Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 11-28-2012, 12:00 PM   #1  
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Thumbs up anyone else dealing with weight loss and caring for disabled family member?

hello!
last time i was on here, my biggest problem was my weight. unfortunately, since that time, we have found out that our youngest is disabled. it has been VERY hard..he cant/wont eat solid food, so he has a feeding tube, he cant talk or do a lot of age appropriate things he should be doing, and he is also deaf. he can walk though, which i am thankful for. the really tough thing is that he doesnt sleep at night. up until about a month ago, he would wake up every 2 hours on the dot, all night long..now he gets up 2-3 times a night, which isnt as bad, but its still very exhausting. is anyone trying to get healthier while dealing with similar challenges?? i could REALLY use some advice, as this is uncharted territory for me.

oops, i meant to say that i have had a a lot of depression over this whole thing, which has affected my efforts.

Last edited by candytrees; 11-28-2012 at 12:02 PM.
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Old 11-28-2012, 02:53 PM   #2  
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Default Moving through Challenges...

First off let me tell you something that I am sure you can never hear enough; you are a great mother. It is never easy to deal with disability in your child and while I cannot speak to personally being a mother of a child with a disability, I have worked with children with disabilities, specifically one family and it was one of the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. And I know it is the best thing that has ever happened to them.

I know that seems counter-intuitive, but I have seen it in action. It has not been a perfect journey for them, nor a painless one, but today these are some of the happiest most well-adjusted people I have ever met. They employed several techniques, most importantly that of the Option Process. I highly recommend the book, Happiness is a Choice by Barry Neil Kaufman. It was life changing for me and working with "my Angel" (as I call him,) was truly trans-formative.

Please don't take this as being preachy or me saying that there is anything wrong with they way you feel now. It is totally your right to feel however you want and all of your emotions in this matter are valid. But I have seen that there can be light at the end of the tunnel and moreover, I have seen how what one person can consider a tragedy one day can become the best and biggest gift the next day. My favorite saying I took from the process was, "The cause is in the future." This means that while you may not understand why this is happening to you at this moment, there will come a time, maybe tomorrow, maybe 30 years from now, when you will look back and be like, "Ooooh... I get it now."

Lastly, this may not be a belief you share, but I have come to believe that there are reasons we are given challenges in life. It is not some karmic punishment but instead a chance for beauty and love to grow and flourish. I also believe that our children choose us in ways we can't even begin to understand, (a soul-contract, if you will,) and that if this beautiful little soul chose you, you must be a very good person ready to learn some very big cosmic lessons.

I know this may not be the answer you were looking for, and again, please do not think I am sitting back and saying, "just deal with it." I can't possibly understand how hard this must be for you. Just please know that I am sending you love and giant hugs and the wish that this process be filled with as many (or more!) blessings as there are hardships. Hugs!
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Old 11-28-2012, 03:48 PM   #3  
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oh no, i can agree with that now..but up until several months ago..i was so very sad..i felt like i was in mourning. i seriously have never felt like that in my life. i guess ive either gotten used to it, or gotten over it, but now i feel "ok" about it. he is such a sweet little boy, and i have done everything i can for him. i also started a facebook group for parents of disabled kids in my area, which makes me feel that i am using this situation to help others! i just cant believe how utterly depressed i was though..i just didnt care. which resulted in some major high blood pressure and huge weight gains, thats for sure. i decided that i cant just lay down and die, i have my husband and little francis has 6 other siblings who need me too, so now i am ready to get back on track!
i think the high blood pressure scare has really motivated me, because that was just not even acceptable.
at any rate, here is a picture of my little sweetheart..we love him so much!!!

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Old 12-05-2012, 11:59 PM   #4  
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You have a beautiful son! You are a lucky woman!

I'm glad things are getting easier for you. Remember there are communities out there to help. You are not alone!
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Old 12-06-2012, 11:55 AM   #5  
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I'm not but it takes a big hearted, deep caring person to that.The world needs more of those people who are warm, caring and kind. You are a pretty neat lady to give so much of yourself to your little one. He's a cutie too. I thought I would send you a hug.
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Old 12-06-2012, 07:48 PM   #6  
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Mourning is ok, there is a sense of loss, but in it's place there are also new opportunities. Life outside the norm is still a life worth living. My daughter is 5 with cerebral palsy. It is the hardest thing I've ever done, the most rewarding as well. I was blessed that I never minded it, I was happy to accept the situation, I've always been proud of her and not willing to hide it. My friend says it takes a special mom to raise a special child, I think of that when things are hard.
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