Living Maintenance - Panic attacks anyone?

View Full Version : Panic attacks anyone?

11-26-2012, 01:38 AM
Okay, I'm not in maintenance. I'm not even close to maintenance (of my final weight anyway), and I've been steadily gaining back some of the weight I'd lost over the last 18 months. My lowest weight was 157 and right now I'm hovering around 175-178 (hoping the later is PMS). I know some is muscle and I am thinner (pant size wise) than I was the last time I was at this weight, but the scale is definitely going in the wrong direction. 20lbs is a lot!

My question is, does anybody have serious anxiety over gaining the weight back? Maybe I didn't feel in control enough of what my body was doing when the weight was coming off or because, in my efforts to get the last bit of weight off, I ended up regaining a good chunk of it I don't feel like I'm in control anymore, but I'm freaking out...

Okay, this post is rambly, but you get the idea. How do I have confidence that I will be able to keep the weight off and get back to where I was? I would give anything to be back where I was right now. How do you stop from psyching yourself out or remembering how things were before?

I feel like this mental state isn't helping my weight loss efforts.

Oh and I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to post!

11-26-2012, 02:04 PM
Please consider posting this in the Living Maintenance section. It's a great question, but people aren't going to notice it in the library section.

11-26-2012, 02:12 PM
I went ahead and moved it.

11-26-2012, 02:34 PM
gymrat05, do you know what changed when you started to gain again? Tell us more.

11-26-2012, 04:15 PM
I feel anxiety about regaining the weight, but not at panic attack levels. I do suffer from panic attacks, but my triggers are generally a feeling of being trapped. General anxiety such as that triggered by a fear of regaining is more manageable for me. I generally will try to channel that into action. Such as, if I fear regaining weight I use that as motivation to monitor my diet and to not skip my exercise.

11-27-2012, 02:40 AM
Thank you to mandallin82 who moved my post! I don't know how I ended up posting it in the library - my bad! Sorry!

JayEll - it just started happening recently. I honestly don't know why the weight gain restarted. I was still trying to lose weight in the mid-high 150s but I wasn't really unhappy at that weight. I was actively trying to lose but I felt comfortable there. I maintained at that weight for over a year before I started to gain.

In late March 2011 I went on vacation for a few days. Weight was around 158. Ate lots, ate out every meal, weight fluctuated a pound of two and settled right back down.

In late April 2011 the family and I went to Disney World. Ate a lot again, worked out a few times, walked a good bit. Was around 158 again when I went on vacation and hit a high weight (while there) of around 164. By late May 2011 (my birthday) I was back to 160.

By late June (back into my regular routine) I was 168.

I tried the paleo diet a few times since counting calories wasn't helping. Got back down to 164 in early January of this year and was about 163-165 right before my last half marathon early May 2012.

Tried to do paleo again. Up to 168. Counted calories. Weight stabilizes. Cut back on grains again because I'm feeling blegh at 168 and I lose a few pounds and then gain a lot more. Right now I'm hovering between 175-178.

For workouts it's been running mostly. I did CrossFit from late 2010 to early 2012. Had no effect on my weight for the first 8ish months so I don't think it was the workouts. Quit in March 2012 and did at home workout DVDs and still nothing.

My body is driving me sooooo nuts. I don't even know what's going on. If anyone has any insight I'd be so obliged. The fact that I can't control it is so frustrating because I'm so paranoid it will just keep getting worse.

I always thought if I gained a few pounds I would know how to get it off again but now I'm having doubts. *sigh*

Okay, rant over.

11-27-2012, 05:47 PM
Hey gymrat05,

I wish I had some good news for you--but the fact is that most people who lose weight, gain it back. The number varies a lot depending on the source, but I think it's around 80% within a couple of years. We all think we're going to be different! I know I did. I was sure I would not regain! But, I have regained most of what I lost back in 2007.

Looking at what you wrote, I don't think it's mysterious why you are gaining. I could have written your story because a similar thing happened to me, including the vacations. But I don't want to go into my story.

What has happened, I think, is that you're off your food program. You're eating more than you think you are, and you're eating foods that will cause weight gain--and then you "forget" how much and what you ate. You may also not be exercising as consistently as you used to.

I don't believe that the answer is for you to do anything drastic. Pushing yourself back onto a highly restrictive diet and exercising all the time is very likely not going to work.

I'm still struggling with this. After years of fighting my weight, trying to make what used to work work again--and failing--I've decided that I have to find a way of eating and exercising that fits with my life as I want to live it. This is different from choosing a plan that I think I can stand with gritted teeth until I get my weight to some number.

If all someone is willing or able to do is go for a 1-mile walk every day, then they should commit to that! As for the food part of it, I think most of us here know perfectly well which foods we should be eating and which we should be avoiding a lot of the time. I don't give up whole food groups--I never thought that was a good idea--but also, I can't live in a world of too much restriction. MODERATION is what I'm aiming for.

Will this lead to weight loss? I don't know. My weight is stable at the moment, so I guess I'm "maintaining"--but it's not an ideal weight for me. I am hoping that if I consistently follow my moderation plan, things will start eventually to change.

I don't know if this helps or not--but I hope you know that you're not alone.


11-27-2012, 11:29 PM
Believe it or not this actually makes me feel better. I know it's very common to regain the weight but keeping it off for over a year with relative ease made me think it wasn't going to be an issue for me. I even went on a few vacations and kept my weight down. No calorie counting (although I always had a general calorie amount in mind), a few glasses of wine when I felt like it, a dinner out, etc. It was great. I didn't realize that at the time. I was just frustrated I had plateaued and thought I needed to get more extreme.

Exercise is something I usually am pretty good about. I run. I lift weights. Sure, some weeks are better than others, but very rarely do I get less than 4 hours a week (now closer to 6 or 7 or intense exercise).

Why this makes me feel better is the fact that I'm doing something wrong. If I'm doing something wrong that means I have some control in this. That's all I want. That's why I'm panicking so much. I want my control back if that makes sense? I want to know that if I get my s*** together I can start losing again.

I reloaded all these old Jillian Michaels podcasts onto my iPhone again. I lost weight listening to those podcasts religiously and following her workout program/calorie program. I'm just looking for some sign that I'm back on the right track.

Thanks for your response. I know it's tough and not an easy thing to admit and I appreciate seeing all these lifetime maintainers still actively working to keep the weight off.