Anyone NOT like telling people you're losing weight? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

my2cats · 10-30-2012, 09:47 PM

So a coworker asked me earlier this week if I were losing weight. We ended up talking briefly about meal plans and such. All good.

She was very positive about it and we haven't talked about it since, but I typically really dislike talking about dieting or weight loss in 'real life' because it makes me feel such pressure to succeed. That CAN be a good thing, but in my case it's more "I'm not losing fast enough! I must look like so pathetic if I'm not obviously losing weight and she knows I'm trying! I can't eat that one potato chip, I'm going to look like a pig!" etc.

I know this is all in my head and my own problem, but there it is. Anyone else feel this way when around people who know you're dieting, even if they're supportive? I'm trying to just get over it but every day at work now I'm thinking about food ALL the time and being super strict about not eating anything, at all, that's not on plan. I'm just worried I'm going to 'snap' from all the obsessing over it, eat crap, and then feel even worse.

my2cats · 10-30-2012, 09:53 PM

The other side of this is - I'm nervous she's going to bring it up in front of other coworkers, say during lunch. Not in a mean way at all, but even just a "Hey how's it going" or "That looks tasty, how many calories?" that could lead into it.

I've lost a good bit of weight already but I still feel 'fat' and am pretty self-conscious about it, so I really hate discussing my weight with people. I just much prefer weight loss to be a private journey that I can feel good about, as opposed to something where I feel external pressure to conform or feel terrible.

Ugh.

bargoo · 10-30-2012, 10:11 PM

I don't tell people I am dieting, this keeps the diet police off your back and keeps the diet saboteurs from trying to get you to break your diet. Eventually some one will notice you have lost weight and will make a comment and I say"thanks" and change the subject. I might say "yes I have lost weight and I did it on purpose" and change the subject. I try to avoid talking about as much as possible, except to other dieters.

Ash2007 · 10-30-2012, 10:31 PM

I actually in the past would keep my "diet" to myself for the same reasons. When I started my new plan.. I just did not care and if someone asked I went ahead and let them know the truth. I know what you mean about the diet police though. The last thing you want is someone judging you about your own choices.
It's even weirder when you get together with family and ALL they can talk about is your weight loss! Like seriously, it is sometimes uncomfortable.. especially when food is involved because everyone is watching your choices! My husbands aunt told me that I ate so healthy at a baby shower we just went to. I had some crap food on my plate...like mini wrap things.. and I knew every woman at that shower was thinking "HAHA, yeah right".

KellinaKatrina · 10-30-2012, 10:42 PM

I don't like talking about it but I work in a pretty tight knit office so when I'm eating the lunches I pack myself, it's noticed. It is what it is. After almost a month, I had lost 13 lbs and was asked how I was doing so I told them and a girl said that she thought after 3 weeks she figured I would have lost more. It bothered me but I'm not doing a quick loss diet, I'm doing weight watchers and can't imagine losing more than that. I also get questioned if I go out to lunch and have been point blank asked if I'm "cheating on my thing". None of your business. I bite it, I write it. I don't think the rudeness is meant to be mean, I just deal with some people who don't think before they speak.

My friends have been very supportive.

savemefromsurgery · 10-30-2012, 10:46 PM

I feel the same! I appreciate the compliments when I am loosing but it makes me feel like they are watching me and adding pressure. I want kinda want them to stay out of it, especially during the first 20 lbs or so! Totally feel ya! lol

Thedollylala · 10-30-2012, 11:17 PM

No point in keeping quiet for my loss, I've lost 55 and I plan to lose another 50 or so, I get asked every day what I've been doing for weight loss...
I do hair so I see my clients every 4-8 weeks and that's ample time to drop 5-15 lbs and change significantly, I may as well be proud of what I do and what
I've done, and answer questions if people have them. Yes it'd pressure to do well and maintain, but I show I can participate in every day functions I just limit my portions.

gatorgirl6 · 10-30-2012, 11:35 PM

I'm not talking about it to anyone other than my immediate family and my roommates. I frequently eat with these people and I need to be able to eat on plan when I am around them. Other than that I haven't told anyone. It hasn't been noticed yet, but if and when it does I will probably just say that I am getting in shape. If people want advice or details, and they ask me I will tell them, but I know talking about successful weight loss can sometimes make others who aren't having much success feel like they are failing or being judged. It is just easier not to talk about unless asked.

kisskiss · 10-31-2012, 12:17 AM

yeah, I hate telling people that i'm losing weight. Like today I went to starbucks with some friends who I haven't seen in about 2-3 months and both of them said "omg you've lost weight, what have you been doing". I mean, yeah, thanks for the compliment. But, I feel a little pressure and I definitely don't want to explain my food choices to anyone...

geoblewis · 10-31-2012, 01:01 AM

I'm just sick of talking about it. And sick of talking about food too. I don't really notice when other people lose weight or get their hair done, so when people notice me, I get annoyed. So many OTHER things to talk about.

toastedsmoke · 10-31-2012, 01:15 AM

I didn't tell anyone when I started and was very noncommittal about the whole thing during the process. By the time I got to onederland though, it was REALLY obvious that I was either actively trying to lose weight or else I had a serious health problem so I had to come clean and EVERYONE wanted to know which it was. But even then I wouldn't say I discuss my plan or what I'm doing with anyone even people I live with unless I'm outright asked.

There are too many people who want to police you or tell you what you're doing wrong or could do better or what they've read or heard or pressure you etc. In fairness, most people want to kill you with support but I feel it gets too much. I kept quiet because I just wanted to do my own thing and be my only pressure to succeed.

alaskanlaughter · 10-31-2012, 01:20 AM

i dont like telling anyone that i'm losing weight...i dont like people paying attention to me and frankly i doubt anyone gives a cr*p about my eating habits etc except my DH and maybe my sister and mom...so i dont tell anyone, and i dont talk about it...once in awhile i'll get someone who tells me it looks like i'm losing weight, or i'm looking good etc...my coworkers know that i run but to me that's different than weight loss...running is a hobby and an achievement, similar in my eyes to baking or genealogy etc and i love to talk about my hobby...

BellaDiva · 10-31-2012, 01:41 AM

I don't tell people I'm trying to lose weight with a few exceptions, my parents know, and I assume my siblings have worked it out. Otherwise the only friends who know are friends who have had similar problems and are also trying to lose weight. I don't talk about weight or weight loss with my best friend because she has never been in that situation. If we did talk about it I think the conversation would be very one sided and with a lot of useless platitudes, 'you look good, good job' but coming from someone who never knows what it feels like to be fat, I think it would lose something.

My weightloss is my business, I tell the people who I know will be supportive and helpful, don't associate with those who would drag you down.

MrsTryingAgain · 10-31-2012, 02:46 AM

Outside of this board only 3 people know I'm working on loosing weight, I don't call it dieting cause I'm actually working on a lifestyle change. Diets you go off of, this I'm not planning on going off of. Those who know: my hubby, my mom & 1 co-worker. That's it.
This change is my choice. I'm working on it at my speed. Sometimes when I've gone on my program others have "joined me", but it became like a competition. I'm sorry my life has enough stress in it, that I DO NOT need a competition!

To KellinaKatrina loosing 13 pounds in about a month is actually quite good! Sounds like you are taking pounds of without doing some crazy freak diet or starving yourself...those never work. I'b be proud to loose 13 pounds in a month! At this rate you could loose 65 pounds in just FIVE MONTHS!!! That is a great deal of weight.

In my book, it's no one's business but mine. I figure if they notice somewhere down the road...I'll take the compliment & keep moving forward. I know that people already judge me because of my weight, I don't want people to judge me for my journey to loose it. They don't need to know that I have only eaten ONE candy bar in over 3-1/2 weeks (stress eating when hubby was in hospital), that I have cut my soda intake to nearly nothing & that my goal is to drop about 30 lbs. by the New Year. So that's me in a nutshell.

strawberrypi · 10-31-2012, 04:32 AM

I currently live in Japan and I'm not telling my family about my weight loss goals or progress because I want it to be a surprise when I go home in August. In Japan I've told my very good friend and that's it. I don't mind telling other people if they ask, but I'm not going to go out of my way to tell anyone. Personally I don't think it's anyone business but my own. I don't feel any pressure because I want to do this for myself, but thinking of my parents reactions when I go home also helps.