Weight Loss Support - Don't want to go into a marriage Unhealthy.

07-13-2012, 01:55 PM
I am going to loose all my weight get to 165 before I get married. I am doing it for me, and I want to get into a marriage healthy. My Fiance and I will have been together eight years October 1, 2012.

How can I tackle one big step before tackling my current big step which is getting healthy.

Any thoughts?


07-13-2012, 02:11 PM
They say that a journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step... so go with that.

What are you currently doing to get healthy and drop weight? Outline your plan, and perhaps folks can chime in and help you to get going in the right direction.

Arctic Mama
07-13-2012, 02:19 PM
You may need to adjust your mindset - you say you don't want to go into marriage unhealthy, but are you willing to do the hard changes to CONTINUE in marriage with your healthy habits? It's no good just to gain it all back in six months, you know?

I agree with Joss, tell us what you're doing and we may be able to help you. But whatever plan you choose, a complete 180 on how you relate to food and eating is really what it takes to lose the weight and keep it off. Diets work on the body, by so often the problems are really in our minds, and NO diet, no matter how fullproof, can override emotional eating tendencies. So those are really, really key to work on.

07-13-2012, 02:21 PM
the gentleman and i have already begun eating healthy and losing weight/toning up.

it's definitely good to be a team when losing weight and getting fit. :)

07-13-2012, 02:24 PM
I agree with Joss and Taryl.

On a related note, I felt that way before I got married, I rushed to get down to a healthy weight, which I did, but didn't really focus on my issues and I gained it all back within the 1st year of marriage. Now 6 years, and 2 kids, later I'm still struggling with my weight, but this time I'm focusing more on the behaviors, the emotions, the habits, and the reasons why I got this way so this time I can keep it off and live healthfully forever.

07-13-2012, 02:27 PM
What JossFit said - let us know what your plan will be.

If I might chime in - try dividing it into 10% 'chunks' - Your 1st 10% would be losing 28 lbs. Less intimidating than 100+! Then, when you get to that 28 lbs, your next 10% would be 25 lbs, next 10% would be 23lbs, and so on! Every time you get to the next level, the amount to lose is smaller, too! And keep visiting 3FC - you'll find a wealth of info and ideas here!

07-13-2012, 02:40 PM
I agree with judi! Breaking it up makes all the difference, and when you get to those goals in between, you feel like a million bucks!

My mini goals are below. I made them up, and they all equate to between 5 and 10 lbs (with the exception of the first and last). I just got to my first mini goal and it felt great! It feels even better after the next few days, because you know you're actually at your goal if the scale keeps you below it!

One thing that I also do is track every little thing. I'm on Weight Watchers (because I need to pay for accountability), so that causes me to track. Then, I weigh every single day. I have my weight tracked, and I use trendlines to get an idea of where I'll be at the end of the month. I adhere to the plan strictly, make diet changes frequently, and work out like crazy, so my weight loss is pretty linear. However, I'm highly analytic, so being able to see my progress vs. goals every day is great for me.

It is really about trial and error. If there's something you can't stick with, don't, just figure out how to lose weight around it.

07-13-2012, 02:54 PM
Thanks everybody for the input. I'm not loosing weight just to get married, I'm loosing weight to change my life syle and keep it off for good. I just need to be healthy when I get married.

I am currenlty on Weight Watchers and working out to Zumba and swimming. So far thirteen pounds down almost to my 5% goal.


07-13-2012, 04:43 PM
Congrats on taking steps to improve your life! Future-you will thank you!

I will say, after 15 years of marriage and multiple (failed) attempts and losing & keeping the weight off -- this time is different and one of the biggest reasons is because my husband has also committed himself to a healthy lifestyle. I've lost weight in the past, and he was supportive in that he would encourage me...but he wasn't doing the same things so ultimately, it was just too easy for me to slip into old (bad) habits. Now...we keep each other in check - we still slip up - but we always tell each other now and we keep each other motivated.

My advice: get your fiance involved in a healthy lifestyle, too. :)

07-13-2012, 05:59 PM
Are you going to try to plan a wedding at the same time you're trying to get healthier? I'd advise against that, because it compounds the stress of both the lifestyle changes and the stress of planning a wedding.

Nine months before my wedding, I joined Weight Watchers with my mother in hopes of losing weight before my wedding. My mother lost 60 lbs and I gained 5.

I don't regret joining WW, who knows how much I would have gained if not for joining WW. However, I'm also glad that I didn't postpone my marriage in order to get healthy (especially since I didn't realize that I would end up disabled and unable to work less than two years into our marriage).

I've struggled with my health and weight since kindergarten. Putting my life on hold while trying to get healthier, only left me without a life.

Ironically - or perhaps not, perhaps entirely logically, living life to it's fullest NOW has helped me gain more enjoyment and more health benefits that putting life on hold did.

I'm finally losing weight permanently (slowly, but permanently) because I'm not putting my life on hold. I have more to motivate me than the promise of some day having what I want. Working at what I want NOW has been more motivating than working with a someday-goal in mind.

Dating and marriage has been more motivating for weight loss than waiting for dating and marriage ever was.

I'm not saying that you can't or shouldn't work at weight loss before, during, or after your marriage, but do be careful about trying to plan a wedding AND work at healthy lifestyle changes. I'm just suggesting that you be aware that the stress of trying to do BOTH simultaneously can easily become overwhelming.

I don't regret marrying before my health was perfect (if I had, I would still be single 10 years later), and I don't even regret marrying at my highest weight.

I'll always be very proud of my wedding photo, even though in them I was 105 lbs heavier, and hubby was 85 lbs heavier in those photos.

And unlike most of the women I know who postponed their weddings until they looked great, hubby and I are always getting compliments about how great we look NOW when they see our wedding picture. Not as in "you sure looked awful then," but as in "Wow you look so happy and beautiful in this picture, but it's hard to believe you two are the same people, you look so GREAT now).

I'd rather spend my life looking better than my wedding pictures (which I still love) than looking back at my wedding picutre and saying "I wish I still looked like that."

When friends and family told me that my wedding would be the happiest day of my life, I answered with, "So you mean it's all down hill from there?" and I vowed that my wedding day would NOT be the happiest day of my life...

and it hasn't been. We've been through a lot, but we have been climbing UP-hill together from our wedding day, not rolling down.

07-13-2012, 06:25 PM
Hey thanks for your response.:) No wedding planning just taking time to focus on living my life and getting healthy. That has it's own time and place, the wedding. I know what you mean about planning a wedding and loosing weight I don't want to loose weight just for a wedding. I just need to prioritize myself now and loose permanently before I get married. I know it sounds strange but it's what I want. One big step before the next. :)


Arctic Mama
07-13-2012, 10:20 PM
Just don't quit. No matter what bumps you may hit, resolve to never give up. That is a huge piece of it and difficult for many dieters to wrap their brains around, but if you never quit, you can never truly fail :)