So i find it really interesting...I knew this old friend i once had and she was sooooo fat..like thick you know...and she was so kind to everyone. She laughed and giggled and was caring and considerate..She never talked behind anyone's back.. She was always giving and loving. I couldnt find one thing negative to ever say about her...But whats funny..is that years later, she lost a lot of weight..and a lot..i mean like a whole person practically...Well anyway, we hadnt been friends for awhile, we parted way cause we went to different highschools so we lost touch...Well...sure enough i bumped into her a few weeks ago and was like "oh hey! hows it going? Wow! You look great"! We ended up chatting and talking about life, catching up you know...So began what seemed like was going to be a re-connection and are friendship we once lost...She knew i was on a diet and she was really supportive of it...or so i thought.. Turns out she has been talking to other friends of mine that we so have in common..some even from high school...and turns out she is totally talking behind my back and saying nasty things about me...i mean..she is really mean....She is totally just ripping me to shreds according to my friends..They were stunned and so was i....And its like...how could a person who was so nice when they were fat, all of the sudden be so mean when they are skinny? I thought getting thin would make you nicer and happier and better??? And its like..what did i ever do to deserve her talking bad about me??? Does she hold some grudge i dont know about??? Seriously...
Anyone else come across people who used to be fat who have lost lots of weight and found that there personality is not quite the same???? Like..theyve changed for the worst and not the better ever since losing weight???
How do you know she is saying mean things ? Because somebody said so ?
I don't think I would believe the stories you are getting. Could it be that your "so called friends" are jealous ? Do they resent you being friends with someone else? Just from what you are saying this story doesn't ring true to me.
A person's weight doesn't change who they are. Maybe you just didn't notice before?
This. Skinny NEVER equates happiness, or niceness for that matter. Maybe you didn't notice, or maybe you didn't know her as well as you thought you did.
Well the friends i have, have been friends with me for a looooong time.. i would rather put my trust in them, than put my trust in an old friend..I mean i think its possible she is saying mean things..the question is why? I doubt my so called friends are jealous..we hang out so often together, that would not even make sense. I mean i suppose its possible that one of my other friends is making it up? But the odds of that seem to be greater then the latter?
it sounds like you've been out of touch with her for a very long time. just because she's skinny now doesnt really mean that it was weight loss that did it. it could of easily been other things in her life, ESP if you lost touch with her in highschool. Highschool can really change a person / shape them into who they will be. if she was very overweight then, she could of had a really rough time and just turned sour before she'd ever lost the weight, or just been influenced by catty friends. who knows. I kinda doubt it's simply that she lost weight.
in any case, I'd call her out on it and stop hangin out with her.
Other things could have possibly changed her personality too. It doesn't have to be her weight. Could be completely coincidental. But I have noticed people who become more attractive to others tend to let it go to their heads. Don't let her harsh words bother you. You keep up the good work! And when you become skinny remember how she acted and DON'T become like her.
I have a theory that some heavier people try extra, extra hard to feel accepted by being extra nice all the time, that if they don't try so hard no one will look beyond their appearance.
Maybe now that she's happier with her body, she doesn't feel the need to try so hard with her personality?
I think a lot of people go through a period after weight loss where they get annoyed that everyone is fat because THEY just lost weight and therefore it's easy and everyone else should too. But that doesn't account for the gossip and backstabbing factor...those are just traits of being a lousy person.
Perhaps you should ask yourself why you assume her weight loss equals the change in her personality. This could be a very enlightening path to understanding some of your own negative and positive attributes.
I've found throughout the years that "the study of self" is always more interesting than trying to understand others.
I think a lot of people go through a period after weight loss where they get annoyed that everyone is fat because THEY just lost weight and therefore it's easy and everyone else should too. But that doesn't account for the gossip and backstabbing factor...those are just traits of being a lousy person.
I agree with this too. Maybe she said something and they took it a completely different way? Maybe she was giving out some "tough love" and it got distorted?
Kinda like the telephone game...
I would say ask her. Tell her you heard some unsettling talk that she has been saying mean things behind your back and you want to get the truth.
I can say at one point in my weightloss experience I was trying to get my family to join up with me. I was doing it.. and going out of my way to do it (4am gym time since it was the ONLY time I could go with my schedule) why couldn't they? I didn't get to the point of being mean.. but I was honestly frustrated.
I dont like once fat-skinny mean people.
