Trying to pinpoint EXACTLY why eating in front of others makes me want to binge
This is so bizarre. I can otherwise be doing 100% well on my diet, able to have a small treat occasionally without binging, but be UNABLE to eat out with others without binging. Yesterday i was going out somewhere unhealthy so i saved my calories for it, and i ate the stuff...but it made me want to go home and binge. Why is this????? I know part of the problem in the past has been: 1) eating "off plan" makes me feel and then i binge, and 2) i get stressed i want to eat more in front of others, so i don't, but instead i go home and binge. But this makes no sense if i planned the high calorie meal into my eating plan!! I seem to have some kind of combined social and food anxiety. If i could figure out exactly what's going on here, it would help to fix the problem! This happens whether i eat strictly when i go out, eat a ton, or anywhere in between; regardless, i think 75% of the time, i end up getting the urge to binge and i count the minutes until i can get home and do it.
Perhaps you are just very empathetic. Being in an environment where everyone’s doing nothing else but eating can actually determine you to eat more than you need or want, because we, as social beings, tend to mirror other people’s behavior. Women are especially prone to mimic other women’s eating habits. So if you’re in a room where the majority of women are eating, you might feel a false sensation of hunger just to follow along. The solution to this problem would be top simply analyze your own sensation and figure out if you’re actually hungry or just mirroring the hunger of others. There’s an upside to this as well: if you're around people who are on a healthy diet, you’ll feel compelled to eat healthy too!
I really relate to what you are saying. I have social anxiety disorder, so I know part of my issues with eating in front of others stems from that. I am convinced they are watching me and judging me, and then feel horrible. This leads me to want to go home and self-soothe with food in private. I haven't found a great solution to this issue yet, but one thing is deliberately saying to myself "no one is watching you, no one is judging you." and then trying to use another method of self-soothing (like taking a bath or meditating) instead of eating after I get home. I still have a long ways to go, though.
-Jacqueline
usually, I binge after eating out in front of others, because I didn't get what I really wanted or EAT what I really wanted, and I go home feeling deprived and mad that I did not get what I wanted. This leads to a binge.
It is a good idea to figure out why you do the things you do.
I really can't figure it out. I think when i'm in a large group, i have social anxiety which makes me want to eat out of nervousness, but i don't want to pig out in front of others, so i wait until i get home and do it. That makes sense. But i do this even when i go out with close friends!! (No nervousness there). That absolutely does not make sense.
I used to do that as well, but for me it was more of a "Well, I already ate crap at dinner and my diet is ruined for the day, so I might as well eat EVERYTHING I have been thinking about/craving."
For me, I feel like I'm on display when I'm out with my thinner friends -- like they're watching me closely. God forbid anyone mentions "diet" at dinner! I don't want to talk about it, and call more attention to myself. I agree that it might be having to be "in control" at a group dinner because I'm on display, and when I'm finally at home and can be comfortable, I self-sooth with food. Weird. My counselor has told me that just being aware of such times is a BIG accomplishment... now to overcome the feelings.
I really can't figure it out. I think when i'm in a large group, i have social anxiety which makes me want to eat out of nervousness, but i don't want to pig out in front of others, so i wait until i get home and do it. That makes sense. But i do this even when i go out with close friends!! (No nervousness there). That absolutely does not make sense.
I feel that too. I don't want people to think I am a greedy pig so I try to eat more slowly, not help myself to too much extra stuff, maybe even leave a few mouthfuls on my plate. But in reality I want to eat everything. And seeing everyone having lovely meals, and all the choice available gets me thinking about all the nice things I would love to eat!! But I have to keep in control. Sometimes the only way I can do it is to think about eating when I get home. I have been known to go for a meal with friends, and on my way home buy takeaway.
For this reason if I am having a night out, I prefer not to eat a meal out first, it just makes it hard for me. I end up getting too preoccupied with food and can't enjoy the rest of the night properly. If I am eating out I prefer only that.
I hope that helps, maybe your reasons are similar to mine?
xxxx
Maybe it's because you want to be a "normal" eater and eat like everyone else without worrying about it.
I think that's probably it. I'm kind of uptight about food because i want to stay on plan etc etc. Which just makes me nervous, and being nervous makes me want to eat. It really doesn't make any sense but i hope i get over it.
I do this too.. generally it's the places i'm at, combined with being uncomfortable w. ordering what I really want and then I never finish food in front of people.. then when I leave, well i've already had junk and i'm not satisfied... stop elsewhere to pick up more junk!
Trying to pinpoint EXACTLY why eating in front of others makes me want to binge
