100 lb. Club - Thoughts on eating

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05-01-2003, 07:23 PM
I recently read about someone who had felt they had completely crossed the abyss and were now able to listen to their bodies in order to make the best food choices. The called this state "Intuitive eating". I will never reach this state. Ask my body what it wants to eats and it says really bad things, Oreos is what is coming to mind at the moment.

I am a perpetual fat girl there is no cure. My relationship with food is abnormal as an anorexic. All I have is the tools that help me:

1. My BFL book
2. The sweet wonderful ladies at 3FC
3. My spreadsheet that tracks my progress
4. A gym within walking distance of my house
5. Prozac

So what do you think? Could you ever just listen to your body? What are your tools?

Miss Chris:D

05-01-2003, 07:26 PM
i hope to be able to listen to my body when i get down to goal and am working on maintaiing. i don't really want to be a counter for my whole life. i want to be able to judge how i am doing naturally.

as for right, now... no way!

05-01-2003, 09:54 PM
I don't think you are a pertual fat girl at all! I don't want to view food as the enemy and certain foods as off limits. I hope to be able to enjoy all kinds of food just in moderation and with some sense of sanity. Previously, eating was the goal. I think I enjoyed actually eating and looking forward to eating more than the actual taste of the food.

So, I kind of agree that at some point we can recognize normal amounts of food and make good decisions about the kinds of things we are eating.

BTW, You are a strikingly beautiful woman Miss Chris whether or not you lose another pound of weight (i promise I am not hiting on a married women!) ;)

05-01-2003, 11:09 PM
I feel confident that I will accomplish good things in my lifetime, but overcoming my weight and food issues isn't one of them. For something I love so much it makes me so sad and angry at times.

I can't for the life of me understand why the pain of being overweight isn't enough to motivate me to do something about it. I am always concious of my body and consumed by thoughts of disappointment in myself. I know what must be done, and at times I feel like I am ready to do it. Eat better, get out and start exercising again. These thoughts normally come just after I have appeased myself by bingeing or at a time I am unable to get out and move. In bed at night, at work or in the car. It is like the side of my brain that is so miserable about being overweight isn't communicating that disgust with the side that has these good intentions.

One minute I am thankful for the life I have made with my wonderful fiance and great dogs, and being fat doesn't matter. Another minute nothing will be right until I lose this weight.

Being fat is so complicated!

05-01-2003, 11:12 PM
I don't know if I will ever be able to be intuitive enough to naturally make good food choices. I've been battling an eating disorder(s) for the last 10 years (bulimia/BED), and I have to restrict certain foods. Like cereal for example - I have to buy cereal that I don't like for my daughter (she likes it though), or else I'll end up binging on it. There is no moderation for certain things with me, sadly. So for now, I just don't buy any of my trigger foods, and hope that someday I'll be able to eat them in moderation.

05-01-2003, 11:46 PM
For me, the fact that I finally have realized that this is FOREVER is what has made me turn the corner. I must always be diligent about what I eat and how I feel while eating and whether or not I have true hunger or emotional hunger. I am like an alcoholic, with one big problem: alcoholics don't need to drink to live, but I can't just stop eating altogether.

I also have run the gamut of eating disorders....anorexic behaviors (thank GOD I never fell into full-blown anorexia!), compulsive overeating, bingeing...about the only thing I haven't done is bulimia, but that's because I absolutely hate to throw up.

My tools are my journal (both food and personal), you guys :angel:, and the gym.

05-02-2003, 12:41 AM
I am just listening to my body for now. For a long time, my body wanted the chicken parm dinner w/the side of tomato spinach garlic cheese bread & a large Coke oh & could you throw a couple of cannoli's in there? :ink: Today, it wanted the Amy's Organic cheese ravs & a garden salad & some skim. But after I ate the ravs, I wasn't hungry anymore. So I put the salad back in the fridge & the milk too. I had the milk w/a banana for a snack later & had the salad for dinner.

As far as tools, I think being more aware of my feelings & emotions has really helped. If I know I'm feeling edgy & not actually hungry, then I try & pop a piece of gum, or eat something healthy like some carrots or grapes. Sure, I have some chocolate everyday. I've learned how to break Hershey's miniatures in half, and to leave the half in my mouth, letting it melt completely, no chewing. This satisfies my chocolate craving. :)

Also, knowing how long it takes to walk 2 miles helps, as does keeping my walking shoes & a pair of (clean!) socks in my car for easy walks.

The other thing that keeps me going is my clothes getting looser. :)

As far as the food goes, I know that I have a tendency to overeat--in my family, food meant love. We got together & we ate. That's just what we did. I know that I can't have any food be off limits, that just makes it all the more appealing for me. (Cheetos, anyone?) But now that I've told myself I can have a small bag if I'm really craving them, I haven't craved them much. Weird how that works.

I know now that I can be trusted to make wise choices when out socially--my bout w/food poisoning did that for me quite nicely.

05-02-2003, 08:49 AM
BTW Matt thank you for the compliment, your not so bad your self;)

So some of us feel like we can cross that abyss and some of us can't. I also heard ,"No food can be off limits" I totally agree with that. During the week if I have a craving I write it down. On Friday I evaluate what I really want and I plan my Free Day accordingly. Tommorow I want Popeye (spinach and chicken in a peanut butter sauce) and coffee ice cream. I like Free Day it gives me something to look forward to and I have only had 1 Free Weekend Binge since I started BFL, and oh did it make me feel bad:(

I have to agree fo me I live where Jenelle lives. The realization that my relationship to food is abnormal and unending gives me another tool to help me be concious and healthier. My 2 cents.

Miss Chris:p

05-02-2003, 10:43 AM
This is a very interesting thread. I watched Dr. Phill yesterday and one of the statements on that show really struck home with me. They were talking about a woman who had reached her goal weight but was "white knuckling" it. She was afraid that if she lessened her guard to control her eating she would re-gain the 100+ pounds that she had lost. I fear I will probably have to be as on guard. I have almost reached goal before and then slipped back into old habits that led me back up the scale.

I also wonder if my relationship with food might not be somehow related to brain chemistry. I know there are times when I am not obsessing about food/weight and can stay on program or plan with little effort and there are other times when I absolutely can not for the life of me stay on plan. I don't know what changes from one state to the next though.

Jennelle, I totally agree with your statement about alcohol and addictive behaviours. I quit smoking several years ago (and gained about 70 pounds) and while is was the most difficult thing I have succeeded in doing, it was easy (yes, easy) in comparrison to getting control of my food/weight issues. I can never smoke again and never be around people who do but I can not stop eating or being around people who do.

05-02-2003, 11:37 AM
This is an interesting subject. I would like to believe that along the way a person losing weight would lose that need to be diligent and watchful around food. I watch and talk to my thin friends & family members, and they don't think about food 24 hrs a day like I seem to. They just eat when they're hungry and quit when they're full. They eat what they love or really crave without regard to calories, fat grams, points or any of the other things we "count". I have a son that would say "I'd like something sweet" and eat 1 or 2 bites of a candybar and throw the rest away (well, he would want to throw it away but I would always intervene & eat it myself :o). I watch my grands & when they're very young, they eat this way too, so I'm sure at one time I did too. I have this dream of being that way again.

The Dr. Phil show yesterday was very eye-opening to me too. The one woman who had lost over 100 lbs and her family said she was "no fun" and "mean" and she said she was "white knuckling" being thin. He told her that most people who end up over 100 lbs overweight have an addictive personality, and he said he thought she had changed her addiction from food to one of being thin. It was interesting to me. You always think that if you just lose the weight, everything will just be wonderful. But this woman (to me) seemed just as miserable as she was before she lost the weight. I guess more than ever, I need to be working harder on the issues I have that I eat over, (WHY I am eating when not hungry, etc.) and less time obsessing about WHAT I am putting in my mouth. It really pointed up that if you don't change your life, attitude, whatever you want to call it, along the way, then thin is just going to be feeling thin and miserable, instead of feeling fat and miserable.

05-02-2003, 11:46 AM
I know that when (not if, but when!) I lose the weight that it will be a constant monitoring process for me. I know it won't be easy and that I won't have to think about food or eating right. I imagine that I will weight myself every week to make sure that I haven't gained 2 or 3 pounds, and if I have, then I will have to work harder to get back down again.

However, I hope that I am now in the process of not obsessing on food and obsessing on occasions to eat. I hope to enjoy food and not limit types of food, but recognize that all actions have consequences. Food is not the enemy, or relationship to food is the enemy!

Goddess Jessica
05-02-2003, 12:29 PM
Good topic Miss Chris.

For me, once you've left the world of unhealthy eating and disgusting habits, you're less likely to return, even if you could.

I think you can see this with BFLers who have been on the program for a long time and their free day becomes less and less of a binge day. I know that if I eat something I no longer put on my regular menu (like pizza hut pizza) I feel really gross and even ill afterwards. I think that's your body talking to you.

Yes, my body says "real Coke is soooo yummy... c'mon have some liquid sugar, you love it," but my brain knows better to dip into that pandora's box. So, I can't listen to my body right now, my brain is in control. But I know that my body will kick those addictions some day. That's when my body and I can start talking again.

But for now.... the silent treatment! :)

05-02-2003, 01:06 PM
I've been BIG my entire life.

I remember when I lost 150 lbs (in about a year and 1/2) and was at my goal weight. Any time I came near a bag of chips or cake, I would literally shake uncontrollably. I can't even describe the fear I felt. I kept the weight off for 13+ years.

I had a major even happen in my family 5 years that totally threw me in the other direction and I started to gain. 80 lbs later sigh ~

Being addicted to food is, I believe the worst addiction because you can not live with out it. Every store even the craft stores have row's and row's of candy staring at you. Like I told my hubby when he quit smoking... at least you don't have to look at cigarets every time you go some where and you don't need them to live. You can walk away and not look back (not that I'm saying its easy either, but you know what I mean).

Back to the drawing board eh.

05-02-2003, 02:54 PM
Very interesting thread! What made me get serious about my weight loss journey was being diagnosed as a diabetic. So I'll always have to be mindful of what I eat . . . I'm just hoping that making good choices becomes less of a struggle and more of a "natural" thing. Plus, right now I'm having to measure and write down everything I eat . . . I'm hoping that by the time I reach my goal I'll be able to recognize what good portion sizes are and not have to journal everything (maybe have one day a week when I measure & journal to make sure I'm still on track).

05-02-2003, 04:16 PM
I know that for me it was also health that got me really motivated on my weight loss this time around. For the first time ever, my blood pressure was too high and I was having really bad anxiety attacks.

I know that once before I did lose all my weight and got down to 136, but I gained it all back and lots more. That time around I didn't really change my lifestyle. I used Dr. Atkins diet and stayed on Induction the entire time (meat, eggs, and cheese only). I lost the weight quickly, but I never exercised at all.

This time I feel like I'm actually makine lifestyle changes. I'm eating healthy foods and exercising every day. The only thing that does worry me is that I'm also very strict on this diet. I haven't cheated even once since I started in January at 330 pounds. It's like it has to be all or nothing for me and I know that's not good. I'm a little bit worried that once I do reach goal and I don't need to restrict my calories so much, I haven't learned about moderation.

I definitely know that I won't let my weight get that out of control again. I'm already enjoying life so much more with 92 pounds less of me. I also know that the support I find here makes all the difference in the world!

05-02-2003, 09:26 PM
I have lost 100 lbs. before on the Ornish program and 1-2 hours a day of excercise and believe it or not I did lose it rather quickly, about 6-8 months. When I reached goal I started thinking of myself as "skinny Chris" she could eat what she wanted and it was all in moderation and a good time. Plus I just was so busy with all the friends and attention "skinny Chris" got. Then things started going bad with DH. I would eat and blame him, I took no responsibility:mad:

Before I knew it I was tipping the scales at 180 lbs ( I wish I was 180 right now) and I just couldn't wake up. Before I knew it I was working a largely inactive job with long hours and blew up to 265 lbs:o I dropped 30 when I started at this company, because the baseline activity went up. Okay do I have a point here?:p

I learned quite a bit about myself and my priorities and how I must think in order to have success at all, maintaining is a large abyss to cross and I am a long way from there. Does that make sense?:?: I just thought I would share.

Miss Chris:dizzy:

05-02-2003, 11:54 PM
we're glad you did, it gave us a lot to think about. i want to make sure that there is no "skinny holly" -- she and i are one and the same. =)

05-03-2003, 12:18 AM

I have the same concern. I too have not cheated once since beginning March 5th of this year. While I eat a good amount, I do worry about getting lazy once I have lost the weight.

At the same time, I really make an effort to eat healthy food and not diet food. I also make sure that all the food I eat is enjoyable. I am hoping that will make this a lifestyle change.

I have heard people say that they were finally able to lose weight once something just finally "clicked". I never understood it until now. I think that it clicked for me. This is hte first time EVER that I am really enjoying losing weight. I love the food I eat. I love the exercise and I love the way I feel. So it must have clicked. The question becomes, how do we keep it clicking? I worry that one day, it will unclick just as it clicked. The where am I?

Having said that -- this is also the first time I have had support like 3FC and I think that makes a worls of difference.


05-03-2003, 01:10 AM
I honestly don't think I'll ever be there. I wish I could change that, but I never really grew up with a healthy body image or a healthy way to look at food. When I started this last time, is when I really realized that I will have to do this for the rest of my life. I will never be lucky enough to be one of those people that you see (and I had a friend in high school who was like this) that can stuff their face all day, and not gain a pound...in fact they are trying to gain weight.

But on the other hand I feel lucky in some ways. That being that although it may not take very much to gain the weight, but it takes a whole heck of alot to lose it. Courage, character, determination, will power and strength. And I believe in the end I will be a better person for it. We all will.

But 3FC and my effexor helps also!!! ;)

05-03-2003, 11:12 AM
I have really gotten a lot from reading this thread. Thanks , Miss Chris.

05-03-2003, 04:43 PM

You echoed everything that was going on inside my own head. For the past few months I have not "cheated", because I allow myself to eat what I like, although it tends to be healthier and less than what I used to eat. In fact, right now I'm eating strawberries and angelfood cake, and about an hour ago I was eating a cheddar cheese burrito. However, I tend not to eat more than 1500 calories a day, so I've been losing weight. I've also re-fallen in love with exercise, particularly walking. Something has just "clicked" for me as well, and I know I'm never going back to where I was. I no longer eat for emotional reasons, and I can just eat a single potato chip or a single spoonful of peanut butter now, and put the rest away. Not depriving myself and focusing on what's really going on has helped me immensely.


05-05-2003, 11:33 AM

Yup, that's exactly how I feel! Something just clicked for me this time. I spent years getting up every morning and promising myself that "today would be the day" and then failing every single day. Finally something just clicked and I've been totally faithful since January.

I finally watched my tape last night of the Dr. Phil show from last week where he said that a lot of really overweight people have addictive personalities and they eat in the extreme and then diet in the extreme. I'm worried that that might be me. I was feeling pretty good about how I plan to keep the weight off when I reach goal, but then I watched that show and now I'm a little bit afraid! :eek:

05-05-2003, 12:19 PM
I was feeling pretty good about how I plan to keep the weight off when I reach goal, but then I watched that show and now I'm a little bit afraid!

Mthrgoos68 when I read this the first thing that came to my mind was NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't let this feeling sabotage your efforts. Don't worry about that bridge until you cross it...PLEEEEEEEZE... there's nothing worse than going backwards and thats the place you do not want to be. I would rather be healthy and thinner and worrying about keeping my weight off then unhealthy and getting fatter by the second. Besides you don't know for sure if this will happen to you.

You get those unhealthy thoughts out of your mind and keep doing what you've been doing to get this far !! You deserve to be at goal, you do not deserve this mental torture.

One step at a time okay !!

05-05-2003, 12:35 PM
I hope that there comes a time when my subconscious will be a little bit more in control. Where I can trust myself to get through a day without losing sight of my goals, etc. I see my problems reflected in so many different parts of my life. I know that I have to find a way to stay on track.

My tools are friends, my husband, my trainer, my mother, my children, the internet, books, etc.

05-06-2003, 01:29 AM
Mothergoose -- just remember that feeling of it clicking. Remember how wonderful it feels. I know that it is the high that keeps me going!!

05-06-2003, 09:08 AM
Thanks for the encouragement you guys!! No, I won't let it get me off track. I had a dream the other night that I had cheated, and I felt terrible!! I was so glad to wake up and realize that it wasn't true. Now I know I'm obsessed!!

Thanks again for the encouraging words. It really does make all the difference.

05-06-2003, 01:24 PM
I'm trying very hard this time not to think of anything I do as cheating. As irritated as I get when people ask me, "can you eat that?" it's a phrase that pops into my mind too. Keeping the healthy thought that I can eat whatever I want in healthy portions is the biggest struggle for me. But I think it's also been the key--no more feelings that since I had a handful of Doritos I may as well eat the whole darn bag because the day is ruined. I CAN have a handful and my life will go on and I can still be a healthy person. I don't think this will ever be something I can take for granted, but it is starting to come more naturally.

05-06-2003, 05:21 PM
Miss Chris -

What an amazing thread. I have been following it for days and I finally have time to respond.

I would hope that someday I could be normal in regards to eating. I could just do what came natural and I'd be thin. Food wouldn't be the main focus of my day.

**Sandi snaps out of la la land**

Ain't going to happen. See I tend to be an all or nothing gal. Either doing GREAT and losing, or doing bad and gaining. I NEVER maintain. But either way food is still the focus...as Matt said It's still the goal. If I am being bad it's what can I eat next. If I am being good it's still what can I eat next with a "that low cal" thrown at the end. My whole day revolves arond the food I am eating or not eating.

Right now I need to learn moderation. Nothing is off limits, but you can't have EVERYTHING and you can't have too much of anything. Dying for something, fine, have a small portion of it. But every day can't be a treat day. My goal is to lose 1 lb each and every week. But just 1 lb. If I could do that every week, that would be moderation at it's finest.

05-06-2003, 05:44 PM
I think we place so much pressure on ourselves when we make a healthy lifestyle change. Food can be fearfull, and our thoughts can be just as consumed with what we can't have as it did before with what we *might* have. I agree that the obsession with food can carry over in unhealthy ways to the fear of bad food or things off limits.

Last night I was at the airport stuck (the weather was horrible in Atlanta and we couldn't fly out for several hours). We ended up missing dinner. Claudia (a waif thin co-worker) went to get some coffee and brought me and her back each a huge chocalate chip cookie. I looked at that damn thing and I got nervous. I wanted it (i was starving) but it was "bad". Since Claudia was nice and brought it back to me I felt bad about turning it down. So I ate it. You know what, IT DIDN'T KILL ME. I realized how silly I was being obsessing on how much damage this one cookie was going to do to me. I was just as compulsive in regards to food as I was before; just about what I couldn't have as opposed to what I wanted to have.

The other unhealthy pressure we place on ourselves is seeing that scale move down. You know what, not having a gain is an accomplishment! Sandi, 1 pound a week would be awesome! It takes each person a different amount of time to get to "goal", but in my mind getting to goal is not the important aspect of this journey. It is living healthier and making permanent changes. This journey is a lifetime change, it is not something that we can turn off when we reach goal. Its not like we are "dieting" and then it is over. Just by making better choices and being more active, we will naturally lose weight. However, we need to know that the occasional cookie does not mean the end of the world.

I hope that by making permanent the moderate and healthy changes in my eating pattern that food will not be the main focus of my day. That doesn't mean that staying healthy and monitoring my weight won't be an issue. There are too many other things in life I want to spend time doing and I can't afford to think about food 24 hours a day.

05-07-2003, 01:29 PM
Just pulling this back up for Beth Anne...

05-07-2003, 02:13 PM
Hmm Wow.

This really makes me think.

But at the same time I just wish I could be in a place where I felt like this was ok to do... because so much of me is rebelling against the fact that I have to think about this and focus on this every day for the rest of my life.

I'm hoping once I just get over that, this could work. I just wish I had the time and could afford to go to weight watchers - because I think that being back there would help me.

But right now we're in such a financial crisis and have only one car, so there's just no way that would be possible. :(

05-07-2003, 02:14 PM
Oh but I do have tools

I have the entire Weight Watchers program
A Zone Diet Book
A Palm Pilot with the WW counting softwear loaded on it (Shh don't tell)
I have head knowledge
I have Paxil
I know how much better I feel 40 lbs lighter...

05-07-2003, 09:50 PM
It sounds like addiction and overall I find that to be true in my life. I wonder what was the moment when food crossed the barrier from being something that nourished me to a crutch. I am sure some of those mixed messages as a teen certainly helped, along with my family criticism. I have always felt weird and I guess some of that emotional outlet was taken out on food. Why then if I realize this does my relationship wax and wane so much?Am I alone in this?

I know at certain points I have gained because of depression, but when I got to my highest ever 265. Depression wasn't as much of a factor as being totally clueless. I really did not see that 265. Of course I wasn't weighing myself. I had no idea till I got on a scale for a pre-work physical. Talk about shock:o

So is there a moment when food goes from a nutritional source to a crutch? Can you remember when?

Miss Chris

05-08-2003, 11:08 AM
Hmmm....Chris....good question! Thinking back, I guess was about 11 when family members first started making my weight an issue. I wanted to be a sixth grade cheerleader, and my mom said, "You don't really have the body to be a cheerleader." I don't remember that comment particularly bothering me, though, as I went on and did it anyway. Then in seventh grade, I joined the gymnastics team. Almost all of us were rank beginners...I remember one practice where we were doing handstands into somersaults and we all kept hitting the mat with a tremendous FLOMP! It started to get funny, and soon we were all seeing who could make the loudest flomp. Still, I wasn't ashamed to get out in front of lots of people in nothing but a leotard.

I think maybe the turning point was eighth grade. That's when boys really started to be a big deal for me, and I couldn't seem to get a boyfriend. I would look at the girls with boyfriends and they were all so much smaller than me. Not that I was big...probably 5'4" and a size 11...but they were all size 2 and 4. Also, I had a girl who sat next to me in band who was a child model and just absolutely obsessed over her weight. I think she thought she was trying to be helpful, but it wasn't when she would sit there and tell me all these "diets" to lose weight.

But eighth grade was my first serious diet. A peanut butter sandwich (no jelly) a day - that's it. If I was painfully hungry, I might eat an apple. Otherwise, I just drank Tab (EEEEEEWWWW!) all day. By the end of eighth grade, I was about 5'4" and weighed 106 lbs. (Of course, I gained all the weight back and then some over the summer.) At that weight, people just fawned over me, family members included. I think back though and, Jeez, I must have looked anorexic!

Long story for a short question...

05-08-2003, 11:22 AM
I don't remember totally when, but I'm pretty sure it really started when people started pointing out I was a little heavy. I really wasn't heavy, but they said I was. I honestly was just big boned, and looking back on those pictures now, and the clothes I could wear makes me want to scream and yell at the people in my past who made me think I was fat. I was no where near fat.

I think a lot of it turned into a coping mechanism for me when I was about 12. I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder and pretty much had my life taken away from me. No physical contact sports, had to be immensely careful of everything, and I couldn't do much of anything, so I turned to food for comfort. I was also shunned and put down by people constantly, so again, food was my friend.

I hid my eating from everyone, because my mother nit picked over every bite of food. Even eating couldn't be fun because I ate to fast, I wasn't chewing, "You eat like a snake, you just swallow everything whole"... But they also criticized what and how much I was eating, so it was almost like I ate fast so I could get eating over with and not have anyone criticize me. I think I saved the enjoyment of food for times when I was by myself. I remember sneaking containers of frosting into my room and slowly licking the spoon savoring every bite, and stashing the container under my bed, for late night rendezvous.

It's almost like eating food was made forbidden, so I wanted it more, and snuck around eating food when no one was looking.

I was "forbidden" to participate in a lot of things, and made to think things were bad - like movies rated higher than PG, smoking, drinking, etc. The normal things.. but since my parents were really strict, I rebelled against all of it and just wanted to do it all the more.

How sad is it that I can see how my parents just trying to help by telling me I was eating too much actually made me eat MORE??

I can still see how this affects me today, because the only thing I've really been able to say "You cannot eat this ever again" and succeed at not eating is Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Make anything else "forbidden food" and I want it all the more.

05-08-2003, 01:59 PM
I was just doing a search for women's magazine that might be interested in a story I have to sell and I stumbled across a pro-ana site. It was so sad. :cry: One girl asking about how long you can go on a water fast without dying...people were responding, telling her to make sure she ate something small like a hard boiled egg every four or five days so that her metabolism wouldn't slow down and she'd still lose....one response saying that she should be able to go at least 30 to 40 DAYS as long as she took a multivitamin every day.

What's scary is that I have purposefully gone four days without eating before. I have also tried the multivitamin and diet Coke diet. What keeps us from falling into that abyss? How close have we been? Is it a matter of "There but for the grace of God go I"?

Wow. That really messed with my head.

05-08-2003, 02:10 PM
I don't think there were any traumatic issues in my life that caused me to eat. I have always been 'big boned'. Of course I think some of it was baby fat and it would have disappeared if I had not started dieting at such a young age. That is what is sad. I have dieted my entire life to get this fat! I also think I am one of those people who enjoys eating. I really think some people eat to live and make choices for nutrition and not for taste. I eat for taste. I love sweets and chocolate. I probably always will.

I also truely believe that at least some of it is genetic. My mothers side of the family had no weight problems. My fathers side did. I am not saying that I have to be fat. I can change it but it does make it a little more difficult.

05-08-2003, 04:00 PM
No food - just water. That is just unbeleivable. What is pro-ana?

I don't think I can identify a moment or event. I was always bigger than the other girls - but I mean like a 12 in high school. After high school my weight started creeping up. So I always had the botfriends and no one made fun of me. No one still makes fun of me.

I was at a strss-seminar today and we were talking about changing habits and rewards and she said that when you bottom out - you will build a bridge and start to change what needs to be changed. I said what if I don't want to wait until I bottom out. She said the pain of the consequences have to be greater than the pain of the solution. Very interesting.

05-08-2003, 04:46 PM
Originally posted by JacobsMommy
I was at a strss-seminar today and we were talking about changing habits and rewards and she said that when you bottom out - you will build a bridge and start to change what needs to be changed. I said what if I don't want to wait until I bottom out. She said the pain of the consequences have to be greater than the pain of the solution. Very interesting.

Pro-Ana is pro-anorexia, Pro-Mia is pro-bullemic, Pro-ED, is pro-eating diorders. Believe it or not they have web sites just like 3FC where they discuss starving tips and offer support. It is a thin line sometimes we walk. Thats what I found most disturbing.:(

But getting at the quote above, The pain of the consequence have to be greater than the pain of the solution. HMMM!The consequences of being fat?

1. Your clothing options are limited
2. Winded walking stairs
3. Society (no matter how fat it gets) sees you as lazy.
4. How sexy you feel is compromised
5. You can have health problems/lowered mortality

But alot of these consequence except for stairs are pretty in direct, in the interim you get to eat crap. Crap usually tastes good, just doesn't feel as good. That is part of the pain of the solution. :?: Now my brain is frying as I wrap my mind around this. I like excercise but I always have to plan it, and if I miss the guilt is terrible. Broken self promises and all that. That sometimes makes me very mad:mad: The pain of the solution. HMMM.

Diet, lifestyle change, crossing the abyss to no longer deal with the 5 things above. Living healthy forever. Its alot on a persons plate. This isn't that complicated and yet it is!!!!!Your view??

Miss Chris

05-08-2003, 05:15 PM
Very interesting thread! Thank you Chris for starting this and getting us all thinking about this issue.

For me, the biggest 'pain of the consequence' was my own self image. I hate the feeling that people think different of me and judge my self worth based on how much body fat I have. It has dramtic consequences for self esteem, dating, and interacting with others. I would give anything to not feel like my weight is the first impression that I make. Independent of all the health consequences that arise.

I keep trying to remind myself of the new world that will open up to me when I am seen just as every one else is seen. To have the impression that I make be a consquence of my action and not my bulk.

05-08-2003, 05:38 PM
I know exactly when I started using food as a crutch. My grandmother, who was my caregiver, died, and I was alone after school. I started eating to fill that empty void in the lonely house. After that, I think it became more of a habit then anything, and food is the first thing I turn to when I feel lonely and bored. I notice that I don't turn to food when I'm happy or upset. Breaking what is now an ingrained habit is the hardest thing I've had to do, and I often fail miserably at it.

Intellectually I know that the health issues are important. However, like people who only quit smoking after a cancer diagnosis, I think it's harder to think about losing weight in response to a potential health problem rather than having an actual health crisis occur. Maybe that's the "bottoming out" in the health-related consequences? I hope not.