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Originally Posted by CherokeePlaza
Things have changed drastically over the last few months that has me wondering if it isn't possibly related to my weight. My boyfriend is an alcoholic (a fact I didn't know until after I was head over heels in love with him) and approximately 2 1/2 months ago began working AA and stopped drinking completely. Almost immediately, he was no longer interested in me sexually, or at least that's the way it seems. He swears that it has nothing to do with my weight and that he is still sexually attracted to me and loves me more every day. I just fail to understand how a 31 year old man can suddenly no longer be interested in having sex with someone he claims to be in love with.
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Alcohol withdrawal can caue erectile dysfunction. Your bf may have all the interest in the world, but be unable to do anything about it (he may be feigning disinterest to cover for inability).
Also, itt's absolutely a myth that all men of a certain age (or of any age really) want sex all the time. Sex drive is just as variable in men as in women. Some men/women want sex all the time, others rarely or never. Sometimes hormonal issues are involved, sometimes the explanation isn't so easily determined.
My husband is 5 years younger than I am, and when we met I was 35 and he was 30. And I've always had the much stronger sex drive (so I was usually the one doing all the initiating) but he was reasonably interested in following through on whatever I started, so to speak.
Normally, we're fairly well matched except when we're under stress.
My husband's sex drive DRAMATICALLY decreases whenever he is under any kind of stress, and mine dramatically INCREASES. So in stressful situations for us both, we become horrendously mismatched.
When my husband is having any kind of stress or discomfort, sex is the last thing on his mind. So when he's trying to quit smoking, when he's dieting, when his family is giving him grief, when his pain is aggravated by the cold weather... it all affects his sex drive for the worse. (I also have pain issues that can prevent "activities" but I want hubby to want sex, anyway - even if it's not possible for either of us. He doesn't understand that at all, and thinks I'm nuts).
We're both dieting right now, so that's quite a bit of stress on the body and the mind. The human body treats all change (even positive ones) as stress.
So his sex drive plummets and mine skyrockets - not a good combination.
Luckily, we both take it in good humor, but it is frustrating (no pun intended).
Sex drives aren't always predictable.
I'd encourage you to be patient, as once your bf's body gets used to the changes, his sex drive probably will rebound.