this thread was inspired by something hazel wrote in her journal... that in other forums she's involved in most of the posts are very positive, and few people post the negatives about this surgery. few people post about the struggle we all have every day.
so, this is it. a share the pain, the day to day reality thread.
what have i struggled with? at first, it was eating anything. forcing food down. having it come up. eating something that stayed down one day and up the next.
the complete fear of screwing this up. after all, this is absolutely a last resort. and there are people who gain all their weight back. was it something they did or didn't do? is it anything that i can control? i still don't have an answer to that. all i have is assurances from my mentor, who had the surgery about 6 years ago and looks and feels fabulous.
and then, things went pretty well... until about a month ago, when i discovered that carbs are staying down!!! THEY DIDN'T FOR SUCH A LONG TIME!!! HOW DARE THEY???? and i'm able to eat two cookies or 4 bites of a brownie and not get sick. does this mean i'm doomed to gain all my weight back? or am i finally eating 'correctly'? like 'normal' people?
and then yesterday hit. a day in which i ate 2 servings of pretzels, a couple of crackers, 4 pieces of chocolate, and not nearly enough protein. and i was stress eating,. not in control at all.
am i doomed? or did the half hour of the bike to nowhere and an hour long hike save me? is it only temporary?
today was better, despite the 4 bites of brownie. i'm on track with protein, and water.
i have until the end of the year to lose the last 40 pounds or so, and the weight loss has slowed dramatically. can i make it? can i make it?
04-27-2003, 09:08 AM
yep... forgot a few more things ...
i now officially have a 'delicate stomach.' something i never thought possible. eating when stressed doesn't happen. nope. not at all. can't get it down. can't keep it down.
now, boredom eating is a different matter. and it's a daily battle at work [not at home ... is there a message in that????]
and more about CARBS!!!! life was so much easier when they wouldn't stay down. or tasted bad. really. pasta is/was disgusting, adn this from a nice italian girl. but NOW... they're staying down. and not tasting quite so bad.
and it's not time for me to be eating them in any great quantities.
ok. i'll stop now, before this turns into my own journal... i KNOW there are more of you out there dealing with all this... and thinking about it.
04-28-2003, 07:24 AM
jiff wanted you to know I will be adding to this.......your not alone. I just need to get my thoughts in order. It's to early to think right now :D
04-28-2003, 08:40 AM
Good idea, Jiff. I was beginning to think you walked on water! :lol:
~~~~~~~~~~running madly off in all directions ~~~~~~~
04-28-2003, 01:58 PM
John has not had a problem with ANY food! He can eat anything he wants, and it worries me A LOT! Pizza, Cookies, Popcorn, no problem keeping them down.
On the positive note, he is still losing weight. He is way above what they expected him to be at (or would that be way below?!). I try not to nag him about it as it is his battle, not mine.
He is also much more active now. He even bought a new bike over the week end and is making a point to exercise.
I think this is really the point you must learn to live like everyone else. We all battle weight gain. We just have to keep it in control, if you know you ate more, exercise more. Cut back the next day, DO NOT beat yourself up about it. You can not change yesterday, try and do better today!
04-28-2003, 02:28 PM
I am very much like John. I'm about 7 weeks out and can tolerate almost anything except milk. I haven't tried salads yet, tho. I even took a bite of steak and it was great. I am making conscience decisions about food every time I put some in my mouth. I keep telling myself this is for life. This is different from all the other weight loss plans. I didn't take these drastic measures just to fail again.
The good news is I'm down 50 lbs. so far and pizza disgusts me!
04-28-2003, 03:29 PM
Jif, I noticed the same thing in Hazel's journal. I even mentioned it to her in a pm.
It's so easy to go to web pages and look at before and after photos and not consider all that went on between the two. For someone like me, who's just beginning the journey, it's very helpful and informative to read about the reality of WLS.
My huge fear is that, like Jif said, it's pretty much a last resort. What if it doesn't work? My mom had WLS 22 years ago and it didn't work. She's always been convinced that they did something wrong, but lately we've been talking about it and she's thinking it was more than that. She thinks emotional issues and abuse in her past had a lot to do with it and is encouraging me to explore my own life and make sure there aren't barriers like that for me too. For the life of me, I can't come up with any, but what if I'm in denial or something? I saw how much pain she was in and how little she could eat - all for nothing. I can't think about having surgery without also thinking about what happened to her.
So there's my concern. Eek!
04-28-2003, 04:16 PM
just a quickie here...
chickadee dee dee... you're so right! that emotional eating thing is NO MORE with this. so it's best to conquer [or cage?] those food demons beforehand. it's hard enough afterwards without that emotional eating. and boredom eating. any kind of eating other than you're hungry eating. and by hungry, we're now talking 'i'm gonna pass out' kind of hunger, not the 'hmmmm. i think i want something to eat' kind of hunger.
there used to be [maybe there still is!] an obesity clinic for women whose ads ran something like: it's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you.
and so far today, i've done pretty well.. a total of one serving of carb [pretzels, 1 tbs rice, 1 melba toast round], 65 grams or so of protein, salad, zucchini, pineapple [which made me a little woozy, a sign of dumping], red peppers.
gotta go... work disaster brewing. more later.
and a reminder to me: write about the need for self-care. big issue. quite a change.
ok. now that you are ALL wondering what i'm talking about, it'll just have to wait! sorry!!!
04-28-2003, 07:26 PM
Well you'v all already heard my cry about ole Alvin and his eating habits. He did great for the first 3 months. He only ate measured amounts, drank his protein drink regiously every morning, NO Carbs, didn't even try them. He threw up some, but not too terribly often, he really had a problem with meats of any kind.
Three months and about 20 days later he woke up in terrible pain and to make a long story short his pouch had burst and his whole abdominal cavity was filled with"junk" and they did not expect him to live.
After he was released from the hospital, he has done everything wrong! As I've said before he practially lives on mashed potatoes, and his two main other meals are pizza or nachos! He even drank colas while we were on vacation and I almost had a heartattack over that. I guess he feels a little like I did when I first got out of the hospital with my mascetomy (back before they had even heard of reconstruction) I had spent all 28 years of my life living a "clean, GODLY (never missed a church service even Sunday and Wed nights) So I spent the next year cussing drinking and not going to church. Well one day I realized that that's not what I wanted to do anymore, and now I'm back to the "good" me. Anyway, he feels like he followed all the rules and it almost killed him.
But on the bright side, he has lost 220 pounds of course he lost almost that much about 12 years ago on the Medfast thingy. Anyway he looks great, feels great, and continues to work out with a trainer 3 x a week, is playing golf again, and actually has a life again. As Diane said, this is his battle and all I can do is sit on the sidelines and make snide comments every now an then.
Although he does not regret having the surgery, he will never recommend it to anyone. I was planning on getting it done myself after he was healed, but he won't even talk about it with me. He's scared, I know.
Anyway it's not all peaches and cream, but for him, and you Jiff and many others, it is the ONLY way. For the rest of us, like me, who has no physical problems, and just wants to lose weight to look better, and prevent future health problems, it may not be the answer.
04-29-2003, 08:10 AM
Boredom eating..........that's me!! Hazel and I were talking about this yesterday while we mall walked :D If I'm out of the house, eating never enters my mind.......but when I'm home, I find myself sticking my head in the frig. I'm not hungry, just bored. I can eat ANYTHING, nothing bothers me........which is a blessing and a curse.
My weight is stalled.......there I said it.........not from a plateau, but from things I'm doing wrong. I have finally started to make changes to move the stall, but I really think I need some head help.
04-29-2003, 11:59 AM
Platau... DANG IT! ! !
I'm at a standstill, and know I need to get off my butt, but I can't do it until the weather clears up. This Northwest Rainy Weather sucks. I feel sad when it rains.
But, we went away this weekend and it was gorgeous and everyday I was out walking. While there I came up with the determination to walk, even if it's just a mile down the 'back 40' to the berry fields, and back. (too bad it's not berry season).
I've been using my T.O.M. as a crutch too. My excuse for that peice of chocolate. It does make me feel better, but not when I don't lose weight. Damned if I do, damned if I don't kinda thing.
Okay, there's my good bad and ugly *sigh*. Gonna jump off this platau cliff TODAY! ! !
04-29-2003, 01:11 PM
Boredom eating..........that's me!! Hazel and I were talking about this yesterday while we mall walked If I'm out of the house, eating never enters my mind.......but when I'm home, I find myself sticking my head in the frig. I'm not hungry, just bored.
Hi, my name is Diane, and I too am a boredom eater!
What I find worse is that I do all the shopping. I know what is behind those doors! As I sit there, my mind starts to wonder to food. I'm so glad that it is getting nice outside, when I'm outside, my mind does not think about food!
05-01-2003, 08:58 AM
I am so proud that I inspired a post!!
One of the "bad and the ugly" things for me is that I am doing everything right and got on the scale and gained 3 lbs. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT????
And the worst part is when I told one of my friends (a skinny girl) she says "What are you eating"??? I was sooo pissed. I said I am eating the same things that helped me to lose weight in the first place!
But what made me mad it the perception that I MUST be cheating or doing something wrong.
And then as if my day was not going bad enough, a guy from my support group posts that he has lost 110 since surgery and we had surgery the same time. I was at -42 now at -39. Thank God I had Debbie that I could call and she talked me down out of the trees!
I think that mentally this surgery is much harder than I thought it would be,because for me this was the last resort. When I am losing weight I never second guess what I am eating, I know that what I am doing are the right things. But let that scale go in the wrong direction and bam I think am I eating too much, am I the ONE that this is not going to work on??? It will drive you crazy.
I am done rambling, Oh yeah and I am just as guilty as the rest, I never have the courage to post when I am down. That is why I have been away for a few days.
05-08-2003, 03:51 PM
For me one the worst things is actually REALLY having to watch everything that goes in my mouth. I was under the serious misconception that I would have this surgery and just eat LESS of everything or anything I wanted. Boy was I wrong. You still have to watch what you eat. Protein drinks, don't even get me started on those. I am still on a mission to find one I can drink without throwing up. I just ordered some of the Nectar drinks, hearing WONDERFUL things about those.. Carbs go down WAY to easy although, thank GOD, one of my favorite foods in the world, ice cream, makes me sick as a DOG. I just wish MORE stuff did, then I wouldn't wanna eat it. Skin, Skin, Skin. That is one thing I don't even like to think about, much less talk about, but I need damn near every part of me lifted or tucked and I still have 50 more pounds to loose! LOL
05-10-2003, 09:31 AM
too bad it tastes so good!!!!
OK. I can actually eat a tablespoon of ice cream. and occasionally, i've managed 1/4 cup. and felt really sick afterwards. but it tasted so good that i decided that if i had it JUST before i went to bed, i'd just go to sleep and it would all be gone in the morning,.
well, that worked a couple of times, just enough to make me think i had licked the problem [not the cone, get it???? sorry. that was a bad one].
WRONG WRONG WRONG:nono: :nono: :nono:
i tried this one day this week, and when i woke up, I WAS SOOO DIZZY THAT I HAD TO LIE DOWN AGAIN!!!!
yep... it caught up with me. i'd like to say that i'll never do this again, but i can't.
05-10-2003, 09:37 AM
strawberries and almonds (see my post on the daily about strawberries :D)
ate too many strawberries and smoked almonds yesterday......both are good foods just not as much as I ate.
I paid for it........sorry so graphic......but I have had to go potty too many times to count. I think it's more the almonds than the berries. Nuts have always bothered me, but I love them so.
Moderation, moderation, moderation.......this fat girl, food-aholic......still has trouble with moderation.
Yesterday was the first day in a couple of weeks I have overeaten.......yes, you can overeat after wls!! You do that by grazing......I was great all morning, but grazed all afternoon on nuts and berries. :rolleyes:
05-13-2003, 02:24 AM
You know what? As I'm reading all of your posts, the first thing that comes to mind, (other than being afraid of failing!), is any nay-sayers who ever said having WLS was the *easy way* should only know the half of it!
05-15-2003, 09:49 PM
05-17-2004, 10:34 PM
05-18-2004, 09:15 AM
I have invested in a balance log program to track my intake. Ever since surgery, I have had no foods that didn't agree with me. I have not tried sugar, or any sweets. I did try a few sugarfree ice creams, (Butter Pecan is my fav) I have only dumped once after eating too many carrots that did not fit into my new tummy.
It scares me that I have not dumped more often, or that I can eat most foods without any problems. Hence I bought the program to track the number of calories, carbs, fats and protein I am eating in a day. THIS IS A LIFELONG JOB, TO TRACK WHAT I EAT, AND EXCERCISE .
05-19-2004, 12:30 AM
It is called balance Log, made my Healthe Tech, you can read about it at Healthe Tech online store. HealtheTech.com