Weight Loss Support - people are telling me not to lose anymore




Rose426
10-29-2012, 10:39 PM
It's irritating me, people keep telling me not to lose anymore weight but for my height I'm still overweight and I want to lose 10-15 more pounds. What's a nice way of telling them to mind their business?


cherrypie
10-29-2012, 10:59 PM
stop telling them you are losing weight. Tell them you are "maintaining"

raebeaR
10-29-2012, 11:01 PM
Just smile, say nothing, and do whatever it is you wish to do. Just because they say it doesn't mean you have to give them any power over you. :)


penmage
10-29-2012, 11:12 PM
Smile, nod, and do what you want anyway!

Thedollylala
10-29-2012, 11:30 PM
Yeah and if they say something about eating healthy or your exercising just say this is your new life style and you plan to keep your hot new body

memememe76
10-29-2012, 11:41 PM
DO SAY: "I appreciate your input. I just want to be healthy and lead a healthier lifestyle, that's all. Weight is not my focus."

DO NOT SAY: "But for my height I'm still overweight and I want to lose 10-15 more pounds."

Misti in Seattle
10-30-2012, 12:15 AM
I would LAUGH (important!) and say "You're getting kind of personal, aren't you?" with humor. That does make people stop and think about how rude they are being, and kind of turns the tables without being rude myself.

novangel
10-30-2012, 12:19 AM
People get envious. Don't talk about it and continue on.

dorrie
10-30-2012, 12:39 AM
Just keep going and don't mention your weight or diet. Works like a charm....

HungryHungryHippo
10-30-2012, 12:59 AM
They're just trying to give you a complement. It's a thing people say.

toastedsmoke
10-30-2012, 10:10 AM
I smile, nod, and sometimes laugh non-commitally. It's an opinion and just something people say. They're not going to stand by and watch and see if you take their advice. Do what you feel is right for yourself.

IsabellaOlivia
10-30-2012, 10:44 AM
Smile and laugh it away. Those people's opinion doesn't matter anyway.

1spunkygal
10-30-2012, 10:54 AM
It's irritating me, people keep telling me not to lose anymore weight but for my height I'm still overweight and I want to lose 10-15 more pounds. What's a nice way of telling them to mind their business?



Ask them what they weigh & they will leave you alone. Say I appreciate your concern but I'm fine .

It's YOUR journey unless our Dr says so do as you please. :hug:

JohnP
10-30-2012, 11:38 AM
You're trying to escape your fat box. People don't like that. You're supposed to be fat - it makes them feel better about their own insecurties.

OR

They're trying to give you a compliment.

Either way who cares what they say?

Robin41
10-30-2012, 12:33 PM
Either way who cares what they say?

You can not care what they say but still be sick of hearing them say it.

I used to tell people that there must be something more interesting to talk about than my weight and then simply didn't engage in the conversation. If you just stand there, people get uncomfortable and move on to something else.

tricon7
10-30-2012, 12:52 PM
Personally, I would just smile and nod and say, "Mmmm" thoughtfully like I was taking their comment under consideration. Then go my merry way when they're gone. I wouldn't consider their comment worth debating. In a way they're complimenting you. Of course, if it's something they say every time they see you, and you see them all the time, I would inevitably have to say something.

Mountain Mamma
10-30-2012, 01:00 PM
JohnP & Tricon have a point, it may be a disguised compliment. However, this comment usually comes from people with their own weight problems!

kaplods
10-30-2012, 01:03 PM
You can not care what they say but still be sick of hearing them say it.


That true, but we're often "sick" of and sensitive to weight loss comments in a way that we're not sick of other "broken record" opinions.

In my case, I had to find out why I didn't get annoyed (or got annoyed, but not nearly AS annoyed):

When family menbers kept asking when I was going to get married (especially at times when I wasn't dating anyone).

Then when I got married, we were asked when we were going to have or adopt children.

Various friends, family members, and acquaintenances suggested that we should vote a certain way (because their candidate was the obvious choice).

When they told us we should go to their church.

When they told us how we should spend or save our money.

Which car we should buy.

What we should "try" at restaurants because it was so delicious.

Where we should go on vacation and what we should do, see, eat there

Which books we should read.

When I think of weight loss comments as being no different than other opinions, I don't get as annoyed by too-personal questions and comments - at least not any more than with any frequently repeated question.

People are always sharing opinions and some people apparently don't have a lot of them, so they share the few they DO have over and over and over and over and over again until you want to shoot them or yourself.

You can tell them to shut up and talk about something new for a change - either in a joking or serious fashion - your choice (though the latter may take a tole on the friendship).

You can change the topic (each and every time) and hope they get the hint.

You can say, "Thank you," and do whatever the heck you want to anyway (this is the most convenient, because it works for every broken record comment).

You can say, "Let's talk about something else." (This is not only handy on it's own, it's also handy if any of the above choices doesn't work as intended and the person still is droning on about their opinion-of-choice).


It doesn't matter how you choose to respond, you've got tons of choices - but it really can help tremendously to see it as just another opinion. Surely you already have a favorite response to people who share opinions, advice, and suggestions that don't matter to you.

What DO you do when a co-worker drones on upon her 30,000 piece china cat collection?

What Do you do when a friend suggests for the billionth time that you buy something you have absolutely no interest in?

What do you do when a family member suggest that you save or spend your money differently than you do?

What do you do when an acquaintence starts talking about political or religious views (that you don't share) for the gazillionth time?

What do you do when a stranger in a waiting room starts telling you the life-stories of all 30 of their "adorable grandchildren?"

What do you do when someone you first meet asks "So what do you do for a living?" (Yes it's not something you get asked repeatedly by the SAME person, but you hear it so many times aren't you sick to death of hearing it by now?" And if not, why not, it is a broken record question?)



Whatever you do in THOSE cases, then do the same for the weight loss comments, and remember that the source of these comments are usually all the same, and the source isn't usually jealousy, bitterness, or anything insidious at all - just the fact that:


people HAVE opinions
people like having opinions
people with opinions like to share them

novangel
10-30-2012, 02:58 PM
You're trying to escape your fat box. People don't like that. You're supposed to be fat - it makes them feel better about their own insecurties.

Yep. The only people that have told me I'm "too thin" are very overweight. I'm not really fat anymore but I'm far from too thin. I still need some work.

memememe76
10-30-2012, 03:53 PM
I have not noticed these comments are specifically made by overweight people. They're said by lots of people, period. I suspect that such comments made by overweight people are met with greater disdain because somehow they're less entitled to express opinion regarding weight or health.

I also do not know all these people who become jealous when someone they know loses weight.

LockItUp
10-30-2012, 04:02 PM
I've been getting that line since I was like 190! Obviously I was still obese, so that was very hard to hear. The more I lose the more I do understand when people make that comment, most of the time it is coming from a good place. I may not be skinny, but they aren't comparing me to a model, they are comparing me to my former self, and compared to that it is a drastic change -- especially to those who haven't seen me fore a while.

From some people it is sincere, like my mom and my mother in law. From some it definitely is a "fat box" issue. When people ask "how much more do you want to lose" in an accusatory manner, sometimes I say "oh gosh I don't know, probably like 50 or 60 more, I want to get under 100!", they usually stop asking because that comment makes it clear I won't answer. And I tend to be a sarcastic B sometimes.

shishkeberry
10-30-2012, 04:51 PM
I can't wait until someone says this to me! I'll feel like I have finally "arrived".

Steph7409
10-30-2012, 09:25 PM
I've heard this a few times lately, and I'm nowhere near too thin. I'm quite sure the people who have said it mean it in a good way and are not at all jealous of my weight loss. Like LockItUp said, they're comparing me at 135 to me at 225, and it's a big change. I think we sometimes forget that our weight loss and changed appearance can be jarring for those around us.

I generally just smile and say I'm close to where I'd like to be. I try to remember to thank people for trying to be complimentary, even when I feel it's undeserved.

LaurieDawn
10-30-2012, 10:46 PM
When people ask "how much more do you want to lose" in an accusatory manner, sometimes I say "oh gosh I don't know, probably like 50 or 60 more, I want to get under 100!", they usually stop asking because that comment makes it clear I won't answer. And I tend to be a sarcastic B sometimes.

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

No one's said this to me, ever. But if they do, I know what I'm saying to them now. :dizzy:

twinieten
10-31-2012, 08:59 AM
It's irritating me, people keep telling me not to lose anymore weight but for my height I'm still overweight and I want to lose 10-15 more pounds. What's a nice way of telling them to mind their business?

I had one coworker tell me I'm obsessed, so I just stopped talking about it. When I talk about weight loss, I just tell them that by medical standards, I'm still overweight. People like the word "medical". You could even say something to the effect of your doctor wanting you to lose more weight. People like it when doctors are involved.

With the one coworker, one day I just took a different approach. She's trying to lose weight too.

Her: You seriously don't need to lose more. You look great.
Me: Well, I'd like to at least get to a normal BMI. I'm still considered overweight by medical standards.
Her: Well, I don't think you need to lose more. You'll look too thin.
Me: Really? You think? (just going along with her, not really agreeing with her.) Maybe your'e right. Tell me, what weight are you aiming for and what's considered normal for you?
Her: My doctor would like me to get to 150 lbs, but I'd really like to get to 130lbs lbs.
Me: Wow! Me too! That's my goal. My normal BMI is 149, but I'd like to get down to 135, or 140 at the very least.

I put it in her perspective and now she thinks it's OK.

NolaMama
10-31-2012, 12:15 PM
This could be analyzed so many different ways. However, when you are approaching your weight goal, your ideal BMI, I think some people are so surprised at seeing you at your thinnest that they couldn't imagine seeing you any smaller.

For example, an old friend of mine who has never really struggled with weight, decided to diet. To me, I thought she looked great as is. She is 5'3" and weighed about 130. She dropped about 10 lbs and I mentioned to her that she looked great... She proceeded to tell me she wanted to lose at least another 15. I didn't say anything else... If that's what she wanted to do I supported her. However, she eventually did lose another 15 and she looks so different. And honestly, not well. Even my parents have mentioned to me that she looks like she's added about 10 years of age to her face. She just turned 30.

I think people fixate too much on a number and not looking their best. Of course, everyone has their own idea of what looks best... But I think when people say things like this they're more or less complimenting how great you look.

Nothing to really over analyze with a comment like that. Do what you want and be happy that people notice how great you must look.

going2bskinny
10-31-2012, 02:34 PM
Don't tell them anything just do what you need to and take it as a very high compliment and feel good about it lol

TPA sun
10-31-2012, 05:29 PM
Maybe kinda laugh it off, but mention that you are trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Only your Dr. can tell you if your goals are healthy.

InspiredBy
11-02-2012, 04:15 AM
Yeah, I've been getting the same thing when I was still technically overweight and it annoyed the **** out of me.

The nod, smile and ignore approach worked pretty well for me. Sometimes I just said "I know" and changed the topic.

As the other said, most of the time people are just jealous. They see you reaching a goal they're not able to real. Or they're just trying to be protective in some other way (either of you or of any of their own issues).

So really, whether it's meant as a compliment or not - take it as one!

You're making other uncomfortable. That's what happens when we make a difference. And that means you're really moving and shaking. Which is GREAT!!!

Don't ever stop. Don't ever let anyone tell you what to do. You set your goals, you reach them, period. After you're done losing weight, you can set a different goal, because really, success in anything is all the same.

If you can conquer this monster, you can conquer anything. Want to learn how to sing? Play an instrument? Speak a foreign language? Clim Mount Everest? Start a business and have success with it? Any other skill, goal or path that is unattainable for other people just got absolutely within your reach. Because all dreams that become reality are made out of the same thing: Focus. Persistence. Balls of Steel. lol

Welcome to the life you always wanted! :)

Going4Lean
11-02-2012, 04:21 PM
I, periodically, get these same comments, mostly from ladies I work with. And it does ring true...the ones telling me "You're too skinny. You need to gain some weight" are carrying quite a bit of extra weight, themselves.

Recently, though, I had my yearly physical, and after getting all those "too skinny" comments, I was worried what my doctor's reaction was gonna be. But he didn't utter a word about it. In fact, it was me who told him "I was worried you'd tell me I was too skinny". His reply, with a nice grin...

"You're goofy. You are doing just fine. You look great."

So now, when others make those negative comments, I just tell them: "My doctor doesn't see a problem with my weight..so neither should you!":D