Weight Loss Support - Yep, I gained 10 pounds in 2 weeks of eating whatever I wanted.




GotothegymOKAY
07-12-2012, 10:24 AM
For about the last 5 months, I have consistently stayed about 137-138. Then, for a STUPID reason that is beyond me, a couple of weeks ago I went on vacation for a week and a half and literally ate whatever I wanted. And I don't mean "whoops, I shouldn't have had that second slice of pizza!" I mean like at least 7000 calories a day of pure junk... pizza/hot dogs/pretzels/chinese/cheesecake/chips/nachos/burgers .... well, you get the picture. :^:

For the last week now, I've consistently stayed 148!!!! I was so naive, thinking that it would all be water weight and that I could lose it fast.

So everyone, this thread isn't about, "How did it happen?!" BECAUSE I know how it happened and I did it to myself. It's more of a warning that it is NOT OKAY to take such a LONG free for all. As good as the food tasted, I didn't even enjoy vacation because I felt so bloated the whole time. AND I worked out every day and it didn't even MATTER because I was eating SO much.

So remember- don't ever take more than 2 or 3 free days!!!


savetheb
07-12-2012, 11:56 AM
In my opinion, it's good to indulge yourself every once in a while. You could go crazy if all you ate was healthy stuff. Sometimes a good fattening pizza is just what you need.

About a month ago I went to the movies and ate two giant butter bags of popcorn and gained five pounds in one night. I wanted to die the next day but man was that some good popcorn.

LockItUp
07-12-2012, 11:59 AM
It's amazing how fast it can come back on! You caught it, though, that's the important thing!!!

Years ago after I lost 50 pounds I started doing that and within a year ALL of the weight was back. I look back and wonder how the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks I let that happen!!!


angie7896
07-12-2012, 12:04 PM
Thank you for that reminder! I am getting ready to go on vacation... I keep thinking " I am going to eat whatever because its vacation and I deserve it". I will be more free with my diet but I will try to not go overboard. ;)

Hey, at least you are set for a while on junkfood!
You'll get back on track!

GotothegymOKAY
07-12-2012, 12:09 PM
Thank you for that reminder! I am getting ready to go on vacation... I keep thinking " I am going to eat whatever because its vacation and I deserve it".

LOL nooooo don't do it!!! Seriously I was at the airport, for example, and ate a slice of pizza, reeses, jamba juice, Auntie Anne's pretzel bites, and a cookie before I even GOT on the plane. I arrived at my destination feeling fat and gross. If I would've kept it under control, I would've enjoyed myself so much more on vacation because I would've felt thin. Don't do it!

mammasita
07-12-2012, 12:09 PM
ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, EXACTLY what you said. I did it, 9 days worth. I know exactly how it happened because I chose to keep eating. I was so bloated and felt terrible yet I kept eating.

pixelllate
07-12-2012, 12:10 PM
I absolutely know what you mean. I have to reign myself in - sure people can eat what they want only gain a few, but if my idea of eating what I want is like 5000K cal a day regularly - even if its for a week - that is TOO much and I don't care to put in all that effort to lose all that post-vaca. My body feels the "ahhhh now I've really had a feast" at several thousand cals, wheras for many ppl, that might be 2-3000 cals.
I'll have to remind myself to enjoy some the taste of some foods, but control my intake, perhaps lose a few lbs beforehand (curb the damage!!) and enjoy other parts of vacation besides the food.

Katbot24
07-12-2012, 12:11 PM
I'm going to Vegas next month, and I intend to indulge for those 5 days. The hotel we're staying at have 5 amazing restaurants there as well as a bar that sells spiked milkshakes (chocolate with Kahlua, for example). I've come to terms with the fact that I'll gain a few lbs back, but I consider it worth it for the good time I'll have.

The important thing is not to beat yourself up after, just dust off and get back on the wagon.

amandie
07-12-2012, 12:15 PM
I can easily gain 10-15lbs if I go in with that mindset on vacations with food AND alcohol. I have to seriously rein myself in and "allow" myself some stuff here and there, that's it.

mnemosyne
07-12-2012, 12:29 PM
I lost 5 pounds on my last vacation. I usually lose weight on vacation, because I take active vacations. My last vacation was to Peru, and I did eat 'whatever I wanted' - but within reason. Fortunately, in most foreign countries sandwiches do not AUTOMATICALLY come with a giant serving of French fries, and the hotel breakfasts have more fresh fruit and less 'cook your own waffles.'

I had a pisco sour (or 2, or a beer, or a glass of wine) almost every night, and had dessert semi-regularly, but we did not do much snacking and we NEVER ate fast food. Sometimes we ordered a place of deep fried appetizers for the table (potatoes, yucca, weird things stuff with other weird things), but even then often the best thing on the table was the red-onion yellow tomato and lime salsa. Pizzas there were pretty healthy too (and every restaurant seemed to have them!) - thin crust, with tasty toppings and cheese, but not too much.

But gotothegym I feel you about the airport food especially. I think the worst thing I ate all vacation was the GIANT asiago cheese bagel with cream cheese I had from Starbucks in the Atlanta airport, bleary-eyed after an all-night flight (which was the capstone to a long day of touring). I expect that that bagel had more calories than any other meal I had, but I could not stop eating.

On vacation and ordinarily, I do try to make a distinction between fast food and chains and other restaurants. I am definitely less concerned about calories when I am eating at Local 127 in Cincinnati than at Applebee's. If a brilliant chef makes something lovely, I can make room for a bit of it. And find it worthwhile more than some corporate indulgance at a chain.

Or so I am trying to tell myself. Heh. It is a way of making choices that still feels like 'living' rather than 'dieting.'

Hopefully it sticks this time, I have a long way to go.

freelancemomma
07-12-2012, 12:36 PM
If a brilliant chef makes something lovely, I can make room for a bit of it. And find it worthwhile more than some corporate indulgance at a chain.

That's my vacation philosophy too. In fact, I NEVER eat at chain restaurants on vacation (and almost never at home, either). Not because of health or calories, but because the foods they serve are not interesting or tasty enough to be worth it for me.

F.

PinkLotus
07-12-2012, 12:36 PM
I did the same thing while on vacation. I went to Vegas in April, and ate and drank whatever I wanted. There was no way I was going to count calories on vacation. I did A LOT of walking, but still came back 9lbs heavier. Within a few days, it was down to 2lbs, but those 2lbs took me almost a month to lose!
But I don't regret it. The next time I go on vacation, I will allow myself to indulge again, but maybe just not quite as much as I did this time.

Arctic Mama
07-12-2012, 12:50 PM
My best advice is that it IS okay to eat junk once in awhile, we're not going to overly moralize food, but when the nutrition is questionable it become even MORE important to listen to hunger cues and STOP EATING when the hunger signal goes away. The problem wasn't pizza and pretzels, it was over stuffing on pizza and pretzels, regardless of the signals the body was giving that hunger was sated long before then.

I really struggle with this concept too. But I'm becoming more convinced that it isn't the diet that needs the change, necessarily, but those of us who change our food and magically expect it to change our mindsets, too. If we don't change the way we relate to food, maintenance will continue to be a battle.

You'll get it off soon enough :hug: but I encourage you to do mental inventory on what you think entitled you to abuse your body with too much food, when the only defense the body has is to gain fat? Some hunger scale measuring may be really helpful to you, I know it has been to me! I eat for many reasons besides hunger, including boredom and 'I deserve it'. But no reason for eating is valid besides hunger and I'm really taking a step back from all eating that isn't physiologically demanded and stopping when satisfied, and not stuffed. It's so simple, but kind of mind blowing, to reassociate myself with those physical cues.

That might be something you'd benefit from, too?

lin43
07-12-2012, 01:02 PM
I used to have the attitude "It's my vacation, so I deserve to eat whatever I want!" and "If others do it, so can I!" However, that was really an immature way of thinking, and that sort of entitlement mentality toward food and overeating is what got me fat and kept me fat for a good long while. What I realize now is that a vacation is about so much more than food. Beyond that, there's nothing that says that I cannot enjoy those special meals, but why overeat junk that I can get any day of the week---e.g., chips, M & M's, etc.? Now, when I go on vacation, I will eat those special meals that I look forward to, but I won't just eat everything in sight. For instance, I just got back from visiting family in another state. I regularly had dessert (a lovely Tiramisu at a little Italian restaurant one night) and drank (a phenomenal espresso martini one night), but I often skipped the bread basket because, frankly, I didn't see any bread that was worth "spending" my calories on. So, I guess I will say that at no time did I pretend that calories didn't exist, but I still made room for many, many indulgences.

Thank you for starting this thread as we all need to be reminded of this. Also, congratulations on catching the gain before it becomes more than 10 lbs.

krampus
07-12-2012, 01:58 PM
Was that vacation binge a result of being frustrated with slow weight loss or restriction? I've seen a lot of posts from you where it seems like you view food/exercise as punishment/reward...

JossFit
07-12-2012, 02:24 PM
I am going to Las Vegas next week for my wedding and honeymoon, and have vowed NOT to overdo it! I used to be horrible about gorging myself while on vacation, but the fitter I get the less pleasant that sounds to me.

I work hard for this rockin bikini body and I want to enjoy it for more than 1/2 of a day on my vacation! I've already set aside some ground rules for myself that should help minimize the damage;

Prior to the wedding (2 1/2 days) - I am going to continue to eat on plan and workout in the mornings. Lots of veggies and protein, no alcohol, and eating when I'm hungry... not just because food is there and looks good. Besides, nothing can motivate me to stay on plan more than that slinky little wedding gown I'll be wearing!

During the wedding dinner, I have told myself to limit my drinks and to only have drinks with zero calorie mixers (no 700-calorie blended margaritas for this girl!). I'm also going to focus on all the family and friends there, and eat slowly and mindfully... and think about the lingerie I'll be wearing later and how I don't want to be bloated on my wedding night.

After the wedding I have 2 1/2 days in Vegas to just relax. My game plan is to again limit the alcohol to just a couple of drinks during the day and make my own drinks with calorie free mixers and hard alcohol (I already have some zero calorie margarita mix and sugar-free drink mixes packed), drink plenty of water, hit the gym each morning, keep my meals clean during the day, and savor really special dinners - splitting dishes with my husband and sharing deserts.

The main thing is that I don't want to spend my honeymoon covered up in 100+ degree weather because I gorged on food and alcohol when I should be in a bikini and feeling comfortable. I want to enjoy all my friends and family and be happy when I see all the photos from the trip. Besides, I'd much rather have a couple of pounds of water weight to deal with at the end of it rather than 10 pounds of serious weight gain.

I work too hard day-to-day to feel good about my body, and if I abused my body in the name of "deserving it" what kind of sense would that make? We spend so much time preparing for swimsuit season and then turn around and toss it in the trash over some french fries and ice cream... it just boggles my mind.

Thank you for making this post, really. Its just another reminder to stick to my plan!

guacamole
07-12-2012, 03:41 PM
It is totally scary how fast the weight comes on and how slowly it comes off. The good news is, you know what to do to get back on track and get those few extra pounds off.

My attitude for a vacation or "staycation" is that I am going to eat what I want to eat and enjoy myself. However, that means really choosing what will be worth the calories. For example, a chocolate bar and soda at the airport while waiting for a flight? Not worth it. A bag of chips and a sweet tea from a gas station during a road trip? Not worth it. However, a local specialty food from a bakery, ice cream shop, restaurant - basically something I can't get in my hometown or a convenience store - you betcha! I love to try new foods and local specialties. Yes, there will be a weight gain to show for it, but for me, it's all part of the sightseeing and vacation experience. As long as I get back on track when I get home (not that I won't bemoan the extra weight), at the end of the day, it's all good. I know that if I deprive myself completely, I'll fall off the wagon altogether. So, it's good to have occasional treats and off-plan times to look forward to.

Amarantha2
07-12-2012, 06:14 PM
Good advice on this thread. One of those kinds of periods is why I am STILL trying to get off 20 pounds following years of maintaining (with fluctuations) a major weight loss. :)

It absolutely can happen but it absolutely can be reversed when we get back on track.

Only Me
07-12-2012, 08:44 PM
I am sure that I would do the exact same thing if I gave myself 2 weeks to eat whatever I want. At most, I can give myself one meal or one evening every couple of weeks.

I have (I think) finally accepted that I can never, ever again just go back to eating whatever I want in whatever amounts I want. I have to always be conscious of what foods and amounts I need to keep my body healthy and at a healthy weight. Lapses will result in weight gain. Quickly. That will then take much longer to come off again.

KittyKatFan
07-12-2012, 10:29 PM
Sounds like my last two-week vacation. That trip really set me back both physically and emotionally. I felt so bloated and my pants didn't fit well. I also ended up with intense cravings for three weeks after the trip, as I struggled to get back to a good emotional place. I felt so rotten about myself after two weeks where I binged. I exercised, but struggled mightily with the food side.

All I can say is think carefully before letting yourself go hog wild. It may not just affect your weight, but also your emotional health as well. Last week, during a five-day mini-vacation, I made every effort to fight the temptation to eat whatever I wanted and I succeeded. I felt very proud. It was good to come back feeling no guilt.

Chubbygirl253
07-12-2012, 11:49 PM
the saturday before last was my birthday and we also had relatives coming from out of state to stay with us from thursday thru sunday. for 4 days i ate and drank pretty much whatever i wanted. And it cost me 5 pounds. when i stepped on the scale and saw that i was so disappointed. i had been doing so well before that! the very idea of birthday cake makes me wanna upchuck now. but i learned my lesson! never take more than 1 free day and still don't go hog wild!

meltaway
07-13-2012, 10:58 PM
This is me RIGHT NOW. I've been eating crap for about two weeks, but I've been working out still so I haven't gained anything, but my weight loss has definitely STALLED. How do I get back on track :(

JossFit
07-14-2012, 06:39 AM
This is me RIGHT NOW. I've been eating crap for about two weeks, but I've been working out still so I haven't gained anything, but my weight loss has definitely STALLED. How do I get back on track :(


We can all come here and ask for help and support and usually are recieved with open arms, but seriously... when does personal accountability come into play?

If you KNOW you're eating "crap" then stop.

Elliemar
07-14-2012, 11:16 AM
I had a week of complete indulgence when I reached target - and it was horrible! I felt so bloated and listless and my energy levels totally plummeted. I'm NOT doing that again, lol. A few treats yes, but total moderation for me from now on. I'm NOT undoing all my hard work! :)

Wheresmychin
07-14-2012, 11:57 AM
Thanks for the heads up, will def keep it in mind for my next vacation!

GotothegymOKAY
07-14-2012, 01:49 PM
This is me RIGHT NOW. I've been eating crap for about two weeks, but I've been working out still so I haven't gained anything, but my weight loss has definitely STALLED. How do I get back on track :(

Go to the gym and have a long amazing workout. It seriously takes ONE gym session to feel like you've got it back! :)

kaplods
07-14-2012, 02:23 PM
We can all come here and ask for help and support and usually are recieved with open arms, but seriously... when does personal accountability come into play?

If you KNOW you're eating "crap" then stop.


Wow, such compassion is overwhelming.

Seriously Anyone who really understands chronic weight loss struggles, realizes that "personal accountability" is only one small part of the equation and is much easier said than done.

One of the reasons is that we're "taught" to fail at weight loss and then blame ourselves for failing at personal accountability.

We all learn best by observation - watching how everyone else behaves and then copying that behavior (which is why a parent saying "do as I say, not as I do" is ridiculous advice - we all learn to do what everyone else does).

A trivial example is the ubiquitous "employee manual." Most of us have had jobs in which we had to read an employee manual, and we usually learned pretty quickly that when the manual conflicted with common practice, we learned that the "real" rule was to do what everyone else did.

Weight loss is a lot like that, because we're essentially "taught to fail and blame ourselves."

30 years of "personal accountability" didn't help me lose weight in the long run. In the long-run what helped was realizing that I followed failing patterns, not because I was lazy, crazy, stupid or selfish - it was because I had been "taught" to fail.

I had to unlearn the habits that I learned by watching others fail at weight loss.

Failure rates for weight loss are in the high 90th percentile. This doesn't jive with "personal accountability" being to blame. 95 to 98 percent of the population refused to be accountable? I don't think so.

It can be extremely difficult to understand why we make the same mistakes over and over again - when we're taught to do so, and taught to blame ourselves for it.

The social "rule" is to diet by methods that are unsuccessful, and to blame ourselves as lazy, crazy, stupid or selfish and to have other thoughts about those behaviors that reinforce the unsuccessful pattern.

We have "social rules" to dieting that have virtually become rituals so ingrained, we don't even know that we've learned the behavior.

It's customary to "eat whatever we want" on vacation - we're taught that we're entitled to it (but we're taught to hate ourselves when we get back to our normal lives and see the damage we've done).

It's customary when having as much as a single off-plan bite to binge until the next appropriate "starting over" point - when we get back from vacation, or tomorrow morning if it's early in the week - Monday if it's later in the week, the new year if it happens to be past mid-October, or when we've gained all the weight back and then some.

Personal accountability is about more than blaming oneself and having perfect control over our eating. It's also about understanding the bigger picture, and understanding that when our behavior seems out of control even to ourselves, to try to understand why we're having difficulty taking control. Is it really because we lack personal accountability or have we learned behavior that we don't even realize we've learned.

Yes, bottom line is taking control, and changeing behavior, but often some "unlearning" has to take place first. It's not about "blaming" society - or even ourselves, it's about changing behaviors that have become so ingrained, we don't even realize why we're doing them, or why it's difficult to stop.

It should be easy, we tell ourselves to "just do it," but obviously it's not that easy or the weight loss failure rate wouldn't be in the 90th percentile.

Understanding that there's social pressure to "do it wrong" ironically does make it easier to do it right.

It also helps to understand the "addictive" properties of junk food. The book "The End of Overeating" by David Kessler does a great job of that. It's difficult to get off the salt/fat/sugar train because those foods actually set off brain-chemicals very similar to addictive drugs. In fact, cocaine-addicted rats will choose these foods OVER cocaine.

We have bigger, more sophisticated brains than rats, but our body still reacts to these foods similarly. The primitive portions of the brain are very difficult to override, even with higher brain function, especially when we believe doing so is supposed to be "easy."

Doing what we know we need to do, when our body, brain chemicals, and social conditioning are screaming for us to do the opposite, is harder than just about any other accomplishment possible.

I've succeeded in all areas of my life except weight loss, and yet I've put more energy into weight loss than all the other successes in my life combined. Unfortunately, I was spinning my wheels because I always tried to do weight loss the way I was taught to... and I always failed - because most of what I was taught was just plain wrong, or so distorted that it became meaningless.

"How can I stop" is a legitimate question, and often just having others say "this is how I stopped, you can too" can help make that "just do it" no longer seem impossible.

But we also have a social ritual that says needing help for weight loss is shameful, and we "should" be able to do it all on our own, with no help (and with a great deal of hindrance) from everyone else.

It doesn't have to be that way.

JossFit
07-14-2012, 03:02 PM
Wow, such compassion is overwhelming.

Seriously Anyone who really understands chronic weight loss struggles, realizes that "personal accountability" is only one small part of the equation and is much easier said than done.

True, I am not the worlds most compassionate person, but I am still quite caring, I assure you. I'm just more of a "tough love" kind of person, and sometimes people respond better to direct language.

You are always very supportive and do your best to cheer everyone on, which is commendable, but that may not help everyone. Some people never realize their true potential or really push themselves because they are always told they are perfect the way they are and are a unique snowflake when that isn't what they need.

When you post your personal struggles on an internet forum you open yourself up to whatever responses come your way, and you can either take it to heart or let it roll off your back. I don't think saying that someone should look at themselves FIRST in an effort to change their behavior is an inappropriate response, and if it helps someone I am thrilled. If not, they can just ignore it. Its nothing for anyone to get upset over.

What I DO take a bit of offense to is the implication that I don't understand chronic weight struggles. I battle with the binge eating impulses each day, and it took me over 3 years to lose the 60+ pounds that I did. I know what it feels like to be seemingly helpless against food and to be stuck in a body that made me feel imprisoned. Sure, I haven't struggled for 30+ years or had to lose hundreds of pounds, but that's because I started to look at MYSELF and realized that I was the one putting the food in my mouth day after day and I stopped. The M&Ms weren't jumping into my face while I was sleeping.

sensualappeal
07-14-2012, 04:50 PM
Great thread. This always would happen to me when I would relapse from binge eating. I would eat fine and lose weight and then I would snap and binge for a week, thinking "no way am I going to gain that much, I'm okay with gaining 2 lbs, no way will I gain more than that anyway, if it's more, I'll lose it easily cause it's probably just water weight" but no. It stays. and it sucks. Because losing it is obviously 1000x harder than gaining it :(

JohnP
07-14-2012, 05:07 PM
Different people respond to different types of motivation.

While I would like to win I won't kill myself to win. On the other hand I HATE to lose and will kill myself to prevent losing. So my fear of loss is greater than my desire of gain. This is probably why I was able to wake up at six AM to workout before work when I was 300 lbs but now I can't get myself to do it.

Some people will work out better if the coach is screaming at them to work harder. Others will respond negatively to a person screaming at them.

Some people will respond to a person telling them to stop whining and put down the fork while others will start crying and eat even more.

Anyways. I love my dog. What a great dog I have.:D

meltaway
07-16-2012, 03:04 PM
We can all come here and ask for help and support and usually are recieved with open arms, but seriously... when does personal accountability come into play?

If you KNOW you're eating "crap" then stop.

If it were that simple, I wouldn't be the enormous person that I am today. Tough love really doesn't work on the internet, it just makes you seem like an insensitive prat.

I've been working out consistently still, I just can't seem to get my eating under control. Although, my definition of 'crap' really might differ. I don't eat junk or snacks and what not. I just eat a lot of the stuff that's o the no-no list. i.e white flour, lots of potatoes etc. Not like pizza and crisps or anything like that. Hence, the non-simplicity of the situation. I'm eating badly, but just under terrible so I can sort of get away with it... the problem is, I've been letting myself get away with it too much and it's stalling my weight loss.

krampus
07-16-2012, 03:48 PM
I've been working out consistently still, I just can't seem to get my eating under control. Although, my definition of 'crap' really might differ. I don't eat junk or snacks and what not. I just eat a lot of the stuff that's o the no-no list. i.e white flour, lots of potatoes etc. Not like pizza and crisps or anything like that. Hence, the non-simplicity of the situation. I'm eating badly, but just under terrible so I can sort of get away with it... the problem is, I've been letting myself get away with it too much and it's stalling my weight loss.

Only you can fix this dudebro.

You could have your family and friends duct tape you to a wall and feed you nothing but chicken and vegetables until you get to goal weight? Other than that, you just gotta get to the point where enough is enough and cut off the junk supply.

Katbot24
07-16-2012, 03:51 PM
You could have your family and friends duct tape you to a wall and feed you nothing but chicken and vegetables until you get to goal weight?

My fiance is reading over my shoulder and he had two comments:

1) Want me to go get the duct tape?
2) innuendo about activities other than feeding that he'd need to do if I were duct taped to a wall.

Arctic Mama
07-16-2012, 04:01 PM
If it were that simple, I wouldn't be the enormous person that I am today. Tough love really doesn't work on the internet, it just makes you seem like an insensitive prat.

I've been working out consistently still, I just can't seem to get my eating under control. Although, my definition of 'crap' really might differ. I don't eat junk or snacks and what not. I just eat a lot of the stuff that's o the no-no list. i.e white flour, lots of potatoes etc. Not like pizza and crisps or anything like that. Hence, the non-simplicity of the situation. I'm eating badly, but just under terrible so I can sort of get away with it... the problem is, I've been letting myself get away with it too much and it's stalling my weight loss.

But it is that simple (though not easy, mind you). It comes down to a choice. We choose to eat when we're not hungry, or eat food that isn't nutritious and too much of it, to boot. You're talking about the ways you rationalize it to 'get away with it'. Who is in control of your brain - you or a bag of flour?

In the end you are an intelligent, capable, sentient human being. You are in the driver's seat. You are capable of analyzing what is going on in your brain and then making choices in response to the feedback being given. You can choose to eat or not eat, but your poor body's only defense against too much food is converting it to fat (or having organ damage).

So yes, my heart goes out to you and I've been there, too, but it really is straightforward and YOU are the only one who can feel your body's feedback and choose to control your feeding behavior. It is entirely possible that you may not be ready to shelve emotional and social gluttony, and that the choice of junky food in large quantities is more compelling than exercising self control. Maybe you aren't ready to fight that yet. But the solution to weight problems isn't magic - it is dedication and consistency, choices that add up to either lighter or heavier bodies. Some things, like the type of diet you choose, can make this much easier or much harder (I maintain almost effortlessly on low-ish carbs and whole food, I constantly feel hunger and cravings when I eat junk), but the choices remain the same.

You pick your response - Joss may have been indelicate in how she stated it but she is 100% right. You have a choices you're in control, and if your choices don't line up with your goals then the struggle will persist and all the love and kindness in the world isn't going to help. Sorry :(

krampus
07-16-2012, 04:12 PM
My fiance is reading over my shoulder and he had two comments:

1) Want me to go get the duct tape?
2) innuendo about activities other than feeding that he'd need to do if I were duct taped to a wall.

wahahahahahaha.

It's definitely NOT easy to eat "well" all day every day. If it were, there'd be no diet industry, few gyms, and Little Debbie would be flat broke.

Arctic Mama
07-16-2012, 04:49 PM
Yup, simple does NOT mean easy, and this isn't the only area of life where this is true. It has taken me four years to get to this point. Oy!

JossFit
07-16-2012, 06:54 PM
You pick your response - Joss may have been indelicate in how she stated it but she is 100% right. You have a choices you're in control, and if your choices don't line up with your goals then the struggle will persist and all the love and kindness in the world isn't going to help. Sorry :(


You phrased it much more eloquently than I did... It was early and I was still working on my coffee... :)

I struggled with binge eating for a long time, and though I know I am not "cured" of it, I do feel that for the most part I have it under control. Those urges do not strike me nearly as often as they used to, but when they do, I remind myself that ultimately I am the one who decides what the outcome is going to be that day.

I may come off as an insensitive Prat which is probably the military woman in me, but I DO understand what it's like.

JossFit
07-16-2012, 06:55 PM
...and Little Debbie would be flat broke.

Mmmm Little Debbie... that *****.

Poppy201
07-16-2012, 09:01 PM
This is a really interesting thread, with some great points. The discussion about choice is particularly interesting to me. This idea of you can choose to eat or not eat - I think it is true to say eating such and such is always a type of choice because you are the person actively doing it and no-one else is forcing you at any point. However, I do feel there is a difference somewhere (certainly with me) in a choice that has a logical root and one that doesn't seem to. So, for example, there are plenty of times where I have been out with friends, on holiday etc etc and thought, "To **** with it, I'm having what they're having, I deserve it, I want to have that" and so on. Leaving aside willpower, I can see this is a choice I make because at that moment in time I want a certain type of food, experience, more than the end goal I'm working towards.

However, I can't believe this is the same type of active choice as when I've tried to quit binging. I get an urge to binge, I spend hours going back and forth on the decision and getting very mentally worked up, saying to myself, "I don't want to binge, I don't want to give up the end goal, but I feel a need to binge, I don't know if I can stop myself." Sometimes I manage to talk myself down, not always. That isn't about having a certain type of food but lots of food, all at once. It is still a choice, in the sense that no-one else made me do it, but it feels a TOTALLY different type of choice to the previous example. (And involves a lot more complex emotional to-and-fro-ing.)

I think it can be dangerous to focus on this too much - it can be too easy to think, "This is the way I'm made, I can't help it, etc" (which I've done) and then I absolutely agree you need to start trying to hold yourself to account a bit more. But... Sometimes it can feel like an unstoppable force. And yes, simple is not the same as easy, but stopping that binging train of thought and emotion doesn't feel particularly simple to me either.

Apologies if this is a little less than coherent - it's 2am where I am. :dizzy:

meltaway
07-16-2012, 09:32 PM
In a couple months I'll be my own person again, and all that you lovely ladies are saying will indeed be true. I'll be buying my own groceries, in charge of my own finances again, and I won't have to be dependent on other people to decide what my meal for the evening will be. But until then, no, for me, it isn't that simple. And of course I know this'll seem like another excuse, maybe it is, but it's just my situation right now. It sucks, and I get really frustrated about it, but we're always able to start out the month well, but by mid month the $'s run out, and we're back to making unhealthy choices, cause there are so many mouths to feed in my house.
When I lived alone before, I would only ever buy the good stuff, then I was never tempted or I'd go to sleep hungry if all I was craving was junk. But, you know, everyone's situation is different, and I think we ought to take that into account. Perhaps?
But I guess this is what Kaplods was saying earlier, what with the idea that something is unequicovally wrong with me and that I need tough love in order to buck up, that I'm weak or making excuses, lazy etc etc.. these things are automacaly assumed because I admit that I'm having a hard time with my diet. When maybe the truth is, I'm having a hard time with my diet and I need time to sort out myself and my situation.

IDK I'm still mulling over the responses in this thread.

ETA:
Although, this is sort of pulling me out of the food funk. I can go back to trying to make the best choices I can in my situation, instead of throwing my hands up.. so there's that. I feel good about myself if I eat well, and I feel terribly if I eat rubbish food; like I'm just a horrible person or something. I just have to keep fighing, you know? Keep fighting.

KittyKatFan
07-16-2012, 10:02 PM
If it were that simple, I wouldn't be the enormous person that I am today. .

You are 5'9" and just slightly over 200 lbs. that's hardly "enormous" IMO.

Arctic Mama
07-16-2012, 10:15 PM
Oy, you may have misunderstood me.

I wasn't giving you tough love, I was being as diplomatic and logical with this as possible, in an attempt to help you. As I said, if you're not ready to confront the real issues, you can't force it through diet. A diet can only ever fix food, it can't fix our minds, hearts, self image, relationships, or anything that isn't FOOD related. And very little of most weight problems is actually strictly food. If you don't get to and deal with the root, the difficulties will keep popping back up and it will be a battle. It becomes a bit like dietary whack-a-mole.

So you're not ready to deal with the root, from all you've indicated. Okay. If you just want a shoulder to cry on say so, and we won't try to give constructive advice to help you find solutions when you aren't ready or able to implement them.

Kahokkuri
07-16-2012, 10:16 PM
A couple key points really suck out to me in this thread:

Following a healthy plan is simple, not easy (once you figure out the right plan, of course).
Every choice you make is your own. Sometimes those healthy choices are incredibly hard to make–when you're being pressured, when money's tight, when food options are limited by your location, when you're mentally down, when you're PMSing, etc–but this choice is still yours.

The most empathetic thing I can say to other people who have stopped controlling their choices, like I have recently, is to start thinking about why you've stopped controlling your choices. Once you find out why you've slipped then you can go about the business of not slipping any more.

meltaway
07-16-2012, 10:24 PM
A couple key points really suck out to me in this thread:

Following a healthy plan is simple, not easy (once you figure out the right plan, of course).


Absolutely. I can see now that I used the wrong word. I did mean easy, not simple. Weight loss is simple. But so not easy.

You are 5'9" and just slightly over 200 lbs. that's hardly "enormous" IMO.
When you're 5'9 and all your friends are 5'5 you kind of always feel enourmous. :lol:

Oy, you may have misunderstood me.

I wasn't giving you tough love, I was being as diplomatic and logical with this as possible, in an attempt to help you.

So you're not ready to deal with the root, from all you've indicated. Okay. If you just want a shoulder to cry on say so, and we won't try to give constructive advice to help you find solutions when you aren't ready or able to implement them.

I wasn't directing my response to you, I tend to respond to things, and think about things in a really broad sense, so I wasn't directing what I said to you or even JossFit. I was merely contemplating what Kaplods said, and trying to assimilate some of the responses I was reading. If that makes any sense at all.



And as I'm mulling things over even further, I wonder (this isn't directed at anybody!) do we really deal with the root in this weightloss thing? The real root to our problems? I don't know if I'll be doing that...it seems to big, too impossible a thing to do. Is that perhaps the path to failure? Trying to scratch at the surface problems but not really connecting to the network of thoughts/issues that got me there in the first place? Maybe I should make a new thread about this... but I wonder how many people who achieve weightloss success really deal with all their issues with food. Maybe they put it away or cope with it, or try to ignore it all together, but I wonder how many people really solve it, (for lack of a better word).

Amarantha2
07-16-2012, 10:30 PM
Reading over this thread was great as I have been hungry since I reached my calorie limit but the thread clarified that I do have a choice and I am going to hang tough and keep the nice cal number for today.

We always have choices.

Arctic Mama
07-17-2012, 01:36 AM
Oh, very FEW people deal with the root, just about everyone who doesn't maintain their losses, in fact. There is a reason the percentage of maintainers is fairly small and it isn't because weightloss is PHYSICALLY impossible to maintain, I can tell you that much ;)

Let me make you feel better, or empathize a bit? I had an INSANE night tonight, and everything that could have gone wrong kind of did, in terms of controlling my eating. I ate off plan food and too many of them, because I used food to mask my stress and nervousness and just shoveled in, rather than dealing with the emotions with my brain I used my poor body as a shield. That is NOT conducive to weight maintenance and isn't healthy behavior.

What I should have done, and will begin to do right now, as it is over, is to go over what I did right and what I did wrong in my choices that led me to this end. Then I will reinforce or tweak my plan of action so that my very next choices are going back in the direction I need them to go. I had reasons, sure, and excuses, but in the end tonight I made the wrong choices and recognize that, so now I can do better going forward. I'm still pretty new to complete intuitive eating and using NOTHING but physical cues as my guide, so a few slip ups are to be expected, but I already see ways I can minimize this from happening even more in the future. Tomorrow, first chance I get upon waking, I can do better.

That is how you turn this around - make different choices, analyze and plan a better course of action. Forgive yourself for the failure but resolve to move on in a positive, goal achieving direction instead of declaring it a failure or yourself powerless to the circumstances you are in. We always have a choice, we don't always make the right one (like me, tonight!), but we can FIX that! Isn't that awesome?!

daniprice
07-17-2012, 09:02 AM
I had a couple of thoughts reading this thread:

I think when people change eating habits, perhaps they focus too much on what they can't eat. I have really discovered flavorful healthy food and I really enjoy eating it. I have no desire to sit in a chain restaurant and eat sub-par ingredients slathered in sauce to cover their inferiority (which is the story of most chains) I want good food, whole foods, herbs, spices and other things that I can look forward to. So the concept of me eating whatever I want has changed. I want a kale, portabella mushroom and goat cheese salad. I want curried cauliflower with cous cous and bok choy. And when I go away or to a wedding, the foods that get my attention don't change. However, I still want the cake. So I'll eat that too. But at least I didn't have the cake AND the prime rib AND the fried food at cocktail hour.

I don't understand where the concept of deserving a type of food comes from. First, that's just dangerous thinking and assigning way too much meaning to a food. Second and I mean this sincerely: No one deserves a brownie. No one. You want it? Eat it. But you don't deserve it. I know it is cliche but it is true that there are people who are starving to death everyday, so someone going on about deserving a dessert or junk food is being a fool. And it kinda pisses me off.

JossFit
07-17-2012, 10:10 AM
And as I'm mulling things over even further, I wonder (this isn't directed at anybody!) do we really deal with the root in this weightloss thing? The real root to our problems? I don't know if I'll be doing that...it seems to big, too impossible a thing to do. Is that perhaps the path to failure? Trying to scratch at the surface problems but not really connecting to the network of thoughts/issues that got me there in the first place? Maybe I should make a new thread about this... but I wonder how many people who achieve weightloss success really deal with all their issues with food. Maybe they put it away or cope with it, or try to ignore it all together, but I wonder how many people really solve it, (for lack of a better word).

Oh boy, wouldn't that be a huge can of worms! :o For me, I struggled with binge eating and my weight for a long time before I started to successfully lose and keep it off. In retrospect, I can so clearly see that my behavior was a symptom of my general unhappiness, and not that my weight and binging was the problem.
Once I stopped focusing on my weight so much and started focusing on work, my social life, and moving on from my divorce the weight just sort of came off naturally, and the binges became less and less frequent.

I think that for MOST of us, the same general idea can be applied; extreme behavior in terms of diet (such as bingeing, anorexia, bulimia, and other EDNOs) is probably the symptom of some greater root cause of unhappiness in our lives.

We can't always wait around for things to get better though. Sometimes with regard to dieting, working out, or making any sort of life changes we have to "Fake it til you make it" in a sense. You may not want to stop binge eating, you may not feel able to start a new workout program, or you might not feel like your relationship with your SO is all that bad (even though you're miserable) -- but sometimes you have to white knuckle it and take that first step.

Put down the food and walk away! Tell your SO you're unhappy! Start looking for a new job, a new gym, or a new puppy... whatever it is that is going to knock you out of your funk, it's going to have to start somewhere. You may hate getting up before 8am now, but if you drag your *** out of bed for a 6am run everyday this week you may find you actually love it.

I'm starting to ramble, but my point is this; you have to make that first step. It may not stick, you may stumble and you may completely fall down BUT you have to start with that first step, and whatever your situation, only YOU can do that for yourself.

Chrissy31
07-17-2012, 11:09 AM
I had struggled with binge eating and now since determining that my want to be thinner and healthier is stronger than my want for that cheeseburger, i have not for nearly a year. I am reaching my own frustrations with needing to take a medication that may be stalling my weight loss when i am so close to onederland, and to be honest my eating is better than ever...weight loss is a constant in my life but i want this so badly i can...for want of a better saying...taste it lol

krampus
07-17-2012, 11:31 AM
I'd also like to pop in and say that the following is true for probably half of people struggling with their weight: they just like food and eat more than they burn. No childhood trauma, no eating disorders, just liking to eat because eating is fun and food tastes good, and too much of any food but especially too much of the "wrong" food makes people fat.

Eydawn
07-17-2012, 11:40 AM
Ok. Three things. ;-)

1: Vegas... man, the mecca of weight gain! I was in decent shape until about 2 years ago, hubby and I spent 3 days in Moab and 4 in Vegas (waaaay too long for Sin City... we were disgusted by the time we left... just not our thang) and I went from about 171-173 pounds to 180-182. And it just started climbing from there. Dang! Shoulda kept hiking in the desert...

2: There is no one "root" cause that changes your relationship to food. That's the problem. Just like there is no one "magic diet" that will work. Your relationship to the world is ever changing, as is your body, hence why so many of us plateau and then need to change something in order to continue losing weight. I have emotional components to my eating patterns (stress, boredom) but I also have physical ones- when I can feel my blood sugar dropping and I'm starting to feel sick/fuzzy, I grab whatever's close and stuff it in.

I work in healthcare... I can't afford to crash, and I don't always have time to pre-emptively eat something healthy (though I do try and I'm still learning what helps me function the best). Also, if I'm exhausted at the end of a 12 hour shift (especially when I don't get off till 11:30pm) I have no motivation to cook and Wendy's is open late (darn that redheaded name thief!) Solution? Meal plan, give hubby explicit instructions on what to make for dinner, and hope for the best...

3: Sometimes you do need to eat something that tastes good and has positive emotional associations with it for you. For example, this past weekend, I did medical support at a bike race, and I ate more of those delicious breakfast burritos (delivered in excess to my aid station) than I should have. I hadn't had one since last year! To me, those burritos mean friendship, love, belonging... my Venture Crew is a rockin' group of folks, and there's food I only associate with being on duty with them, so I ate it ALL. Frito chili pie, burritos, race snacks... yeah. Starting over on phase 1 of South Beach today! But it was worth it, and I'm not angry- just know what I have to do to get back on the path. That's the key- interrupt the guilt. Yeah, I farted all weekend and gassed people out of the aid tent... and now I weigh a bit more than I should... but why be upset? I can't go back and NOT eat the burritos... so just move forward. Ya?

Lots of love to all of you today,

--Wendy

Arctic Mama
07-17-2012, 12:55 PM
I'd also like to pop in and say that the following is true for probably half of people struggling with their weight: they just like food and eat more than they burn. No childhood trauma, no eating disorders, just liking to eat because eating is fun and food tastes good, and too much of any food but especially too much of the "wrong" food makes people fat.

That generally becomes less true the higher the weights go. I've noticed definite patterns of mental and emotional disturbances emerging in the super morbidly obese subset with a higher frequency than just the obese or overweight. Many women don't get to the bodyfat ratios I began with just eating too much of yummy stuff. I *thought* that was the reason, for the longest time, but it turns out boredom and loneliness eating was much more to blame than simply wanting two more bites of brownie ;)

EagleRiverDee
07-17-2012, 01:43 PM
I've started to subscribe to the belief that it's ok to have a "cheat meal" but not a "cheat day" because gosh it's easy to eat a ton of calories in just one day. A cheat meal is so much easier to recover from than a whole cheat day (or days).

BlackBarbieKiss125
07-17-2012, 10:21 PM
I agree, you can't think you are done once you reach your goal weight.

Right now I work out 1:30 hours a day 7 days a week, but when I get to goal I will change that to 4 days a week at 1 hour a day.

Getting there is one thing, staying there is something else.