100 lb. Club - Dieting During Difficult Circumstances




Quantum Sheep
09-11-2012, 12:53 PM
How do you do it? My mother was recently diagnosed with cancer, and I'm lost and terrified. She made me promise to keep taking care of myself, so I'm trying. How do I do it?

I can't be the only one who has had something bad happen during their weight loss journey, so I need some help. How did you stay on plan during breakups, health crises, and changing life circumstances? How did you get up and exercise every day when you were struggling just to get up.

The only thing that's keeping my weight loss going is that I guess I'm so shocked that my normal coping mechanism of eating huge quantities has been replaced by no appetite at all. When I do eat, I eat cookies. That's not what she means by taking care of myself, though.

So help me. I'm trying. I'm just lost.


Goddess Jessica
09-11-2012, 01:26 PM
First, BIG HUGS! Life is so hard sometimes and cancer sucks.

For me, that feeling of lost was key for me. Controlling my diet and exercise was the only grounding that I felt during the worst of the upheaval. Especially exercise which would take me out of my head space and put me back into the physical world.

I know that I feel better when I eat better but it's still hard for me to choose healthy over comfort. I try to take it easy on myself but also remind myself that eating well is better for everyone, including myself and my loved ones.

Also, journal. The science behind journaling is hard to ignore. People come out of difficult situation better simply by journaling. Not even guided journaling, just putting your feelings on paper in a safe space makes those feelings easy to deal with and make you capable of coping with them.

bargoo
09-11-2012, 01:28 PM
Stay on plan and be as healthy as you can be for your Mother's sake.


Strawberry Blond
09-11-2012, 02:34 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I wonder if writing and listening to music (perhaps while exercising) might help.

While I realize this is not the same, we sadly had to put down our beloved dog yesterday. I am alternating between no hunger at all and being ravenous. I am hoping to motivate myself to go out and do my usual bike ride.

Wishing you all the best during this difficult time.

djs06
09-11-2012, 02:40 PM
I'm so sorry about your mom.

My advice is to take her advice! Keep taking care of yourself. She wants you to be happy and healthy and it will feel good to show her that you are. Cancer is such a roller coaster ride and it's important to try your best not to let it define your entire existence. :grouphug:

famograham
09-11-2012, 02:44 PM
Ohhh, I hear you. Twice in the past, I have allowed myself to derail because of life. Once was after a tree crushed my Mom's house (everyone was OK, but my kids were there when it happened and she lost her home)
The other time was a couple years later when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I truly get it.


I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I knew how to care for myself as well as I care for everyone else. :hug: But I've just never been able to get that part right!

caryesings
09-11-2012, 04:51 PM
First, BIG HUGS! Life is so hard sometimes and cancer sucks.

For me, that feeling of lost was key for me. Controlling my diet and exercise was the only grounding that I felt during the worst of the upheaval. Especially exercise which would take me out of my head space and put me back into the physical world.



I second sending you the hug and agreeing with Jessica. When life circumstances feel out of my control, I find comfort in what I can control. And though I may slip into a bit of comfort eating, I have found extra exercise during stressful periods really helps me cope

bargoo
09-11-2012, 05:19 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I wonder if writing and listening to music (perhaps while exercising) might help.

While I realize this is not the same, we sadly had to put down our beloved dog yesterday. I am alternating between no hunger at all and being ravenous. I am hoping to motivate myself to go out and do my usual bike ride.

Wishing you all the best during this difficult time.

I am so sorry about your dog, I now how painful that is, having had to do ir.

Justwant2Bhealthy
09-11-2012, 08:45 PM
:hug: to you and yours -- our family has been really hit hard with cancer too(my DAD was just diagnosed again for the second time). It is such a shock at first; it takes time for that lost feeling to lessen (it will). I agree that writing down your feelings can help a lot too. When our mother was first diagnosed when I was just in my late teens, we all just kinda felt numb, but we came together and supported each other and her, all throughout that time.

We ALL have faced or are facing many stressful & trying situations while on this journey, so we do know how you feel. We lost both of our beloved furry babies within 3 weeks of each other (we had them 14 & 15 years and they were like our kids). It was so difficult for us, but the folks here were a great support to me.

Looking after yourself is a gift to your mother as she battles this foe; and will probably make her feel better too. Just do your best -- one-day-at-a-time; that may sound trite, but it's really key in these kinds of circumstances. I find that the most helpful advice during stressful times.

Keep in mind -- that today, the survival rate is much, much higher than ever before; we have great doctors, great medicine, and great treatments that have done wonders for many. Will send up some ^Prayers^ for your mother, you, and your whole family at this time ... :hug:

DCHound
09-12-2012, 11:32 AM
When I can't control what's going on around me I still can control what I put into my mouth, which, oddly enough, makes me feel a bit more in control of those things I can't control.

missaprylj
09-12-2012, 12:21 PM
When I can't control what's going on around me I still can control what I put into my mouth, which, oddly enough, makes me feel a bit more in control of those things I can't control.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

Also, exercising is a great way to take a mental vacation; I took a Zumba class this morning for the first time and I didn't think about ANYTHING else for the 30 minutes I was dancing around like an idiot.


Thinking of you, your mom, and your family.

linJber
09-12-2012, 09:35 PM
Here's another hug - and I agree that cancer sucks.

I guess we just have to push through and think of what is really best for us and for our loved ones in difficult times. Staying healthy so you can help others is important. Keep that in mind. Your mom wants you to be healthy. Keep that in mind. staying on plan allows you to have control over the one thing you actually can control. Keep that in mind. Just repeat these things over and over until nothing else makes sense. Easier said than done, but it will help.

good luck and prayers to your family.

Lin

Quantum Sheep
09-13-2012, 12:39 PM
Thank you all for your hugs, support and advice. I kept meaning to respond to this thread, but I'm not processing things too quickly as of late. I haven't exercised in days, because I've been so busy running around doing things for everyone else in my family. Taking care of me always seems to be at the bottom of the priority list.

Goddess Jessica: I think I might be a little depressed at the moment. I have a history or depression, and right now staying on plan feels like trying to bail out the Titanic. We're still waiting to hear from the Doctor on a course of treatment. I'm hoping that once I know the plan, I'll know how to work taking care of myself to the top of the priority list. I hadn't considered journaling, as I stopped journaling nearly 10 years ago. Maybe it's time to start again. Thank you.

bargoo: Thank you. That's the plan. I'm working hard on figuring out the how.

Strawberry Blond: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. As a dog person with a 10-year-old black lab/german shepherd who is as much a part of our family as any of my nieces or nephews, I can imagine your pain. :hug: I guess we really just need to keep doing our best.

djs06: Thank you. It has been a roller coaster, and it hasn't even been a week since we found out.

famograham: Thank you. I'm sorry you had to go through both of those situations. I wish we both knew how to care for ourselves. Maybe we'll figure it out hanging around on this forum.

caryesings: Thanks. I hope to resume exercising this week. I just haven't figured out how yet.

Justwant2Bhealthy: I'm sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis, and I'm really sorry that you've had so much experience with cancer. I'm glad to hear that the numbness doesn't last, though. Because I'm not feeling much of anything at the moment, and it's really hard to make myself do anything for me. I guess it's really awful because we don't even have a course of treatment yet, so it's still a great unknown. That's really scary.

missaprylj: It is a great vacation. I just need to convince myself to pack my bags, as it were.

linJber: Seems like most of the advice is that I just have to tell myself to do it, and then follow through. I bet it's much easier once I start, so I'll go put my gym clothes on. Maybe that's half the battle.