Living Maintenance - "I wish someone had told me..."




View Full Version : "I wish someone had told me..."


dancingirl81
09-01-2012, 06:09 PM
I'm nearing the end...I'm not sure, but I might already be there. However, the prospect of maintenance scares me. This all got me thinking... for those of you that have been at this maintenance thing for a bit, what things do you wish you had known at the beginning of your maintenance? Things that you've learned by trial and error or just wise comments from others that have helped you with this phase of things?


bargoo
09-01-2012, 07:13 PM
When I got to goal I asked those who had maintained for a period of time how they did it. The answer amazed me, they replied "we keep it off the same way we took it off" . they obviously knew something I didn't so I took their advice . I still count calories, still keep a food diary, still plan my menus ahead of time, still weigh daily and it works.
Welcome to maintainers.

sontaikle
09-01-2012, 10:18 PM
I only recently discovered that 95% of places will just give you a cup of hot water for free. I now carry tea bags with me all the time.

This seems like a silly thing, but has made my life amazingly easier since I freeze in so many places that crank up the AC and I just can't see paying $3 for hot water with the same tea bags I have at home (and a couple of bucks has bought me 100 of them).

It's the movie theaters I've had issue with: but as long as you show up with your own cup to put hot water in, they don't care. Otherwise just about every eatery serves tea and the workers never question me (or charge me) when I ask for hot water.


kaplods
09-01-2012, 10:26 PM
I wish someone had told me that maintenance begins with the first pound.

All of my life, I really took for granted the unconscious messages I'd been taught that only "goal weight" mattered, an d that's when maintenance would begin.

I'm succeeding as never before. I've lost more, and kept it off longer than any time in my life, ever. Even though the weight loss is slower, it's been a journey almost completely free of backsliding. Oh, there've been small gains here and there, but fluctuation is a more accurate label than backslide. I never backslid, because I never gave up long enough for a small gain to become a bigger one.

The main way "this time" has been different is that I vowed from the very start, that I would commit to maintenance first and foremost ("not gaining" was and is more important to me than losing).

I don't fear backsliding anymore, because I know that as long as I put "not gaining" first, backsliding really is impossible. If I ever forget that "not gaining" is as important or more important than what I have lost or could lose, then backsliding will be the result.

Unfortunately we're encouraged to believe (by seeing how "everyone does weight loss") that only goal weight matters. When we feel that we can't get to goal, we feel helpless and think "what's the use, I'm always going to be fat, and if I'm going to be fat no matter what I do, I might as well at least get to eat what I want."

We think it because we don't say or stress the importance of maintenance from the very first pound. Instead we say, "I've blown it today, I'm going to start fresh tomorrow (or Monday)." The "blown it" words and thoughts only make sense if we believe that only being perfect matters, that only losing matters - and that the journey isn't as important as the destination, and you're either at your destination or you're not.

As a culture, we've decided that weight loss is pass/fail. You're either a success or a failure, and there is no in-between, and it's why so many fail. When they see they can't "pass" then the decide to stop fighting the "fail."

It's part of the reason so many people let a gain of a few pounds become a full regain before doing something about it - they don't see the success of the weight they HAVE kept off.

This time I consciously chose to see the all of the successes, not just the final one. And when I gained a pound or ten (because I can gain ten pounds just in PMS/TOM water weight gain) I didn't say (as I had in the past), "I'm failing, no matter what I do, I can't help but fail, why is failing inevitable."

Instead, I decided, every day to celebrate the weight loss I have maintained, no matter what it was. So when I'd lost 25 lbs, and gained 5, I didn't panic or torture myself over the 5 lb gain, I celebrated the 20 lb loss I had maintained and vowed to get back at least to the 25 lb loss point again.

And I never would have imagined getting to the 105 lb loss point. The most I'd lost without prescription appetite suppressants was about 55 to 60 lbs (and even then only twice, usually I'd never get more than 30 off).

Acheivement breeds acheivement. We know this in most fields. In very few other situations in life, do we beat ourselves up for "failing" as we do in weight loss (especially when we're actually succeeding, but just choosing to see the failure rather than the success).

Celebrating what I have maintained, and making sure that I see maintenance as MORE important than weight loss, has kept me going for 105 lbs, and will keep me going for at least another 105 lbs.

I choose to practice maintenance now, and stress to myself that keeping the wieght off is far, far, far more important than getting it off. So there is going to be no change when I get to my goal weight (or for that matter, if I never get there).

That last bit is perhaps the most important part. In the past, I only saw the goal weight as mattering, so when I felt like the goal was unacheivable, then it felt that what I was doing was pointless. Now, I know that even if I never lose another ounce, it doesn't detract a bit from the acheivement I have accomplished, nor negate the legitimacy of keeping my prize. Every pound matters, and so even if I never lose another ounce, there's still incredible value in keeping off what I've lost so far - and that's what I never felt before. I never felt that anything but goal weight was worth snot. Now I know that every pound I have kept off is a treasure worth keeping, and to do that I have to see "not gaining" as a very high priority.

It's also great to feel successful. Reminding myself every day that I've lost more than 100 lbs and that even if I accomplish no more, that 100lbs is worth defending.... every one of those pounds is worth defending.

I think if all saw maintenance as more important than loss, and dedicated ourselves to maintenance from the very first pound, the success rate of weight loss would be very different.

shcirerf
09-02-2012, 01:02 AM
I wish someone had told me that maintenance begins with the first pound.

All of my life, I really took for granted the unconscious messages I'd been taught that only "goal weight" mattered, an d that's when maintenance would begin.

I'm succeeding as never before. I've lost more, and kept it off longer than any time in my life, ever. Even though the weight loss is slower, it's been a journey almost completely free of backsliding. Oh, there've been small gains here and there, but fluctuation is a more accurate label than backslide. I never backslid, because I never gave up long enough for a small gain to become a bigger one.

The main way "this time" has been different is that I vowed from the very start, that I would commit to maintenance first and foremost ("not gaining" was and is more important to me than losing).

I don't fear backsliding anymore, because I know that as long as I put "not gaining" first, backsliding really is impossible. If I ever forget that "not gaining" is as important or more important than what I have lost or could lose, then backsliding will be the result.

Unfortunately we're encouraged to believe (by seeing how "everyone does weight loss") that only goal weight matters. When we feel that we can't get to goal, we feel helpless and think "what's the use, I'm always going to be fat, and if I'm going to be fat no matter what I do, I might as well at least get to eat what I want."

We think it because we don't say or stress the importance of maintenance from the very first pound. Instead we say, "I've blown it today, I'm going to start fresh tomorrow (or Monday)." The "blown it" words and thoughts only make sense if we believe that only being perfect matters, that only losing matters - and that the journey isn't as important as the destination, and you're either at your destination or you're not.

As a culture, we've decided that weight loss is pass/fail. You're either a success or a failure, and there is no in-between, and it's why so many fail. When they see they can't "pass" then the decide to stop fighting the "fail."

It's part of the reason so many people let a gain of a few pounds become a full regain before doing something about it - they don't see the success of the weight they HAVE kept off.

This time I consciously chose to see the all of the successes, not just the final one. And when I gained a pound or ten (because I can gain ten pounds just in PMS/TOM water weight gain) I didn't say (as I had in the past), "I'm failing, no matter what I do, I can't help but fail, why is failing inevitable."

Instead, I decided, every day to celebrate the weight loss I have maintained, no matter what it was. So when I'd lost 25 lbs, and gained 5, I didn't panic or torture myself over the 5 lb gain, I celebrated the 20 lb loss I had maintained and vowed to get back at least to the 25 lb loss point again.

And I never would have imagined getting to the 105 lb loss point. The most I'd lost without prescription appetite suppressants was about 55 to 60 lbs (and even then only twice, usually I'd never get more than 30 off).

Acheivement breeds acheivement. We know this in most fields. In very few other situations in life, do we beat ourselves up for "failing" as we do in weight loss (especially when we're actually succeeding, but just choosing to see the failure rather than the success).

Celebrating what I have maintained, and making sure that I see maintenance as MORE important than weight loss, has kept me going for 105 lbs, and will keep me going for at least another 105 lbs.

I choose to practice maintenance now, and stress to myself that keeping the wieght off is far, far, far more important than getting it off. So there is going to be no change when I get to my goal weight (or for that matter, if I never get there).

That last bit is perhaps the most important part. In the past, I only saw the goal weight as mattering, so when I felt like the goal was unacheivable, then it felt that what I was doing was pointless. Now, I know that even if I never lose another ounce, it doesn't detract a bit from the acheivement I have accomplished, nor negate the legitimacy of keeping my prize. Every pound matters, and so even if I never lose another ounce, there's still incredible value in keeping off what I've lost so far - and that's what I never felt before. I never felt that anything but goal weight was worth snot. Now I know that every pound I have kept off is a treasure worth keeping, and to do that I have to see "not gaining" as a very high priority.

It's also great to feel successful. Reminding myself every day that I've lost more than 100 lbs and that even if I accomplish no more, that 100lbs is worth defending.... every one of those pounds is worth defending.

I think if all saw maintenance as more important than loss, and dedicated ourselves to maintenance from the very first pound, the success rate of weight loss would be very different.

LIKE!

For myself, the last time I went back, to WW, I decided, this time, I didn't care how long it took me to lose it, I was more concerned with maintaining.

It's been a long, slow journey, but so much more enjoyable.

I am approaching a year of maintaining. Because I took the slow approach, it's been much more stress free, and easier to manage.

I still track my food and exercise. I work out on a regular basis. For the record, I strength train. I still go to my Weight Watchers meeting every week.
I need that. That is what works for me.

Honestly, Kaplods has given you the best advice you could ever get. I'm not going to second guess her wisdom! Actually, her wisdom, is why I'm still hanging in there, and doing what I know works for me!

:hug: to Kaplods!

Prim2012
09-02-2012, 03:54 PM
...As a culture, we've decided that weight loss is pass/fail. You're either a success or a failure, and there is no in-between, and it's why so many fail. When they see they can't "pass" then the decide to stop fighting the "fail."

It's part of the reason so many people let a gain of a few pounds become a full regain before doing something about it - they don't see the success of the weight they HAVE kept off.

This time I consciously chose to see the all of the successes, not just the final one. And when I gained a pound or ten (because I can gain ten pounds just in PMS/TOM water weight gain) I didn't say (as I had in the past), "I'm failing, no matter what I do, I can't help but fail, why is failing inevitable."

Instead, I decided, every day to celebrate the weight loss I have maintained, no matter what it was. So when I'd lost 25 lbs, and gained 5, I didn't panic or torture myself over the 5 lb gain, I celebrated the 20 lb loss I had maintained and vowed to get back at least to the 25 lb loss point again...


I needed this today.:hug:

melodymist
09-18-2012, 03:08 AM
Maintenance is harder for me than when I took it off. When I lsot weight, I lived on the "high" of losing pounds "Whoo -5pounds". Now it is a struggle just to keep those number on the scale the same weekly.

But eventhough this is hard now, I'd much rather choose maintenance hard over being overweight and sad hard.

Remind yourself every single day of how far you have come!

InATizzy
09-18-2012, 07:00 AM
Weigh everyday and don't stop exercising. I kept 20lbs off for 2 years but have since put 34 lbs back on over the last 7 years.

Mudpie
09-18-2012, 07:53 AM
What kaplods said - wise words!

Dagmar :dizzy: