Weight Loss Support - Stupid mind games

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07-03-2012, 12:26 AM
I don't understand this whole psychological effect of weight loss. One moment I think I am looking ok. Then I look again and I am pretty sure I should say goodyear across my side.
What do I really look like? Pictures don't help, either. Some pictures make me look like a tanker truck filled with whale blubber, and some pics make me look just fine.
I don't understand why I seem to be getting less pleased with my body appearance when I am smaller and firmer. All I see is every little thing I started working on, and it doesn't seem like it has changed at all.
But logically I know that my clothes are too big and people notice a change. But I keep looking at myself and all I can see is the old me.
Has this happened to you? When did this change for you? Logically, if I lose another 7 pounds I will no longer be technically overweight. But I think I will not be happy even if I get to 160. When does this end? Why can't I just be happy with the success I have had?
I suppose I am not looking for a real answer, just needed to get this out. This makes me feel like I should just give up because no matter what size I am, I am not going to be happy with my body size. And I don't really understand it because otherwise my self esteem is good. I don't really have self esteem problems. The issue seems to be some sort of dysmorphic vision of my body. Luckily it has not inspired any unhealthy eating habits or anorexic type of behavior. Just a sense of disappointment.

07-03-2012, 12:33 AM
Boy, can I relate to this! I don't really understand it either! Sometimes I think I'm lookin' pretty darn good, and sometimes I think I look just as I did well over 200 pounds. It doesn't make sense.

It's scary to me, because I've been down this road and have been much smaller than I am now and still wasn't happy. Then I gained it all back plus some. I want to figure it all out so that doesn't happen again, but I don't really know where to start except to try very hard to be nice to myself, give myself credit for the accomplishments I make, and (even if I don't believe it yet) to tell myself I look good. I may be full of crap, but I figure it's worth a try.

07-03-2012, 05:19 AM
I feel that this is the cycle of life in a sense.
One day you feel awesome and you can take on the world and other days well you feel like staying in bed and just do nothing.
One day you see yourself as a vixen and other days you just see a blob.
Our perception of ourselves is at times distorted. So scales, smaller clothes and photos are there as evidence as to what you have achieved.

07-03-2012, 06:01 AM
I feel the exact same way. One moment I think ¨darn girl, you be looking hot¨and then the next moment I´m thinking that I look fatter than I ever have in my entire life. It is strange indeed how we see ourselves. I have no idea what I really look like in real life, or how I conpare to others.

So, I know exactly where your coming from. I wish I had some advise to help us out.

07-03-2012, 06:28 AM
I had the same effect, when I got down to 73 kgs, I was still thinking I was fat, but I was getting compliments from just about everyone, and men were starting to look at me, for the first time in years.

I never got to my goal weight so I don't know if it ever gets better....

07-03-2012, 10:14 AM
Yup... have that same problem! I'm only 13 pounds away from a normal BMI, so I've come a long way, but I still see the fat girl a lot.

I think I look good, and then I think I look like a blob! I hate it when I think I look great, and then I see a picture of myself and it goes out the window. I still strategically place myself behind something or someone for pictures whenever possible.

I don't know if there's anything that I can do to change this perception of myself. I suppose I will always have fat days and thin days, good pictures and bad pictures, but hopefully some time down the line, the good will be more frequent than the bad.

07-03-2012, 11:55 AM
Well I'm glad I'm not alone! Yes, I have these moments as well. Sometimes I look at myself and I see the weight loss and other times I think I look exactly the same as I did before. I notice my body a lot more too-I pay attention more. I think when I was heavier it was that whole "out of sight out of mind" mentality for me but now that I'm paying attention to how I look I'm more critical.

07-03-2012, 12:20 PM
I'm struggling with this as well. I find that after I buy new clothes in the smaller sizes or try out new makeup then I feel like I look a lot better. But then I'll catch myself on another day and think that I was crazy for feeling that way. I sometimes think it's my mirror at home. I can get myself all made up and feel like I look a lot thinner in my mirror. And then I'll be out and about and catch a view of myself where my stomach or face looks huge or the clothes look too tight. I'm also not very photogenic. I never have been even when I was thin. So looking at a picture is always eye opening. I totally feel like I look as bad as I did before losing some weight when I see a picture. I don't see the difference in pictures even though I know the clothes have changed.

I did finally make it under 200 lbs. I'm just barely under but I'm there now. Yet, I don't think the weight loss is very noticeable except that I've dropped 4 sizes now. So my clothes look smaller. And I think the bigger you are the more it takes too notice the weight loss. But there have been some close friends that say they can see it. And they're positive and tell me how great it is. And I appreciate that, but then my mind goes too 'well if I feel like I look this fat now with weight loss, how much worse did I look before?'. It's definitely all psychological. I'm sure that I look better but I know that I've got a long way to go before I feel like I really look better. But I'm trying to cling to those days where I do love the way I look with the weight loss and not focus so much on the days that I'm not. It's hard. :)

07-03-2012, 12:27 PM
I think that happens to most people. When I started, i would have killed just to be under 200 lbs. I remember when I got to 235, I thought I looked great. Somehow though, the smaller I've become, the more critical in a way. Like I don't know what I was expecting, maybe perfection. Which of course rationally, I know, is impossible. But Still!

The advice my mom gives for this situation is that it will always be something. If it's not that you think you look big, it will be a bad hair day or a bad face day or bad skin week or something! As my mom says, at least you have your health, and this fabulous body you've been given which can do all sorts of cool things and become stronger and healthier every day.

Pictures help you see where you're coming from but they're just one moment. They don't always show the sum of my efforts and intentions and personality and everything about me that is miles greater than my flabby stomach.

07-09-2012, 12:33 AM
I have a theory on this... As women we are cyclical and as we approach ovulation in the middle of our cycles we are flooded with hormones that make us feel sexy and evolutionarL speaking procreate. Then our egg releases and progesterone begins kicking in. We feel less attractive bloated less sexy and thenwe get our periods.

Anyone else think there is something to this?


Precious Little
07-14-2012, 10:29 PM
All I'm going to say is that sometimes the camera DOES lie. I can be holding the camera up to a mirror, and looking at my reflection - and the image on the camera screen makes me look like a third bigger than what I see in the mirror. Sorta 'camera trick' in reverse.

07-14-2012, 10:53 PM
I think it might have something to do with expecting perfection immediately.

I mean say you started out at 120 lb and you gained to 160, you would expect to see a bit of a belly, some width to your thighs, etc.

But now say you started at 200 lb and lost a whopping 40 to get to 160 with all that work you've put in your expecting to see sexiness and fineness not a belly and thunder thighs.

Sometimes I think we're all waiting for that perfectly toned, slim, body in the mirror and when it falls short of that, we think its not good (or good enough).

I don't think it's our old bodies we compare our currently bodies to. I think we're comparing our current bodies with ideal future bodies we're all hoping to have.

07-14-2012, 10:57 PM
i like to focus on how I feel physically. Maybe its cliche but personality is more than appearance, confidence is king. Focus on how great you feel after losing weight. That's the key for me. Get to a healthy weight and be happy with yourself.

07-14-2012, 11:14 PM
I don't have much input on this as far as advice. But I feel you in this, I can take pics after 35lb loss and see nothing .. I hope as we all continue to progress our self image changes

07-15-2012, 04:25 AM
I think it has something to do with not having a good point of reference. I don't know about you in particular, but I've been overweight for as long as I can remember. I don't really have a good concept of what I "should" look like at a given weight because it's been so long since the scale has dipped as low as it's going for me now. I have a nasty habit of looking in the mirror and going "man, I definitely look smaller..." starting to smile, then spotting my belly (biggest problem area by far) and immediately going in the opposite direction and beating myself up over how fat I still am. At that point I have to let myself do a rage workout, ride my bike around a bit, and remember that "holy crap...you've lost 24 lbs...that's a small child!"

07-15-2012, 08:59 AM
Ugh, I feel fatter than ever this week and I'm the lowest I've been so far. Last week I was feeling pretty good and thinner all the time. I don't know, I don't have advice. What helped a bit before was looking at my smaller clothes but right now I feel like I'm the exact same and my scale is just playing some mean joke on me.

07-15-2012, 10:26 AM
Adding strength training and to my exercise mix helped me with this. It improved how things looked a little, but that wasn't what helped. What helped was starting to feel thinner from the inside out, being aware of what my body could do and how it moved. It kind of drew the attention away from the mirror and in to how I feel living in my body.

07-15-2012, 11:35 AM
Ugh, I feel fatter than ever this week and I'm the lowest I've been so far. Last week I was feeling pretty good and thinner all the time. I don't know, I don't have advice. What helped a bit before was looking at my smaller clothes but right now I feel like I'm the exact same and my scale is just playing some mean joke on me.

Aww, Leila! :hug: Have you been lifting at all? You know I'm going to preach weightlifting all day long, but it really does help so much. Keeps things nice and tight as they get smaller!