100 lb. Club - coworker copycat - ugh!




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AwShucks
10-08-2012, 08:25 PM
I work with about 10 women -- and sometimes it's just like Jr. High in our office. I have one coworker who accuses me of having "an attitude" whenever she disagrees with me. We work together frequently, and there's never been any love loss between us. She is frequently rude and confrontational. I like to keep my professional relationships professional and seldom participate in the office gossip/chit chat. It works for me, but the others all seem chummier.

This particular coworker also happens to be overweight, and has never mentioned my weightloss -- 75+ lbs. since January! I sense jealousy at the root of all this. Another weird thing -- she frequently compliments my clothing or jewelry -- giving me the impression that she watches me too closely (I seldom notice others' attire or jewelry), and she has started wearing items similar to what I have worn!

I've never had this happen before. It's annoying! It makes me self conscious to wear my (very few) clothes that fit right now, because it seems like I'm copying her! They say that copying is a form of flattery, but it's uncomfortable when it is someone who seems to not be on your side. Know what I mean? Has anyone else experienced anything like this?


Arctic Mama
10-08-2012, 09:03 PM
I think you're overthinking this. Big time. Stop being insecure, stop caring what other grown women are wearing, take the compliments as they come and for YOUR sake ignore the rest.

Life is too short to indulge in jealousy and insecurity, which are often two sides of the same coin. Your weight loss and clothing selections are for YOU and you're letting this rob you of satisfaction and contentment. It's not about her, you can't control what she says or does or wears. What you CAN control is your response to it. Thus, put your blinders on, this is something way too petty for you to worry about.

Brandis
10-08-2012, 09:07 PM
I think this is bizarre. I don't know why you would want to look like someone you don't have any love for. I would probably get fun with it though and wear something really outrageous just to see how far she'd take it. You know, the eighties attire is all the rage right now. I'm thinking like a side pony tail and a lime green suit with bright orange heels. GIANT lightning bolt earrings. That should cure her of her strange fascination with you. Sorry I don't have anything helpful to offer, except I definitely think it's weird.


juliana77
10-08-2012, 10:03 PM
People are VERY self centered. It's highly possible she didn't notice you lost weight. Either that, or she did notice, but now she feels like she can't say anything because she should have said something earlier and now it would be weird to say something. (I'm an overthinker. I get it. lol)

Try not to worry about it. People will make you crazy. She's the one with the issue.

Nadya
10-08-2012, 10:41 PM
I wouldn't give it too much thought. Just wear whatever makes you happy and let her do...whatever it is she's doing. xD

AwShucks
10-08-2012, 11:05 PM
Thanks guys. I KNOW it's petty, but it's just so weird. I probably am over thinking this. I try really hard to stay out of everyone elses business at work, so when I noticed this, it was just strange - especially coming from her. I guess I just had to share my thoughts. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.

Interestingly, I've talked about this same coworker before with a counselor I'm seeing, and she advised me to ignore her, too, and not to take on HER issues.

Tomorrow, I'm wearing my polkadots - Loud and Proud!

Arctic Mama
10-09-2012, 01:28 AM
I love polkadots, they're so much fun!

findingfawn
10-09-2012, 05:53 AM
As annoying as it is, it sounds catty and typical. There is always the one girl who is still mentally in JR high (sadly sometimes it's more than one girl).

I agree with letting it go. You have come a long way, don't let someone so immature bring you down.

Goddess Jessica
10-09-2012, 02:26 PM
Ha! My boss's wife was a copycat. Dyed her hair to match mine, went to my hair stylist to get the same cut (luckily my stylist said no), and decided to take up the afterwork activities I was interested in. It all stemmed from a lack of her own identity. She eventually moved on to copycat another one of her friends (and another, and another, etc).

Try to feel flattered that she wants to emulate you and that you are some sort of role model to her (even if she otherwise acts like you're not). I am sure she's struggling with her own internal issues.

LAgreeneyes
10-09-2012, 02:43 PM
Ha! My boss's wife was a copycat. Dyed her hair to match mine, went to my hair stylist to get the same cut (luckily my stylist said no), and decided to take up the afterwork activities I was interested in. It all stemmed from a lack of her own identity. She eventually moved on to copycat another one of her friends (and another, and another, etc).

Try to feel flattered that she wants to emulate you and that you are some sort of role model to her (even if she otherwise acts like you're not). I am sure she's struggling with her own internal issues.

Your boss's wife sounds like a Lifetime Movie in the making.

heathermichigan
10-09-2012, 07:14 PM
Your boss's wife sounds like a Lifetime Movie in the making.

Bahahahaha! Nice!

SmallSteps
10-10-2012, 11:23 AM
As annoying as it is, it sounds catty and typical. There is always the one girl who is still mentally in JR high (sadly sometimes it's more than one girl).

This would pretty much describe my WHOLE office!! It is frustrating when you have to deal with it EVERY day.

My copy cat co worker is always "going on a diet" it is so annoying then the very next day she is stuffing her face with burgers, fries, pizza, chicken fingers and trying to lead me down that road with her. "one piece, one bite, one time will not hurt you" It pisses me off big time!

Elladorine
10-10-2012, 02:29 PM
Anyone read Deenie when they were a kid? Reminds me of the girl that kept copying the main character, and even chopped her hair while leaving some uncut strands. :lol: