Ideal Protein Diet - Learning to forgive myself and ask for Help




Pookiepotpie2
05-10-2012, 08:02 AM
Good Morning my IP family-

I know I can come here and share how I am feeling or what is going on without being judged or kicked when I am down. I shared a week ago that I gave into carbs once at dinner and now I am constantly fighting to stay on plan but I am not giving up. I starting thinking about my old patterns. I have been heavy since I was a child (when parents go divorced hmmmm wonder if I us food as a coping mechanism ;)) I have tried almost every diet out there usually without much success I lose a few pounds and them I am looking back months later with food in my hand going what happened :p. I had gastric bypass (please if you or a friend is thinking about that talk to me first I won't try to change your mind but I will share my experience) So this time I really want to look at my patterns and I realized if I slip a little I make it a big slip figuring I will start again on Monday. I am not doing that this time I am not even doing "I will start again tomorrow". Whenever I slip my next meal is a chance to get back on track I also never share with anyone or ask for help because I have so much shame and I am worried about being judged. My mind tells me people will look down on me and say oh she can't even stick to plan or she's weak. I know now that is just my carb monster:devil: trying to win so I will give it more of what it wants. Today I am not going to hide from the boards or be ashamed to tell you guys that I messed up and am struggling!! I need you and don't have to keep secrets from you! Yesterday was my birthday and I gave into "going out for my birthday with friends" I am not going to blame anyone but myself I have never seen a restaurant that didn't have salad or veggies. I just want to try to break my lifelong pattern and I will start this morning by being honest. I am planning on today being successful and I am taking it one meal at a time so I don't feel overwhelmed. Thank you all for being here and letting me share this with you. I know we can all do this if we just don't give up!! :hug:


Samba
05-10-2012, 08:34 AM
:hug:I think it is great that you want to be honest and that you do not want to give up!! This is a very real battle for most of us. If it were easy or the core issues easily vanquished, it would not be the challenge sooo many experience. You are doing awesome to try and find ways to stay on track and then to get back if you deviate from the plan. Keep trying, keep going!!

Poop on the shame thing! Set a timer on that feeling! Sure you want it to help motivate you to not go there again, but no need to beat yourself up!! Forgive yourself and love yourself. I am working on having compassion with my struggles rather than being the usual critic.

I think our stumbles and challenges really can help us get to the problem if we can try and get some understanding about them. Do you have any tools that you use to help you with the feelings of wanting to eat something?:hug:

Cadu
05-10-2012, 08:50 AM
Pookie

Please be gentle on yourself, when we beat ourselves up we tend to get into a self defeating cycle and that in my opinion makes it hard to get back to business. I have found in my own life experiences that shame can be crippling. Forgive yourself and move on, certainly don't feel shame when it comes to us on here we have all been there many many times. Keep your head up high and re-commit to doing what you know you need to do. Hang in there. You have shown on this board that you are a caring person who is always willing to help others. You are so worth being your best you.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!
:hug:


Momto2cs
05-10-2012, 09:24 AM
Read some of the books people have been commenting on-why we get fat or wheat belly.
If you understand the reasons for the cravings, and how bad carbs are for your overall health, it is much easier to stay op.
You can be successful on ip!

CassiR
05-10-2012, 09:36 AM
A lot of times we see each other doing so well and think it's easier than it really is. I think I can talk for all of us when I say each and every day is a struggle. We all take it one day at a time and thats what you need to focus on! I have had so many struggles with this plan and though "ugh all these other women have been successful and I feel like I want to cheat every second."
Thank you for sharing your struggles because it reminds us of how much we have all accomplished. You have lost 43 pounds!! This is very DIFFICULT! The cravings are hard to deal with! Good for you for hopping back on the wagon and facing the issues!
You are not the only one who struggles, and we are all here for you :)
:hug:

Ishbel
05-10-2012, 09:39 AM
Every year that I made a new years resolution to lose weight....it never happened....so I stopped making that a resolution and decided to just work on it. Two years now...amoung my resolutions is "I will be kinder to myself and forgive myself quicker".

I don't think it's always easy to not be hard on ourselves, but you can be a little nicer by remembering all the good things you've been able to do....AND! Just keep swimming....forgive a mistake and swim along. :)

When I excersise I put little stars on my calendar to help me visualize how many times I went to the gym....they are pretty and sparkle! lol

Do that for everyday your OP, that what when you have a craving you can look at your calendar to see how far you've come....and that you don't want to lose all that work. Because it IS work!

Good luck!

mtnsun4
05-10-2012, 09:45 AM
Pookie- I understand the mentality of beating oneself up constantly regarding food choices I have made in the past- even going off plan due to my carb monster getting to me, I beat myself up ridiculously. Speaking from my experience, you CAN do this. Get back up on that horse and stay OP today. Celebrate each day and meal as a success and meet your next goal of eating OP for the next and the next. You ARE worth it. :hug:

Exhale15
05-10-2012, 09:50 AM
:bday2you:

Keep trying. Change does not 'stick' until it sticks, so every time you go off plan, just get back on track the next meal. That's what you do.

Don't worry about what other people think. This is about you. Getting healthy takes commitment, which you obviously have other wise you wouldn't be upset about your slip-ups. Everyone who succeeds at this thing slips up. What makes them a success is that they get right back on plan (regardless of what the plan is). Every slip-up is a lesson and every time you get back on track you make being on track your 'new norm'.

:carrot::hug::carrot:

Dakin
05-10-2012, 10:18 AM
(((Pookie)))
Sounds like many more of us can relate to how you're feeling than you probably knew.
I've been really struggling too... if you've seen my posts recently.
I have been persevering on just being done
but last night I got to thinking, I've always been the fat dumpy one, and this is the first diet I've EVER stuck to, even this long... I might actually have a chance to not be the fat, dumpy one.... is it really worth giving up just because I have so many things coming up on the calendar? It's going to take a lot of work and some finesse, but I think (hope) I can stick with it and keep plugging away a little while longer.

(Of course, if you talk to me tomorrow I may have completely changed my mind AGAIN! lol)

So my point is:
- Keep coming here for support
- Don't give up on yourself, you are DEFINITELY worth the investment,
- and, Just Keep Swimming!

Exhale15
05-10-2012, 10:52 AM
Falling off and getting back on the wagon is part of the process. There comes a point where the scale tips (no pun intended) and you gain momentum :carrot: The more you engage in the process, including posting, reading about nutrition and exercise, and trying things out for yourself, the more you move toward your goal. It's like a big puzzle that we put together for ourselves and we're negotiating the pieces to get the best fit :)

evepet
05-10-2012, 10:57 AM
Oh, Pookie. :hug: Thank you so much for your honesty in starting this thread. The reason is that I also 'slipped' yesterday... I don't want to take away from your thread by elaborating too much on my own particular situation yesterday, but I caved significantly to temptation too and overdosed on my bars - I ate 8 of them!!! :o So I woke up this morning wondering whether I had the balls to be honest here and let everyone know that my discipline and positivity crumbled like a paper ball around 4pm yesterday afternoon... I gave in to 'just one extra'... and it was downhill from there for the rest of the evening. They are smaller high protein/low carb/sugar/fat bars with 'only' 100 cals each (how's that for rationalizing...) - but still...that was 800 cals in bars alone yesterday !! As I type that, I'm sort of both laughing at myself and kicking myself. For me I know it was at least in part because I felt really tired and sort of unwell yesterday, and while I didn't want to admit it (obviously even to myself) I'm frustrated by my sloow weight loss.

And here was your post!! :hug: Right at the TOP of the threads!! :hug: Which somehow prompted me to 'confess' myself in an effort to encourage you, and at the same time 'let it all hang out' and NOT feel shameful or embarrassed myself. Thank you!

Today's a brand new day. You are waaay far ahead of me in having successful weight loss on IP and I know you can jump back on again. You've come so far. I know I can too. :yes: Yesterday was just one day... it's back to 'IP business as usual' today. Thanks again. Here's to both of us having a 100% OP Day.

:cheers: This is a MIO and water toast btw .. and a mug birthday cake. :bday2:

CassiR
05-10-2012, 11:48 AM
Evepet,
I've thought about having multiple bars so often since starting the program.. lol. They are just too tempting! I commend you for getting back on the program so quickly. It is SO easy to just say "well i'm probably out of ketosis, I should just go indulge in my cravings now." and you didnt do that. GOOD JOB! And confessing.. I'm sure SO many people slip and are too afraid to post a confession. Great job getting back on that wagon! Now let that good ole pancreas snooze :)

evepet
05-10-2012, 12:23 PM
Evepet,
I've thought about having multiple bars so often since starting the program.. lol. They are just too tempting! I commend you for getting back on the program so quickly. It is SO easy to just say "well i'm probably out of ketosis, I should just go indulge in my cravings now." and you didnt do that. GOOD JOB! And confessing.. I'm sure SO many people slip and are too afraid to post a confession. Great job getting back on that wagon! Now let that good ole pancreas snooze :)

Thanks CassiR. I've had the urge before, but have been able to talk myself out of it before. I think yesterday's blow out was caused by a combination of things. And as to confessing... LOL... Pookie's thread definitely gave me courage. :D

Oddly enough, I'm not sure I took myself out of ketosis because the individual net carb count of the bars (net 3 gms) is very low (each has a very high fiber content). And the rest of my eating yesterday would have kept my carbs pretty low without all those bars. My total net carb count, including my bar overload, was 53gm (way too high I know, but maybe I managed to still hang on to ketosis)? I don't feel any cravings and I'm not feeling more hungry than 'normal' today. I think I might had dodged a bullet and stayed at least in mild ketosis. :^: But I've definitely got to keep a tight rein on any further (over)eating caused by tiredness, frustration, etc.

qsuzi1
05-10-2012, 01:30 PM
Pookie, your post will help others and I applaud your courage. You are not alone and I do understand how seeing so many others with greater success and possibly less struggle can be frustrated and demoralizing to us currently struggling. You did the right thing by seeking support, you are worthy, you have had success, and you will continue understanding and coping with any monsters.
Ishbel, Your weight loss inspires me to keep at it.
Evepet, there is no one on this board who has been so generous helping me and please let me know if there is anything I can do to return the favor. You are always so encouraging and helpful to members, especially those struggling. I am proud that you have hung in there really analyzing things and doing everything possible to speed the weigh loss. The slip doesn't define you.

evepet
05-10-2012, 03:01 PM
Pookie, your post will help others and I applaud your courage. You are not alone and I do understand how seeing so many others with greater success and possibly less struggle can be frustrated and demoralizing to us currently struggling. You did the right thing by seeking support, you are worthy, you have had success, and you will continue understanding and coping with any monsters.
Ishbel, Your weight loss inspires me to keep at it.
Evepet, there is no one on this board who has been so generous helping me and please let me know if there is anything I can do to return the favor. You are always so encouraging and helpful to members, especially those struggling. I am proud that you have hung in there really analyzing things and doing everything possible to speed the weigh loss. The slip doesn't define you.

Thx qsuzi.

patns
05-10-2012, 05:17 PM
Pookie;
What a great day to refocus your mind set; the day after your birthday. Battle the old carb monster back behind bars and set your goal as celebrating next year's birthday in a way better place with your weight and health.

Good suggestion to read one of the current books about carb addictions such as Wheat Belly.

artflunky
05-10-2012, 07:48 PM
Pookie, if we didn't have food issues we wouldn't be here. This diet is amazing but NOTHING is going to solve all our issues overnight. Good for you for being honest and getting back on the horse asap. This journey is for the rest of our lives. This was my first week on maintenance, met friends for lunch and sharing a piece of chocolate cake lead to a tornado eating frenzy. By 11:30 that night I felt like Garfield lying under a pile of empty wrappers, plates and bags. I was so sad the next day but this diet has given me a tool to compensate for my slips. It only took 1 clean day to feel like I was back in control. Hopefully we will be able get off the seesaw but in the meantime, we do the best we can. Never give up, you are amazing!

LizRR
05-10-2012, 10:16 PM
Pookie, I wanted to let you know that I have faith you can complete YOUR journey and make your goal and be the healthy person with the happiness you deserve. My mom had gastric bypass a few years ago and nearly died from the procedure, she has had problems with hair loss, vitamin deficiencies, and tooth decay & loss among others ever since. She lost a lot of initial weight and has gained over half of it back (300 - 175 - 240 @ 5'3"). Her sister, my aunt, had Lapband surgery and has gained back all the weight she lost and then some. The moral being, there are no quick fixes - i saw some of their food attitudes in myself and was on my way to just 'having the Davila genes'.

Part of this IP process is changing how you eat and think about food. We will all have our struggles, I am proud of you for shaking it off and getting back on track. You aren't alone, none of us would be here if we didn't have our own struggle and our own story. Please don't be ashamed and self sabotage, use this as a learning experience and gain some tools and knowledge on how to avoid something similar in the future. You Got This!

ferrousgal
05-10-2012, 11:23 PM
There's no need to beat yourself up so much. I think probably 99% of us on this diet have been there psychologically many many times in the past. We are human.

I think you just need to have firm goals and tell yourself that you are worth it and if everyone is having the office birthday cake that you know will set you back half a week or more to get back into ketosis, just smile, pass on it and maybe lie and tell them you are gluten intolerant (I almost did that myself Saturday night until I saw the table I was at selected a dessert that had chocolate covered strawberries, then I just smiled and passed the platter instead saying, "No thanks, not for me.") It was a big step for me to do that personally because I, too, have always in the past figured, "Oh, I'll just super get back on track tomorrow or Monday. Girl scout promise!" Small wonder I have to lose 80 lbs.

Set yourself up for success. Like this Mothers Day, I know my PILs are going to have some completely ridiculously large cake or something and they'll expect their fat a$$ DIL to dig right into a big slice. Un uh, not this year. I'm bringing my own dessert or fixings for such. I will be firm, remind them all that diabetes is a big deal on both sides of my family, and just enjoy my OP dessert knowing that I'm still in ketosis and not cheating myself and who I want to be!

One of the ladies told me a couple days before I started the diet that I have to just not worry about what my family expects me to do and just do what I need to do for myself and my health. Keep that in mind and when life gets you down, remember to just keep swimming, just keep swimming.