[BusyB]

My hubby has lost 60lbs and is basically at his ideal weight. His doctor compliments him, ever where we go people tell him how great he looks, its been great for him. I'm very proud!

I have lost 56, I'm only half way to my goal, no one ever tells me I look good.

We went to a BBQ yesterday, everyone was asking him how he has done it, compliments left and right, not one person mentioned my weight loss.

I'm not trying to be jealous, but, its discouraging when you feel like no one can see the progress you've made. It's like "I'm still so fat that no one can tell I've lost over 50 lbs!".

Again, I'm very happy for my husband, I'm just frustrated in myself.

[Vex]

Don't be discouraged! I actually had the same thing happen to me. My husband lost 100 lbs and was the recipient of all the same comments. I might as well as been spilled milk on the floor.

It will happen for you. I didn't really start to get comments until around 210. What's important is that YOU see and feel the difference, which I'm sure you do having lost over 50 lbs.

Be careful what you ask for too. Pretty soon you'll start getting the comments that you're losing too much!

[gailr42]

Last time I dieted, I lost 50 lbs, which is a lot for someone my size. To me, the fifty pounds made a huge difference, but not one person noticed. Even my DH, who knew I was dieting, couldn't see any difference. I was really discouraged.

Sometimes it is very difficult, but we need to believe that we are worth it, and that we are making important life-style changes for ourselves, not anyone else.

Having said that, You are awesome to have lost all that weight. Good job, and don't get discouraged.

[SerenityDiva]

That happens to me! I do get discouraged or disappointed rather, but I think a lot of times people don't say anything because they don't want to be remotely considered rude about noticing you were heavier before (I hope that makes sense).

Fifty-six is AWESOME and I'm sure you look AND FEEL different! You are doing great and at some point someone IRL is going to do a double take and give you the most fantastic compliment that will send you flying high

[carter]

When I had been on my plan for a year and lost about 55 pounds, I went out to lunch with my group from work. A fellow in the group had also lost about 55 pounds, and he did in fact look quite trim and good. The group gushed over him through the whole lunch. No one said a word about my loss.

You just have to suck it up when stuff like this happens. If you have a lot to lose, then it will take longer for the change to be noticed. That's just how volume change works. (Search this forum for "Paper Towel theory" for a nice intuitive explanation of why.) Also, even if people notice, they may be wary of commenting, because women can often be touchier about their weight than men are, and no one wants to risk offending you.

For what it's worth, I had a sort of switch flip when I reached 75-80 pounds gone - people suddenly started commenting much more frequently.

Be patient. You'll get there, and YOU will know there is a difference. Make that what matters most, because it's the only thing you can control over.

[Bellamack]

56 lbs is Awesome! Just go try to carry around a 50 lb bag of potatoes for a day, you probably couldn't even do it! You have improved your health soooo much. Men need more "puffing-up" than woman, you just come here and get your "puffing"... YOU are doing Fantastic!

[KittyKatFan]

I went through something similar.

I had lost around 80 or so, but only one or two people at work noticed because my boss, who had lost less, got all the compliments. She is considerably shorter and smaller than me, and since I was still new at work, she was the one who got the attention. I was disappointed, but also somehow more motivated by being ignored.

The compliments started very suddenly for me, and once they started, they came in bunches. Probably not until 3 months ago, when I was hovering around 100 pounds lost. It was strange: no one says anything, then all of a sudden I would get multiple comments in a day!

Don't be discouraged about it. I think people may notice, but they don't want to say anything because they want to be absolutely sure so they don't embarrass you (or more importantly, themselves!). I also find that clothes play a big role. As I think back, the compliments typically come after I buy new, tighter-fitting clothes that make the difference more obvious. I kept wearing my baggy clothes for quite some time, so maybe the weight loss was hidden. Now, without fail, every time I buy new clothes, I will get several compliments on my weight loss. It seems counterintuitive to me that tighter clothes make weight loss more obvious, but it is true.

Finally, it might be the male/female thing. Whether it is true or not, the belief is that women are more sensitive about their weight than men are, so maybe people are more comfortable saying something to your husband. Is he taller than you? Tall people do appear to have lost more than they have because they can carry more weight. I do thank my parents for the Tall Gene...

Just keep going, and before long your husband will get jealous with all of the compliments you will be getting

[BusyB]

Talk about great feedback! I'm glad I posted this, everyone's weight loss is definitely motivating. Plus, I've never heard the paper towel analagy but its great!

My husband is a few inches shorter than I am, but we were around his childhood friends (30+ years), so that may have played a big part in their 'comfort level' and bringing it up.

My family, of course, never says anything about it to either of us.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, sometimes its just comforting to know your not the only one going thru this stuff!

[HungryHungryHippo]

Congrats on your very impressive weight losss!!
I second what KittyKat said--sometimes people hesitate to complement women on weight loss, because talking about a woman's weight at all can be touchy. This weekend I went somewhere and wore a bathing suit--and got complimented on my (unchanged) hair! ;-)

[worththeeffort2]

Here's to you, BusyB! Congratulations on losing 56 pounds and keep up the fantastic work.

Try not to get discouraged by the failure of others to mention the changes taking place for you. What is most important is for you to embrace and celebrate your success while knowing your're doing fantastic things for your health, your body, and your life.

Great job! We're all so proud of you!

[Vex]

As I think back, the compliments typically come after I buy new, tighter-fitting clothes that make the difference more obvious. I kept wearing my baggy clothes for quite some time, so maybe the weight loss was hidden

This statement is very true. I forced myself to make the switch from 3x one day to an xl and what a difference it made!

[Steph7409]

Originally Posted by HungryHungryHippo

This weekend I went somewhere and wore a bathing suit--and got complimented on my (unchanged) hair! ;-)

This has happened to me as well. It's like they know something's different but can't quite figure out what.

I agree with those who have said that complimenting a woman on her weight loss can be tricky, so sometimes people opt for silence. I know some of my co-workers were concerned I was ill when they started noticing I had lost weight.

Compliments are great and all, but the most important part is how you feel. You've done really well, so i hope you feel great about yourself!

[Candeka]

From different posts on this site, I have learned that a lot of women actually don't like to be complimented on their weight loss and seem to find almost any reason to complain about how a comment was phrased. Unless you are almost at goal weight, I can see people not wanting to offend you since their seems to be some very hypersensitive women when it comes to those things!

As you said, your husband is at a good healthy range now, which means when you reach that point, you will have people rushing just to compliment you! In a lot of cases, sometimes losing the first 50 pounds is FAR less noticeable then losing the next 20 pounds. You might just be at that point where people are noticing, but are not 100% sure and do not want to offend you or make the mistake.

[sontaikle]

Originally Posted by KittyKatFan

The compliments started very suddenly for me, and once they started, they came in bunches. Probably not until 3 months ago, when I was hovering around 100 pounds lost. It was strange: no one says anything, then all of a sudden I would get multiple comments in a day!

Same thing happened to me. While people at my gym noticed just before I hit 170, for some reason I got SO MANY compliments the exact day I hit 140. I don't know what it was, but I got so much of: "OH MY GOD YOU LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT YOU LOOK AMAZING." on that day. Strange!

[Hotaruchan]

If it makes you feel any better, I lost about 30 lbs before August and no one said a word at work...I went back after summer vacation (where I'd lost a miserable 5 lbs) and suddenly everyone's worried that I'm sick or not eating right because I "look like I've lost so much weight!" Yeah, zero percent chance that was on purpose...or that it's been going on since June...