[LOSINGFORGOOD2010]

Good morning all......... Just had to pop on here and vent a bit.... my second son will be sworn in at the end of Aug and will officially be a member of the Cdn Forces! He leaves on Sept 1 for basic training....that is my second son that has enlisted. Now.. I will have NO kids left at home... empty nest. And while I read some women CELEBRATE that... I cannot, and dont understand that concept?? I am THRILLED for him, for both of them..they have a secure, safe job, good wages, full benefits... will see the world... you WANT this for your kids...especially young men..right? You want to see them confident in themselves... and successful. I by no means wanted them living at home way into thier twenties ...so yes, I sound all mixed up. But now.......it will be just me and my boyfreind of 16 years... and it will be an adjustment for me. I will not dwell on this... I will try to keep busy...but i have to say... this has started to throw me into bursts of uncontrollable eating fits... while not huge amounts of carbs... still not avoiding them... bread, maybe a slice here and there... pizza? 1-2 slices... cheese and wine almost each evening!!!!! mostly cheese....... i feel ugly and horrible and sad.... i have not gone on the scale in about one week... but from my most controlled weight of 167 I have jumped to near 180. I am scared. Scared to totally let go and be in my fat clothes again... I know I am realizing this now... and this is a good sign as I can still stop it... but then my emotions get going again......... look at me going on and on...... probably putting some of you to sleep LOL...... anyways... I will get control of this disease of emotional eating... I will try my best... today is a new day. 2 hard boiled eggs for breakfast, light muscle milk and salad for lunch, fish and cucumbers for supper and will NOT have my cheese in the evening.... (will try hard anyways) and just have my protien cereal......... have a great day everyone... my apologies for the long post. I wish all of you much success, as it DOES work... thanks for listening