Hi All,
Newbie here. I'll try to keep this as short as possible. Quick background:
I'm 25. I've gained probably 60 pounds since high school, 40 of those the last 4 years. I'm only 5'2"... I've got boobs that are HUGE and continue to grow. I was never tiny, but never struggled with weight loss until I started doing pageants. I was underweight when I was 16. Did some major crash dieting (at my mother's hand). But once the weight starting pouring on after high school, it has been impossible to stop it. I gave up about a year ago, because no matter what I did, I was not seeing results. People that I haven't seen in awhile don't recognize me. People talk about me behind my back, and it gets back to my family and causes them so much pain. My 2 older sisters are so skinny and never had to work out a day in their lives. My boyfriend and I have been together almost 6 years. Our sex life has suffered because I am no longer confident in myself. I avoid pictures, swimming, cute tank tops, all the things I used to love in life because I am ashamed of my body.
Has anyone been here before?
I finally starting working out again, determined to turn my life around, but once again, it is not helping. I work out 1hr + 4 days a week and eating much healthier without seeing results.
I've been reading everyone's success stories on here and they are inspiring. I feel broken and really don't know what to do next. I am sorry to pour out my feelings on this, but I cannot express my feelings to those that I love because I am so embarrassed. They've listened to me cry, paid for gym memberships, sent me to doctors, offered all the support in the world. I feel like I've failed them and myself.
Thanks for listening. Any advice? Anyone ever feel this way? What worked best for your weight loss? Thanks again.
You have to give yourself time. You can't lose all of the weight in one day. You have to be committed, diligent, patient, focused and smarter than fat. It might be slower than you want. But if anything comes off, it is a success. You are successful if you keep working at it. You are only a failure if you give up. I personally try to eat whole foods in their most natural state, as well as counting calories for the day. I try not to go over 1800, but occasionally I do because I am hungrier, have eaten less for a while and need to up it a bit, or whatever. I also eat more on days I work out. For exercise I do strength training first, and then high intensity interval cardio for usually no more than 30 minutes. I exercise 5 times a week, about an hour each time. When I exercise, I am giving it my all. I put in every effort to get the most out of my workouts. I started this journey again in March, and I weighed 199. I weigh 182.5 this am. I am convinced that this is the last time I will do this to myself. There are many ways to reach your weight loss goal. My story is certainly not the most compelling one here, and my way is not the only way. I am sure some other ladies will chime in with more advice and encouragement. Best wishes and welcome! Just don't give up, and you will succeed!
I feel exactly the same way you do. lots of area's of my life have suffered as well. I have lost 60 lbs in the past drinking slimfast eating half of what i normally would and dancing around my room a few days a week. but in the last few years i have gained it all back i am at my top weight again and im tired of it, im about to be 27 and my weight has stopped me from having children which is what i want the most im just starting again, its been a week and i am feeling great! I did some research on loosing weight and what i have came up with is this. dont diet, don't try to get skinny, focus on getting healthy and being healthy for the rest of your life, I have found that if you cook all of your meals and add veggies and fruit to your meals, eat the correct surving size you will not be hungry. and if you allow yourself to be hungry or skip meals you will not lose any wheight because your body will eat your muscle instead of your fat, and it will slow your matabalism. and if you work out three days a week and do interval compound exercises for about 45 min and the 15 minutes high intensity cardio! It seems to be working I am so sore. but it feels great!! I hope that helps.
YNR- You should not beat yourself up. It happens, I let myself get to 242 once. But what is important right now is that you are doing something about it.
You say you are working out- how long have you been at it? Give it at least 2 weeks. Also, do you know how many calories you are eating/drinking per day? You may not be eating enough. We have about similar stats and I eat a range of 1500-1800 (lowest on non-workout days) I've found that weight loss is not linear as in consistent loss every week but it does average out over time. I don't always remember that when I get on the scale, though.
Even though I have lost 40lbs, I am basically starting over after a year hiatus (thankfully only gained 5lbs over the whole year!) I decided not to do Weight Watchers anymore, just want to stick with calorie counting. I am getting the hang of it because I practically eat a lot of the same things and a kitchen scale helps a LOT. I am also doing 30 minutes to an hour on the elliptical 2-3x a week and some weight/resistance training 2-3x a week.
Once you figure it all out, you'll be losing before you know it! Just keep pushing through.
I gained a lot of weight in high school. I was already overweight, but I went from a size 10 to an 18 probably needing a 20 in the span of a year. That is a lot on someone who was 5'2" at the time.
I started going to a gym when I was 16 and it was one of the best things I ever did. It instilled confidence in me, I learned to love myself, and by the time I left high school I was a size 16 (and weighing in at 200lbs). So some weight loss (and probably a good amount, considering how long it takes to go from one plus size to another!). In college and graduate school I continued exercising and managed to get down to a 12/14. Very slow weight loss there, but I wasn't gaining and I was totally fine and confident with myself so I didn't care.
It was the eating though that did me in. Once I got that under control the weight came off. Last year at 182 I cut my portions and started to lose weight after a successful attempt in December 2010 helped me drop 8lbs that I kept off. From there on I started calorie counting and...here I am. At a weight I want to maintain and still calorie counting to do it.
It's great you're going to the gym; KEEP DOING THAT and make it a habit. Make it something you just do without argument. When you feel comfortable enough start looking at your food intake and figure out how much you're eating and what you're eating. See which of the plans here fits your lifestyle and try it out. If it doesn't work, try another There is one for everyone.
I've had a pretty major weight increase myself over the last 10 years or so. It was due in part to having a few medical issues, large amounts of stress and then giving in to depression eating. None of those are very good for one's overall health that's for sure. The best advice I can try and give as someone who also used to be underweight "back in the day", gained, and who is trying to get healthy again is to always remind yourself that you're doing your best. One thing that I've found also, it's that even if you aren't a stress eater, for some people it can still keep weight on you. Try to find at least one thing a day that makes you happy. Doing that one thing or finding those 30 mins or an hour, whatever works, and just let yourself enjoy that time. Be free from worry about weight, bills, even other people. I've started doing that and it does make me feel a bit better and a little more relaxed. Remind yourself that you're on a new path in life, and whatever has happened in the past with weight or doctors is exactly that- the past. For every day that goes by now where you know you've made an honest and genuine effort, you're one day closer to where you want to be.
Even though I love to swim, I avoid swimming like the plague too. I hate shopping, already not fond of it and now I don't like trying clothes on or the size I have to scale UP to in order to fit. And I'm always afraid people are looking at me because I'm too fat to be with my husband. He's not skinny, he has a little pudge, but it's a bit of a ding to one's esteem when you realize he's lost weight for changing practically nothing and now you're the same number on the scale as him. But I know that I have a goal and it's a major one that will have a positive impact on how I feel internally and externally and that's what motivates me. You have the ability to lose and do it in a healthy way, don't forget that! If it seems like certain exercises aren't working, try new ones or rotate your schedule. Give yourself license to try new (albeit healthy) foods and know that if one way doesn't work, there are plenty out there that can be explored to find what fits your body.
WELCOME!
This forum has helped so many of us stay on track (including me) so I hope we can help you too<3 I definately know where you are coming from with the intimacy thing, it's terrible. Not feeling "hot" or "sexy" enough naked in front of your boyfriend. This is probably my biggest insecurity because with the right clothes I don't look "that fat" but naked wow...rolls everywhere. I know you can achieve your goal, just don't give up and come here for support of course because this is the longest I've stayed trying to lose weight in my life! I'd always give up 1 week in and now I've been on this journey for a little over 3 months. Best of luck! <33
My experience is somewhat similar. I was athletic and fit when I was in high school and university, and I never weighed more than 130-135 (usually around 125). I was a national team athlete, and I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted because I was so active.
After university, I moved to a city where I knew almost no one and started packing on the pounds. I got an office job and my weight continued to climb. My two biggest challenges were making the decision to start working out again, and deciding to change my entire approach to food. I was in a rut for so long - I wanted to lose weight, but was too lazy to do anything about it, too embarrassed with my lack of fitness and so unhappy with my body that I just couldn't motivate myself.
About two months ago, I decided that I was going to act. I started working out at home (so that I didn't have to deal with body image issues at the gym) and bought a bike. Now I work out most days - either I do one of Jillian Michaels' workouts, or I take a nice long bike ride. I started calorie counting, but I was killing myself trying to lose weight. I never ate enough, and got frustrated with my lack of progress (likely because my body was consuming lean muscle instead of fat). I berated myself for not losing weight, and didn't realize till I joined this community that weight loss is a journey that cannot be rushed, and being a healthy weight will take a life-long commitment. I switched to the South Beach Diet a little while ago, and it has been amazing! It has given me the motivation I need to say no to junk food, no to second helpings, no to alcohol and more importantly, no to ALL the times my skinny boyfriend wants to have an unhealthy snack.
You can do it! Instead of giving in to a craving, come visit this forum and find some inspiration to move past it. Learn to listen to your body - let it tell you when you're really hungry (as opposed to eating for other reasons).
Give yourself time, and celebrate the little successes. Don't try to aggressively lose weight, and make sure you eat healthy whole foods most (if not all of the time). Also, I really would recommend the South Beach Diet to anyone.
I noticed in your post that you said your family was trying to help, paying for gym memberships, sending you to doctors, etc. but the only one who can help your situation is you. Yes, we're here to support and encourage, but face it - losing a lot of weight is hard work and I'm as guilty as the next person of not liking hard work. You've got to eat better with smaller portions and move more and often - doesn't matter how you move at this point, but cardio is best for seeing results fast, and you don't need a gym membership to walk in the neighborhood or do a DVD at home.
If you haven't already, cut out all sodas, sugar, and white carbs, and you shoud see results and feel better quickly. This is not easy, and it will take days/weeks to get over the addiction, but it will absolutely be worth it and the cravings will stop.
Oh, god yes. I've never been thin, but in high school, I was right around 195. Heavy--obese, even--but given my height and overall build, it didn't look criminally bad.
I gained 30 pounds my freshman year of college, up to 225 that summer. Three years later, I was at 325-ish. After that? Well, I just stopped stepping on the scale, to be honest. My high weight? Just an estimate--I suspect it was higher than 360. I felt like a failure--I was utterly mortified by how I looked, and how out of control and miserable I was. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it, mind you--I just avoided seeing anyone and everyone who'd known me when I was thinner.
Fortunately, what's done can be undone. And though we'll never be without the scars, we can always take our future into our own hands. And all the gym memberships and special food in the world isn't going to do jack until we're ready to take that step. Welcome.
Welcome!
I can tell you what I have done and it worked for me and my husband. I cut out pretty much all sugar, I read labels like crazy. I cook all my meals myself and usually I eat nothing but raw fruit/veggies for breakfast and lunch. Every once in awhile I go to subway but I am still very strict. It took me years to get the courage to do this, I feel so much better! I am so happy I decided to take that step. Sounds to me like you are ready too. You have to give it a "I am going to do this no matter what or how long it'll take me I will succeed!" kinda attitude. Good luck with your weight loss. I think it is horrible that people are talking behind you back and it is getting back to your family!!! What is up with people now days..
I know what it's like to feel so embarassed/ashamed of yourself. you arent alone and it can be done. finding a plan that you can stick to for the rest of your life is the hurdle. there are so many tools out there. 3fc is one of them keep us posted on the plan you pick - you can do this! (i'm a calorie counter/walker and yoga for exercise)
Thank you everyone for the advice/well wishes/luck/hugs/etc etc! I am overwhelmed at the support I am getting here! I was having a pretty terrible day when I wrote my original post and realized I probably came off a little more vain than I wanted, lol. But I feel blessed to have found this board! Thank you everyone. I will stick around and follow your journeys, post updates, cry and laugh with you. Congratulations on all of everyone's hard work so far.
I am having a hard time with this lifestyle adjustment change. I got my butt going to a gym, working out often, eating healthier... That's not a problem. It's going to be hard for me to cut out the carbs and alcohol. I believe you gotta work hard to party hard and I do both. I work very early mornings so come Friday and Saturday, those are my days to unwind and I confess I probably drink more than I should on the weekends. Although I only do light beer or rum&diet.
I did the South Beach diet in college and I have to admit, I HATED every day of it. It worked, I lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks with very little exercise but I was miserable the whole time. I guess I just need to find something that "works" for me and my lifestyle.
LoL, YNR- I do like my alcohol too! I do make up for it with exercise and sometimes calories too but not too much where it's more in alcohol than food, though. Maybe a tip that could help you as it helped me- drink a glass of water after every alcoholic drink if possible. Gives the alcohol time to kick in and you won't need as much AND I notice I don't retain water as much the next few days after drinking. Good luck with whatever you decide with your lifestyle.
Embarrassed at what I've Become
There is one for everyone.
