Weight Loss Support - How do you handle food issues?
Mer du Japon
08-08-2012, 08:57 PM
Tonight when my boyfriend got home he said he wanted to order one or two large pizzas from papa johns. No big deal for him-he is a lean athletic soccer player. I instantly wanted pizza even though I already ate my allotted calories for the day. I started to think that I would allow myself just 1-2 pieces but I knew that I would end up binging- eating more in the middle of the night or morning-no self control. I started freaking out, so afraid of messing up my plan.
I kind of broke down and started crying and saying I couldn't handle having it in the house at this point (4 weeks into diet). He said okay and invited me for sushi instead. I don't eat sushi so I ordered pork potstickers and fried pineapple cream cheese wontons. I ate 3 potstickers and 3 wontons. It wasn't until after that I googled it on my phone and realized just how bad those wontons were for me.
I was instantly in a horrible, *****y mood and was totally unpleasant the rest of dinner. I feel horrible now about what I ate AND how I acted. He was disappointed we weren't able to enjoy a fun dinner together.
How do you handle things when tempted with bad foods or when your food plan gets thrown off track? Food and emotions can be so connected, I'm trying to learn to not let it ruin my moods.
08-08-2012, 09:19 PM
First I would ask for cooperation and support from your boyfriend, You can still have fun meals together , but not pizza and sounds like sushi is out....at least the fried pineapple a wontons. Pick a few choices that you know you both will enjoy and next time he wants to do this pick one of your choices, but don't eat all your calories before dinner.Just takes a little planning.
08-08-2012, 09:54 PM
Mer, I can completely relate to how you feel. I actually had my own personal "episode" or shall I say breakdown last night about my eating guilt for that day. But ya know what, that next morning, I woke up, and got right back on the horse. I told myself that as long as I do better the next day, all is well. So what, you ate a few wontons? No biggie. Tomorrow is a new day where you can and will do better!
Mer du Japon
08-08-2012, 10:01 PM
Thanks for the support! I just feel like ive come so far, I panic when I mess up, it's such a crappy feeling.
Tomorrow is a new day, you are right. I will be back on track.
08-08-2012, 10:15 PM
My boyfriend and I go through this really often. He can eat a lot more than I can!!! So we've come up with a few options:
1. We PLAN pizza nights so I can make room for it in my daily schedule. And we don't order meat on the pizza to help keep the calories down!
2. We make our own pizza! With a gluten free crust and healthy toppings, the food definitely doesn't taste like Papa John's but the activity is fun to do with one another. ... Or really... cook anything together!
3. Make a list of places in the area that have options you love and that are (moderately) healthy - so the next time he wants to go out you can look at the list and decide where to you.
But most importantly you need to be super communicative with your significant other. Let him know how hard this is and that you need him to be on board with this really important new life!
It's hard not to break down and not to give in to good food. Look things up before you eat them and plan plan plan! Tomorrow is a new day. :)
Mer du Japon
08-08-2012, 10:30 PM
Thanks Katie, great tips!
08-09-2012, 12:08 AM
You and your boyfriend don't necessarily have to eat together. Plan for some meals to be eaten together, but if you're on totally different eating schedules then it's fine. Not every meal needs to be eaten with another person.
My fiance and I eat completely differently. He prefers to eat later in the day and have one or two large meals, while I prefer to eat smaller meals earlier in the day. We usually meet in the middle: my last meal and his first are eaten at the same time. He keeps eating throughout the day while I have finished.
When your calories are finished you need to remember that you have more calories available tomorrow. Anything out and available to eat is not going to never be available again. You can have it tomorrow, but I bet that you'll forget about it the next day :)
08-09-2012, 08:24 AM
this is what i hate about diets. food is such a social thing, and in a lot of places, about love. aside from craving, this is why i always end up eating the bad stuff together with him..i don't want to feel like i'm giving him the cold shoulder if i say "no". (if that makes any sense)
08-09-2012, 09:35 AM
What everyone else said is great advice:
Don't kick yourself when you don't stick to your plan perfectly. You can always start fresh at the next meal.
Don't deprive yourself. Once in awhile, it's really great to relax your standards. Just don't let it happen often. I had a 3-dinner-out week which was fun. But I paid for it with weight. I'm back on track now.
Don't be afraid to say "no thanks" and point out that you've already reached your daily limit. Then ask if you can plan something for the next day and then you can plan for it (eat sensibly all day, look up calories for where you're planning on going before you go so you can order wisely, etc. (sometimes I find that doing this, and knowing what I'm going to get before I even get there is helpful to keep me focused)).
My husband has had to adapt to the concept of "I've already had all my points today" or accept it when I decline meals because it's being served too late at night. Not that it doesn't irk him sometimes, and not that it doesn't cause problems and arguments when he thinks I'm being unreasonable. I have to stick to my guns, though, because in the end, it's me who ends up having to deal with the consequences, not him. What he's been forced to do is consider my needs more often, and accept where I'm at, even if he doesn't necessarily agree. My husband is lean and doesn't struggle with weight. He never has. He eats nothing but junk, so I don't expect him to really get it. KWIM?
I think your boyfriend will understand. If he doesn't, well, that's his problem, not yours. He's not the one who will suffer the consequences. It sounds like he's pretty supportive, though, since he was willing to go for sushi instead of pizza. Next time it'll be up to you to just make smarter menu choices. A quick calorie search while sitting at the table is a fine way to do it. How did people get by before the smart phone?
08-09-2012, 11:44 AM
Personally, I think what's kept me on track is dating someone who also has food issues or at least has struggled with weight before. I also have to just ignore the "bad foods" and accept that they're going to be there when I decide it's time to indulge in them. I have a running list of "reasonable" things to order at X type of restaurant, and I happen to follow a style of eating that means dinner is always my biggest meal of the day...because I like going out to dinner and not having to hold back too much.
08-09-2012, 10:36 PM
For me, the way I handled it is to say there are no bad foods. Yes, I have to plan for things, and yes I've gone a little over from time to time. However, never too badly and it's not every day. I eat exactly what I want. Hubs likes to order pizza, I've switched from a supreme or deluxe to veggie lover's. But I still will order a pizza most times, other times, a salad.
If I go out to eat, I ask for a box as soon as they bring the food. That way, it's out of sight and out of mind. I only eat what I want/should and have the rest for another meal later.
Am I losing weight fast? Nope. But, this is something I will have no problem maintaining forever and ever.
Did you go over what you'd planned? Yep. Is it the end of the world? Nope. You'll know next time that you'll need to plan better next time, or it may be better for you to avoid them all together.