Living Maintenance - Back me up please




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StephMar
11-27-2012, 01:16 PM
I am Stephanie and I'm struggling with something that I could use some help on. After getting to my original goal of dropping from 198 to 158, I decided to go for a few more pounds and make my goal 148. But realistically anything under 150 should be good for me.

I have been in the 148 range for weeks now but haven't considered myself as reaching my goal because I haven't hit 148 exactly. Even though I changed my goal to under 150. I've been 148.2, 148.8, 148.6 etc but not 148 on the nose. I've been telling myself that this should be good enough since I feel great and have gone from size 18 to being comfortable in size 8. I should not be obsessing about reaching an exact number when I'm not sure I have a whole lot of fat left to lose, Excess skin, yeah. But fat, no.

So I think I'm looking for someone to tell me that I'm being silly in wanting to lose EXACTLY 50 pounds and hitting some randomly assigned number when I'm really ready for maintenance and moving on.


EagleRiverDee
11-27-2012, 01:45 PM
I think many times goal oriented people (and you definitely seem to fall in that category) get hung up on a number. You know intuitively that you're there. But you want to see it on the scale. I'd say if it's important to you, go for it. Otherwise give yourself a stern talking to and stop obsessing. I mean that in a friendly way- I'm a bit obsessive myself so I can see being the same way when I get close to my own goal.

JayEll
11-27-2012, 01:59 PM
Stop obsessing and move on. You'll have plenty to deal with in maintenance. ;)


masterptr
11-27-2012, 02:09 PM
Stop obsessing and move on. You'll have plenty to deal with in maintenance. ;)

I second that!

ICUwishing
11-27-2012, 02:34 PM
I get it; I have a perpetual little nagging voice to go for 30 lost, a mere 2-3 pounds away. It's been almost 3 years now and while I don't use the word "goal", I do say I'm maintaining my 25 pound loss very successfully! :D.

StephMar
11-27-2012, 02:46 PM
Congrats on maintaining. I wonder it I'm not ready to say I reached my goal because I'm terrified of maintenance. Don't know why because I don't have any plans to change the way I'm eating now. South Beach is working well for me and I eat more than I used to when I wasn't dieting. I guess I've never really hit a goal before. Something always happened to derail me. Thanks for the input everyone.

CherryPie99
11-27-2012, 03:13 PM
Boy, I totally know where you are coming from!! My original goal was 150. Then I dropped it to 130. Then I got down to 125 and my husband and other people wanted me to stop losing, even though with my height, 125 was towards the higher end BMI.

So I made a deal with them to get to 119 and then I would stop. But when I got to 119, I started seeing other people - like on here - who were taller and yet were my weight and I started to doubt myself.

So I decided I wanted to go lower and, for the first time in my entire journey, my husband got really upset with me.

What helped me is that I went and saw a registered dietician. She and I had a long talk and she told me that maintaining from 115-120 is absolutely perfect. I know it sounds so silly to say that having a professional tell me I am okay was what did it for me, but that totally settled me down.

Although, if I'm being honest, there are days that I would like to see 114 - so that it's an even 230 pounds lost rather then 228!! But I also am a runner and will NEVER run anything but even distances. Like I will run past my destination if my GPS watch says 5.89 in order to get to 6 even. A little OCD-ish, I know.

Jen

StephMar
11-27-2012, 04:34 PM
Definitely a little OCD going on with me in this regard as well. Jen, you look awesome and it really helps to know that you are dealing with the same thing. Even though you lost so much, it's still not enough until it's an even number. How crazy are we? :dizzy:

bargoo
11-27-2012, 06:03 PM
I know exactly what you mean. 120 is a good goal weight for me and I have attained that, but my secret goal is 114, that is strictly an ego thing. I do not look any different at 114 as I do at 120 , I do not change sizes it is vanity pure and simple. You see when I am at 114 I have lost 90 pounds, when I am at 120 I have only lost 84, I know it is crazy, I admit it.

saef
11-27-2012, 10:15 PM
Twice I've lost a tremendous amount of weight. This is the second time, and this time, having learned some things, I've been a lot more physically healthy and somewhat more mentally balanced, or at least aware of the hazard of going crazy over the weight loss thing.

The first time that I lost over 100 pounds, I never really went into maintenance. I just kept losing, believing a few more pounds would take care of this or that particular unsatisfactory body part. When I was at 125, I wanted to be 120. When I hit 115, I wanted to drop 10 more. When I hit 103, I was trying to get below 100. At that point, of course, I had full-blown anorexia. Except I failed at being an anorectic because I started bingeing, and then restricting and overexercising to work off the binges, and therefore involuntarily went back up 125, and oh, it's a long story ... but anyway ... what I learned is that no particular number will ever satisfy me, because I keep moving the goal posts. Because a number isn't what satisfies. I have to engage in some self-interrogation, and ask myself to answer a hard question: I would be satisfied with ... In my answer, I forbid myself to mention a number on the scale. Then I have to look at my life, rather than my weight and appearance, and start talking about quality of life issues.

And of course, I have never held consistently to the same weight every. single. week. If I did, I'd be certain my scale was broken. There's always a variance of a few pounds. To want to be absolutely immovable at a single weight under all conditions ... there also lies madness. Even swearing that you will devote your life to just a three-pound variance ... who in the world can do that? And what are you willing to give up to be able to do that? What would your negotiation with yourself be?

The scale & the weight are not completely scientific. They are a metaphor for what it will take to make you happy about yourself. So what is that? And don't use a specific number. Say what is. Really.

RedPanda
11-30-2012, 02:07 PM
The scale & the weight are not completely scientific. They are a metaphor for what it will take to make you happy about yourself. So what is that? And don't use a specific number. Say what is. Really.

Great post saef!

You're one very smart lady. :)

StephMar
11-30-2012, 02:39 PM
So as usual, if I would have held my rant off a few days I wouldn't have needed to do it. After 2 consecutive days of weighing 147, I proclaim myself as having reached my goal weight. My plan is to continue to weigh daily so I can make sure I don't start creeping up again but I'm not going to chart it anymore. If I near 149 I will rein things in. Thanks all for the support when I needed it.

RedPanda
11-30-2012, 03:32 PM
After 2 consecutive days of weighing 147, I proclaim myself as having reached my goal weight.

Yay! :carrot:

You sound like you've arrived at a good place - maintenance without obsession.

We all know how hard it is to keep our head straight about these things. After all, if we had practised moderation we wouldn't have had a weight problem in the first place.

Mudpie
12-01-2012, 06:14 AM
Yay! :carrot:

You sound like you've arrived at a good place - maintenance without obsession.

We all know how hard it is to keep our head straight about these things. After all, if we had practised moderation we wouldn't have had a weight problem in the first place.

RedPanda another smart lady! We seem to have quite a few of you on our forum. Good thing!

Dagmar :dizzy:

Babybat
12-01-2012, 06:50 AM
Lose as much as you want, a few pounds isn't going to make or break you but if you want to, do it.

It's not silly :D