100 lb. Club - Long Distance Relationships and Weight
10-16-2012, 12:57 PM
So as most of you know I am in the process of a divorce (still living with the ex in different parts of the house) and in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend Steve who lives in Florida.
All this stress and depression is taking a toll on my weight loss journey, I have gained about 5 pounds already this month. Unfortunately my way of dealing with the pain and loneliness is to "FEED IT". I know this is not healthy nor is it going to make me feel better (usually it makes me feel worse). I have had heartburn the past two nights from the food choices I have made, and after I get through with my binges I usually sit and cry because I feel like a failure.
So obviously my attempt to "feel better" is doing nothing but making me feel worse. I have to find a healthy way to deal with my stress, loneliness and depression, I just hope I am strong enough to do it.
10-16-2012, 01:05 PM
Hey- I just want to say, you can do it. You are strong, and beautiful, and YOU CAN DO IT!!
Say it with me "I CAN DO IT".
Here's the thing- life is hard, to imperfectly quote a phenomenal quote, when good things happen, you smile, but you know that bad things will happen, when bad things happen, you keep smiling, because you know that good things are on the way.
I mean, I am a huge proponent for ben and jerry's therapy in the matters of the heart, but I am also a big proponent of taking a walk directly before, or directly after that. Why binge? Binges are generally not delicious... why not.. okay yourself to drown your sorrows in one little thing you're craving, count it into your plan and move right on?
You might actually derive pleasure out of it...
10-16-2012, 03:31 PM
Belinda - I truly feel your pain, loneliness, and depression..because I was in your same shoes not too long ago. I was going through a divorce, and I was also trying to keep up a long distance relationship, on top of losing weight. What I realized is I had to let it all go and truly take care of me. For me, the long distance relationship ended up being my way of trying to escape the pain I was going through with my ex-husband. What truly made a difference was when I decided that I had to let it all go and make myself important again. I had to find my self-worth again and realize that my self worth cannot be based on the actions of others. I had to go deep....and for quite some time. I stuffed myself....and I mean STUFFED myself with food in the process. It's so hard when you're going through it and it feels like you'll never get through it. But you will, I promise you. Take this time for you. You are important....every aspect of you...including your health. Take all the quiet time that you need to come to this realization. HUGS TO YOU!
10-16-2012, 08:51 PM
Ah! The recently/almost divorced unite!
First thing - even if you are backsliding a little, you deserve credit for sticking with 3FC. Progress, not perfection, yes? And so long as you stay committed, you will figure this out too.
Secondly - what worked for me (finally, after much self-medicated with food) was weight lifting. Amazing how much aggression I am able to get out that way! Plus, making time for exercise made it more difficult to find time for self-pity. (And I don't call it self-pity in a judgmental way.) Maybe this strategy will work for you, maybe not. But there is one that will.:-)
10-16-2012, 11:09 PM
I wish I would have done the weight lifting thing instead of stuffing my face during those times....but we live and learn. And yes, divorce sucks big time!