All my life I've been one of, if not the biggest girls in the room. I went to visit my cousin and her kids a few years ago and we took pictures together. She's tiny, 5'5 and probably 110 pounds. Next to her, I look 30 years older and i'm about 10 years younger! It's absolutely disgusting the space I took up. I look 3 times her size and I basically am.. My biggest conflict with losing weight is that I've never been a normal weight, so I almost feel like I'll never be able to do it. I have no idea what it's like, what i'd look like, what to expect. I've been bigger for as long as I can remember, so in my head, it's like bigger is what I'm suppose to be. It's really hard to imagine myself in a way that i've never been. Does anyone else feel this way? If you did and lost the weight, how did you feel after? This is just one of the reasons i don't try as hard as i should, because i truly feel like I won't be able to do it. I know it's bullshit, someone slap me. :P
SLAP!!
I too, have always been the biggest. or at least one of the biggest people in the room. But, I wasn't always aware of it either. or at least not consciously.
The activites I was involved with always provided for a joyful distraction. I hope that if you will find an outlet that brings you joy and that you let it distract you because it will be a positive companion on your weight loss journey. When I would find excuses for putting off losing weight over the past 10 years, I never countered these excuses with a reason to get the process started. Before it was " I should lose weight" and the excuse would come well it will fall off becuse well, I just had a baby 2 years ago! But, I now think about what the excuse was, and it seems silly on the face of it and it was! Especially now that my youngest is 8 years old.. Ha Ha!. Okay the last few years it's been " Well my life is too hectic now, and I need to take shortcuts, Like eating what I can when I can, because there is no time to prepare or search out what I should be eating" But recently ( a year ago) I would tell myself. "Hey,I'm Lucky to have been this size for this long and still be healthy. I don't want to push my luck, and I want to stay healthy, as I am now in my mid 40s." Yes, This thing takes effort and by far for me, is the hardest part of the struggle, to beat back the excuses with a response and not give into it. But to always answer your excuse
with the reason. and toGET TO IT!!. I hope you can use the advise. Don't give in! "NOW, GET TO IT" Look> I started this a year ago. I wanted to be below 200. It was a goal! I saw a photo of my husband and me sitting on the sofa and another of us embracing. Now, my husband is and was since we first met a normal sized man of 190 - 195lbs. but in the embrace photo it looked as though I was about to prey on him. It looked like a bear had just caught a deer. I weighed a full one hundred + lbs. more than him. The photo of what was a genuine happy moment when snapped, did not get relived (as it should) when I'd glance at the snapshot. So I set my goal to lose a hundred lbs.and then re make a nother genuinely joyful moment a ready camera. So it is taking a little longer than I'd hoped, but still I'm 71 lbs. less than when I started and I think we look pretty good together already. BUT, my goal is 100lbs. and I will continue. YOU SHOULD TOO! Please keep trying... I feel better about taking photos with anyone now and I could've started becoming camera shy after my realation. But then that is just another excuse really, isn't it? AND I will not allow myself to avoid being photographed .. That's kinda a reason there , isn't it?
Losing weight is very, very mental. Much more than the physical. It messes with your head in so many ways that I could probably write a book about it.
Like you I was always "bigger;" I've never been at a healthy weight until last year. It's very jarring to lose weight and get down to a place you've only dreamed of and there were times that it was quite difficult mentally for me.
I was nice to people, had friends, etc., but for the most part when it came to the gym I was left alone. I mean I totally had a little family and we all talked, but I was never the center of attention. Suddenly I was. Everyone talked to me and commented on my body when they never had before. It was shocking and very unnerving to suddenly go from being left alone to being the focus. I felt—and still do—that everyone is watching me and seeing if I lose more weight to scrutinize me. They're very supportive, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I feel as if I am an exhibit for everyone to study. It's pretty tough to deal with that.
There were times I would look in the mirror and not recognize myself. Sometimes I would feel as if I were living in another person's body. I suppose it must be different if one was thin and then gained weight, but I had never been in that position before.
I have to say that looking in a mirror and not being able to immediately pick myself out was one of the most surreal experiences in my life.
My mind has almost caught up with my clothing, but for a while I couldn't fathom fitting into the clothes I do now. I would constantly pick things too large or think that my old clothes would still fit me. I still remember picking out something that was just a bit too tight before I started losing weight and figuring that it must fit me now, only to find that it was comically large. I couldn't believe it! My mind couldn't process it.
Too often we view weight loss as only a physical thing. It's one of the reasons why people who have never been overweight just say "stop eating!" because they fail to realize what a giant mental struggle it is to undergo such a drastic transformation.
A large amount of weight to lose can be daunting and overwhelming for sure. I'd maybe try thinking of it in smaller amounts like 5 or 10 lbs. You've already lost 3lbs according to your ticker - I bet you can do it again and then again!
It is hard to imagine what a normal weight would be, in fact I read here all the time that people who have met their goal still see the bigger them. I personally would rather still see myself bigger and physically at my goal than doing nothing and see myself bigger with a body to match.
I truly believe that one of the reasons I'm finally succeeding after a lifetime of trying is that I don't let myself think about what I think I can and can't accomplish. In fact, I only look at what I KNOW I can accomplish.
That means that "this time," for once in my life (at least since I was 13 and 225 lbs) I'm not trying to lose more than 100 lbs.
I'm not trying to lose 100 lbs, and when I started, I wasn't trying to lose 250 lbs).
In fact, when I started I wasn't trying to lose any weight, I was just trying to eat a little healthier, move a little more, and to not gain. Just "not gaining" was cause for celebration (and still is).
Along the way I decided that if I could "not gain" successfully more often than not, then I might as well try to lose "just one more pound" while I was at it. I never worry about where this "not gaining and losing just one more" will take me. Maybe all the way down to an ideal weight. Maybe my last pound lost will be my last, or maybe the next pound will be.
Doesn't matter, I only deal with the pounds one at a time. Even if I backslide, I only work on "not gaining and losing one more."
I don't even let myself think about reaching the point when I will be able to get rid of the "one more" and will only have to deal with the not gaining part.
Getting and sharing support is vital for me as well, and I get that mostly from 3FC and my TOPS group (take off pounds sensibly - a weight loss club that's about 1/10 or less the cost of Weight Watchers, and you can win small prizes and recognition for weight loss making it even cheaper).
Yup, I've always been big for as long as I can remember. My mom tried putting me on diets when I was 9 or 10 years old. I think that is why I chose a "safe" weight of 150, that's the lowest/closest to "normal" I've ever been as a teenager and an adult. I can't imagine going lower than that. I get a bit anxious whenever I think about it, actually.
Maybe I will change my mind once I get there, who knows? But seriously, you can do it! Just take it one pound at a time.
Thank you guys so much. When I was in high school, I was 260 pounds. That's what I was around when I graduated. I think i'm going to make that my goal for now, just because I can see myself at that weight, because I've been there before. To be completely honest with you, i'm afraid to be any lower than that, because I really don't want the attention. I don't want people to suddenly start flocking to me when they've wanted nothing to do with me before. I don't know how i'll handle that. I've never been the type of person to judge someone's character on how they look on the outside. To be judged in that way because i lost weight, i can't even imagine how i'd take that.
I've always been big, and have no clue what it's like to be skinny. And like some of these women, I did not start out trying to lose a set amount of weight. I just wanted to eat healthier and move more. The weight loss has followed.
My advice would be not to try and look too far down the road because thoughts like that will just cause anxiety. Focus on today and the rest will follow.
I've always been the biggest in my circle of friends. I've sometimes felt like the weight will never come off. Even now that I've lost almost 40lbs when I look in the mirror I see absolutely NO difference. My friends and family tell me all the time that I'm losing weight but I don't see it.
I've been try to picture myself smaller but I just don't see it. What does help is me looking at before and after pics on this site. It especially helps if the person is around my height.
But really I try to just focus on the next 2 or 3 lbs that I'll lose and the next 10 or 20 minutes that I'll work out. I try to focus on these smaller accomplishments and Know that they will eventually take me to where I want to be.
Good luck. you will make it just stay focused and take it one day, 1 lb, one workout at a time.
Thank you guys so much. When I was in high school, I was 260 pounds. That's what I was around when I graduated. I think i'm going to make that my goal for now, just because I can see myself at that weight, because I've been there before. To be completely honest with you, i'm afraid to be any lower than that, because I really don't want the attention. I don't want people to suddenly start flocking to me when they've wanted nothing to do with me before. I don't know how i'll handle that. I've never been the type of person to judge someone's character on how they look on the outside. To be judged in that way because i lost weight, i can't even imagine how i'd take that.
And this is why you really have to do this for YOU!
I know it's hard to look past/ignore the unwanted attention you may get, but it's more important that you find somewhere that you're comfortable and feel healthy - whether that's at 260 or 150. I think it's a great idea that you're aiming for 260 as your first goal, that's an awesome way to encourage yourself - to get to where your body knows and you can mentally accept for now. Good luck!
Thank you guys so much. When I was in high school, I was 260 pounds. That's what I was around when I graduated. I think i'm going to make that my goal for now, just because I can see myself at that weight, because I've been there before. To be completely honest with you, i'm afraid to be any lower than that, because I really don't want the attention. I don't want people to suddenly start flocking to me when they've wanted nothing to do with me before. I don't know how i'll handle that. I've never been the type of person to judge someone's character on how they look on the outside. To be judged in that way because i lost weight, i can't even imagine how i'd take that.
260 is a great starting goal. Don't worry about the attention because at the end of the day you are in control of who you let into your life. Once you get down to 260 I'm sure you will continue to eat healthy and exercise which will cause you to continue to lose weight. Being healthy is what matters the most.
It can all seem so overwhelming now but try not to over think it. Its hard to say now what you will feel when you get down to 260 or 240 or 199. You don't want to talk yourself out of losing weight. I've done that in the past, convinced myself that I was fine with my weight and didn't want that extra attention (I'm extremely shy) but the truth is I want to look a certain way and dress a certain way that I can't now due to my weight, I want those things not for compliments from others but to feel good about myself and comfortable in my appearance.
Thank you for commenting. I'm trying very hard to change my attitude and how I look at losing weight. I'm going to stop trying to imagine myself at that "perfect" size for me, something that right now seems impossible, and just focus on what I know, the 260. Once I get there, i'll deal with the rest. And i'll probably be back here needing more tough love and motivation. :P
Anyone else feel this way?
