Weight Loss Support - Mom's Making Me Nervous....
05-07-2012, 01:38 PM
I love my mother. She is and has always been great (along with my Dad). We live about 18 hours from each other so we only see each other 2-3 times a year. I remember when I started on my weight loss journey a year ago, my mother looked at me and said in the sweetest voice ever...."you'll get there baby." I held on to that during the times I wanted to head for the Pizza (not a slice, half the pie). She has been positive, encouraging, supportive and cried over my Easter pictures.
Anyhoo, I am leaving to see her in 13 days (YEAH!!!!!!). However, she's told everyone at church that I've lost all of this weight and how fabulous I look. I have gone from a 24W to a regular 12-14 since the last time they've seen me. However, I am not "small" by any means. I still have bumps and rolls, etc. I am just so scared that I'll get to church and disappoint everyone because my Mom makes it sound like I'm a size 2. She's always done this. Because she's my Mom, she magnifies my every accomplishment by like 2 million. AND I'M NOT YOUNG.... I have 3 children and am approaching 40.
I'm just so nervous that I'll disappoint everyone because of my mother's "generous" advertising. :) I grew up with these people, my dad is an elder at the church. They know me and have watched me grow from grade school to grad school to motherhood. I keep having this thought that everyone will look at me and start thinking "Is that it?" They have always been loving and kind- even when I was close to 300 pounds. However, I am still nervous....Just needed to vent.
05-07-2012, 01:48 PM
My sister told everyone I lost a "ton of weight" when I first lost. It was a lot of pressure.
Its great that your mother is supportive, maybe you can tell her that its something that you want to keep "between you two." She might not understand, esp because she is doing it to be supportive, but maybe try and let her know that weight loss is something that you want to share/discuss with her, but not necessarily with other people.
05-07-2012, 01:49 PM
Wow my mom's the total opposite, she would tell my family members that I see once a year that I gained a lot of weight, that way when they see me they're not as shocked by the weight gain (though last year I lost weight from when I saw them last). But my mom has issues with her perception of what fat is (she's 125lbs and feels fat. She put me on a diet as a kid even though I wasn't fat, but for fear of becoming fat..which later I did become).
You lost a bunch of weight, and it shows. Don't worry, everyone will say you look great because you do! They will see a big difference between what you looked like and now. Don't be nervous and just have fun :) You're beautiful! Own it :)
05-07-2012, 01:53 PM
I am sure that you look fantastic and people will be thrilled for you.
I'm glad your mom is so supportive! Mine is too! I'm seeing mine on Saturday for the first time since Xmas 2009! I know she's going to tell me I look great (even though I be in sweats having flown the red eye after working all day Friday), but I'm so looking forward to that!
05-07-2012, 01:53 PM
I would think that the people in your church will be so shocked and happy for the weight you have lost that they won't be thinking about the fact that you aren't a size 2. It won't matter that you're not super small in pants size, you're small compared to the size you used to be and that's what people will focus on. I wouldn't worry about it. if they know your mom well they probably know she exaggerates and I doubt anyone has any expectations you won't live up to already :)
05-07-2012, 01:56 PM
I agree with pixelllate! Also you've lost loads of weight, so enjoy it and well done.
05-07-2012, 02:44 PM
Okay, so you have 3 kids - imagine that one of them had the same weight struggles as you, and started the journey to get healthy...like you...and lost the same weight as you...would you be let down? Of course not! You'd be ecstatic that your child was taking the steps need to get healthy!
That's the great thing about great moms - they are equally as happy when our success is small as they are when our success is huge. :)
You are doing wonderfully and you should BASK in how far you've come. ENJOY it and do not feel, for one second, that you're not "doing enough."
And BTW...40 is not old! :D
05-07-2012, 02:46 PM
Most people in my experience don't really have that attitude. They're usually generally impressed that you lost the weight. If there are folks that somehow think that, screw them, they're not supportive of you anyway.
05-07-2012, 02:56 PM
I really believe you're going to be welcomed very warmly and people will be happy for your success. You have lost a major amount of weight and should stay positive and happy with your accomplishment to date. That being said, there's nothing like a pair of SPANKS to make you feel extra confident!!!!! They just smooth everything out and take care of those lumps or bumps I know so well. ;)
05-07-2012, 04:21 PM
I think we are far more critical of ourselves (especially as we get to see ourselves naked!). ;) But once clothed, I bet a lot of your 'lumps and bumps' are invisible to the casual eye. I think all those people are going to be CHEERING for you and the fantastic success you've had!! You probably don't remember exactly how big you were, but that's all they remember. So they're going to be very pleasantly surprised!! Enjoy!
:cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2:
05-07-2012, 04:52 PM
I'm sure you look fantastic - and you've done SO well! Enjoy visiting with your friends and family and accept your success with a smile! :)
05-07-2012, 04:52 PM
My mom pretends like she doesn't notice whether I get bigger or smaller. Once my entire extended family was raving about how I look like I'd lost a lot of weight, and my mom asked me later "everyone says you've lost weight, is it true?" you would think, as my mother, she would notice before anyone else. But at least she's not like some of these mothers, and constantly pointing out any weight gain she notices.
I think we always have trouble seeing our own progress, and the differences we do see, we don't think are big enough for other people to notice. But 24-12 is NOTICEABLE! And you have done an amazing job. Enjoy the compliments you will definitely get, and stay on plan while you're there! :hug:
05-07-2012, 07:33 PM
Please stop worrying! You are going to knock them over! Period. That's all there is to it! While it IS all relative, a size 12 is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm a 12 (once in a while I get lucky and a 10 fits) and people always think I wear smaller. No one ever believes how much I weigh, either. Go and visit and enjoy every minute of it. You're going to be smiling the whole time because these are people who love you and are happy for you and who don't have any "progress pictures" of you in their mind. To them, you went from size 24W to size 12 in one quick instant! Love it! I can't wait to hear what you have to say when you return.
Edited to say: You can ask your mom to keep things under her hat, but as a mom who is very proud of you, she'll probably find that impossible to do. I'm not even your mom and I'm proud of what you've done! I talk about the collective weight loss in here all the time. It's in our nature to praise the good things we see people around us do.
05-07-2012, 07:51 PM
I'm a size 12 too and everyone thinks I'm "small." As everyone has said, you have nothing to worry about! There is no way these people will be disappointed. Congrats to you for doing so well and for having such a sweet, supportive mom.
05-07-2012, 08:21 PM
You went from a size 24 to a size 12!!! That's amazing and your mom was right to brag on you! I'm sure everyone will be happy for you and think you look awesome.
05-07-2012, 08:40 PM
Your mom seems to be such a kind, supportive and encouraging person. I think she's just proud of your how much you've managed to lose. In my opinion, going from 24 to 12 is an amazing progress and it's surely noticeable. I don't think you'll be disappointing anyone, they'll all admire your new figure :D
05-07-2012, 08:43 PM
Your mom seems awesome and has every right to brag about you :)
Going from a 24 to a 12 is amazing and you WILL look tiny to everyone, trust me! That's a big difference and everyone will be comparing the new you to the "old" you.
05-07-2012, 10:17 PM
I did the same thing, went back to visit where I used to live after losing a significant amount of weight. I also wasn't technically thin yet, but honestly, it was better that people had been warned:) You've watched yourself shrink over months - these people will suddenly be confronted with a very different version of you, and will be surprised!
Go home and try to enjoy the compliments.