Weight Loss Support - Tantrum




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fatbottomed girl
05-03-2012, 09:52 AM
This first week of calorie counting is really kicking my ***. Then again, I went from probably 3K calories per day all the way down to around 1400. Worst part: I set my upper caloric limit at 1,700-- I just haven’t been hitting it for some stupid reason. And yesterday I topped out at 1290, which seemed like a good idea at the time, except now I’d willingly eat the contents of a garbage can if I didn’t think anyone was watching.

I’m so tired of being fat though. Last night I came across an old picture I took at the beginning of one of my many diets. When I first saw it I thought, “wow, I was HUGE in that photo… what the heck did I weigh?!”. So I found the log to go with it (I guess I save these things to torture myself with later on) and discovered I was 215 pounds when the picture was taken. That’s 14 pounds less than I weighed at the beginning of this week!

I’m just sick of spinning my wheels when it comes to this subject. I wish I could take back the countless hours I’ve spent worrying & berating myself & feeling like people are judging me based on physical appearance. I try not to let it stop me from going out there and living a meaningful life… and it hasn’t really, but that doesn’t mean I don’t obsess over it on a daily basis.

But my other options are… what? Starving all the time? Feeling like a miserable out-of-sorts shrew? Or a basket case? Or like I’ll never look in the mirror and like what I see ever again? It’s just so effing hard… I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Sometimes I feel like David taking on Goliath: it just seems impossible. :(


lm3898
05-03-2012, 10:14 AM
I think you need to find a happy medium - you don't have to be the weight you are at and you don't need to starve yourself.

Something that might help is PRE-PLANNING your daily meals so you are at a higher no. than your current 1290 - that way you know what you are going to be eating in advance and you can make sure you wont starve or eat 3k cals. I think going from 3k to 1700 is a huge difference and you will see results but if you suddenly drop from 3k to 1200 it's going to be too low at first. You just have to find your happy medium in this - don't give up!

linJber
05-03-2012, 10:19 AM
But David conquered Goliath! You just made the perfect analogy without realizing it. You said it SEEMS impossible. Not that it IS impossible. You can do this. Just one day at a time.

Lin


alitorry
05-03-2012, 10:42 AM
Its hard, I know you're just starting. Like previous poster said, find your happy medium. take it day by day and before you know it, you'll see something on the scale to motivate you, I promise :) you can do it!

pixelllate
05-03-2012, 11:05 AM
Ugh I know what you mean! I just tell myself that misery burns no cals and weight loss will take a looong looong time and maintenance is forever, so I will try to feel as calm as possible, and steady myself if I feel too terrible. I tell myself I can do all the physical things to lose the weight, and I will, but I can either do it really unhappy and scared or I can do it calmer and feeling at least OK on most days. I would love to feel estatic but that requires a lot of Nutella.

fatbottomed girl
05-03-2012, 11:26 AM
lm3898 – Thanks for the advice. You’re absolutely right in that I need to strike a balance. And planning out my calories in advance would be much better than the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach I’ve taken so far.

linJber – I made sure to put the seems impossible. I’m certain if I put my mind to it I can do it, it’s just the process that sucks. It’s like staring at a rubix cube and knowing the solution is in there somewhere-- you just can’t see it at that moment.

alitorry – Thanks for the encouragement, I needed it!

pixelllate – You’re absolutely right, I need to calm myself down instead of working myself up. I always was my own worst enemy. Nutella… yum!

cbressler1976
05-03-2012, 11:29 AM
I know how you feel!! I am a month into this and I feel like I am never going to get anywhere...

debigulating
05-03-2012, 11:32 AM
Your post reminds me of that quote, "come tomorrow, you will wish you had started today." I know how you feel - you beat yourself up for not getting on with it, but then it's not like it's that easy. I've been at this for about 6 weeks now and am only NOW feeling "in the groove." I was really flailing around there for a while, eating well for half the day then throwing it out the window at night. It can take time to get your mind in the game but keep trying! It will happen.

DezziePS
05-03-2012, 11:39 AM
Ugh I really identify, too. I keep doing this to myself. I start to watch what I'm eating and do what I know I need to do, I lose some weight, it's not too hard to stay generally on plan and I think, "Why haven't I been doing this all along??" Then, I start to feel pretty good. I get into a smaller size, I start feeling a lot more confident. And...I backslide. I think: "I'll just have a couple glasses of wine- I don't want to restrict myself too much, that's not reasonable. I don't want to live a life where I can never have wine. I've done so well, I can have one really bad day where I eat half a cake, and it won't probably even make me gain a pound. I mean, really, I can probably have a really bad week where I eat out every night and order the fattiest thing on the menu and it won't make me gain more than a COUPLE of pounds..."And then I put it all back on and it just seems like a nightmare to take it off again.

A couple weeks ago I was going through my "feeling pretty good about myself" phase and had put on this outfit that I thought was really cute when I looked at myself in the mirror at home. I was walking by a building later that day and I saw myself in the window and I looked...horrible. I told my husband, "You know, I think I look pretty good, because I do look a lot better than when I was 240, but I'm still a 210 lb woman!"

I've got to stick with it this time. Slow and steady, you guys! Just got to keep on plugging away.

Munchy
05-03-2012, 12:31 PM
And planning out my calories in advance would be much better than the flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach Iíve taken so far.

Yep. I've been planning my food for almost five years and I still don't understand how people can just eat whatever whenever with no plan and stay both satisfied and within a healthy calorie range.

When I started I would plan out to a T what I was going to eat the following day: Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack.

Now it's more flexible (usually breakfast, dinner and my last snack aren't planned) but I do keep them within the same calorie range everyday because I have homemade freezer meals for dinner and a mental database of quick dinners that I like, easy and fast on-the-go breakfasts, and go-to snacks that work for me. They all stay in the same calorie range, ie breakfast will almost always be 175-250 calories, lunch is 100-175 calories, dinner is 300-400 calories, etc.

freelancemomma
05-03-2012, 12:49 PM
But my other options are… what? Starving all the time? Feeling like a miserable out-of-sorts shrew? Or a basket case? Or like I’ll never look in the mirror and like what I see ever again? It’s just so effing hard… I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.:(

I don't blame you for hating it. On some level I think we all do, at least some of the time. But you definitely don't need to starve yourself, and in fact I'd strongly advise against it. If I had to starve myself to lose 55 pounds last year and maintain the loss, I would willingly choose staying fat.

I suggest you pick a reasonable caloric target, perhaps 1,600 calories per day, and build some indulgences into your regimen. The idea is to minimize the sense of deprivation. As the saying goes, "the best plan is the one you can follow." Same goes for exercise. Countless articles tell me I should be doing weight training, but right now jogging and brisk walking are what work for me, so that's what I'm doing.

I know you can do this and I'm confident it won't be torture!

F.

p.s. I'm also a big Nutella fan -- one of those people who can eat a 400 g container in one sitting. I NEVER thought I'd be able to say this, but I'm now able to keep a big jar of it in a kitchen cupboard without obsessing about it or dipping into it (except when it's part of a meal). I keep it because my kids like it on toast in the morning.

freelancemomma
05-03-2012, 12:54 PM
I still don't understand how people can just eat whatever whenever with no plan and stay both satisfied and within a healthy calorie range.

Some people just don't like food as much as we do.

<<They all stay in the same calorie range, ie breakfast will almost always be 175-250 calories, lunch is 100-175 calories, dinner is 300-400 calories, etc.>>

This seems extremely low. I hope you're supplementing with snacks.

F.

fyreflie24
05-03-2012, 12:55 PM
You've received some awesome advice! Someone here has a great line in their ticker, "I can't lose 100 lbs but I can lose 10 lbs, 10 times". I broke my weight loss into 5 lb increments and it really helped, especially in those early days when it was all ahead of me! Soon, I as at 25%, then 50%.. now past 75%. And focusing on other healthy habits (mine are yoga, harp and cycling) help me not obsess quite so much about my weight and food all the time. Good luck! You will get there. The head game is as much a part of this as the food and exercise!

NEMom
05-03-2012, 01:00 PM
I spent countless years of my life hating how fat I was. Starting and failing at countless crazy diets. This time I knew it was not a diet but a lifestyle change and it is hard. It took a long time and I still screw up on a daily basis and I personally need to get back onto my food plan.
Below is a post that really inspired me, I printed it out and have it taped where I can easily read it. When I am having a bad day, week, whatever, I read it over and it motivates me. I did not write it but I hope that it helps you.
One Year From Now
One thing I can absolutely promise you without a doubt, is that time will pass. 24 hours from now will be tomorrow. 7 days will be a week later. 365 days from now, a year will have past. This part is certain. What isn't certain is what your life will be like then. The next year will pass in its own time the same way the past year has gone by. The question is - what do you want to be doing/feeling one year from now?

You can decide that the amount you have to lose is too daunting and will never happen and give up. That is a choice that you can make. Think about the consequences of that. Your life will be much like it is right now. You will probably be having the same emotional feelings about your weight and your past year will be filled with happy moments and sad ones just like this previous year.

Or, you can decide right now that you want to start today and make one healthy choice after another. Each choice gives your body nutrients it needs to build healthier organ functions and strong muscles. Even before you see results on the scale, you will feel better because your body is functioning better. I can't promise you that you'll be at goal weight or that you will have even lost a lot of weight, but I can promise that if you spend the next year making healthy choices you will feel better than you do today and will be well on your way to getting to goal. You will have learned what works for you and what doesn't and you will have tackled some of the emotional issues that keep us overweight. This journey is about more than losing weight. It's about self-discovery. That isn't something you can "gain back." I can't promise that your year will be void of sadness and nothing but pure elation. It won't be. I would predict that you'll find that when you learn to deal with the ups and downs of life in non-food and self-destructive ways, you will handle them better and your self-esteem will skyrocket.

So, the next year will pass regardless of what choice you make. The question is do you want to look back and thank yourself for starting today and allowing yourself to feel better and be healthier or do you want to look back and wish you had started?

You can do this! Break it into smaller goals, but think of your progress as a long term journey.

Munchy
05-03-2012, 01:09 PM
Some people just don't like food as much as we do.

I'm sorry, I should have specified those who are trying to lose weight.


<<They all stay in the same calorie range, ie breakfast will almost always be 175-250 calories, lunch is 100-175 calories, dinner is 300-400 calories, etc.>>

This seems extremely low. I hope you're supplementing with snacks.

Yep, my snacks are sometimes higher in calories than my meals, and I eat them daily. 3 meals, 3 snacks. I try to balance it out - If I pick a low calorie soup from my freezer for lunch, I usually have a higher calorie dinner. I'm super, super short so my calorie range is 1000-1200.

Iyakamae
05-03-2012, 01:58 PM
Being miserable while trying to make this big of a life change is never a good thing. Off the bat you're setting yourself up for failure.

There is a lot of great advice here. I would personally recommend a gradual decline, if you're not a cold turkey kinda person, trying to eliminate calories from your body that it's so used to getting could result you making some really bad meal decision (been there). It's a really good idea to plan a head too, I'm pretty good around the kitchen and have young kids, so where I often plan to plan my meals, that gets thrown out the window for creativity. So what I do instead is read every label on ever package of food, use things like calorie counter/myfitnesspal to determine average calorie counts per portion and go from there. I've also introduced a lot of fruit and vegetables into the house and make sure that I am getting my full serving of those when I can and i've found that my saving grace has been herbs and spices. The more the better.

I know this seems tough right now, but imagine where you'll be if you give yourself time. You'll be so proud of yourself and no one will ever be able to take that away from you.

Good luck and I hope that we continue to hear of your progress.

redbird92
05-03-2012, 02:47 PM
NEMom-I LOVE LOVE LOVE that post! It's so true and very eloquently stated!

One thing I try to do when I'm having a rough day and some motivation is to close my eyes and try to *really visualize* all of the benefits of losing weight...how i will look and feel, all the new cute clothes, the health benefits, etc. It's kind of like meditating...it calms me down and refocuses my negativity into something positive.

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar091/flower01/lb/173/138/165.8/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

cbigsis
05-03-2012, 03:38 PM
I did a lot of what Iyakamae said. In the beginning I knew I would not stick with a complete overhaul of my diet. So I slowly changed things. Giving up things I didn't care about as much at first of course. That way every time I hit a plateau I would also have more changes I could make without feeling like I was starving. It was still hard but much more doable for me. And not so hard when I looked back on it. And also the herbs and spices helped so much. As my meals got smaller using more flavor made them more satisfying to replace the higher fat and carb levels I used to eat.

pixelllate
05-03-2012, 04:16 PM
I did a lot of what Iyakamae said. In the beginning I knew I would not stick with a complete overhaul of my diet. So I slowly changed things. Giving up things I didn't care about as much at first of course. That way every time I hit a plateau I would also have more changes I could make without feeling like I was starving. It was still hard but much more doable for me. And not so hard when I looked back on it. And also the herbs and spices helped so much. As my meals got smaller using more flavor made them more satisfying to replace the higher fat and carb levels I used to eat.

You know what is funny? I thought I was doing it all cold turkey diet, but when I would make dietary changes, I realized that I could get healthier, have fewer cals etc more...and more....so in a way I did ease into my weight loss methods unconsciously. Just try an inch past your limits I guess!

JohnP
05-03-2012, 06:42 PM
The kinds of foods you eat can make a big difference to how hungry you feel.

Generally speaking - high protein, moderate fat, and low carb tends to be the most bang for the buck.