Weight Loss Support - What do you think / say when people try to get you to eat like them




KarenMI
07-15-2012, 04:03 PM
What do you tell yourself, or tell other people, when they make fun of your new eating habits or try to get you to eat what they're eating?


BusyB
07-15-2012, 04:23 PM
We went to dinner last night with friends, they gave us some grief about all the special request we made when ordering dinner (grill the seafood dry, steamed veg instead of potato etc) but after we all laughed about it they said "seriously, you guys look great, ordering with all the special instructions has been good to you".

Sometimes we turn those comments into a joke, sometimes we just ignore it, sometimes I say yes, that would taste good but I should stay on my plan...

I think the response is different based on who is giving you a hard time.

I know the people who work for my husband have made jokes about how he never eats anymore, but he just explains that he eats, it's just things we make at home ( they have a lot of lunch meetings that are catered). He has been getting questions about which diet fad he is on, then he tells them how he eats whatever he wants, they get frustrated/jealous. I told him that he should explain better, we eat spaghetti and meatballs, but every ingredient is low cal, fat free, home made etc.

sontaikle
07-15-2012, 04:40 PM
Stick with it! Don't let them get to you. Eventually when results become apparent people will realize that whatever you're doing is working and maybe they should shut the **** up. Or they may bother you further...it's hard to say and it depends on the individuals you surround yourself with.

I don't have time for these people anymore. Getting made fun of for my food choices kept me fat longer than it should have and food pushers derailed me more times than should have occurred. It's tough, but you need to have a spine and defend your lifestyle and have the guts to withstand the food pushers.

Don't back down and yell if you have to. I've done it. I've yelled at my mother because she kept offering me something I didn't want and I've even been nasty to members of my fiance's family because they wouldn't leave me alone about eating something.

You'll be deemed rude, you might lose friends, and you'll annoy people. Those people aren't worth it. YOU are worth it. Don't keep up appearances by sacrificing your health.


nextsummer
07-15-2012, 04:46 PM
I tell people who criticize or try to screw my diet up that I'm happy that way of eating is working for them but my body chemistry is different. I am very happy on my diet bc I'm in control of my cravings and am losing weight slowly and healthily.

Arctic Mama
07-15-2012, 05:59 PM
I say 'no thank you, I'm not hungry'. I continue politely with that and try not to give in. I've gotten much better about that in the last year than I used to be, but it takes practice and commitment to stick to your guns.

daniprice
07-15-2012, 06:16 PM
I just say " No Thanks, I'm good." I'm following Weight Watchers, but very few people know. I also tend to keep my conversations with the server quiet. I'll say. I have a question...and they usually move to be right at my side. Then I handle all my ordering so no one really hears anyway.

I didn't really want people to know because I don't really want any comments about what I'm eating. I don't really have too manu food pushers in my life. The people who assign themselves watchdogs of anyone who is on a diet get on my nerves the most. "Oh look! She's eating a brownie. Bet that isn't part of her diet."

Actually I was having pancakes once and my sister (who does know) said "Not following the plan today huh?" And I just said "Oh yes I am, this is going right on my tracker and it is accounted for."

I'm just one for everyone minding their own business and staying out of each other's plates.

linJber
07-15-2012, 06:17 PM
I agree with Taryl - No Thanks works really well - no added explanation needed. That keeps us from getting all preachy about our healthy ways - LOL. I can tend to do that. Once in a while, I'll say more. If someone has really gotten on my nerves about it. I was at a party where there were several people I hadn't seen since I lost weight. Two sisters of my friend were asking me what I did to lose, so I told them I cut back on junk, ate lots of veggies and salads, etc., and joined a gym. One told me I really should go with lo fat salad dressing if I ate a salad every night - the calories add up. (I had just commented that I don't like most "diet" salad dressings.) The other proceeded to tell me what type of exercise I should do. Both these girls could lose 75+ pounds. They ate an entire container of chip dip and chips while we talked. I just said, "You guys can stick to your plan and see how it goes. I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing since it seems to work for me." A bit snarky, but sometimes you have to let them know.

That said, no one has made fun of how I eat. I've been asked if I'm going to "eat like this" forever. Or when I'm going to go back to eating the way I used to (to me, that is the stupidest thing to ask!) People seem surprised to learn that how I eat now is "normal." Portions are small, food is nutritious, and there's very little room for junk. Duh. We wouldn't be in this situation if "supersize everything" was normal.

Good luck. Don't cave in to them. Hold your ground. The answers will be obvious soon enough.

Lin

kelly315
07-15-2012, 06:22 PM
It's relatively easy for me, since I'm obese. The first few times I lost weight I didn't want anyone to know I was doing it (I was embarrassed and didn't want to face what they'd say) but now I just usually do something like pat my belly and say (lightly) something like- "working on my health." Most people, I've found, respect the candidness and self-confidence to assert your own needs.

scout83
07-15-2012, 07:56 PM
I say very little to others about it, other than a "no thanks" or to closer friends, a "I'm trying to eat healthier." If they are respectful and ask for more info, I'm happy to to talk but otherwise, I don't offer more information. I've had a good friend roll her eyes when I've mentioned my weight loss and healthy eating efforts, and it really hurt me. With her, I'm very careful with the subject. Particularly after a couple negative reactions with her, I make sure to tell myself that I'm doing what's best for me and that I'm doing a great job. My weight loss isn't about her. I also journal (paper journal) about reactions of folks as well as my own feelings on my weight loss journey-- that's really helped me focus on ME not on others. Support is important, to give and to get, but if some folks can't manage it, well, it says more about them than it does about me. I just keep up the good work getting healthy.

And kelly315 has a good point, most people respect a simple and clear health goal if they can see you need to lose weight. I think it'd be trickier if it wasn't clear, gosh, I see someone super skinny talking about losing weight and sometimes feel like screaming. But I don't :)

Chubbygirl253
07-15-2012, 09:07 PM
for the most part people are good about dropping the subject when they hear that. Especially if they were one of the people who thought i really should do something about my weight.

I have one friend who is very overweight but she won't talk about weightloss, diet, exercise, or anything related. when the subject comes up (about me, not her) she rolls her eyes and changes the subject. When I lost almost 70 lbs in 2007 she even stopped talking to me for a while. I think this has much more to do with her and her feelings about her own weight than anything to do with me. I try to be respectful of her feelings and not bring it up constantly. I know repetative chatter about diet and exercise and a running commentary of the WW points equivalent of every bite that goes into my mouth is like fingers on a chalkboard to her. Last Saturday our scrapbooking group got together and this friend wanted to do a potluck instead of sack lunches. I knew I could potentially get off track so I brought my own sack lunch anyway. I did catch a few eye rolls from this particular friend but for the most part the group understood and really didn't seem to care much that I wasn't indulging. I stayed on plan and I felt so much better about doing my own thing. I wasn't even tempted by all no-no potluck dishes.

you have to do what is right for you. decline politely, but don't feel pressured into eating what you know you shouldn't.

dancinginpaint
07-15-2012, 09:21 PM
Just like other posters, I am polite until they've reached the point of pushy. Luckily I don't have too much experience with food pushers. I do try to stay strong while eating out. I try to take pride in my selection so i'll be less inclined to feel defeated or bad if they say something.

KarenMI
07-15-2012, 09:54 PM
Lots of great input (and hopefully more to come). Thanks!!

twinieten
07-15-2012, 10:17 PM
I haven't had too much experience with food pushers. I can assume that it's usually because if it's there, I eat it whether on plan or not! I eat it to not hurt feelings. I eat it because I want it. I eat it because I'm hungry, or because it's there. Whatever the reason.... I eat it.

There have been a couple of times, though, that I've declined ("no thanks") or I've even just been sneaky.

This friend from work kept bringing me juice that he made in his juicer, usually grape juice, and I'd drink it because it was good and because he made it. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He'd also bring me chocolate, and other tasty treats. My compliments only got me more, so I started pouring the juice down the sink when he wasn't around, and throwing away the other stuff. He'd bring me more, about weekly, so I'd tell him I'm trying to lose weight. When that didn't work, I finally I told him that I didn't calculate the item in to my daily calories, and I'd drink it tomorrow. Or I'd just decline it and say it was really nice of him but I already calculated my calories for the day and it won't fit. He got the message and the treats stopped. I felt like in this case it was necessary to bring to bring up diet and calories. I realize in other cases, such an explanation might backfire.

Then more recently was this work occasion where I let people see me take a bite of cake, complimented the coworker who made it from scratch, but then slipped it off of my plate with a napkin and put it in my purse (yes, in my purse) until I could throw it away. That way, everyone would see an empty plate and think I ate it.

It's not the first time I've filled my plate and I've discreetly disposed of what's on it in some way so people think I ate something or ate more than I did. Among those who pay attention. It's just easier.

I've gotten myself in to more trouble by just commenting on food myself. Not even in response to food pushing. Like when they have some particularly yummy dessert in the cafeteria, and I say "oh that looks so good" and then comment on the reasons why I can't have it. Most people don't want to hear it, and listening to people go on and on about calories, diets and losing weight can get really old really fast anyways. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I decided to stop talking about my diet. Now I just don't say anything at all, and it's much better that way. They pay less attention to what I'm doing, and I don't feel obligated to eat something just because they are.

ERHR
07-15-2012, 11:04 PM
"No thank you. No, thank you. Really, no, but thank you."

And sometimes I talk about how happy I am having broken my addiction to sugar and how I have no desire for it any longer.

astrophe
07-16-2012, 10:36 AM
Depends on who it is.

Sometimes I just ignore or say "No thanks" if it comes up.

Other times I tell a small white lie like "Yeah... doc wants me to watch cholesterol." Because which doc DOESN'T?

If I feel the need to explain to a mega food pusher or the person is curious I'll go with "prediabetes" -- because that is what insulin resistance is and I really don't feel like going all into the PCOS/IR/Syndrome X / hypothyroid thing. But most people have at least heard of the word "diabetes" so they back off and leave me alone.

A.

JossFit
07-16-2012, 12:26 PM
Over the years the comments have come and gone, but anymore a simple "No thank you" works for me. If someone insists on being pushy or making snarky comments, I'll ask them straight out; "Why do you feel it's appropriate for you to make comments about my dietary choices? Have I ever made any comments about YOURS?"

Usually that shuts them up.

ICUwishing
07-16-2012, 01:55 PM
Joss - brilliant! If that doesn't end the conversation completely, one is truly dealing with a Neanderthal who's incapable of manners or comprehension. There simply cannot be a reasonable answer to that question. Love it!

Katbot24
07-16-2012, 02:20 PM
Since I moved out last year my parents think I'm starving and/or subsisting on cheap, low quality food, so whenever they go out with me or have me over they try to force their "quality" food down my gullet. I've mentioned before that my dad doesn't believe in fish or vegetables or most ethnic food (no indian, greek, thai, chinese, only japanese, no fish tho! only teriyaki meat and noodles! and continental foods) so my choices are often limited to meat, starches and cheeses. They were MORTIFIED when I had a hummus dip when I was out with them once, and flabbergasted when I wanted a chicken pita wrap from Opa! (415 calories, so good) at a food court instead of burgers or japanese noodle bowls.

"Why do you eat such weird stuff now? Bean paste? That can't be tasty, you don't have to get cheap food, we're paying for it"

They also think I'm insane for gashing my food budget by $20 to buy a good food box (a box filled with 3 varieties of fruit, 7 varieties of veg and a grain) from my university once every 2 weeks.

"$20 can buy you a package of 6 chicken breasts! That's 3 nights of chicken!" (My dad thinks that 2 chicken breasts for supper is conservative)

Saying anything back just aggravates them and makes them talk louder and faster at me. So I let them say their piece and still make my food choices. In the end of the day, only I can decide what to put in my mouth. So what other people say makes little difference to me.

krampus
07-16-2012, 02:28 PM
I'm bad at saying "no," so I try to only hang out with health-conscious people.

love2hike
07-16-2012, 02:34 PM
I am pretty open about being on Weight Watchers so if someone is offering food that I don't want to eat, I just laugh and say "I'd love to but I think that would cost me about a thousand points on Weight Watchers!" Most people are really respectful of my food choices. Recently three of my friends have joined WW because they see how it well is working for me.

mimsyborogoves
07-16-2012, 03:28 PM
My boyfriend is one of these people, not that he pushes food on me, but his definition and my definition of "full" are two different things. I still eat whatever I want; I just eat less and since I've lost weight, it takes less for me to get full. Sometimes it's hard for him to understand that, but I think after awhile he'll get used to it. You just have to ignore the remarks sometimes.

mirax3
07-16-2012, 04:01 PM
In my culture, pushing food on people is pretty mandatory. If you don't push food on people it is viewed as being rude. It is equally as rude to not accept the food that is being offered. I've combated this by sitting down with each member of my family and friends and telling them exactly what I am doing and that when I say that I do not want it, please do not force it on me. They've been pretty good about it and have even tried adopting healthier eating as a result. Still though, it can be hard with the people who just don't give up! In that case I say "no, thank you" and walk away from the situation. In the end, they are not the ones who will have to deal with the number on the scale in the morning.

TamTam
07-16-2012, 04:29 PM
What an awesome subject. I read every reply! I think food pushers do so because a good bit of them are control freaks-THEY have to be in control and that means control of YOU! I agree with you all, it's their personality flaws and good for you all to stand up to them. I had a lady who was in TOPS with me and she is a very pushy, authoritative person, she kept nagging me about getting to skinny, and you must be at goal because you cannot possible want to lose more weight, etc. Well in the first place it was none of her business what my goal weight was or how much I wanted to lose and I was BY NO MEANS TOO SKINNY! So I would just tell her I was at goal to shut her up. I also think food pushers are jealous that you are doing well and they may not be, they may not even realize how resentful they are of you, but deep down they resent you. So great job ladies of standing up for yourselves!!!:hug:

luckystreak
07-16-2012, 04:45 PM
What do you tell yourself, or tell other people, when they make fun of your new eating habits or try to get you to eat what they're eating?

I get really attidue-y. Cant help it but its rude of them to be so nosey lol. If someone says like "oh come on" when I don't want to eat something terrible for myself I simply just say "I want to be fit. Sorry." Usually shuts my friends up lol

linJber
07-16-2012, 07:31 PM
I've been thinking about this thread for 2 days now. I realize the only people who push food at me are people who could stand to lose weight themselves! My heritage is Italian - stereotypically big food pushers. But not in my family. It's just my friends who are heavy. I think this tells a tale in itself.

And I agree with Joss - Turning the statement back on them usually quiets them right down. I had to do this last summer. Three friends (sisters) came to me and made a point of telling me I had to stop losing because I looked gaunt, that I looked older, that I didn't look healthy. They could lose a combined total of 350 pounds and no one would be too thin, if you get my drift. The next day, I approached the most reasonable of the 3 and had a heart to heart and told her how much they hurt my feelings. I asked if they thought I was losing / eating in an unhealthy manner. I was told they were simply concerned about how I looked. I then said, "Well, let's keep those opinions to ourselves, because the next person who shares their opinion of how I look is going to get my opinion of how they look right back. As long as no one feels I'm being reckless, it's my business how much weight I lose." They sure didn't want me preaching my new-found gospel of healthy eating to them, so I never heard another word.

We have to take it all in stride, I think. We are so much more aware of what we are doing (eating) and I think that makes us THINK others are aware, too. For the most part, no one really cares. We just think they do. I try not to sneak food off my plate. I think leaving it for others to see makes a HUGE statement that you meant what you said when you said "no thanks." I also never stretch the truth and give a medical reason - next thing you know the rumor mill will have you dying from out of control diabetes and heart disease! If "No thanks - not now" isn't a good enough reason, nothing is good enough. I just drop it there. It gets easier.

Lin

luckystreak
07-16-2012, 09:26 PM
I've been thinking about this thread for 2 days now. I realize the only people who push food at me are people who could stand to lose weight themselves! My heritage is Italian - stereotypically big food pushers. But not in my family. It's just my friends who are heavy. I think this tells a tale in itself.

And I agree with Joss - Turning the statement back on them usually quiets them right down. I had to do this last summer. Three friends (sisters) came to me and made a point of telling me I had to stop losing because I looked gaunt, that I looked older, that I didn't look healthy. They could lose a combined total of 350 pounds and no one would be too thin, if you get my drift. The next day, I approached the most reasonable of the 3 and had a heart to heart and told her how much they hurt my feelings. I asked if they thought I was losing / eating in an unhealthy manner. I was told they were simply concerned about how I looked. I then said, "Well, let's keep those opinions to ourselves, because the next person who shares their opinion of how I look is going to get my opinion of how they look right back. As long as no one feels I'm being reckless, it's my business how much weight I lose." They sure didn't want me preaching my new-found gospel of healthy eating to them, so I never heard another word.

We have to take it all in stride, I think. We are so much more aware of what we are doing (eating) and I think that makes us THINK others are aware, too. For the most part, no one really cares. We just think they do. I try not to sneak food off my plate. I think leaving it for others to see makes a HUGE statement that you meant what you said when you said "no thanks." I also never stretch the truth and give a medical reason - next thing you know the rumor mill will have you dying from out of control diabetes and heart disease! If "No thanks - not now" isn't a good enough reason, nothing is good enough. I just drop it there. It gets easier.

Lin


I feel like it usually is people who could stand to lose a few themselves who critique because theyre the ones who feel the most insecure!

Amarantha2
07-16-2012, 11:17 PM
For me as some others have said, it depends on who it is.

Also, I have had more trouble in recent years from people who are dogmatic advocates of one or another type of food preference or way of eating even if their way of eating is healthy than I have with people who don't say they are on a diet of any kind for health or whatever and who eat in a relaxed fashion.

I don't worry about it either way.

freelancemomma
07-17-2012, 08:27 AM
My husband is the opposite of pushy, but he's very polite. He used to offer me food anytime he prepared some for himself, because not doing so would be (to him) rude, which would make him feel bad about himself. So one day I brought up the subject and asked him if he could consciously go against his ingrained politeness instincts and make it a policy to never offer me food and, when we sit down as a family, never worry about whether there will be enough for me. With very few exceptions he's adhered to the policy. It's one less source of temptation for me and has really freed me up in my weight maintenance efforts.

F.

Garnet2727
07-17-2012, 09:46 AM
I have been very noisy about the fact that I'm on WW and since I've lost a little over 50 pounds, it's become quite obvious. I'm lucky in that the people in my life are supportive of my weight loss efforts. In fact, my husband, my best friend, one of my former co-workers and my sister are all losing weight too. However, I have occasionally had to deal with a food pusher at work or in my neighborhood. If it's a neighbor, I graciously accept what is offered and take it into the house. Usually, it's something that I can taste and work into my plan. I'll tell them how much I enjoyed the dish later on. If it's at work and it's really something I can't have or I don't want, I say "No thank you." If the person continues to push I say, "I appreciate your intent but I'm working hard on improving my health and I really can't eat that right now." So far, that's worked. I hope no one pushes further because I do have a temper and a snarky mouth to match.

Brid
07-17-2012, 11:10 AM
Whenever I'm eating with my brother, if I don't clear my plate, or decline second helpings, he calls me a lightweight. I keep telling him, that's the point!

KarenMI
07-17-2012, 11:56 AM
It seems strange to have to apologize for eating healthy. I can see where others don't want to hear about calories and points, so "no thanks" seems reasonable. But the food pushers? I feel like saying "it's MY body - I'll feed it what I want to, thank you very much." So I say it to myself instead of out loud.

krampus
07-17-2012, 12:39 PM
I've been thinking about this thread for 2 days now. I realize the only people who push food at me are people who could stand to lose weight themselves!

I've found the opposite. The pushers I encounter are generally middle aged thin-ish women who want to validate their own choices.

EagleRiverDee
07-17-2012, 03:07 PM
I think there's multiple things going on with food pushers. One, I think in American society people have REALLY distorted views of what foods are healthy, and what portions are healthy. So when someone actually IS eating healthy food and healthy portions, it looks like they're starving themselves. Two, I think some people are a bit like drug or alcohol addicts when it comes to food- they feel guilty about their own eating behavior and so they try to get others to join them in an effort to feel that what they are doing is acceptable.

I don't discuss my weight loss efforts with very many people. A lot of people almost seem to take it as a personal judgment on THEM, like I'm losing weight to make them feel bad. Which is ridiculous, but people can be strange. Instead, I just stay quiet. My best tactic for avoiding food pushers has also been a true one- "My doctor doesn't want me eating that." Because it's true- my doc is supervising my weight loss efforts and also teaching me to get away from the SAD (Standard American Diet) and move to a more healthy set of food choices. Not that I don't slip up- I totally do- but more often than not I am eating much healthier now. I also do have an actual dairy allergy, and since so many prepared foods have dairy in it, I have a built in excuse- "I wish I could, but I'm allergic to dairy." No one ever argues with an allergy. :)

judipurple
07-17-2012, 04:44 PM
I think there's multiple things going on with food pushers. One, I think in American society people have REALLY distorted views of what foods are healthy, and what portions are healthy. So when someone actually IS eating healthy food and healthy portions, it looks like they're starving themselves. Two, I think some people are a bit like drug or alcohol addicts when it comes to food- they feel guilty about their own eating behavior and so they try to get others to join them in an effort to feel that what they are doing is acceptable.

Yes - this!!!! And, as a recovering carb-aholic, I can recall doing just that - "come join me - oooo, it's soooo goood" just to beat down my own feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and all-around bad... And, in the case of my own family, if they didn't want what I made, or if there was any left, I viewed myself as a failure as a mother.

Oh, yeah, there's that big ol' can of worms... and I wonder why it's taking me sooo long to lose...:(

TamTam
07-17-2012, 09:16 PM
Whenever I'm eating with my brother, if I don't clear my plate, or decline second helpings, he calls me a lightweight. I keep telling him, that's the point!

Good foryou! Great response!!

KarenMI
07-18-2012, 03:51 PM
I think there's multiple things going on with food pushers. One, I think in American society people have REALLY distorted views of what foods are healthy, and what portions are healthy. So when someone actually IS eating healthy food and healthy portions, it looks like they're starving themselves. Two, I think some people are a bit like drug or alcohol addicts when it comes to food- they feel guilty about their own eating behavior and so they try to get others to join them in an effort to feel that what they are doing is acceptable.


This is something I've noticed a LOT. I think when we eat to be good to ourselves in a healthy way, people notice the difference and it forces a mental question. To agree with what we do means they should change. Easier to criticize what we do and tell themselves we're the ones who are "wrong."

TamTam
07-23-2012, 10:45 AM
This is something I've noticed a LOT. I think when we eat to be good to ourselves in a healthy way, people notice the difference and it forces a mental question. To agree with what we do means they should change. Easier to criticize what we do and tell themselves we're the ones who are "wrong."

Amen to that!!

memememe76
07-24-2012, 12:38 AM
I don't know that many people who are obese except for coworkers. But I still have food pushed at me all the time.

Just came back from a family reunion and everyone pushed food at me. Everyone. Even my 10 year old nephews who gave me all the shrimp in his rice rolls. :)

Or my health conscious cousin who is one of those people who actually eats 20 million small meals throughout the day. I realized a long time ago that I can't eat like that, so having to decline so often got tiring.

The person who surprised me was the 20-something male cousin who kept telling me to go to this burger place or that burger place. I finally relented and I went to an In n Out, and ordered a burger, animal style. He also wanted to take me to bars and nightclubs. I think because I basically hang out with the same people since high school, they all know about my weight issues.

However, I worked out all the time and my family supported that and a lot of the activities were also active (riding bikes, hikes, walking around, swimming, volleyball, etc).

I think we have to realize that it's not just about us. Food was "pushed" at all the other family members, not just me. Food is a big part of the culture and is often used as a welcoming gesture.

swissy
07-24-2012, 07:03 AM
'Oh Katbot thats hilarious I have one of those Dads to. I never found any useful ways of responding to him, when I started my journey I used to say oh I lost x amount and he would instantly say mind you don't lose too much.. being around 200 pounds... my sister was 120-130 pounds and he said she was not eating and anorexic...because she was eating salad.

"have some more chicken, go on", "is that all youre having, thats not very much", "who ever has the largest belly gets to eat the most so the rest of you have to catch up" WTF?!?!?

For him veg is something to garnish starch dishes.
He got a bowl that was meant to put a whole families dinner in it before dishing it out and he uses it for cereal and rice dinners :(

As I moved out and started learning about food he called me a food na zi and said why cant I just relax.. well he said the same thing about my anxiety so there you go.

He eats a massive bowl of cereal, 4 slices of toast, massive sandwiches, puts golden syrup in dinners, eats 4-6 x portions, eats a whole pack of biscuits, most of a family sized tiramisu, gave out to me if I tried to talk to him while eating.. never had family meals, he never even cooked for the younger children and let them go hungry only himself >:( Ugh every meal was piled up like a moutain on a huge plate and of course he didnt like to "waste food". He used to say when he was growing up if he didnt finish his dinner quick enough it would be taken off him, I know thats not all of it but thats his excuse of the only side of his issue he has acknowledged.

Family food pushers are the worst because they have years of manipulating you.

pigginpodgey
07-24-2012, 09:39 AM
Wow I have seen so many things I can relate to in this thread!! When my fiancÚ and I broke up last year I went to stay with my gran in the country to regroup, lick my wounds and generally try and pull myself together. Comments such as " do you think you broke up because youve gained so much weight?" swiftly followed by " have a biscuit I cooked these for you". Seriously?!?! WTF?! She is the ultimate food pusher, always has been, and has always been big herself. She is always quick to point out when I have gained weight, but never when i have lost. Her other granny dart was that I was probably too heavy/ old to have children which is another reason why he left me!! Ouch. I then got really stubborn and wouldnt eat a thing she tried to give me, so spent a week absolutely starving.
My other grandma on the other hand who is also big swears blind everytime she sees me that I have lost " lots of weight" and how lovely I look lol!! So the conversation is "well we are both trying to shed some weight, but you have done so well, and I have lost 2lbs so lets have a little cake".
No wonder I have issues with food!!

lilkel244
07-24-2012, 10:01 AM
I have a friend who is a terrible food pusher. We were about the same size before and she LOVES to cook. (and is an amazing cook). But I think for her cooking is a part of her self esteem. She doesn't feel good about her body so she cooks awesome things so people praise her. She is obsessive over food and if I decline something I get a whole lecture about how life is meant to be enjoyed and I can't deprive myself all the time. Your right I can't that's why I have planned cheat days, but my planned cheat day still does not involve new york strip steak slathered in goat cheese wrapped in bacon. So recently (one is planned for tomorrow) I have been trying to get her to meet me out for "drinks" that way I can control what I intake and its not such a personal insult for me to refuse her food.