100 lb. Club - Revenge Weight Gain?
09-10-2012, 04:22 PM
I just read the thread about revenge weight loss, and it made me think about how a lot of the weight I gained was "revenge weight gain." I gained a lot of weight a few years ago and kept it on until 1 1/2 years ago. There were initially medical reasons for the start of my weight gain, but I think that I continued to gain weight because of an emotional reaction to traumatic relationships that had ended with a few people (some of the ended relationships were related and some were not). As I gained weight and began to look different, I almost felt a sense of security - kind of like I was going into hibernation or hiding. I was morphing into a different person who my past enemies no longer knew - my outer appearance was becoming as unrecognizable as I hoped my inner self was becoming to my former friends. I didn't want them to know me anymore. It was like wearing a disguise or a costume of fat. The phenomenon of becoming more invisible the larger I got confirmed my theory that I was safe from recognition by foes - people simply didn't notice me anymore and I liked it. However, soon the health effects of my gain began to take their toll, and the realization that I didn't like the "fat version of me" in the mirror also prompted me to want to start losing weight. I also realized that I wasn't fooling anyone by changing my outer appearance - people saw me and knew who I was. I realized that the important place to change and safeguard was my heart and soul - not disguise it - but secure it. Feeling emotionally secure is all about strengthening the inside not the outside.
Anyone else gain revenge weight?
09-10-2012, 06:58 PM
I think so, but for slightly different reasons. It seems that whenever I get down to a certain weight, I experience a lot of harassment from men -- strangers on public transportation, customers at work, even coworkers-- and it reaches a point where I subconsciously gain the weight back just so they'll leave me alone. It's like safety weight or protection weight. Like screw you, you won't notice me now! But actually just an even creepier class of man starts harassing me.
I feel very depressed right now. I just went to the grocery store looking as ugly as possible because I didn't feel like being bothered -- sweats, hair in bun, no makeup, body language saying "leave me alone" and still, bothered by unknown men.
Sometimes it makes me want to move to the suburbs and drive everywhere and stop working in a customer service field. Or just gain revenge weight.
09-10-2012, 09:47 PM
I have a friends who was a little heavy in her early 30s and then lost weight and looked fabulous and had an affair with a married man. She ended it and gained a huge amount of weight back - far exceeding what her prior weight was. She admitted that staying fat kept her from doing it again and it was a sort of punishment she had to bear. There is no logic to what out emotions "force" us to do.
09-11-2012, 10:42 AM
I don't want to mention the specifics, so this post isn't going to make much sense. But yes, I belive I do this also. I use my weight as an excuse to not do something, and I'm secretly afraid (or not so secretly to myself) that this thing won't happen after I lose the weight either. When I was down to 199 in 2008, the situation had not changed. So if I lose again, and it doesn't change, then I don't know how to deal with it emotionally.
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