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Old 05-06-2012, 08:33 PM   #1  
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Unhappy Anyone's S.O. working graveyard shifts?

He's been doing it since before we got married last year. It's really hard. I feel like we miss out on a lot of bonding time sleeping together at night brings, especially we didn't routinely sleep together before we got married. Plus our sex life has been almost nonexistent as a result. We are both too exhausted in the "window" of time to even try, one is either just waking up or the other is getting home from a long exhausting day.

I work every third weekend, but my husband sleeps all day even if I'm off so it's very frustrating. He makes an effort every once in awhile, but it's annoying to sit around all day being quiet and being exiled from our bedroom!!!!
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Old 05-06-2012, 08:37 PM   #2  
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Yup, try doing it with kids who won't be quiet so he can sleep! My husband works rotating shifts--two weeks of days (12 hour shifts) then two weeks of nights. He's on nights right now, and he worked all weekend. It's been a rough weekend here with trying to keep the kids quiet.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:23 AM   #3  
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Not me but my sis. Her husband is a cop. It's very frustrating for the entire extended family for all the reasons listed above.

Did you know that graveyard shift married couples have one of the highest rates of divorce?

Keep that in mind and get creative to some how achieve what you personally need to be happily married.

Also keep in mind that hopefully, that's your only problem. Most marriages have big obstacles to overcome throughout life. It comes with the territory.

So, all I can really say is good luck and hang in there. I second SJK's opinion that it gets even harder with kids. My sis feels over burdoned handling her son while juggiling her job AND her husband's absense due to his job and sleeping schedule. As a mom, in our culture, the kid is also her job. While he's a great dad when he can be, she fights the urge to be resentful when he can't be. But that's what she signed up for. Her husband was fine not having kids and she pushed for it. She should have been careful what she wished for. She's been overwhelmed for 10 years.

The good thing is, once they're ten years old, they're way more independent and life does get easier.

Best wishes to you. It's tough. I hope you find a way to be tougher for your love. In the end, it just might be totally worth all the extra hard work.
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Old 05-07-2012, 11:53 AM   #4  
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When I was married I worked M-Th 7:30am-7:30pm, F 7:30-12:00pm, then my husband alternated with me working F 1:00pm-11pm, and Sa/Su 8am-11pm.

It was tough and probably one of the biggest reasons why we couldn't work out our marriage. It was awesome for childcare, but we never saw each other!
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:15 PM   #5  
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My husband works nights also. It sucks but he works very hard and I appreciate all he does.

I just miss him a lot because he is either at work or asleep. But I don't hold it against him. He is doing it for us.

I get really lonely though as I am kind of new to the country and have no friends so I am stuck at home a lot. But he does all he can to get me out and do as much as possible, even when he has only had 2 hours sleep.
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Old 05-10-2012, 10:57 PM   #6  
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My boyfriend works the night shift at Disneyland. It is very exhausting for him. Especially because his job requires a ton of lifting, physical activity, etc. We don't live together and I feel like I hardly ever see him. We have been incorporating a ton of breakfast dates when we can just to get time in to see each other! I can not wait until he starts working more day shifts!
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:12 AM   #7  
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My dad works 4 days and 4 nights. I don't remember it being that difficult growing up, especially when he was on a week of nights, but I was a quiet kid. My mom didn't seem to mind it either; she got a break from him (lol). I could see how it would be hard, though, especially as a newlywed. I feel for ya!
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