First of all, I don't know if you are seeing a psychiatrist but I would recommend you see a licensed profession to address your issues. Second of all congratulations on getting into the 140's, that is an AMAZING accomplishment!. That being said the thing I would most recommend is so take things one at a time. You listed a whole bunch of issues, but let's break it down. I assume that your career and being there emotionally for your parents is at the top of your list. It seems to me (sorry but I have to make assumptions in order to try and help - let me know if i'm right) like these responsibilities are causing you fear and depression. This same energy that you are channeling into fear and depression you can channel into doing something productive. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel sad over your experiences, but for example, when you feel a negative emotion, put that energy into doing something extra for your parents as opposed to eating. I know that my troubles don't come near to yours, but let me give you an example from my own life of "channeling negative emotion." I am also depressed because I got married in college and neither my husband or I can find a job. Both our parents and my grandparents are supporting us but we both still feel shame at having to accept this money. It started getting very hard for me to diet because I felt so upset about this all the time...until one day when I realized that doing things for my mom made me feel better. I love my mom and would have spent time with her no matter what but I started to do little things that I would not have even thought to do otherwise like helping her organize her house (it is VERY cluttered and she is terrible at organization), helping her drive carpool or cooking dinner for the family some nights (she also hates to cook and loves my cooking). Once I channeled my negative energy into something productive I felt MUCH better about my situation. Also, don't be afraid to do something for yourself once in a while. You are only 20, despite what your parents are going through you need to also take care of your own happiness because being happy is part of being a healthy person. Again I don't mean to sound insensitive and I do not know what it is like to have a parent diagnosed with cancer, but it just seems to me that when your depression is affecting your daily life it is something that really needs to be worked on. I hope this helps, please let me know how things turn out and I wish you all the best
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