100 lb. Club - feeling overwhelmed...please help! (especially moms)

04-27-2003, 11:02 PM

I feel totally overwhelmed trying to keep up with everything....I was wondering if anyone had any tips/suggestions? I just feel like it's impossible to keep up-with keeping the house clean, laundry, exercising, work. planning healthy meals, having enough time and energy...

Okay, I am babbling. I am feeling very stressed trying to keep up with everything at home (especially since I work full time also). My husband does a lot in the house, I can't complain about that. I just never feel like I can really relax, cause there's ALWAYS something that needs to be done. I'm not trying to keep a perfectly neat house, with gourmet meals every night (believe me, that's not the case!). I just want to feel more in control, or just find a way to feel satisfied with what I can do, and to heck with what I can't. Matthew won't remember if the house was sparkling, he'll remember that I had time and energy to play with him..but I feel so drained by the end of the day with trying to do so much that I think I'm not giving him enough.


04-28-2003, 01:56 AM

Hi, I'm Jen. I don't really have any kind of advice for you or anything, but I know EXACTLY how you feel. I feel like that every day. I don't work, but I go to school 7 hours a day. I always feel like I'm not doing enough, or I'm not spending enough time with my kids, especially my son. There always seems to be laundry to do, or some kind of mess to clean up. Trying to fit in exercising along with the extra study time, homework time for my son (which he has on a daily basis, and he's only 7) Trying to make sure that not only I eat right, but that the kids eat right also so they don't have to go thru what I am going thru. I feel totally out of control most of the time, and even occasionally find myself breaking down and crying. I want my kids to see me happy (which I try to do) and grow up knowing I love them more than anything, not that I was always too busy for them.

I guess this probobly didn't help you, I just want you to know that you're not alone in how you feel.

04-28-2003, 09:36 AM
Sherry - I TOTALLY feel your pain!!!! :grouphug:

There's a website called flylady.net that might be of some help. She gets a little anal-retentive for my tastes, and the amount of email that she puts out is insane, but she has some good tips:

- Make sure the kitchen sink is free of dishes before you go to bed. As the sink goes, so goes the rest of the kitchen.

- Make your bed every morning. (It sounds silly, but it really does make you feel like you've accomplished something!)

- As soon as your clothes come out of the dryer, fold them and put them away. (What used to KILL me was having a huge unmanageable pile of "clean" clothes on the loveseat in the living room!)

- Find the "hotspots" in your house. Hotspots are places where, if left unchecked, clutter will take over. My worst hotspots are the top of the entertainment center, the kitchen table, the computer desk, and the top of the dryer. If you can't do anything else, take 15 minutes each day to clear those off before they get out of control.

- For the "big" chores, make yourself a weekly calendar. Shop on the same day, mop on the same day, vacuum on the same day, change beds on the same day each week. When I was working full time, I lumped all my big chores together on Saturday morning but I NEVER worked more than an hour - whether it all got done or not.

- Don't be afraid to ask your husband to pitch in! Once he finds out you're a happier person with his help, he'll do it willingly.

I really hope this helps, because I know how stressed and overwhelmed you are feeling! Whatever you do, though, don't come to MY house and see if I'm following my own advice! :lol: :lol:

04-28-2003, 11:16 AM
Sherry I'm in the same boat.

I work full time, have a wee one, house, food, cleaning. uhhhh.
My day starts at 4:30 am and doesn't end until the baby's asleep at 7:30 pm, even then I'm still working.

The only time I get to spend w/my little girl is weekends and 1 hour at night. That alone became very stressful on me. I really want more time w/her so this is what I've been doing lately and it helps ALOT.

Lately I've been trying to keep up w/my house work at night, as much as I am exhausted it helps soooo much. Nothing like walking into the house after work and its tidy - 5 extra minutes in the kitchen does wonders. I've also started doing laundry on Wednesday nights, I'll do one or 2 loads, wash & dry but I won't fold it until the next night or I try to stick everything on hangers so it doesn't wrinkle, then I can worry about the undies & socks at another time. I'll vacuum and dust on Friday nights, keeping hardly any knick knack laying around cuts down on the dusting like you wouldn't believe. Simple is easier.

You know whats cool, I bought those clorox wipes for the toilet and bathroom they are great !! there's no paper towels, no bottles, you just whip one out and wipe the toilet or sink down real quick. Then you just toss them away. I heard Scrubbing bubbles has one too, gotta check them out. Floors can be delt w/at a later time. I also have the clorox wet mop thingy where you push the button and liquid comes out.....what a life saver, 1 2 3 and I'm done washing the floor, you can also refill the bottle w/your own solution (which I do to save money).

When I cook on Saturday or Sunday I try to make alot of extra's so I can have left overs for the week. This helps ALOT. So say I am cooking a meat loaf, take some of that meat and make some meat balls, or put a whole chicken in a crock pot. When its done you can make chicken sandwiches, hot chicken & gravy or a caserole dish. So what if we eat chicken a few times a week, its prepared different ways. Some nights its just a hotdog or frozen fish. For veggies its 99% of the time frozen. Sometimes I let them thaw out in the frig over night so the next day it cuts down on cooking time. One night a week we might grab a pizza, and even if we do that (which is rare) we have left overs for the next day.

For this week, yesterday, I made a tuna casserole and I put a chicken in the crock pot. So we will alternate, 1 night tuna, one night chicken, the next night tuna (even the dog gets some LOLOLOL). Throw some salad and bread on the table and your all set. Grill some bread and make a nice ckn w/tomato and honey mustard sandwich.

Hope this helps.
Hugs, Leenie

04-28-2003, 03:14 PM
my heart goes out to each and every one of you. i have no children, no husband, and i'm living with the 80-year old mom for HER health and sanity [lord knows it's not for mine!!!!], and i work full time

and i can't keep up !!!!! i have absolutely no idea how moms in general manage, and how moms who work outside the home aren't all in the hospital being treated for exhaustion!

so, at least some good wishes and sympathy hugs for you all... even though we're not wearing the same shoes.

04-28-2003, 03:46 PM
I used to work full-time and have kids around. My husband and I divided up all the household chores evenly. When one person cooked, the other did the dishes. When he cooked, I'd go for a walk. and I'd walk on my lunch hour. We had a list of weekend chores that we'd divvy up (one week I'd clean the bathroom, tne next weekend he'd clean the bathroom, etc., etc.). The kids had to pick up after themselves even at a young age. I wasn't fussy about their rooms--just made them close the doors, but what I called "the public areas" of the house had to be kept tidy. My Dh was never as particular as I was when I cleaned, but that was something I had to get over or I would have been doing it all myself.

We've always made up menus for the week, so we knew what we were eating each night and had the supplies on hand. We took turns mowing the lawn.

Worked for us!

04-28-2003, 06:18 PM

I think it's a "Mom Thing" that we want everything to be perfect for our kids. I think there's a lot of nights when we all go to bed thinking of all the things we could have, or should have done differently thoughout the day.

I have six kids (ages 4-17) and my husband is a truck driver, so I have the kids by myself most of the time. I run my own business out of my home, and work part time at our church 3 mornings a week. When I decided to start really making life style changes in January, I had to learn to put my exercise routine above a lot of other things.

The laundry piles up, the house is never completely clean, but I let it wait so that I can exercise. It's hard for Moms to make time for themselves, but it's really important that we do.

One thing that really helps me, is my Crock Pot. It's wonderful to just dump in a bunch of ingredients in the morning and have a great dinner ready that night. My breadmaker is also a huge blessing! I've tried doing some Once-A-Month cooking and that helps sometimes too. I don't do it for all of our meals, but I might take a Saturday and make up big batches of muffins, pancakes, waffles, and things like that and stock up our freezers. If I'm really in a time crunch, I can even pull out some of the pancakes for dinner and the kids love them.

I'm sure you're doing a better job than you think you are so be proud of yourself for all that you are accomplishing!

04-28-2003, 10:46 PM
Thank you all so much for your support and suggestions. I really, really appreciate it....I have such respect for all of you.

I've tried flylady, but I didn't even have time to READ the e-mails, much less try the suggestions.

I have started to try and cook and freeze some meals. I REALLY want to buy a refrigerator/freezer to keep in our garage so I have plenty of room. The problem now is our freezer is packed (with healthy food), but I don't have room to freeze many meals. My husband is against the idea-thinks we don't need it, but I will change his mind, or just buy it myself. The money will be worth the time and energy saved.

Our laundry isn't too bad, cause there's only three of us.

My major thing of trying to keep up with are the kitchen and bathrooms. Leens, I have bought those clorox wipes too. (just yesterday in fact) I just hate the expense of them.

The thing I worry about the most (yes, I'm a worrier) is having enough time for Matthew. I'm so tired at the end of the day, and I feel like I'm shortchanging him, cause I don't have any energy left. Even with eating better and exercising, I'm still not one of those on the go moms-the ones who chase their kids in the park. Some nights (like tonight) my husband took Matthew to the playground, and I stayed home cause I was too darn tired. I have to just drag myself. I need to get more sleep, but thats a whole other issue.

Thanks for listening,

Thanks again for all your suggestions

04-29-2003, 12:13 AM

One way to save money on those wipes- buy a package of baby wipes (I just buy the store brand at Wal-Mart), and then pour in some rubbing alcohol. That way you can use them to wipe down the bathroom and they will disinfect and clean, but they aren't nearly as expensive.

All 3 of my boys share one bathroom (they're 7,5, and 4) and I would be lost without these!!

04-29-2003, 07:57 PM
Sherry, the one thing that has helped me deal with the same problem is this: When I am on my death bed, I will not look back and say, I am glad that I washed all those dishes, kept my house very clean or spent all of that time vacumning, but that I cared for my children and left them knowing they are loved and cherished.
This little idea has helped me calm down on how the kitchen floor looks, or bathroom sink. I now use the cleaning time with the boys. They have learned to help out, my three year old loves to clean the sinks and my five yo loves to vaccumn. So, I let them do it. It may not be perfect, but my kids enjoy helping.

The bathroom and boys thing, here is my hint. I bought a rug, one of those that fit around the front of the potty, and put it around the back. That way, instead of mopping everyday to clean up the accidents, I just toss it into the washer.

04-30-2003, 02:02 PM
I guess I am the odd woman out around here. The state of my house generally doesn't concern me very much. I do my best to keep up with it but if it is isn't perfect I don't really care anymore. We can only do the best we can do. In the grand scheme of things how really important is it that the house is spotless? Isn't it more important to focus on our health and our children rather than spend time cleaning the house or getting on the rest of the family's case about it not being tidy? I'd rather spend an hour playing with my son or taking a walk then cleaning the house. He's not going to remember that our house was sparkling clean but he'll remember that his mom loved him and spent time with him. Sorry this is a subject that drives me mad. I think we've all been brainwashed by Martha Stewart to think that everything has to be just so and if it isn't then we have somehow failed. I was at a friend's house the other day and their house is covered in dog hair and is as untidy as you can get but they are all happy and satisfied with their lives. I think that is more important than making sure the dog hair is vacuumed up every day.

04-30-2003, 05:01 PM
I don't think you're the odd woman out, Jen. I think the posts show that most of us feel the same way. I'm also anti-Martha Stewart, but if you could see my house some days, it is absolutely gross.

04-30-2003, 05:08 PM
Gosh, Jen, I didn't know you came over to my house the other day! Ha ha! Your friend's house sounds just like mine. With three dogs and three cats, there's no end to the fur so people coming to my house just have to live with it or don't come over.