100 lb. Club - new highs and new lows - need support to start again!




facingfacts12
07-10-2012, 11:21 PM
Hello again everyone.
I haven't been on these boards in a long time although I have lurked once in a while.
At the beginning of this year I set out to lose weight and for a while there I did great and was immensely excited to see pounds start to roll off.
Then I got hit hard with shaky situations at work, long and thankless work hours, cancer in the family and one thing after another, I saw all my work begin to slip. No more did I have a minute free to be at the gym religeously, and even more so I didn't have time to plan meals - I just ate whenever and whatever. And gave in to lots and lots of thoughtless munching while under pressure or under stress.
My weight creeped up although never back to the 234 original, but close. I somehow maintained 231 or so for months. Many times I wouldn't weigh myself forever and then dread to step on the scale scared of what I would see, but it was always around 231. I kept thinking well, I guess my body has found its equilibrium. Too bad this equilibrium is 100lbs heavier than I wish. I kept telling myself I will tackle this weight loss battle again as soon as life eases up.
Life has not eased up.
But my equilibrium has. Two days ago I stepped on the scale and was mortified to see 235lbs. As I stepped off, the scale showed a digital error, so I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped on again, ready to see my typical 231.
But I was in for a shock. My weight showed at 238. If I had energy in me to cry I would have.
I need to drag myself back here and do something before my weight kills me.
I am living a horrible lifestyle. I life on coffee instead of water. I average 4-5 hours sleep per night. I work all day and my work means I have to sit on my a$s all day. And there is one thing I have learned. This weight loss thing does NOT happen passively. I can't just "be good" and not notice it and just go about my business and check 2 weeks later to see a delightful 4lb loss. I have seen that it seems to be that in order to lose any weight I have to be on it like white on rice. Literally keeping it at the forefront of my mind 24-7, living and breathing it, being on a motivational board, mindfully counting my water intake instead of mindlessly munching on anything (even when I munch on healthy stuff, from fruit to carrots, I just way overeat it in the long run).
I don't know why I have to battle this in life, but battle it I must.
I keep feeling like a failure that should just resign and accept it - that this is simply my new beat up post-kids body. And yet it hurts too much to accept a fate like that.
I used to be beautiful. I never used to be skinny thin, but I wasn't obese. Actually I look at photos of myself from the past and I would just give anything to be back there again. Instead it is depressing to see how year after year, I don't even want to see photos of myself. These are photos with my kids that are growing and I am forever imprinted into history taking up half the photograph (horizontally). I am hating summer because everything is about social gatherings around the pool. I don't want people looking at me period, what more in a swim suit. Physically I can't do a whole lot without actually starting to huff and puff - that NEVER used to be.
I'm a mess, and I want to clean up.
So back here... and want to try again, before I hit new highs and sink to new lows.


Jez
07-10-2012, 11:26 PM
You cant succeed if you dont try again! Did you decide on a method/plan?

Arctic Mama
07-11-2012, 12:05 AM
Whatever you choose, don't give up. Ever. If life throws you curveballs take breaks and maintain as needed, but always always ALWAYS get back on the horse. We all have those times, but you can't lose weight and maintain it for life without a "never say die!" mentality.

Don't accept your post baby body. After my second daughter I was in the 260's and officially began losing weight when the scale said 257. I was even higher during pregnancy with her. And here I am now, three and a half years later and officially a pound lighter than I was in HIGHSCHOOL. And that was with having another baby in the middle of losing, and numerous maintenance breaks and freak outs and stressful overeating. I didn't give up, and now I'm smaller than I ever imagined I could be and still losing.

Pick a plan (I suggest Atkins, I think it's one of the easier ones to maintain for life), buckle down, get to it and don't get discouraged. Two weeks of being on plan could well obliterate four or six of those pounds the scale showed, and a YEAR of dedication, just a year out of your life, could have you at your goal. Just try it and don't quit, see where you end up :)


envelope
07-11-2012, 12:07 AM
facingfacts - I was watching an episode of Extreme Makeover Weightloss Edition and 1 thing the trainer said about the person going through the year long weightloss was something along the lines of

"She keeps picking herself up and gets going again every time she goes off track."


The great news is that whatever you did in the past to lose weight worked...so you know that you CAN lose weight. You can do this!!!
I can not tell you that I have been perfect on this journey to becoming healthier. I have lost and gained, but I am becoming healthier. I could beat myself up over the weight I regained this year, but I am going to focus on moving forward toward living healthier.

facingfacts12
07-11-2012, 08:45 AM
thank you for this awesome encouragement, ladies! Arctic Mama, your success story is simply astounding! Its inspiration like you that makes the rest who are starting out getting to believe they can do it. Cause I swear, sometimes I feel like its not possible for me. (I have never lost more than 20lbs in my entire life on any weight loss plan I've done).
envelope, that is an impressive weight loss!!! I dream of one-derland. It used to be just a couple pounds away but now in two years I've been almost 40lbs between me and that "land". :(

I have not picked an official plan per se. I had bought Chris Powels book on carb cycling and was going to try to losely follow that. My "plan" for now is to drink 4 bottles of water per day, eat small meals every 3 hours, cut down significantly on the carbs (I have learned that I simply cannot have 500 helpings of fruit per day and lose any weight) and most importantly never eat after dinner (which is late anyway), cause a lot of the damage I do is all the late night snacking.
I am going to take stairs at work instead of elevator, but I'm probably kidding myself that I will have any significant time to go to the gym for the foreseeable future. I'm a little bummed about that.

In any case.. I feel like godzilla and I cannot WAIT to get rid of that feeling and start feeling like I'm doing something and am on my way.
I wish I didnt derail this year, but there is no sense in looking back (I know I will anyway, but I should try to not dwell on it too hard) and I should instead make a difference so that a week to 2 weeks from now I am already on my way, instead of not having done a thing and registering new highs on the scale. This has got to stop somewhere.

Judy Lynn
07-11-2012, 11:47 AM
Hi FF12, many of us have been where you are. I am just getting re-started this week after a big re-gain. You just have to do it. Get started. That is the hardest part. Never mind about shoulda, coulda, woulda. Today is a new day, and just treat it like the beginning of your journey. Look forward, not back.

You may want to buy a brand new, fresh notebook and start writing down everything you eat. It adds an element of accountability. Everything that goes in your mouth has to go in the notebook first.

You can lose weight without exercise, so if the gym is not possible right now, just start with getting your eating under control first. It is 80% (or 90%) of the battle. If you can get out for a short walk on your lunch hour or even in the morning before work, that will help with your fitness and mental health.

There is a topic on this forum for re-gainers that are taking it off again. Why not join us? Just scroll down a bit.

healthyginger
07-11-2012, 04:25 PM
Welcome back ff12!

I came back 3 weeks ago today. I've managed to stay on eating track so far. I agree-write down everything you eat- I write and count calories. It really does come down, bottom line, caories in versus calories spent. All weightloss programs really do cut that intake, it's just how you go about that that is different. IMHO. I am loosing. I'm glad you are coming back so quickly. I waited years to long " accepting this was it". Now , in pain at 61 I'm back again. I applaude you for being here.:hug:

linJber
07-11-2012, 10:04 PM
Welcome back. I hope things ease up a bit in general for you. It really can be hard being pulled in too many directions. But sometimes we just have to do what is best for us.

When I think of how quickly the time passed as I was losing weight, it never ceases to amaze me. Just hang in there - the time is going to pass anyway - you might as well be doing something good for yourself.

Lin

sluggerbean
07-11-2012, 10:41 PM
When I think of how quickly the time passed as I was losing weight, it never ceases to amaze me. Just hang in there - the time is going to pass anyway - you might as well be doing something good for yourself.

Lin

I really like this thought!