100 lb. Club - Tiny Little Vent




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RJR
08-18-2012, 10:41 AM
I seem to lose in whooshes. I'm annoyed by the fact that when I whoosh I hear "Oh goodness you must not be eating enough, are you starving yourself?"

No, I'm not, but thanks for the concern!! Grrr.

That's all :(


bargoo
08-18-2012, 10:44 AM
I lose that way, too. I go days, weeks, sometimes and don't lose and then "whoosh". Try to ignore those kinds of remarks.

synger
08-18-2012, 11:13 AM
I find I have a cycle. No loss, no loss, period, then a whoosh of a couple pounds. No loss, no loss, period, then a whoosh.

that's when I'm solidly on-plan, of course. Most of the time, I'm just content not to regain...


RJR
08-18-2012, 11:26 AM
After my period was my last whoosh the weekend before last :) Then I gained a bit (I think mostly water because I was so swollen in my hands and feet) over last weekend in new york city, and now I seem to be whooshing again.

kaplods
08-18-2012, 11:50 AM
There's just so much misinformation, magical thinking and hokus pokus, and urban legend out there masking as "common wisdom" when it comes to weight loss (and just about everything else).

I try to remember that it's not just about weight loss, the craziness is out there on just about every topic (put butter on a burn, Febreze kills household pets...).

Some of them are truths, twisted (such as that CocoCola will dissolve the eggshell of an egg.... from what I understand, it absolutely will, but so will any food acid so orange juice or vinegar would work just as well or that Febreze thing apparently can be harmful to pet birds, but apparently spraying anything even light cologne or cooking spray in the same room can kill them because birds are known to have very delicate respiratory systems).

And then there's also rationale, but conflucting opinions.

We're really culturally conditioned to take offense at some topics such as parenting, weight loss, appeareance, finances, religion, politics, sexual behavior (though the last three are becoming less and less taboo) and yet to be completely neutral or even positive about even the most outrageous of comments and advice on other topics (music, art, literature, hobbies, entertainment, food...).

On some topics you can even call a person an idiot to their face for having an extreme opinion and they'll just laugh.


I don't get annoyed so much by weight loss commentary as I once did, because I don't take it personally. I just store it with all the other bits of useless advice and "wisdom" that was passed down to me, along with "feed a cold and starve a fever," "to get rid of a wart, have someone give you a penny for it," to using an apple stem to determine the initials of your husband or using a banana as a magic 8-ball (ask the banana a Y/N question and then cut it cross-wise if you can't see a Y in the cross-section, your answer is no).


I also avoid sharing too specific information with the people I'm not willing to listen to. If I don't want to hear their opinion, I don't let them know what's going on... or I choose carefully how I say it.

Currently I also lose in whooshes, but not rapidly enough for anyone to have criticised my speed. Instead, because I lose slowly, I'm more apt to hear people trying to give me advice on how to speed up my weight loss, or telling me that if I don't get serious and buckle down so I can lose faster, I'll never lose the weight."

There are people who will question every morsel I put in my mouth "Is that on your diet, can you have that?" I tell those people I'm not dieting (because I'm not). They may say "aren't you afraid of gaining it back," and I'll say "I haven't had a significant gain for eight years, I think I have a handle on the not gaining part."

I usually don't get annoyed any more though, because it's not worth it to me. Stress only makes my weight loss harder, so I avoid even the smallest stressors. I turn the topic into a joke if I can (even if I'm only laughing at the person inside my head).

My favorite is when people tell me that I'm going to get discouraged and give up because I weigh daily. I laugh out loud at that one. I tell them, I can only get discouraged if I expect events that aren't likely to occur. If I get angry at the scale or myself because I don't see a loss each and every day, then yep I'm going to be discouraged by the scale. However, if the scale reading meets or exceeds my expectations, then tada nothing to be discouraged about.

You can't be discouraged if you're not disappointed. Culturally we've been taught to be disappointed and discouraged when it comes to weight loss. We're taught to be hypersensitive to even the slightest criticism or any comment even a compliment that we can twist into a criticism (saying I look great today and noticing the weight loss means you thought I was a disgusting cow before). We're taught to expect much more rapid weight loss than is normal (but we're also never really told what normal really is... we're encouraged to believe it's at least 1 lb per week, but the truth is most people trying to lose weight don't lose even one pound in a month, so why are we taught to be discouraged with anything less than 1 lb per week, each and every week).

The culture of weight loss almost demands that we be in a constant state of annoyance and discouragement. In fact, if we're do not admit to being disappointed and discouraged people will look at us funny as if we're delusional or accuse us of being in denial or tell us that we're doomed to failure.

We're taught to be so pessimistic and negative, it's no wonder no one wants to stay the course. We make weight loss so miserable, only a glutton for punishment would ever consider sticking with it in the long term.

I know I'm getting up on my soapbox here, but I failed at weight loss for over three decades before learning that I didn't have to be in a constant state of disappointment, discouragement and annoyance. In fact, I could be virtually negative-feeling-free if I wanted to be. If I didn't take other people's ignorance personally. If I didn't see sabotage in every offer of food. If I refused to be discouraged by a stall or plateau (I wasn't failing at losing, I was succeeding at maintenance).

I just think that where weight loss is concerend, we're taught to feel irritated, annoyed, discouraged, disappointed, frustrated, even resentful (it's just so unfair)... And I think we're taught to wrap so much misery into the wieght loss attempt that only a masochist would sign up for the long haul.

I know this sounds like an over-reaction, especially since sometimes venting serves a useful purpose (I hope so, or I've just completely wasted my time here), it just is also very sad that we're not taught to do the opposite. We're not taught to think about how lucky we are to have it compared to the people who're having a harder time than we are. We see all the people doing better than us, but almost never look over our shoulders to glance at the people who are trailing in our dusts. In fact, we're not really even supposed to talk about the people who aren't succeeding... to the point that most of us aren't even aware that losing 1 lb a month is an accomplishment most people who want to, don't accomplish.

I had to have my doctor remind me of that (at near my highest weight I was only able to lose about a pound a month and my doctor lit into me when I complained that I wasn't losing at least 1 to 2 lbs like a normal person, pointing out that most people don't lose a pound a month, they lose nothing or they gain).

When I can see that even my own opinions about weight loss are often idiotic, I can't be too harsh on other folks for having idiotic opinions. I can just try to laugh at all of us, and realize that I can only be discouraged if I choose it. I can choose to be excited and encouraged (not quite as easily as the negative emotions I was taught to have, but I still can choose).

berryblondeboys
08-18-2012, 01:29 PM
And people (here included) don't notice when you'll be at a standstill. They'll just notice the "wow, 4 pounds in a week!" or whatever the amount is. And not notice the zero pounds lost for the prior two weeks.

ParadiseFalls
08-18-2012, 09:07 PM
I know what you mean. This just came up in another thread (maybe you were part of it...) Sometimes people say if you lose a pound or more overnight it absolutely must be water weight because you can't have burned 3,500 calories in a day, but I think it's pretty clear that while yes, weight loss is about calories in vs. out, it doesn't work that simply when it comes to scale reflection. I often go three or four days at a weight-loss calorie deficit and won't see even .2 come off the scale, and then my next weigh-in is 2.4 down, sometimes more if I've been retaining water or something, but it is "real" weight. Bodies are weird! What can ya do? I, for one, can enjoy my whooshes :D

SmallSteps
08-19-2012, 09:43 PM
Usually the people that are asking that questions are the "sabotagers" who can't stand to see you succeed because they are failures.