At this point..I feel like I will truly be overweight the rest of my life. To make a long story short I've been overweight [obese really] all my life. I managed to get down to 180 from 250 over the span of my teenage years, got pregnant, got back up to 250, got down to 210 over the course of a year, got down to 190 in March of this year now I'm back to 210. I feel as if I have totally given up hope. I feel defeated by food and my own negative thinking. I'm stuck at this point and I'm not sure how to get out of this rut. I'm constantly thinking 'oh, I've come this far, I deserve a little break'. Then I overeat, overeat, overeat and say 'it's ok, I can start over tomorrow'. But of course tomorrow never comes. I'm so tired of being this way but I don't know how to stop. I don't know where to start. I hate looking this way, feeling out of energy, barely being able to keep up with my son, getting out of breath just walking up and down the stairs. I'm only 20 yrs old and it's just embarrassing. I honestly do not want to spend the rest of my life this way, but it's like I've accepted it as an inevitability at this point..I know I have an addiction to food but I don't know what to do about it. My social anxiety keeps me away from going to things like OA and I really have no one to share this with or relate to..I guess what I'm looking for is some words of wisdom, or encouragement. I'd really like to hear if any of you have been at this point before, and what you did to get over it. Thanks for reading..I appreciate your responses :)
07-19-2012, 07:42 PM
I can totally relate. For the first tike in my life i feel in control. Ive accepted the fact that this is a lifelong journey. No magic pill. No quick fix. I went to an OA meeting a yr ago and felt more alone. Youll get there. Dont give up hun
07-19-2012, 08:09 PM
Yes I have been there even to the point of saying to myself what's the use? It's a mind thing just as much as it is a physical thing at least for me. I used to go on crash diets and that hurt more than it helped. The last fad diet I did was the cabbage soup diet. Silly I know. Anyway, I made it all the way to night two and I had pizza, apple pie and ice cream because I felt like I was starving and deprived. After that I felt like such a failure and like I would always be obese. I felt like I was a tiny person trapped in this big body that I created through years of wrong choices. Then about a month ago I found this site and was lurking around looking at the goal stories and the pictures. It made me realize that it is totally possible! I just have to want it bad enough to do the work and make the right changes to my diet. I realized it wouldn't be a quick change and the fad diets would not be a part of my life changes, after all, those hadn't worked for me anyway. I decided to do something I had never done before and that is count calories. Let me tell you, YOU CAN DO THIS! You just have to work everyday to get back in that mindset. That part has really been a struggle for me but actually getting myself physically moving helped me with that. Also, don't let yourself get so hungry that you feel like you're starving and deprived. Drinking lots of water and eating lean meats, lots of veggies, 100% whole wheat bread ( and fruit all helps with this. Just do a little and a little more each day to get yourself going again. You haven't gained back all the weight you lost and even if you had it still wouldn't be too late. It's a big stretch from 210 to 245! You're still ahead of the game. Just take it in 5-10 lb increments and you'll do great! You can do this so don't give up! One thing that I have read here several times that has really stuck with me each day is one year from now you will be glad you started today.
07-19-2012, 08:13 PM
I used to weigh 256--and have lost over 100 pounds...I started losing around your age actually--I am 34 now. Don't me me wrong I have had three 30 pound regains in the last 10 years (when things got stressful-cancer, another re-gain when my mom died....). No one is perfect. The fact that you have ALREADY had a substantial weight loss is REALLY the most important step--because you know you can do it. Just hang in there! Your gonna be OK....!
I would like to ask you though--what are you eating and do you prepare all your own meals? (learning to cook is the ONLY thing that made me stay sucssesful). I love burritos, quesadillas, pizzas (made on low-carb tortillas), chili, burgers....there are a MILLION ways to cut TONS of calories, fat and carbs and food still TASTE amazing!!!
PM me anytime if you want some recepies or need someone to talk to....!
07-19-2012, 08:24 PM
I have been there many times, the feeling of hopelessness, but I always ask myself what is is the alternative,giving up? No we have to keep going no matter how many times we try and fail. Maybe one day we will try and succeed,but we will not find out if we don't try. There is always hope, keep working at it don't give up!!!
07-19-2012, 09:36 PM
I give up hope every other day.
07-19-2012, 09:42 PM
You may say that you feel like it is hopeless, but maybe subconsciously you don't believe that - because you're here on this forum, right? You're looking for support and answers, which IMO means you are not ready to throw in the towel! :)
There have been times when I have felt totally discouraged about my weight and my life. Just this past weekend, I started thinking that maybe I will be ready to date again and that some guy might actually be interested in me one of these days. But then I read some forums online that said someone my age will be totally overlooked because guys my age only want women who are 25 :(. So I felt depressed about the possibility of being alone forever. Like you, I have all sorts of social anxiety and it is hard for me to meet anyone, romantic or not.
But I still have some optimism. I have lost more than 120 pounds. I have done that before and regained. But this time, I have come to an important realization: this struggle will last forever. I cannot take a break. I can have a day where I treat myself, but I cannot have a string of those days. I must exercise. I must grow up and take responsibility for my health.
You are still young. I urge you to tackle this problem once and for all while you still have your youth. Do it for your son. It is not easy, trust me, but you CAN do this. Best of luck.
07-19-2012, 10:33 PM
"I'm constantly thinking 'oh, I've come this far, I deserve a little break'. Then I overeat, overeat, overeat and say 'it's ok, I can start over tomorrow'. But of course tomorrow never comes."
First of all, you're almost halfway to your goal, so you're doing GOOD! Second, maybe instead of "dieting," you can look for permanent changes that you don't mind making. Like adding fruits and veggies. Or giving up full-fat dairy products, or whatever. Then there's no more stopping and starting.
My heart goes out to you. I've totally felt helpless / hopeless before.
07-20-2012, 12:02 AM
Never give up!
It is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Totally doable. Not only do you deserve it and owe it to yourself, you need to pay it forward to you children and future generations!
I know how tough it is. My mom is obese, and lots of it in the family, along with cholesterol, and diabetes, and all the other things that go along with a lifetime of obesity, no exercise, and so forth.
I struggle with it every day, but I am determined to not go out that way!
07-20-2012, 12:33 PM
It pains me to read about someone already losing hope at such a young age; you're not the only one to struggle and you still have a lot of positive life experiences ahead of you, regardless of your weight. I struggled when I was young too, and lost a good amount of weight when I was 19. Gained it all back and then some though. Lost a major amount one other time in my life 12 years ago; gained it all back plus another 100 pounds when I was with my first boyfriend, leaving me well over 200 pounds overweight! I realized I had to do something and started to make changes.
Since then, I wanted to at least get back to my lifetime average of 250. That took me years, but I finally arrived last summer. It didn't last long. When winter came, I gave up hope due to being extremely stressed out over family problems and other issues, and I decided I needed a "break" too. And promptly gained nearly 25 pounds, the only major gain I've had in the past 8 years. :o This past March I decided I couldn't allow myself to gain any further. I gave myself a healthy change in attitude and my body is starting to follow suit. ;)
The thing is that you have to realize you can't take breaks. Why? You don't deserve them. And yes, you read that right! What you do deserve is a healthier body. You are worth taking care of yourself, you are worth going the extra mile to figure out positive changes you can stick with for life. The kind of "break" you're talking about doesn't do anything positive for your body or even your spirit, it just temporarily distracts or numbs whatever experiences you're currently going through.
What personally helped me this time around was buying a journal and writing down everything that I eat. I don't track calories, I don't count points, I just make sure I'm aware of portion sizes and do my best to make healthy choices. My personal trigger is sugar, so I avoid that and other processed carbs as much as possible as they increase my hunger. I try to eat a lot of veggies, some fruit, some lean meats, some dairy, and a little healthy fat (olive oil, walnuts, flax, etc.). I do allow myself treats but I plan for them, like having one (and only one!) slice of cake at a party and making up for it the next day by cutting back on something else. That's why journaling works so well in my case, it not only helps me stay accountable and gauge my progress, it allows me to see how I'm doing each week and make adjustments as I go, if necessary. Others prefer using online journals or trackers, and that works too! The key is finding something that works for you, something that you're comfortable at sticking with. :) And remember that you're in this for life! Your health is the single most precious gift you can give to yourself and your family. You don't even have to make every change you need to make all at once, take baby steps (once again, the journaling/tracking can really help there). Find ways to reward yourself without food! I put a sticker on every day I stay on plan, lol.
You can do this! Check back with us often, read success stories, vent if you need to. We're all in the same boat. :)
07-21-2012, 11:45 AM
wow, thank you guys. some of your words have really inspired me :') just need to think what my first step will be..