Pregnant - Nursing - Having a hard time dealing




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ape85
11-28-2012, 05:45 PM
Hello everyone, Its been over a year and a half since Ive been here. I lost almost 100 lbs and wouldn't have been able to do this without this site. Losing the weight changed my life and made me so much happier. Its the reason i met a wonderful guy and now I'm expecting a baby on March. As excited as i am I'm having a really hard time coping with the weight gain. To loose the weight I was really obsessive about counting calories and working out. Once i met my boyfriend I slacked off and gained 20lbs which bothered me but not too much as a lot of people told me I looked healthier. Since becoming pregnant though things have gotten out of hand. Ive gained another 30 lbs. I cried today when my future sister in law sent me a pic she took of me at a party the other night. I'm trying to watch what i eat but its so hard, I'm at 25 weeks now and am constantly hungry. Anyone I try to talk to about it looks at me like Im crazy, or vain saying "your pregnant,your gonna gain dont worry about, eat what you want". I feel like i spend a good chunk of the day worrying about my weight. Sorry this is so long, It makes me feel better just to write it out. Does anyone else have this issue and how are you coping?


Learning 2 Live
11-28-2012, 07:01 PM
I've never had children, so I can't help you there. But I can tell you that you are definitely not crazy. I understand what you are feeling. You don't want people to just dismiss your weight gain as a simple side effect of being pregnant. You worked very hard to achieve your goal and something completely out of your control is ticking the scale back up.

But try not to dwell on it though. When your cute little baby comes along, you may feel entirely different. You may feel like it was all very much worth it. Also, you've lost the weight before, you can do it again (3FC isn't going anywhere). Only this time you will have those post pregnancy hormones to help you out. They are selling HCG in a bottle and your body will produce it naturally. The changes you are going through now are just a part of life. It's important to let yourself feel everything without fighting it. If you have to cry, let it out. If you have to scream, do so. Just know that you have the ability to get yourself back to where you want to be. This is only temporary! Just try to enjoy your life as it is now. You can worry about the other stuff later.

bargoo
11-28-2012, 07:53 PM
You will gain weight when you are pregnant, there is no question of that. You should be eating healthy, nutritious food. Do not take your friends advice and eat what you want, the baby needs healthy food. Ask your doctor for advice as to what you should eat while pregnant. Tell the doctor your concerns.


zeffryn
11-29-2012, 04:46 PM
Ape, I am right there with you. I lost 100+ lbs. and have been maintaining for over a year. My husband and I decided in June to start trying for our third, and while I thought I had a grip on the emotional rollercoaster I would go through gaining weight again, I really didn't. I'm 10 weeks now and having a tough time coping. I try to stay active every day (I'm a fitness instructor and hoping to continue teaching for a few months more) and maintain a relatively healthy diet. I do allow myself some splurges once in awhile (dessert or something, but if I have dessert, I limit myself to three bites), but try to make sure that what I am putting in my mouth is what is healthy for baby...not just extraneous calories. That being said, I've gained 7 lbs. already...though I've been maintaining that weight for a few weeks. I still really am having a hard time, though and I feel like now that I don't even really look pregnant, I just look chunky....and feel it too. It's taken its toll on our sex life because I am worried that DH won't think I'm attractive now that I'm gaining again (he's been clear that that isn't the case, and if anything, he finds me more attractive), but still...there is such an emotional stigma attached to it.

From my previous two pregnancies, I can tell you DON'T eat whatever you want. I gained 65 lbs. with my first son and since I was already obese with my second, just a mere 35 (still too much for my body weight). I ate whatever I wanted and didn't move at all. I was lethargic and big and hated the way I looked when it should have been a time for me to enjoy my body.

It's all perspective. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you can't still gain weight healthily, be aware of the foods that you're eating and understand that everything that you're eating is nourishing the baby. Baby gets more nourishment from healthy, whole foods than he does processed, high calorie, sugary foods. Allow yourself the splurge once in awhile, but keep it in moderation. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you have to eat dessert every night. Keep yourself active if your not already, it will help keep your body limber at the very end and will help you recover faster after labor.

Good luck!

Goddess Jessica
11-30-2012, 02:03 PM
Yes, my first pregnancy sent me into a spiral of body betrayal!

I was never okay with what I gained and I beat myself up all the time. And boy did I gain! Like 60 pounds. But here's the good news. It all came off for me one the baby was born. I went back to eating well and exercising. Now I am pregnant with #2 and I am much kinder. I am gaining way less (it helps that I am not sick all the time).

I agree with the idea that you can keep an eye on your healthy eating habits and continue to exercise (I walked 5 miles the morning before I went into labor). Don't beat yourself up but don't also give up!

banananutmuffin
12-04-2012, 10:36 AM
I'm one of those people who gives myself a license to eat whatever and lay around when I'm pregnant, so I gained plenty with both of my pregnancies. It does come off though, as long as you return to plan and are focused. Easier said than done, as infants require a lot of your time, energy, and sleep. But it is possible.

I'm pregnant now (9 weeks) and have been having a fun little free for all with food, but now I am refocused on eating right through the rest of the pregnancy. I do believe that making good choices for the next 9 or so months will be better for everyone--me and the baby.

In addition, don't beat yourself up if the weight doesn't "fly off" after the baby is born. I gained about the same amount of weight with both my previous pregnancies. With the first, I just could not get the weight off, no matter how hard I tried. I lost some, but not all. With my second, I didn't work hard at nutrition/exercise, and the weight just melted off. You never know how your body is going to react after you give birth. Just remember that no matter what, it's likely to take some time to get the weight off. Be patient with yourself. With a newborn in the house, you'll need to be as patient and understanding with yourself as possible.

Mozzy
12-05-2012, 10:05 AM
Hugs!

It's easy to become obsessed with watching what you eat. But I firmly believe that when your pregnant body sends hunger cues to your brain it's because you need fuel to grow that baby. Weight gain during pregnancy is normal, healthy, and expected. You don't need to gain 60lbs, but 30 is perfectly reasonable. And just remember to enjoy your pregnancy. When the baby gets here, we'll be here to support you in losing the left over weight. Hugs!

Annafterolin
12-13-2012, 11:34 AM
I have two children and I gained big with both, difference between my first and second is the second big gain is so hard for me to lose! Right after childbirth the first 15 to 25 is gone, water weight, baby weight, blood volume etc gone. The last say 59 to 60 is what stayed. I weighed 215 with second, lost 15, maintained 190/195 for months and finally after deciding it was a good time to lose more weight because I was nursing less and I am still struggling to lose. My best advice is eat like you would if you were maintaining, maybe a tad more. Eat healthy and exercise! I've read that pregnant women who exercise are more likely to lose the weight they gained during pregnancy after giving birth..... I did not do much exercising, but now I wish I had.

PunkRockerMum
12-21-2012, 02:24 AM
It's all perspective. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you can't still gain weight healthily, be aware of the foods that you're eating and understand that everything that you're eating is nourishing the baby. Baby gets more nourishment from healthy, whole foods than he does processed, high calorie, sugary foods. Allow yourself the splurge once in awhile, but keep it in moderation. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that you have to eat dessert every night. Keep yourself active if your not already, it will help keep your body limber at the very end and will help you recover faster after labor. Good luck!

:yes: And I would also add: go to see a registered dietitian. They can give you a tailored eating plan to help you maintain a healthy weight while gaining for baby. It's tremendously helpful!

Back2goal
01-05-2013, 02:11 AM
I joined 3FC just to say you're not alone! I'm also due in March too :) I've been using the recipes etc on this site for a couple of years but have never bothered with the forum but I could have written your post myself.
I lost 84lbs after I had my son 3 years ago. I was already obese and finally got to a healthy weight and now the very idea of gaining is terrifying!

I gained about 44lbs when I was pregnant with DS and as I was already overweight that just tipped me over the edge. After I had him I dieted for over a year to drop all that weight and now that I'm pregnant again the fact that my body demands more food and that I should be gaining almost sends me into a panic attack.
I was pretty obsessive too, to the degree that I'm pretty sure I only narrowly avoided an eating disorder. The only thing that pulled me out of it was the fact that I went away from home for work for three months nearly 2 years ago and had no control over what went into my food.
I spiraled out of control by comfort eating and gained quite a bit so that by the time I got home I was about 15lbs heavier than when I left. I haven't been happy with my weight even briefly since then because I couldn't get back to my goal weight of 143lbs.

And now that I'm pregnant again, well you can imagine the fears resurfacing and the distress I'm feeling at my body being so... Rotund.
It's not healthy I know, but I can't help myself! I know all about nutrition and fitness. I'm also very aware that I need to gain a healthy amount of weight and so far I've managed to stick to being in between the minimum and maximum gain amount recommended for me. But it doesn't help when everyone keeps saying to me "You're supposed to get fat!". People don't realise how that makes me feel. When I look in the mirror I see a huge belly and can't help but think that there's no way I should be that big. At least I look pregnant this time instead of just fat :/
I'm lucky I think in that I decided at the beginning of this pregnancy that I would stick in between the minimum and maximum 'healthy' gain amounts and so far I've achieved that with sensible eating and not snacking on junk. But I do know exactly how you feel, with perhaps the added incentive of having to be careful that I don't slip back into obsessive compulsive and unhealthy eating behaviours. It's a struggle but I'm getting there :)

GlamourGirl827
01-05-2013, 04:22 PM
Like some of the other ladies here, I gained a bit much with my first and second, but it did come off with diet and exercise. However I will say that it was slower coming off with my second...
I'm only 9 weeks, and up until about a week ago my m/s was so bad I lost 10 lbs, but I have been starting to be able to eat. Unfortunately, I can only keep down what I am craving. I have been eating fruit, cottage cheese, dry cereal...and ice cream sandwiches! :o I know that this is temporary and usually by the second trimester I am able to make healthy choices as m/s is gone and I can keep down what ever I choose.

What I did start with this pregnancy, and maybe this will help you and anyone that has even longer to go, I use Lose It, this app on my iPhone to track my calories. Its not that I'm trying to lose weight, but I am to keep my calories at about 1800-2000 (I'm not active at all, too tired) And even with the occasional ice cream sandwich I have done so successfully so far. And I have maintained 179 all week. My doctor is fine with me not gaining at this point as long as I maintain. Being over weight already, I don't need to gain more than 15 -25 lbs in 9 months, and let me say I can easily gain twice that and more during a pregnancy...



The weight will come off when you have the baby, but I understand that its still this feeling of panic meets "omg, I have to lose it AGAIN!!" :eek:
But it can be done. :)