Weight Loss Support - What do you do when people give others bad weight loss advice?




DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 04:17 PM
Okay. I'm no expert here. All I know is what I've lost and about my experiences. I try to help everyone who asks for help, just by telling them what has worked for me and what hasn't...not by saying it's the only way to do it.

A friend of mine (Somewhat distant) is considering trying hydroxicut. I just messaged her and let her know if she needs support I'd love to help any way I can. I personally have never taken it and it worries me a bit that she thinks it's a pill that will burn fat.

Then this guy posts on her wall.

"The easiest way to lose weight is to work out. That's it... I have the worst diet, but because I work out, I am only 179lbs. When you and I dated, I was 220 or so. Trust me, working at it and sticking to it is the only way to lose weight and keep it off. "

Okay. So. Maybe he's right. I dunno. But I feel like...I'm prettyyyy sure I worked out like a maniac for years and was still very much overweight.
I do like the last sentence of his post obviously. But if this girl works out and still eats 3000 calories per day (idk how much she actually eats) I feel like she's not going to see results. She has been through a lot recently (A LOT) and I'm worried that if she tries this and it doesn't work it'll make her feel terrible.

SO.

What do you do when someone gives weight loss advice that you maybe don't agree with?
And is this dude right? Should I say something? D: AHHH.
Sorry for the book ._. again.
-----
He just added more. Out of nowhere.
""Dddooooonnntttt count calories or carbs, you'll drive yourself nuts...
Just burn them..."
:I I replied to that. But. Jeez. Whyyyy would you say that ._.


LockItUp
10-22-2012, 04:25 PM
If it were me I wouldn't be able to NOT comment right underneath his comment something like "Wow super great for you that worked! But I've found quite the opposite to be true for me. Everyone is different! It's a lot of trial and error."

Of course it's up to your friend what advice she follows. If she's serious about losing weight and she tries his advice and it doesn't work, she will go ahead and try something else. I think most people know deep down that diet is more important than workouts when it comes to losing weight.

Lambiechop
10-22-2012, 04:31 PM
I'd just probably say everyone is different and then insert something like "I've always heard focus on food for weight loss and exercise for fitness"


mandalinn82
10-22-2012, 04:39 PM
I usually say something like, "Interesting! For me, I've found that X, Y, and Z works. Isn't it amazing how different we all are?

And usually I throw in some research/science/citations to support what I'm saying.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 04:43 PM
If it were me I wouldn't be able to NOT comment right underneath his comment something like "Wow super great for you that worked! But I've found quite the opposite to be true for me. Everyone is different! It's a lot of trial and error."

Of course it's up to your friend what advice she follows. If she's serious about losing weight and she tries his advice and it doesn't work, she will go ahead and try something else. I think most people know deep down that diet is more important than workouts when it comes to losing weight.
I am absolutely struggling not to comment. I think it's crappy when people tell people things like that with such a "know it all" tone. You know? D: Ugh. So I messaged her, and we're talking about it. I just want her to be healthy :C I guess it makes me extra sad when people give advice like that because when I was a kid that's what everyone told me, and it didn't work..and because it didn't work I got so depressed, I thought I was just meant to be fat.

I'd just probably say everyone is different and then insert something like "I've always heard focus on food for weight loss and exercise for fitness"
:3 I passed that along to her. I figure that's a pretty polite way to put my opinion out there.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 04:45 PM
I usually say something like, "Interesting! For me, I've found that X, Y, and Z works. Isn't it amazing how different we all are?

And usually I throw in some research/science/citations to support what I'm saying.

Exactly what I said. I just didn't know if that was me being rude or not but the more I think about it, I think that's probably the perfect thing to say. Everyone is different and if that worked for him I'm glad.

ChickieBoom
10-22-2012, 04:52 PM
Generally I don't appreciate getting weight loss advice from men. Our bodies are different and a man can stop drinking soda or beer and lose weight. I gave up soda and nothing happened. Everyone is different and different weight loss plans work for different people but I always heard that losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Also, what does "eat whatever I like" mean? That statement might mean something very different to him than it would mean to me. Because given my own way, I'd eat a ton of crap. I think you handled it really well.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 04:59 PM
Generally I don't appreciate getting weight loss advice from men. Our bodies are different and a man can stop drinking soda or beer and lose weight. I gave up soda and nothing happened. Everyone is different and different weight loss plans work for different people but I always heard that losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Also, what does "eat whatever I like" mean? That statement might mean something very different to him than it would mean to me. Because given my own way, I'd eat a ton of crap. I think you handled it really well.
Thank you <3
Yeah, the difference between men and women is insane when it comes to weightloss.
I didn't even think about how different "eat what you like" is for each person, I'm sure it changes from day to day. Weight loss advise is dangerous, I directed her to the forum so maybe we'll see her pop up and say hello :3

KateB
10-22-2012, 05:35 PM
I typically have a hard time NOT throwing in my 2 cents. Although I try not to dispute what others said has worked for them. Itry to say something like, "Congrats on your success. I have something different that works for me." Then explain what that something different is.

I also don't think what works for men works for women. And the statement "eat whatever I like.." well you maybe losing weight, but does that mean your healthy? I know a lot of unhealthy thin people as well as a lot of healthy overweight people.

IMHO I think everyone's goal should be to improve their health, not just weight loss.

EagleRiverDee
10-22-2012, 05:41 PM
I think the most important thing is to remember that everyone is different. I used to be able to lose weight and maintain with exercise alone. I ate whatever, whenever, and exercise took care of it. Then I turned 30- haha. After that, it became a combo of diet and exercise, and although I see it here all the time it was my doctor that first told me two things that really helped. One was, "You lose weight with diet, you get fit with exercise." and the other was in response to me telling him that when I diet I get hungry and he said, "So- is it going to kill you?" And I realized that I had a really skewed relationship with food- I literally felt like it was wrong to ever let myself get hungry. So for me, losing weight is a diet AND exercise affair, and I also need to limit my carbs because it's hard for me to lose weight if I eat carbs.

However, that doesn't make other people and their methods wrong per se. I just encourage people to put it into a personal, "this is what worked for me."

But I'm with you on Hydroxycut and drugs like that. Those drugs are not always safe, although I do know people that lost a significant amount of weight using them. People have different tolerance for risk in order to lose weight. Some people are willing to risk side effects, and even surgery, in order to lose weight.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 06:06 PM
IMHO I think everyone's goal should be to improve their health, not just weight loss.

^^ exactly. That's part of the reason I was bummed about what he said.

I think the most important thing is to remember that everyone is different. I used to be able to lose weight and maintain with exercise alone. I ate whatever, whenever, and exercise took care of it. Then I turned 30- haha. After that, it became a combo of diet and exercise, and although I see it here all the time it was my doctor that first told me two things that really helped. One was, "You lose weight with diet, you get fit with exercise." and the other was in response to me telling him that when I diet I get hungry and he said, "So- is it going to kill you?" And I realized that I had a really skewed relationship with food- I literally felt like it was wrong to ever let myself get hungry. So for me, losing weight is a diet AND exercise affair, and I also need to limit my carbs because it's hard for me to lose weight if I eat carbs.

However, that doesn't make other people and their methods wrong per se. I just encourage people to put it into a personal, "this is what worked for me."

But I'm with you on Hydroxycut and drugs like that. Those drugs are not always safe, although I do know people that lost a significant amount of weight using them. People have different tolerance for risk in order to lose weight. Some people are willing to risk side effects, and even surgery, in order to lose weight.
I have mixed feelings on people who choose to take pills to manage appetite or whatever. My doctor prescribed phentermine so I can't say much :P BUT...she obviously didn't research it. She's looking for a magic pill and it is going to be a bummer when she doesn't find it.

I think it is really cool that you lost weight that way. I'm jealous :p That's what I tried for years, but I was a little kid so I had a very different idea about what healthy was.
I'm all for people who can lose that way, but I guess my problem was more like, why would he say it so rudely and with such a... "THIS IS THE WAY TO DO IT" type of vibe. I think this forum has sort of spoiled me. I'm so used to people being supportive and offering advice openly without judgement that I forgot what the real world is like. :P

juliastl27
10-22-2012, 06:42 PM
you're all a lot more polite than me. id probably forward her to a study that shows how much diet effects weight loss than exercise (especially in women) and then another one about the long term success rate and possible side effects of diet pills. i wouldnt do it because i think i have all the answers (far from it) but because i think that the people who do medical studies have a lot more than i do. its more like saying, well i dont know and you dont know, so here's what these experts say.

lol, im surprised i even have friends with how blunt i am.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 07:19 PM
you're all a lot more polite than me. id probably forward her to a study that shows how much diet effects weight loss than exercise (especially in women) and then another one about the long term success rate and possible side effects of diet pills. i wouldnt do it because i think i have all the answers (far from it) but because i think that the people who do medical studies have a lot more than i do. its more like saying, well i dont know and you dont know, so here's what these experts say.

lol, im surprised i even have friends with how blunt i am.
I sent her some links to sites about the dangers of that pill specifically, also an old thread on here about it.

lol! Blunt isn't always bad.

masterptr
10-22-2012, 07:21 PM
DandelionCupcakes -- I sent her some links to sites about the dangers of that pill specifically, also an old thread on here about it.

.
.
Good job!

EagleRiverDee
10-22-2012, 07:38 PM
I'm all for people who can lose that way, but I guess my problem was more like, why would he say it so rudely and with such a... "THIS IS THE WAY TO DO IT" type of vibe. I think this forum has sort of spoiled me. I'm so used to people being supportive and offering advice openly without judgement that I forgot what the real world is like. :P

I think it's more that it was a guy. You know how so many guys can make one tweak, and lose weight? He's probably one of them. I always get jealous of my guy friends that are like, "I'm getting fat, I'm going to cut out the beer for a week" and they lose 20 lbs. They don't understand that women's physiology makes it harder.

Arctic Mama
10-22-2012, 07:49 PM
I'd prop heavy exercise over hydroxycut! That stuff is awful!

That said, I'd kindly suggest that you can't out-exercise a bad diet, especially as a woman, and that working out as an additional fitness tool with a solid diet at the root is the very best mix of them all.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 08:39 PM
Well. I tried. -sigh- I got a mean message, dude called me a fat cow and told me that if I knew anything about weight loss I wouldn't still be losing. (that makes no sense, but whatever)


I tried. :p

serendipity907
10-22-2012, 08:45 PM
I've always assumed it was easier for men to focus on exercise to lose weight as they naturally have and build muscle quicker than women. At least I think that's correct. That said I also think it's ignorant to suggest that everyone finds counting calories and carbs awful-Some people love it and reap fantastic results off doing so. I'm pretty dedicated when it comes to counting carbs because too many, especially sugar based carbs make me feel TERRIBLE.

He sounds awful defensive to say that to you anyway, he probably isn't as self assured as he makes out ;) Truth is so many different approaches work for different people, to try and preach anything as the way to do it for everyone is a load of tosh.

EagleRiverDee
10-22-2012, 08:53 PM
Well. I tried. -sigh- I got a mean message, dude called me a fat cow and told me that if I knew anything about weight loss I wouldn't still be losing. (that makes no sense, but whatever)


I tried. :p

Wow- he sounds like a real winner. Sorry you had to have that happen to you. :(

TripSwitch
10-22-2012, 08:58 PM
Well. I tried. -sigh- I got a mean message, dude called me a fat cow and told me that if I knew anything about weight loss I wouldn't still be losing. (that makes no sense, but whatever)


I tried. :p

I'm sorry, but this guy sounds like a real jerk... Hopefully your friend won't take anything he say's too seriously... Sounds like you've done the best that you can here, hopefully your friend will appreciate you taking the time to offer something I bit more helpful than "just exercise a lot " and "don't count calories or carbs..."

Misti in Seattle
10-22-2012, 09:04 PM
I think you handled it very well. I would not let the comment pass; however, at the same time I could not really support her in what she is doing because I think it is extremely dangerous. But you pointed her to the facts about it and still encouraged her. Good job.

LOL about "eat whatever you like." That's what got most of us in this situation... i.e. FAT... in the first place!!!

LockItUp
10-22-2012, 09:37 PM
Well. I tried. -sigh- I got a mean message, dude called me a fat cow and told me that if I knew anything about weight loss I wouldn't still be losing. (that makes no sense, but whatever)


I tried. :p

Well he certainly is the charmer isn't he. What a total tool. Gives bad weight loss advice AND is a rude a-hole, the ladies must be crawling all over him.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 09:50 PM
<3 Thanks everyone.
Yeah seriously...I'm sure the girls are flocking, I wonder how he finds the time to send strangers crappy messages? He sort of looks like the travelocity gnome but I'm too nice to tell him that.

I think I handled it the best I could, haha. But it's also really clear he still has something to work on if he's that defensive.

freelancemomma
10-22-2012, 09:52 PM
LOL about "eat whatever you like." That's what got most of us in this situation... i.e. FAT... in the first place!!!

A big problem with "eat whatever you like" is that some people (such as my husband) like eating about 2,500 cals per day, whereas others (raising hand) like eating 4,000. So even if you leave aside age, gender, BMR, or any other such variables, appetite and food preferences vary enormously. "Eat whatever you like" would spell instant regain for me, regardless of how much I exercised.

F.

juliastl27
10-22-2012, 10:22 PM
Well. I tried. -sigh- I got a mean message, dude called me a fat cow and told me that if I knew anything about weight loss I wouldn't still be losing. (that makes no sense, but whatever)


I tried. :p

gross. thats such a cheap shot for guys to take. they think if they call you fat they've really *zinged* you and you're going to cry yourself to sleep.it gets so annoying.

clearly you're just trying to help this woman and for some reason hes so insecure that you having a different opinion makes him feel the need to be nasty.

DandelionCupcakes
10-22-2012, 11:24 PM
Isn't it weird that the first things people usually insult people with are either about their weight or alleged promiscuity? (He threw some of those at me, to :P) Super cheap shots, doesn't even bug me anymore.

Misti in Seattle
10-22-2012, 11:32 PM
A big problem with "eat whatever you like" is that some people (such as my husband) like eating about 2,500 cals per day, whereas others (raising hand) like eating 4,000. So even if you leave aside age, gender, BMR, or any other such variables, appetite and food preferences vary enormously. "Eat whatever you like" would spell instant regain for me, regardless of how much I exercised.

F.

For sure... same here! But the people like your husband, to whom that means 2500 calories per day, are not the ones struggling to lose weight. :carrot:

juliastl27
10-23-2012, 03:06 AM
Isn't it weird that the first things people usually insult people with are either about their weight or alleged promiscuity? (He threw some of those at me, to :P) Super cheap shots, doesn't even bug me anymore.

hes not even trying.