[jules1216]

Ok..ongoing saga...My 27 year old son moved back home with me and his two boys under two. Their mother moved to CA with an ex got married, was pregnant but now has miscarried. (Makes me wonder if she really was preganant at all since it happenned right before the first doctors appt with the new hubby that married her to put her on his insurance for the baby)
anyways...
My son has stopped communicating with her...I have one email contact set up since we were told if we cut her off completely it can be used against us legally.
Last week she began emailing his friends wife...the wife is probably the weakest link in his friends. Pumping for info, playing the victim that we are keeping the kids from her....she moved to CA...what are we suppossed to do??? The wife knows the whole story and the couples actually did things together.
My sons ex got an in messing with the wife's self esteem issues by pretending she has info that the husband cheated on her while she was at the hospital with their sick child. She suggested that the wife leave the husband but has never given any proof of anything. The couple has been etting along great lately.

What does my son's ex have to gain by all this??? Any comments...

I go back to the my grandsons mother is a controlling narcissistic sociopath. It took me years to see it, but she has no real emotions but uses the emotions of others to manipulate them.

[justanotherchix]

Some people are drama crazed...they are bipolar, or have PTSD, or something, and they thrive on conflict / adrenalin and constant stimuli (usually negative).

All that can be done is to control how you respond to them, ideally by not responding ~ they won’t get the excitement and drama they crave and so they move on to get from some place else

I deal with this every day working with clients of DCYF, it used to be infuriating to me, but after all these years I now see it more as just sad really

Best of luck to you and your family, and hold on to the knowledge that eventually she won’t be a factor in you or your son's world after the kids are grown

[cherrypie]

I don't think your son has anything to gain from the spreading rumours thing. The courts don't care about stuff like that.

has your son seen a lawyer? his best bet is to move towards getting custody

[i33BabyGirl33i]

yeah i suggest you get a lawyer for this situation

[jules1216]

we are waiting for the six months of her not contributing to care and support to get her for abandonment along with desertion and medical neglect...

[Cemommster]

some people are just plain selfish and do not think. My ex bil is one of them.

[Natasha22]

You should stay as far away as possible from this woman. Clearly, she has some issues and is a drama seeker, unfortunately you can't completely cut her out from your lives, as she is the mother of your grandsons, but maintain a minimum contact. As for the friend's wife, she should be smart enough not to trust the words of a pathological liar.

[novangel]

You're dealing with immaturity. Nothing more, nothing less. Get a lawyer and set some rules into place. She needs to be paying child support at the very least.