Weight Loss Support - Do you still think of yourself as bigger than you really are?




KittyKatFan
07-21-2012, 05:12 PM
I was thinking of buying one of those balance thingies that you stand on (not sure what they are called) or one of those big plastic balls you can sit on and do exercises on. But then I thought I would pop them because I was so huge. Then I realized that I'm not so huge anymore and would probably do just fine on it.

I was worrying because I have to travel on business this coming week and I had to take a Southwest flight. I worry that I will be kicked off the flight or be forced to buy two seats because of SW's anti-fat policies. I also worried about making sure unpack my belt extender. But now I realize that I no longer need an extender, and I probably won't even e noticed for my size when I get on board.

I'm doing an icebreaker for a team session in a couple of weeks where it would be a contest. My boss suggested that I go to Foot Locker and buy a referee shirt to make it funny. My first thought was that it was stupid. My second thought s that there probably isn't a shirt that would fit e because I'm so big. Then I realized that I can wear a men's XL now and am close to a men's large.

I am still in the mindset that I am enormous. While I am not yet "normal" weight, I'm not the same size I once was, yet I have a hard time remembering that.

Is anybody lse still adjusting their mindset?


Garnet2727
07-21-2012, 05:19 PM
I am right there with you. My body image is so distorted that I think that I'm bigger than I was even at my highest weight! When I look in the mirror, I see all the weight I need to lose; not the weight that I've lost.

Vex
07-21-2012, 05:20 PM
I specifically do not fly southwest because I don't like how they treat some of their overweight passengers. Asking someone to wear an extender is fine - degrading them in front of other people is not.

I just flew on Delta about a month ago at 204 and had more than enough room in my seat belt, so I'm sure you'll be fine. I didn't need an extender at 281 either, but it was pretty dang snug.


dancingirl81
07-21-2012, 05:21 PM
I literally was just thinking about this too... Glad its not just me...

starbrite
07-21-2012, 05:22 PM
Since losing half of my body weight (300-150) I have serious problems with this. Bought a skirt in a size 4-6 (I was a 26) still feels weird after being at this size for a year. Be kind to yourself, major life adjustment really needs some time. :hug:

IsobelRose22
07-21-2012, 05:47 PM
You're not alone trust me! Today I was talking to my mum. The one thing you have to understand is that my mum lost a whole load of weight, regained it, then lost it again and she has successfully kept it off for 5 years. It sounds weird but my ideal is my mums figure (not so strange perhaps as we have the exact same, build, height, physique etc) today she said "I think you're now smaller than me" AND I DIDN'T BELIEVE HER! I don't know why, as she's very honest, brutally honest you might say, she's definitely not afraid of offending or causing a scene (out of love obviously, she's been nothing but supportive and helpful of my weight loss.)

I know that I'm not smaller than her if the scale is anything to go by, but after thinking about it, I do A LOT of exercise, so much so, that many people comment on how slim and toned I look. despite all the comments, I don't believe them, thats how screwed my body image is at the moment. I still think I'm the same size as your average hippo, even though common sense tells me I'm not. I think it takes time, and the amount of time it takes is different for everyone. Maybe, for me that'll happen when I'm at my ultimate goal of 160lbs. Who knows.

LockItUp
07-21-2012, 06:06 PM
Oh yes! My body image is very odd. Some days I feel like I look really great, maybe not entire days, but parts of the day. Then I'll catch a glimpse of myself and feel terrible and think I look exactly the same as I used to. Then some days I feel awful and huge and then see myself in the mirror and barely recognize myself. I don't think I ever truly see myself for the way I am. I hope one day I will. But then again, when I was bigger I didn't know I was as big as I was. I knew I was obese, and looked fat, and I dressed in very baggy clothes to cover myself; but when I see pictures of back then I am in horror of how big I actually was.

I don't really understand exactly how that works -- how does one not really see oneself the way they really are; whether that be bigger or smaller than reality. It fascinates me (and frustrates me).

Justwant2Bhealthy
07-21-2012, 06:07 PM
I am still in the mindset that I am enormous. While I am not yet "normal" weight, I'm not the same size I once was, yet I have a hard time remembering that.

My DH says I do this too -- still think of myself as larger than I am. I know that I still hesitate & wonder if I can sit on certain things (chairs, etc) like the opening post. It may be becuz I know that I still have lots of weight to lose yet, but I know it will take time for me to adjust to the smaller & lighter me ... :D


I'm the same size as your average hippo.

ISOBEL ~ now, you see -- that comment is very telling. How you saw yourself before and how you still see yourself now. This is sad really; that we compare ourselves to animals that we don't really look like at all. My goodness, you are such a pretty young lady! It is possible that your exercising has toned you up so much that you do look trimmer than your mother (so believe her).

Steph7409
07-21-2012, 07:43 PM
Like LockItUp said, I never saw myself as being as big as I was, and that inability to see myself continues now. I just posted then and now pics over in the mini goal thread and looking at myself from a year ago is a bit horrifying.

I still feel like me, only lighter - not necessarily smaller, if that makes any sense. A couple of months ago, I was at my brother's house and it was chilly, so my sister in law gave me a jacket and I thought - no way this will fit me, she's a normal-sized person! But it did fit. I occasionally ask my young, slim co-workers to stand next to me at the bathroom sinks so I can compare myself to them. Luckily for me, they're very nice and don't roll their eyes at me!

I think the passing of time will help, but I think a lot of us are going to have ongoing trouble with this.

Hotaruchan
07-21-2012, 08:00 PM
I know the feeling...I haven't lost nearly as much as most people having this issue (I'm only just over 25 lbs so far), but I think my body image to start may have been worse than a lot of people's. Everyone in my family was big growing up, but my parents always picked on me about it more (even though I was smaller than my brother) and told me that I'd be 400 lbs in no time if I didn't "cut it out." Mind you the "it" that I was supposed to be cutting was eating the same things and amounts as everyone else while being the only one in the house with active hobbies like softball and basketball. I've been cheated on in 5 out of my 8 relationships and while questioning where I'd gone wrong, inevitably the thing that I would come upon was how fat and unattractive I am.

At my highest I was a little over 200 lbs...not massive, but I certainly felt that way. I have extremely wide shoulders after years of competitive swimming, so every time I tried to buy shirts, I'd need to get them 3-4 sizes larger than my pants...the first time I had to buy a shirt in the plus section, I think that cemented the image of me being a narwhal firmly in my mind.

It blows my mind that I'm 30 lbs less than 200 now, and I still see girls in the 230-250 range losing fast and get disappointed in myself for not keeping up with them. While I was never even actually that close to 250 (I think the highest number I saw was 207 on an badly calibrated scale that was usually 3-5 lbs high), somehow I have the image that it's not that far off from me even though it's actually 80 lbs away.

sontaikle
07-21-2012, 08:04 PM
I'm slowly recognizing my size, but I'm not quite there yet (nor do I ever expect to be).

I went clothes shopping today and just like any other time I go, I always worry that when I go to the dressing room or when I go to the register that the clerks will think: "wtf is she doing with a size 0?"

I can pick out my size for the most part...ok, that's not true entirely. I grabbed a size 0 in the clearance rack that I totally expected NOT to fit in a million years because it looked so small and it wound up fitting nicely.

savetheb
07-21-2012, 08:33 PM
I am right there with you. My body image is so distorted that I think that I'm bigger than I was even at my highest weight! When I look in the mirror, I see all the weight I need to lose; not the weight that I've lost.


That was utterly profound.

ValRock
07-21-2012, 08:54 PM
I'm struggling with this big time, right now.

I keep buying clothes that are too big, because I can't wrap my head around my actual size. I feel like I'm cheating somehow. I don't know how else to explain it. The person I see in the mirror, and my clothing size don't match....

I wish what I see would catch up. It's playing games with my head lately :(.

toastedsmoke
07-21-2012, 09:12 PM
This is me too! Last time I went shopping, I couldn't find a size I wanted to try on the rack and so the sales assistant asked what size I needed and I was embarrassed to say, in case they burst out laughing and said "YOU??? A size X????"

I have moments when I feel smaller. Like when I see myself in pictures, but in the mirror, I always think I look like I have a long way to go. The funny thing is at my heaviest it was the reverse and I was less picky about things like how my stomach looked or my thighs... I didn't really notice. I do now though, unfortunately. Hopefully my mind catches up soon. It's not fun.

MissD
07-22-2012, 05:10 AM
I had exactly this problem yesterday. I was ordering some clothes online, and had put a bunch of UK size 16s in my basket. Then I thought, "I'll just check the size charts in case I need an 18...", only to find I needed a size 10. I got my hubby to check because I didn't belive it. I am 30 or so pounds lighter, so why I think I am still the same size as I was when I stared loosing I have no idea.

It concerns me slightly that my body image is this warped. I wonder of folks who have always been healthy weight have a similar problem?

LeilaJey
07-22-2012, 11:02 AM
Yes! I'm really struggling with this right now and I'm not sure why. I keep thinking that I'm huge now and how big I must have been before and why didn't I notice? It's really getting me down. I keep looking at small clothes and numbers that fit now but it's not clicking yet. Well onwards and downwards I suppose!

MissD
07-22-2012, 12:06 PM
Yes! I'm really struggling with this right now and I'm not sure why. I keep thinking that I'm huge now and how big I must have been before and why didn't I notice? It's really getting me down. I keep looking at small clothes and numbers that fit now but it's not clicking yet. Well onwards and downwards I suppose!

Off topic, but Leila, I just noticed your ticker and you and I started at about the same weight, have the same goal, and are the same height. We also seem to have lost at about the same rate. How spooky! :D

Laneyy
07-22-2012, 12:57 PM
I am right there with you. My body image is so distorted that I think that I'm bigger than I was even at my highest weight! When I look in the mirror, I see all the weight I need to lose; not the weight that I've lost.

This.

I went shopping with one of my guy friends (I think we were in American Eagle or something), and grabbed a pair of size 14 jeans and held them up. I was going to try them on, and he says wait. He grabs a pair of 12s and hands them to me, saying that I should try them on, too, because they will fit. I'm thinking I won't even be able to get them above my thighs, they look so tiny. Lo and behold, Guy Friend was right, the 14s were too big, and the 12s fit perfectly.

But I still have that mentality that I look like a size 18, even though I KNOW I'm not that big anymore. It's just a lot to get used to.

But in the mirror, I see all of the flab I have left, I see my stretch marks, I see everything I still have, but nothing that I've lost. I do see my collar bones now, which definitely is an improvement, so that's something.

funnycanadiangirl
07-22-2012, 03:58 PM
So glad other people feel this way. I went to Vegas with one of my best friends who knew me when I was my heaviest. We ended up having a really long conversation about how uncomfortable I am with how I look and how hard it is to shop with the picture I have of myself in my head.

I want to feel attractive and admire my own hard work, but I don't.

camper67
07-22-2012, 08:47 PM
oh my goodness....I am so glad to have come across this post. I saw pictures of myself recently and had so many of the same feelings. I still don't like my body, even 57 lbs lighter. I still see rolls, lumps, sagging skin etc. I go shopping and think something must be wrong with their sizing since I can't possibly wear a size 10 now! I had to return several things over the past year because they were just too big and I was afraid they would be too tight! My brain hasn't caught up with what I weigh, but I still can't stand the way I look. I often wonder how much I would have to lose to truly like myself.

luckystreak
07-22-2012, 08:54 PM
I love my body but sometimes (most of the time) I still think I'm chubby. Everyone around me swears that I'm not anymore at all but all my life I've been chubby and so I just still thnk that I am.

mirax3
07-22-2012, 09:09 PM
Is it really weird that I kind of have the exact opposite? I am so happy that I've lost weight that I see myself as smaller than I am. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know, but I sure do get a wake up call when I see a picture and realize I still have more work to do!!

Orchestrated
07-22-2012, 09:11 PM
Yeah - I've been overweight for the vast majority of my life so I definitely still identify as the moderately to quite overweight one.

Also, I am an extreme pear shape, so although I'm in a normal weight range, my pant size has only decreased by one size even after 40 pounds lost!! (went from 12-14 to 10-12). It's hard for me to understand that a lot of that is the fact that I've built a lot of muscle in my legs as well.

Elladorine
07-22-2012, 09:46 PM
I've spent the majority of my life in a size 24, but several years back I was somewhere beyond a 30. I think I spent that time still feeling like I was a 24 even though I switched jeans out for stretch pants since they were "more comfortable."

Once I got myself back down to a 24 (which took nearly 100 pounds of losses), I felt like I hadn't lost much of anything. Even though I had the proof right in front of me, even when I directly compared photos I felt like I'd been the same all my life and that the 360-pound me was an absolute stranger.

I just got down to a size 20 for the first time in 12 years. As I pick up my smaller jeans and slide them up over my hips, they feel way too small to be able to fasten over my stomach (my problem area), but somehow they do. It's surreal. I get the impression that I'll continue to feel like a 24 even after I make a lot more progress. :dizzy:

LeilaJey
07-31-2012, 03:50 PM
Off topic, but Leila, I just noticed your ticker and you and I started at about the same weight, have the same goal, and are the same height. We also seem to have lost at about the same rate. How spooky! :D

Just saw this - haha, spooky indeed! Well, way to go :)

guacamole
07-31-2012, 04:07 PM
I still see myself as heavy and I feel heavy too. I have a family reunion in two weeks and I am really freaked out that people are going to see me looking so chunky! It doesn't matter that the last time they all saw me I was around 200 lbs and there is a difference in my appearance between then and now. I still feel as if I am at my high weight! Logically, I feel better - my joints don't ache as much, my blood pressure is now normal, I don't have the stomach/digestion issues I used to have. However, I still feel flabby and like I have a giant gut and a saggy double chin. I still don't like seeing myself in photos - and there will be picture taking galore! Wish I knew how to change my perception.

Thousandsunny
07-31-2012, 06:31 PM
I am right there with you. My body image is so distorted that I think that I'm bigger than I was even at my highest weight! When I look in the mirror, I see all the weight I need to lose; not the weight that I've lost.


This pretty much sums up me too. Also, the irrational fears, like fears of not fitting somewhere or such. I was terrified during a recent trip to 6-flags because I thought I wouldn't fit in the seats even now. I just can't see myself as smaller. All I see are giant thighs and chicken-wing arms!

Madame Souza
07-31-2012, 07:45 PM
Oh, wow, I think my body image is totally warped. I agree with the person who said they only see the weight they need to loose and not the weight they have lost. I usually feel pretty great in clothes but when I am not clothed, all I can see is my wrinkly lumpy stomach. It doesn't look smaller then it was when I started but it must be because I have gone down many pants sizes. When I look at my arms or legs, I think they look pretty toned and good. When I look at old pictures of my face, I notice that it is rounder looking
I can usually identify if something will fit me by looking at it on the rack. I am choosing my size by sight so I must somehow be registering my weight loss.
I think in some areas of my body, I can recognise and appreciate the progress and not in others.

FunSize
08-01-2012, 02:14 AM
Sometimes I have the opposite problem. I can easily convince myself I am smaller than what I actually am.
My weight has yo-yo'd my whole life I think I get confused!

kateleestar
08-01-2012, 01:43 PM
Oh, is this SO something I've been dealing with recently. I ask my DH all the time 'am I smaller than her?' or 'am I bigger than her?' trying to wrap my head around what size I look like when I'm not in my head, lol.. Most of the time it takes some convincing to believe what I look like, as the people he says I resemble size wise I dont think I do AT ALL, lol.. poor DH.

Smiling_Sara
08-01-2012, 03:55 PM
Sometimes, I think I have the opposite problem. I look in the mirror and think, hey I look pretty good, not big at all. Then I'll see a photo and think, there is no way I look like that, cause I look so different in the mirror! :)

ilidawn
08-01-2012, 05:08 PM
It depends on the day. Some days I look in the mirror thinking I lost weight but find I gained and other days I feel like I look 300+ pounds. I don't know why but even though I got to a size 18 from 24 I don't feel or see in the mirror any difference! I still feel like I mat my largest even when I'm back to my high school size. Makes it hard to stay motivated

ikesgirl80
08-02-2012, 12:28 AM
I've also always been obese, at my heaviest, superobese (which is bigger than morbidly obese according to the site I use). I was 350 pounds, size 28 pants and 30/32 tops. Now I am under 220, size 14/16 pants and XL top. When I look at my clothes, I'm in shock at how small I am, and that I still have 60 pounds to go! I can't imagine wearing anything smaller than what I do now, but I can't imagine I can lose 60 more pounds and still wear the same size.

A month or so ago, I went into Lane Bryant, and grabbed the biggest and the smallest jeans they sell. When I put on the 28's, I looked in the mirror and actually said OUT LOUD, "Now, if these still fit, don't get upset." I put them on, turned to the mirror and let go of the pants, they dropped straight to the ground, and I about cried. That's when I knew my brain was messed up. How could I not see it? Since that day, I make it a point to notice every change and enjoy every thing, cuz that is what will help me not regain.

The 14's? Almost fit, although, the 14's at Old Navy fit me, so I don't worry.

No more Lane Bryant for me, except for bras :)

alaskanlaughter
08-02-2012, 02:37 AM
ive lost 40 pounds, from 230 down to 190 (and i even saw 189 after TOM)...alot of the time i still feel exactly the same weight, because i think i've shrunk proportionally and now i'm just a smaller apple shape LOL...but then i'll look at myself in the gym wall mirrors and see that i DO look much much smaller, my legs look WAY smaller and i can feel my stomach getting flatter...weirdly enough, i can FEEL that my stomach is smaller although i dont always think it looks like it in the mirror

a few months ago we went camping, taking a skiff out to a remote island...my BIL gave me a float coat to wear and i looked at it and thought "there's NO WAY i can fit that" but decided to give it a shot because there were no other life preservers on board....to my total surprise, it fit tight and zipped up snug the way it is supposed to...i was absolutely shocked!

it's been awhile since i looked at my reflection and thought i look huge...but i'll criticize myself in the mirror on my flabby stomach or batwing arms :(

like someone said, it's far easier to see whats left to lose, than what's already been lost....i did a photo comparison from the start of my weight loss journey and my face is WAY WAYYY slimmer now...but i'm still trying to realize that

ACPotter88
08-03-2012, 12:17 AM
When I was 16, I wore a size 20. Back in January, I started working in a chiropracters office that offers the Ideal Protein diet and eventually decided to start the program myself. I was that size 20 8-years ago. When I started my job, I was 168lbs and a size 14. Now i'm between a size 6 and 8, but everytime I look in the mirror, I still have the mindset of a size 20. I see that i'm alot smaller and I know that I can pull off wearing clothes that I never dreamt of, but I still wish there were certain parts of me that were smaller and more toned. I keep getting compliments but never really know how to respond to them. These are coming from patients that I work with. Its my job to be positive and show them that it really works, and it does, but subconsciously, I still feel stuck between a 14 and a 20.
Now, I've only been on the program for 3 months. It is going to take me more time to truly adapt to my size. I hope it happens. :/

MyLilSweetPeas
08-03-2012, 01:38 AM
I wonder of folks who have always been healthy weight have a similar problem?

I can only speak for myself here. I have had a similar problem but it was right opposite. For a very long time I would pick clothes off the racks that were too small because I didn't see myself as being that big. I knew I had gained weight but it really didn't "click" in my head. It was that way up until about 5 years ago when I got pregnant with my 4th son. I was big before that but it really hit me when I got pregnant. I was pregnant with twins and my stomach really ballooned out with the first part of the pregnancy. Although one twin died in utero at 13 weeks, the weight really packed on and after giving birth I just have not been able to get rid of the stomach. Having my stomach balloon out really made reality set in because I had not ever had much of a stomach until then. Now i do see myself as big and I'm sure it will take a long time for me to reverse that mindset.