Weight Loss Support - How far do you want to go?

View Full Version : How far do you want to go?

05-08-2012, 12:16 PM
This may sound silly as I've just (again!!!) started to lose weight, but anyway, I'm wondering: how far do you want to go in terms of losing? I originally meant to reach a weight I had couple of years ago, when I felt (and hopefully LOOKED) good, although according to BMI I was still overweight (well now I'm obese :mad:)

Then I saw some of the BEFORE/AFTER pics here and I was actually surprised that people actually went to being SLIM, gorgeously slim like models even...

So...maybe I should really try and get my weight to NORMAL (for the first time of my life!). On the other hand, and I'll be honest here, I don't want to lose weight to a point where I could NEVER eat anything sweet or had to excessively control what I eat for the rest of my life. I want to get healthy, enjoyable life style, because the only reason why I do this is I WANT TO FEEL GOOD. And having to worry about every single bite is just not what feeling good means to me, if you get what I mean?

My sister and I have always been on the fat side, although she maintains more or less normal/slightly overweight weight for last ten years or so. Couple of years ago she decided to get her BMI to normal lost A LOT, she looked skinny (some would say nicely slim) but she also felt really crap. She never ate properly and was tired most of the time, her face was wrinkled (for 30 years old) and kind of grey...all that just for trying to keep the super low weight she reached (I don't mean she was anorectic, but just too skinny for her body type). So I guess what I mean, I don't want to end up like this. How about you, is it "skinny no matter what", or "healthy, feeling good, able to enjoy something not-so-healthy now and again"? And tell me, should I try for "normal weight"?

05-08-2012, 12:25 PM
you can always have some junk, no matter what your size is. dont limit yourself, stop when you're completely happy, in and out. not just "satisfied" if you know what i mean.

my goal is to look and feel better. I've never been obese, but I've been really overweight and I'm pretty normal now I'd say, more on the slim side, and I just feel amazing. Now I just want to tone and get rid of the last 10lbs and look amazing too. I feel like i owe it to myself.

05-08-2012, 12:28 PM
It sounds like maybe she wasn't eating correctly if she was feeling so lousy.

My goal is to get to the 130's (I'm 5'6"). I also want to be muscular, not skinny. I want to be fit, not skinny. Healthy! Not just "skinny". I want to be in great shape! If I get into the 140s and am happy then I will not try to lose just to lose. Right now it's just a number for goal's sake, but I know what I want to look like, when I get there the number on the scale won't matter.

05-08-2012, 12:34 PM
Hm I think that one thing that matters is how you get there. I know some people who lost weight and gained back some and said that the old weight was too skinny for them but they also got there in an unhealthy way. I am glad that they are happy now, but I also wonder if things would have been different if they reached their goal in a different way.

I also think, what is "looks good"? To some people I might look good at a weight that I can only achieve through eating too little or eating to an excess. I try to feel better my reminding myself that personal aesthetic doesn't always correlate with someone's health. I have my personal standard of what looks good on me - and a big motivator is my health, but it is also personal vanity. I think that I can be healthy at a weight range, but the specific weight that I want to reach is one where I can wear my old jean size, have a flat stomach and a perkier bum. I will probably end up losing fat in the bust and bum area, but I am OK with that. This might mean that to some people, I don't look so good, but then again, I have to accept that I won't look universally good-so I just maintain the weight goals that I have and stick with it. Haha confession time too-the number does matter to me, along with inches, feels like a mini trophy!

It really depends but no matter what-even if you want to get down more, you have to get down to that normal weight range first to get there, and I've seen goal weight posts where people lose weight and realize that that they want to lose some more and do it!

05-08-2012, 12:35 PM
Stop where you feel comfortable. You and your sister may have larger frames that might make it difficult to get down into the healthy BMI.

That said, I got down to 115 and I didn't really sacrifice all that much. I still eat out every weekend, still enjoy myself, etc. I eat whatever I want and just make sure to stay accountable. My goal was 140, but I found that I could get down to 115 without sacrificing so here I am.

I don't view myself as skinny. I am physically fit. Lifting weights and other exercises helped me get down to 115 and being this weight has helped me achieve many fitness goals.

05-08-2012, 12:35 PM
i set my goal for 170, but i will stop when i am happy with my body, whether thats at 200 or 140. the number is just there because its right in the middle of what i think i want

05-08-2012, 12:37 PM
My goal is to be happy with the number on the scale and what I see in the mirror, together in unison lol.

I think anything between 120 and 145 for me is good, and well, I need to look good in a bikini at least once in my life, so that's a major deal breaker lol

05-08-2012, 12:43 PM
I could NEVER eat anything sweet or had to excessively control what I eat for the rest of my life. I want to get healthy, enjoyable life style,

I really think this is a key point to losing weight successfully for the long haul. I'm sure some people will disagree, but I never deprive myself of something I really want. I have substantially less of it instead.

For example, let's talk ice cream. I used to have a lot of ice cream every night - probably half of one of those cartons. Not the low fat kind either, the full out cookie crazy ingredients kind. Now I still have ice cream about every day - but a 150 calorie ice cream sandwich and that's all. I stop there.

That's not to say there isn't deprivation involved in losing weight, it's really just AMOUNT deprivation instead instead of food avoidance.

My opinion~


05-08-2012, 12:45 PM
My ultimate goal is 155, and I'd love to get there. However, I would also be happy at 170, which is what I weighed when I got married. I was still considered overweight, but I was happy at that size and felt like I looked good.
Really though, I just want to be somewhat happy with the way I look. And I want to be able to go into pretty much any store and know I'll be able to fit the clothes there, and never have to shop in the plus size stores again!
ETA: I need to have things in moderation as well - I have a cheat day every week where I eat whatever I feel like eating. Maybe it's slowed my weight loss down some, but I don't care. I need that day, and I feel like it's going to help me stay on track in the long run.

05-08-2012, 12:47 PM
I don't think being slim means that you can't eat anything sweet ever again. It just means that you have to be make up for it and keep active. Personally, I want to be slim. I want to be between 120 and 130 but no higher than that. But that goal could change as I get lower, I know my body composition has already changed so it's entirely possible that I'd even be happy at 140. Unlikely but possible.

05-08-2012, 12:50 PM
I don't think being slim means that you can't eat anything sweet ever again. It just means that you have to be make up for it and keep active. Personally, I want to be slim. I want to be between 120 and 130 but no higher than that. But that goal could change as I get lower, I know my body composition has already changed so it's entirely possible that I'd even be happy at 140. Unlikely but possible.

Yup, I know plenty of slim, fit people who eat sweets. Personally, those and bread are a major binge trigger for me - time and time again, and I feel a lot better emotionally and physically when I dropped them (for the most part)
We all have our unique food history which affects (at least I think) our relationship with food, as long as we get some nutrition regularly - whatever sweets we have or don't is fine. :)

05-08-2012, 12:54 PM
I want to be slim, but healthy. I bounced around between the 160s, 170s and 180s through my teens and early twenties. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. Something clicked with me last spring after my second baby was born and through diet and regular exercise/running I was down to 132 by mid-summer. I felt really fit and happy. Sadly, I totally threw my diet away when my husband returned from deployment and have regained some. I'm back on the bandwagon and hope to reach and maintain 130. I know that it will take some effort and this has to be a change in lifestyle. I'll never be able to eat anything and everything I want without watching portions, and that's just a sad reality that I have to accept. :)

05-08-2012, 01:04 PM
On the other hand, and I'll be honest here, I don't want to lose weight to a point where I could NEVER eat anything sweet or had to excessively control what I eat for the rest of my life.

I'm 55 years old and, after losing 55 pounds last year, weigh less now than I ever did beyond my teens. I didn't plan to go this low, but kept losing in the course of figuring out my maintenance calories, so here I am. While on paper my weight may seem very low for my height, I don't look scrawny and feel GREAT in my new wardrobe. I admit I get a kick out of being able to wear body-hugging clothes, brightly coloured skinny jeans (which I call my midlife crisis jeans) and bikinis at age 55.

Like you, I would not deem it worthwhile to maintain a low weight if it meant never indulging. I can tell you this has NOT been the case for me. Just today I've had some scrambled eggs with full-fat cheese, three pieces of buttered toast and a couple of tablespoons of Nutella, and it's not even noon yet. As long as my calories average out to about 2,000 per day and I exercise 3 hours a week, I seem to be able to maintain my weight without undue struggle. Of course I would love to have my cake and eat it too (i.e., weigh 140 pounds and eat 4,000 calories per day), but since that's not a possibility I'm quite happy with the current trade-off.


05-08-2012, 01:05 PM
After having a child I found that I was really comfortable at 120. I would love to be 115, but it's not a necessity. I got down to 112 one time in my life and I ran 3-4 miles and lifted for close to an hour everyday, and I probably averaged 500 calories a day.

If I could get down without doing all of that, I'd put my ultimate goal around 110.

05-08-2012, 01:23 PM
I have a mental block on setting a truly "slim" goal weight. At 145, I'll have a normal BMI, but I have some deep suspicions (from the size of my wrists) that I actually have a teeny tiny frame - none of this "oh, you're big-boned" business. Even 125 might actually be an appropriate thin weight on my body. But 145 feels like I'm grasping at the stars as it is, and I can't mentally get OK with thinking lower.

I figure there's a long ways to go before the 140s appear (I'm a slow loser.... and I probably also doubt that I will actually see that 4 on the scale, to be honest). So I'm worrying more about getting there for now -- there will be plenty of time later for more self-examination and re-evaluation. But in the back of my mind, I'm aware I have some issues re: goal weight to deal with.

05-08-2012, 03:57 PM
I picked my goal weight because I thought I was 5'8 at the time and I picked the threshold normal weight figure for my weight which I thought was impossible anyway. Once i got to the 180s, i thought i might shoot for 150. And now I'm in the 150s, I want 140 with my goal being to maintain between 143 and 148. I think as you approach your target, you sometimes begin to reevaluate your goals once you know you can truly do it!

05-08-2012, 06:06 PM
I never had a goal weight until I joined this site. Up until that point, I just lost, and weighted myself occasionally, pretty much going by clothing sizes and how I felt.

When I came here in November, I decided to set a weight of 175, mainly because that would have been 1/2 my total body weight loss. I declared goal at 182 because I loved the way my body looked, and I felt amazing. At that point I decided to work solely on fitness and toning. I eat healthy, work out....but I have lost a few pounds since deciding to stop focusing on weightloss. I'm pretty much letting my body go and do what it wants, while staying healthy, and if it wants to go lower it will.

Just let your body lose until you feel comfortable. Even if that tec. puts you in the overweight category. Oh and don't worry about sacrificing food xD. I still eat icecream, chocolate, well pretty much anything with sugar...As long as you stick to the calories your body needs, treats won't harm you.

05-08-2012, 06:25 PM
I don't really know or care. In fact I work very hard at making sure that I don't care, because in the past I would always get hung up on and onbsessive about my goal, whatever it was. I'd get really upset and frustrated when I felt like my goal wasn't acheivable. And when I felt that my goal wasn't acheivable I would usually give up because I felt the situation was hopeless.

Now I realize that the goal is the least important aspect of my journey. My goal doesn't even have to be "set" I can decide when I reach it - and I can change my mind (up or down) at any time. If I decide tomorrow that I'm sick of losing weight, I can decide that 289 lbs IS my goal. And maybe that will last a week or three years and when I'm ready to lose more, I can work at losing more.

In that sense, I don't have a goal, I have two hundred of them, because every pound might be my last. And when I think "I can't lose anymore, I'll never reach goal," I tell myself "so what? Even if I never reach my ultimate destination, I want to always be facing - and ideally moving - in the right direction. If I take a break, I need to be standing still, not moving backwards."

And if I meet my goal of 150 lbs (currently my hope) and I decide I want to lose more - I'll work to lose more.... and if I decide that 150 is too difficult to maintain and live the kind of lifestyle I want to live, then I'll decide what weight is manageable and I'll let myself gain until I reach that weight.

I GET to decide and I get to change my mind - once, twice, or ten thousand times - I'm just going to make sure that it's my conscious choice, and not what I end up with because I stopped making conscious choices and let my autopilot take over.

Giving up autopilot is the only decision I have to stick with.