40-Somethings - Visualizing Gaining it all Back...




guacamole
11-04-2012, 11:00 AM
Is this a helpful method to get back on track or stay on track when your motivation is wavering? Of course, positive visualizations are always motivational - fitting into that smaller size dress or pair of jeans, wearing a bathing suit on a sunny beach, looking like a princess in a wedding gown, picturing people pleasantly surprised at your slimmer figure, etc. However, what about when those positive images don't seem to get your rear in gear anymore? Does imagining the worst provide motivation for you?

Imagine seeing friends and family who last saw you when you had dropped a significant amount of weight. Now you have put the pounds back on plus some additional "friends." How will people react? I have a wedding to go to next year, and I imagine how I will feel if I have to shop for a dress as a plus size gal again. I have been there done that before, and it was horrible.

The bride has a specific color and dress length she wants everyone to wear, and I picture having to look for a needle in a haystack for a dress that fits the requirements in a size 18/20. I picture how it will feel to be the fattest member of the bridal party. I picture not wanting to be in any photos and feeling mortified that my heavy image will be forever recorded for posterity. I picture the looks on everyone's faces when they see that I have piled the pounds back on, shortly after they were just getting used to the thin me revealed over the summer. I picture being in the background listening to all of the other thin bridesmaids getting compliments while no one says anything to me. I picture feeling uncomfortable during the long hours of the wedding and pictures, tied up in a girdle/SPANX, that don't even hide my large stomach and hips. I picture having to use the jaws of life to undo myself to go to the bathroom during the wedding because of the dress and all the foundation undergarments I will have to wear. I picture sweating my makeup off and being unable to dance for very long due to being short of breath and my feet/ankles swelling. I have experienced every single one of these things at past events when I was obese, and I NEVER want to have to experience them again!! I hope these memories and foreshadowings are enough to keep me on track.

Sorry to be depressing, but I am just trying to play around with various methods of motivation to stay on plan and never give up.


Moving Forward
11-04-2012, 12:33 PM
Hi Guacamole-I definitely believe in the power of positive thinking. I think it is always better to think kind thoughts to ourselves, to encourage and praise ourselves to get where we want to be. If we visualize the bad, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and lead us by fear, which only clouds judgement. Think of the skinny you shopping for that dress, picking between your favorite options, admiring how you look in the dressing room mirror!

twinieten
11-04-2012, 01:34 PM
That can be very powerful motivation and probably could be a more important tool once goal is reached and maintained. Right now, we have our NSVs and our moments of seeing people we haven't seen in awhile who are so impressed, and we see photographs where we compare ourselves to earlier pictures and feel pleased.... We have so many moments that push us forward and keep us going just one more day.

At some point in the near or far future, that's going to be gone. Everyone will have seen us. We'll be wearing the same skinny jeans we wore last year, or the year before. There will be no more closet shopping. No more compliments on a recent loss. After we've reached goal and maintained, what do we have?

We have that negative reinforcement, and it could work. We have the memory of losses and gains and how it feels and how we looked.... I don't want to do that ever again! It could be the thought that compels me to put the donut down!


kelijpa
11-04-2012, 09:20 PM
I think it is healthy to be realistic about the possibility. Especially if it helps you to stay on your program.

I guess I would say, if you look at it as one of a number of possibilities, not inevitable, it could be a motivator. I think it's healthier to acknowledge that we are vulnerable to temptation and not "cured" of being overweight when we lose and to try and maintain a healthy liveable lifestyle rather than a "diet".

good thought provoking thread...thanks
:sunny:

newleaf123
11-07-2012, 08:46 PM
I don't know... this seems like a slippery slope to me; in my head, negative self-talk isn't healthy. Maybe you can put a positive spin on it by telling yourself, "I WILL NOT -- insert negative aspect here --." That way you are focusing on your power and strength, and not building what seems like it could become an image of self-loathing in your mind.

I've been at a standstill the last couple of weeks, no exercise, not really paying a lot of heed toward eating. But I am telling myself "I WANT my wedding rings to continue to slip on easily. I WILL NOT ever buy something size XL again. I LIKE waking up in the morning and being able to jump out of bed without my ankles hurting. etc"

I don't know... maybe its semantics? We're pretty much doing the same thing LOL

kelijpa
11-07-2012, 09:17 PM
Newleaf, I agree with not being negative about it, just realistic, like I will live a healthy lifestyle because I know what could happen if I slip into an unhealthy lifestyle.

If you can keep in mind the good things you want, like you say the way your ring fits, the way you can get out of bed without struggling, that can pull you through these times, I don't know what you'd call it, when you need to take a break, but know you want to get back to your program/lifestyle.

When you're ready to get back to it, you will also have the added good thoughts of how much better you did this time than other times when you may have really backslid. Well I'm speaking of my experience, maybe you haven't backslid like I have :D hope not for your sake :goodvibes

:sunny:

newleaf123
11-08-2012, 09:42 AM
Newleaf, I agree with not being negative about it, just realistic, like I will live a healthy lifestyle because I know what could happen if I slip into an unhealthy lifestyle.

If you can keep in mind the good things you want, like you say the way your ring fits, the way you can get out of bed without struggling, that can pull you through these times, I don't know what you'd call it, when you need to take a break, but know you want to get back to your program/lifestyle.

When you're ready to get back to it, you will also have the added good thoughts of how much better you did this time than other times when you may have really backslid. Well I'm speaking of my experience, maybe you haven't backslid like I have :D hope not for your sake :goodvibes

:sunny:

Oh, yeah, I've backslid, too. Like Guacamole says, I just can't do it again. This HAS to be my last trip down the scale... My little hiatus, which included Halloween and a 4-dAy trip with the family, has left me up 3 pounds. I'm back on track as of yesterday. It is amazing and frightening how quickly the weight can come piling back. Yesterday, I was up 5 pounds but 2 must have been water (gone today).

kelijpa
11-08-2012, 07:11 PM
I feel the same way this is THE last time!
:goodvibes

alaskanlaughter
11-12-2012, 02:03 AM
i use alot of that same "fear" motivation...perhaps thats not the right word...but ive had enough of being heavy and the things that go along with it...while i'm not exactly "skinny" right now, i'm also the smallest i've ever been and i DO NOT want to gain back up to where i was...that fear, of gaining it all back, has been enough to stop me in my tracks when i land face first in the halloween candy etc...i gave the rest away, threw some out, and started fresh after a couple days of FAR too much candy lol

guacamole
11-12-2012, 11:42 AM
I know that we are all worth taking it off and keeping it off. I think we need to love ourselves enough to not get derailed. It occurred to me that junk food and binging are like an abusive boyfriend (no offense intended and not trying to make light of abuse) - "Just take me back one more time, baby! I promise this will be the last time I ever treat you badly again, you'll see!" But once you open the door to let all of that toxic mess back into your life, the cycle repeats again and again.

kelijpa
11-13-2012, 05:48 PM
As you say Guac, not to make light, but you make a good point, just take me back one more time...

KateB
11-13-2012, 05:55 PM
Ughhh....I have been on both sides of the fence, or scale as the case may be. And I KNOW that visualizing (thinging worrying) about the worst DOES NOT work for me. Not only with weight loss but with just about every other aspect of my life.

Stripes 237
11-18-2012, 06:43 AM
I am in a size 18...and happy to be here. I was THRILLED to hit 18 again. I am looking forward to wearing XL clothes next.

It was a little depressing to read the thread and see people thinking about the things like being size 18 or wearing an XL as nightmares worse than death, lol.

So, just add that to your list. You don't want to rad about other people being afraid to be...you. :)

And you don't want to start all over. That's how I keep going. It's been hard to lose the weight and if I gained it back, all that work would have been for nothing...and I'd have to go through it again. No, thank you. :)

guacamole
11-18-2012, 08:01 AM
Stripes - you make a good point, but remember that we all start at different places and have our own personal version of a high weight. I have read numerous threads from women whose high weight is my current weight. They were never in a size larger than 10/12, yet for them, they were not at their personal best. Being in the 150s was their version of fat and they worked just as hard as I did to get their weight down to be their personal best. We all are on different journeys but they are no less daunting.

kelijpa
11-18-2012, 09:02 AM
Stripes - if I said anything to offend or hurt your feelings, I sincerely apologize, my comments are meant for me personally, I'm sure I will pause to consider your comments before I post size or numbers in the future. Congrats on your success!!!

Guac - it is amazing how many different types and sizes of people are on this forum, I've been amazed at some of the people so much taller and lighter than me that weigh much less that are still working to lose more weight, it gives me a nudge, I'm inspired by people with much bigger challenges than I have who show amazing strength and will when I am struggling with my strength and will, also gives me a nudge.

Thank goodness for 3FC!
:sunny:

newleaf123
11-18-2012, 10:00 AM
It was a little depressing to read the thread and see people thinking about the things like being size 18 or wearing an XL as nightmares worse than death, lol.


Oh, Stripes, I'm so sorry. I was the one who posted about the XL... Trust me, I've endured health nightmares, totally unrelated to weight... wearing an XL top doesn't even register on that radar... Thank you for reminding me of perspective...

twinieten
11-18-2012, 11:14 AM
.....remember that we all start at different places and have our own personal version of a high weight. I have read numerous threads from women whose high weight is my current weight. They were never in a size larger than 10/12, yet for them, they were not at their personal best. Being in the 150s was their version of fat and they worked just as hard as I did to get their weight down to be their personal best. We all are on different journeys but they are no less daunting.

It's true! I was going through my bag of skinny clothes just the other day. Let me emphasize skinny clothes. There's one pair of jeans in that bag that still are too small for me that I remember buying and crying because I had gained weight and I was so fat! I can remember crying over getting married "fat"...I was about the weight I am at now, and I think I look great now. I have two pair of jeans, one pair that I'm wearing and one pair that are now too big. I can remember straining to pull up these jeans until the belt loops broke, and crying all the while because I had gotten so fat. Now, after visiting size 16, I can't imagine how I could have possibly thought a 9 or a 12 was fat. But it was for me, at the time.

It's all about perception and it's amazing how our perceptions can change based on where we are, and where we were. And of course, perceptions differ from person to person. My ideal is someone else's fat, and my fat is another persons perfect weight.

I'm at a point now where visualizing gaining it all back, or even gaining some of it back is going to be a very powerful tool.