Weight Loss Support - Feeding my fiancÚ....




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Katbot24
10-01-2012, 12:31 PM
Ok so I've obviously been eating below maintenance in order to lose weight, right? Right. The problem is: I usually cook for my fiancÚ as well as myself and sometimes I'm at a loss on how to feed him enough calories since all our food is now healthy (right now we have a giant pot of lentil spaghetti sauce and spinach
pasta). He's 5'10 and 135 and extremely lean, and wants to bulk up. I'm struggling to feed him enough because he always wants to eat what I eat and eats about the same portion as I do, even though I tell him it's not enough for him.

I pack different lunches for us, he gets a pb and j sandwich and some nuts and carrots (or other munch able veggies) and I pack myself a salad. I also sneak about an extra half portion into his supper and give him a glass of milk and a slice of garlic toast along with his pasta to try and fortify his meal. He's grudgingly munching on protein bars after working out too (he weight trains) so that I keep his proteins over 100g a day.

I know it's not my responsibility to watch his nutrition but he doesn't know the first thing about calories or protein or anything like that! He's always just eaten what was put in front of him trustingly. He's great at supporting my journey and even when he cooks he'll ask me if what he's planning will fit with my plan, so I want to help him in his goal to bulk up as well. But I sometimes feel like unless I cook two different meals for us he won't get to his goal because mine is so drastically different!


1spunkygal
10-01-2012, 12:40 PM
My husband is the same 5' 9" 160 lbs (jeesh) pack on the GOOD carbs for him like reg pasta, rice, noodles, Whole grain breads...just my 2 cents. Also have him pitch in on the cooking & meal prep as in "fend for himself" on certain nights. Mine has begun to do this to "support my journey". I wish you well

We ( he & I ) have been down this road soooooooo many times & I'm really doing good this time around so that's why he has started to do this.

LockItUp
10-01-2012, 12:51 PM
Have you told him what you just typed out to us? If you haven't, encourage you to do so.

I understand you wanting to do right for both of you, but it sounds like he is a classic under-eater. If he wants to put on muscle, he will have to eat accordingly, which means a lot more than he does now (on top of the lifting of course, that's important as well). It takes just as much work to put on healthy weight, as it does to take of unhealthy weight (IMO), maybe even harder.

My husband has way different goals than me, and eays WAY more than me (probably eats my entire day's worth of calories at dinner alone). He's lean, 6'1" and 180, and wants to add more muscle. He takes it upon himself to drink protein shakes, eat extra portions at dinner, and packs his own lunch because I don't know how much of things he wants. It's on him, and not in a mean way at all.

I typically make large portions of dinners so we will have leftovers for him to take for lunch, and that way there is also plenty for him to eat as much as he wants at dinner (plus the 2 kids to feed of course). Sometimes I will make sides (like spunkygal mentioned) that I don't necessarily eat, but DH and the kids will (like pasta, rice, quinoa, potatoes, sweet potatoes -- sometimes I eat it but not always).

If he is really serious about putting on muscle, he needs to do some research and learning about how to do so! Just for his own well being it's important for him to know!


1spunkygal
10-01-2012, 01:12 PM
AGREE w / lockitup 100%

JohnP
10-01-2012, 01:19 PM
Lockit up is of course right. If he wants to add muscle he will have to eat more. A lot more. Lifting weights and getting 100g of protein per day will do nothing if he is not in a caloric surplus. Adding muscle requires a caloric surplus.

If he can't figure out how to eat more than he should just drink his calories. GOMAD is a popular option for chronic undereaters.

Gallon Of Milk A Day

kitkatt
10-01-2012, 01:31 PM
I have a similar situation. My husband is naturally lean and has to be very conscious of getting enough calories to maintain his weight. When he's not paying attention, he loses weight.

We eat a whole food diet, no sugar, no processed foods, whole grains, etc., so we get creative about adding calories. I only cook one meal for the entire family (we have 4 kids), but my husband and 18 y/o son always make some additions.

If we're having whole wheat pasta and sauce, they'll add some olive oil and/or pesto for extra calories. Sometimes they'll sprinkle pine nuts or cheese (feta, romano, parmesan) on top.

With our veggie chili they'll also have a peanut butter sandwich on Ezekiel bread.

When I grill chicken and serve everyone else 4 oz breast, they'll have an extra serving.

Another great way to add calories is to pack him snacks of almonds or walnuts. 10 almonds = 70 calories + good fats, so that adds up quickly.

Another snack is apple and peanut butter. Peanut butter calories add up quickly! (Don't ask me how I know. :D )

My boys also eat a lot of Ezekiel Sprouted Almond cereal. 200 calories in 1/2 cup! Good for you and can be a great high calorie snack when mixed with a cup of full fat organic yogurt.

Good luck!

1spunkygal
10-01-2012, 01:41 PM
I have a similar situation. My husband is naturally lean and has to be very conscious of getting enough calories to maintain his weight. When he's not paying attention, he loses weight.

We eat a whole food diet, no sugar, no processed foods, whole grains, etc., so we get creative about adding calories. I only cook one meal for the entire family (we have 4 kids), but my husband and 18 y/o son always make some additions.

If we're having whole wheat pasta and sauce, they'll add some olive oil and/or pesto for extra calories. Sometimes they'll sprinkle pine nuts or cheese (feta, romano, parmesan) on top.

With our veggie chili they'll also have a peanut butter sandwich on Ezekiel bread.

When I grill chicken and serve everyone else 4 oz breast, they'll have an extra serving.

Another great way to add calories is to pack him snacks of almonds or walnuts. 10 almonds = 70 calories + good fats, so that adds up quickly.

Another snack is apple and peanut butter. Peanut butter calories add up quickly! (Don't ask me how I know. :D )

My boys also eat a lot of Ezekiel Sprouted Almond cereal. 200 calories in 1/2 cup! Good for you and can be a great high calorie snack when mixed with a cup of full fat organic yogurt.

Good luck!


Mmmm can I come live with you ? I will help out around the house I promise :D

Arctic Mama
10-01-2012, 02:06 PM
Satiety should be his cue, and if he is satisfied I wouldn't change anything. If he's wanting to add mass, more protein and more fat would be my recommendation, in addition to beginning lifting if he hasn't, already. But I'm a firm believer that if he is exercising his hunger should ratchet up accordingly.

Add butter to his veggies, or rich dips to his snacks (sunbutter and celery is YUM). You can easily get an extra 400-500 calories a day with judicious additions of healthy fat, and it is great for your body.

He may do excellently with a program like Leangains, actually, if he's normally a light eater a fasting schedule could be excellent for him.

krampus
10-01-2012, 02:14 PM
Lockit up is of course right. If he wants to add muscle he will have to eat more. A lot more. Lifting weights and getting 100g of protein per day will do nothing if he is not in a caloric surplus. Adding muscle requires a caloric surplus.

If he can't figure out how to eat more than he should just drink his calories. GOMAD is a popular option for chronic undereaters.

Gallon Of Milk A Day

Apparently Justin Bieber did this, and now a video of him puking milk mid-concert has gone viral! http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2012/oct/01/justin-bieber-vomits-on-stage

Seriously though your fiance is in for it. Bulking has got to suck as much as or more than dieting for those who don't naturally eat at caloric surpluses. Eating protein and carbs constantly regardless of hunger? Yikes!

kitkatt
10-01-2012, 02:26 PM
Mmmm can I come live with you ? I will help out around the house I promise :D

Come on over! The more the merrier. :D

stimkovs
10-01-2012, 02:51 PM
Seriously though your fiance is in for it. Bulking has got to suck as much as or more than dieting for those who don't naturally eat at caloric surpluses. Eating protein and carbs constantly regardless of hunger? Yikes!


i hope that was sarcasm.

sounds delicious.

Porthardygurl
10-01-2012, 02:55 PM
Load him up on easy calories...for example..olive oil and nuts and avocados and other fats that are healthy..These add calories fast into one's diets. Bananas are a great carbohydrate..Olives too..those are high in fat.

For example: Have a salad..drizzle his salad with olive oil and shove some cut up avocados on top of it. Have a pizza..load it with olives

Does he like chocolate milk? If so...start making him shakes with milk, chocolate syrup and bananas and ice..tastes like a good homemade chocolate banana frosty.

Popcorn=butter and salt
Penut butter and Jam sandwiches on thick sliced bread

The list goes on.

juliastl27
10-01-2012, 04:19 PM
i hope that was sarcasm.

sounds delicious.

^my thoughts exactly^

is there any reason why you have to both eat the same thing every night? maybe he could eat what you make but make himself an additional side or snack.

bargoo
10-01-2012, 05:12 PM
I think you are lucky that he eats healthy food and isn't bringing home a dozen donuts or a gallon of ice cream. Put a little something extra in his lunch , how about a banana or some cheese, maybe .

kelleyb
10-01-2012, 06:13 PM
I agree with "drink your calories" if trying to gain. Also extra fats like avacado, nuts, peanut butter and other nut butters, pesto, cheese, crutons on salad, cottage cheese, etc. Stick with full fat products as well.