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DezziePS
05-03-2012, 09:06 AM
I was just reading through some posts about people and their serious issues with food: extreme pickiness/overeating/binging/disordered eating, etc. I'd guess a lot of us on here have emotional/psychological problems with food to some degree (I know I do!). So, here's the question: do you feel like your parents' attitudes toward food shaped your food issues? If so, what was it you think they did/didn't do that made things like that? Not to blame parents, I am an adult and I take responsibility for my life and weight, but I do think childhood can shape early impressions and attitudes of things and that can be hard to shake. Maybe by talking about them here, we can heal. :hug:

I'll start: When I was 11, I was going through puberty and had pudged out a little (not to a huge size, but I had gone from stick-skinny to a little bigger). One day I kept catching my mom writing something down, and I finally got her to admit to me that my dad thought I had gotten too fat because I was eating too much junk food and had asked her to write down everything I ate so he could monitor my diet. First, he shouldn't have done this. Second, she should NOT have told me.

I also remember my dad saying things at dinner when my brother and I didn't finish our plates, like, "That chicken died for you, and now you're not even going to eat it. What a waste." That did not help anything!!

I had developed a mild eating disorder by the end of jr. high (not eating at all during the day, eating very little at night) and when I asked my mom why she never did anything about it a few years later, she told me that it was because I could have stood to lose some weight (When I started deciding to lose weight, I was 5'7" and 140 lbs).


tavvy
05-03-2012, 09:52 AM
This is a great idea, here is my story:

Throughout my childhood food was a cure all. Anytime I was upset, angry, or being rewarded pizza and ice cream were shoved into my hands. I quickly learned that it is better to eat your emotions than shamefully express them through crying.

My mother never, never, never (and still doesn't) bought fresh food. All veggies are canned, not even frozen veggies were in the house. Fruit could only rarely be found and only in the form of fruit cups. We did have fresh meat. All lunches were either cheap cold cuts with Kraft singles on white bread, chef boyardee, or lunchables. Snacks were chewy fruit snacks, chips, little Debbie cakes or various other processed junk. We never drank water, only soda and KoolAid.

Despite this terrible diet, I was a normal weight until the age of 8. Slowly I got bigger and bigger. The doctors told my mother that I needed to be supervised when eating...all the supervision in the world couldn't make up for the processed food. I played outside at any chance I had, I loved it! We had a pool and I was almost always swimming in the summer. Still the doctors said I needed an exercise plan at the age of 9.

At 12, doctors decided I had PCOS based on nothing more than heavy periods (though they were regular) and slightly elevated blood glucose. My mom, not one to argue with a doctor, allowed me to start glucophage. Still I gained weight. At 16 they did an ultra sound to check for cysts. I had beautiful, healthy ovaries no fibroids, no cysts. Still the endocrinologist looked at me and said "you'll probably never be able to conceive". I got bigger and bigger, stopped taking medication and stopped going to the doctor.

Last September, at the age of 22, I was informed that I was healthy as a horse, but my thyroid was slow. The pediatrician and endocrinologist never tested for that...in all those years, I was never tested because no one ever advocated for me.

I had an ultra sound done to quiet my fears and have been assured by two doctors that with a regular period, tracked ovulation, and healthy ovaries, I have nothing to worry about with conception!

My parents poor habits resulted in developing my tastes and behaviors in a great way. I advocate for myself at the doctor, along lots of questions and doing my own research. I see fresh fruit and veggies as daily treats because that is what they were growing up (though not daily in childhood). The only thing I struggle with still is binging when I'm angry or upset.

pixelllate
05-03-2012, 09:59 AM
My father is like that too. I like to call it a Great Depression food attitude. Even now I have trouble not cleaning my plate, past hunger.
Nobody in my family is an emotional eater/binger. I never fit in with them anyways, and living with them was miserable-I couldn't escape, we grew up in a 1 bedroom apt. I would try to find ways to hide-waking up in the wee hours just to have some alone time-usually by the kitchen, binging.
As I grew up, the overeating was my way to escape, a way to find some quiet time away from stress.
I grew up with a lot of conflicting food attitudes. My mother was from a more high class, very "LA" style family so to that side of the fam, I was horribly fat and they never quit reminding me. But everyone also wanted m me to eat-it was like they were in denial that I couldn't scarf down food and lose weight at the same time. Who knows why. Both grandmothers on my side were just so disappointed in my size. Felt not so great because I have a "pretty face" so I felt so mismatched. Looks were and still are very important to them, and me too actually.
I have an older sister who might have her own issues and she always comments on my weight, like I "look anerexic" or whatever...and I was 140 lbs and 5'3''. I have to talk to her about that, and I don't know if that will change anything, but I know for one thing, I won't let it affect what I eat.
I think that I am naturally not a confrontational person, and combined with the environment I grew up in, I just always wanted to please people. It didn't make me more or less popular, the same people who disliked me still disliked me. I am learning to be my own person more, because I don't think its healthy to hate myself if someone is rude or something-maybe its them and not me. We all have our own complicated lives, and I can't even trace the source of all my emotions. Its a slow process.


vixxi
05-03-2012, 10:18 AM
Here's my story:

My father died when I was 5 years old, (20 year anniversary was May 1st!{I'm now 25}) my mother worked fulltime and was busy running around with me and my sister, be it getting us to school on time, picking us up, dropping off, etc, etc. Like an above poster, we were raised on processed food because it was easy and being so busy my mother seldom cooked, although she did her very best.

Mcdonald's, hot pockets at the bus stop in the morning, and any type of pasta dish was pretty common back then because they were quick and easy meals. I was very slim as a little girl but around 10 I started to get chunky. My mother has always had issues surrounding food, and admitted this past weekend on a roadtrip to see my sister, that she can control what she eats, but not her other addictions, drinking and smoking.

She has always been slim, and as my sister and I got older (and bigger) she didn't like the fact that we didn't "match". My mother being blonde, blue eyed, and thin, and her monstrous little chubkin's (lol). I remember her making us follow some beet diet with her, and weighing us, she even offered us each $100 if we lost 20lbs!

Needless to say, I liked food, it made me feel good and I think my mother being so restrictive made me want to eat when I could eat, as in not around her. My sister had even started hiding food under her bed.

I feel as an adult I have a much better outlook on food. I used to have binge issues, which I believe contributed to my weight gain. I think my mother gave me the idea that the less you eat the less you weigh, and for a long time I thought that was true. Now I'm enjoying eating healthy and feel as though my relationship with food is better than ever!

mascara blue
05-03-2012, 10:20 AM
My parents were divorced and i used to spend my weekend at my dad's where he'd tell me i was fat and should go on boiled egg diet. id come home crying and to cheer me up, my mum would take me out for a nice meal/ice cream/burger etc. I always thought of myself as a fat kid and avoided my childhood photos. then when i was moving house, i came across a photo of me when I was 12 and i was definitely not fat. i wasnt thin but I wasnt fat or overweight. Just tall and normal. I felt so sad. Anyway the habit has stayed. Everytime i feel bad, i get the urge to eat and I always see myself as fat even when I lose weight. Youd think being aware of this makes me address it but it doesnt.

pixelllate
05-03-2012, 03:41 PM
My parents were divorced and i used to spend my weekend at my dad's where he'd tell me i was fat and should go on boiled egg diet. id come home crying and to cheer me up, my mum would take me out for a nice meal/ice cream/burger etc. I always thought of myself as a fat kid and avoided my childhood photos. then when i was moving house, i came across a photo of me when I was 12 and i was definitely not fat. i wasnt thin but I wasnt fat or overweight. Just tall and normal. I felt so sad. Anyway the habit has stayed. Everytime i feel bad, i get the urge to eat and I always see myself as fat even when I lose weight. Youd think being aware of this makes me address it but it doesnt.

I know what you mean-I once lost a good amt of weight (my current UGW now) and then I started gaining some, and when that happened my mother pulled me aside and said "I am telling you this because your friends won't but because I am your mother I will tell you the truth. You aren't as pretty anymore because you got fatter." I avoided mirrors and the weight skyrocketed. Tried to tell my sister, but she had her own issues and dismissed me. I want to talk to a therapist just to vocally express my feelings because I blocked those moments out.
What does help is that I tell myself that Yes that was a hard time in my life, and no I should not have been treated that way. Acknowledging that it was something bad that someone did, makes me feel better as I have a tendency to blame myself.
It makes me a lot more intuitive on how people are really feeling, like fake smiles hiding a lot of misery. I was picked on as a kid (non weight related) and now its easier for me to tell more hidden signs. I am not sure if I would have been so good at observing and listening to people if I didn't go through all these things.
EDIT-It doesn't make me feel happy, but it does make me feel a lot less frusterated and miserable. Just like getting picked on in the past-I don't feel great looking back, but I don't feel wretched because I wasn't the one acting out of malice-it spoke more about the person being mean.

Natasha22
05-03-2012, 06:32 PM
Well, my story isn't that special; I got really sick the summer I turned 12, I was in the hospital for a week and lost a couple of pounds (I was already thin at that time). When I finally got better and returned home, my mom was so happy, she started cooking everything I loved, if I wanted ice cream at 10 PM, she would allow it, if I wanted pizza for breakfast, she would be happy to order some. I know she was just glad I was healthy again, but somehow that behavior changed my attitude towards food. Up until then, I was only eating when I was hungry, but afterwards, I actually started to enjoy food a lot more than I should have and eating just for the pleasure of it. I'm still trying to rid myself of that habit.

WildThings
05-03-2012, 06:44 PM
I come from a family (immediate and extended) that celebrates everything with food...we all like to eat, but really, no one brought about my food issues (and I have definite food issues). My mom for the most part was a SAHM, she cooked dinner every night. No packaged food, made everything, even if it was a meat and potato heavy dinner. I actually never even tasted instant potatoes until I was in high school. We ate moderately healthy stuff. The two things that were a bit of an issue, ones that my mom still feels the need to apologize for are until her mid-30s, my mom didn't have a weight issue. She could eat junk and not gain, it never really occurred to her that it was unusual so treats were usually junk. Often homemade junk, but still high sugar/fat/calorie junk. The second thing was in my mom's mid-30s, she developed nearly debilitating migraines, several a month, often lasting for nearly a week that would keep her hidden in dark rooms in agony or the ER. We started relying on a lot of fast food, which once it became a habit, it took me until my late 20's to break.

Wisertime
05-03-2012, 08:17 PM
I remember talking with my mom when I was in my early teens about how I should be eating less but it was hard because I felt like I was always hungry. She replied "Well, that's probably my fault, I always liked chubby babies so I overfed you" Wow, thanks Mom! After that I always wondered if somehow that triggered bad food habits in my life. I have no idea if that's what led to my being overweight but a part of me was really mad at her for that. I'm older now (not mad anymore) and I'm working on reversing those bad habits. It's not easy (as many of you well know) but I'm getting there.

samcakes
05-03-2012, 09:03 PM
my family DEFINITELY had a lot to do with my eating habits, both the healthy and unhealthy parts. the negative stuff i have already posted about, but the positive things they taught me include:

LOVING veggies. my grandma had a veggie garden in her yard when i was growing up and i loved to go pick fresh peas and eat them straight from their pod. i still eat lots of veggies with every meal

NO GREASE! my family cooks their meat with a bit of water in the pan... to steam it i guess. i have picked up on this habit and rarely use any grease or oil

EAT AT HOME! i didnt have my first fast food meal until i turned 14 years old. and then i was allowed to get an arbys deli fresh sandwich. my family never really ate fast food, and although i eat waaay too much, it is very rarely anything other than home made goodies

there are more, but i thought that putting some of the positive things they taught me would be interesting.

Elladorine
05-03-2012, 09:35 PM
Mom taught me to sneak junk food. She'd pick out something special for us to share when we went to the store, and after we'd gotten home and put the groceries away, we'd indulge on whatever the treat was and she'd emphasize that we needed to hide the container/wrapper it came in so Dad wouldn't know about it. And then of course, she'd get angry if she found containers/wrappers hidden in my room because it was wrong and unhealthy to sneak food!

Yeah, that sounds healthy, doesn't it? :lol: I grew up with the impression that indulging on treats was exciting, but since it was also "wrong," it had to be done in secrecy. That caused me a lot of problems growing up, and I imagine it was more responsible for the weight I'd gained as a teenager (and have still never entirely shed) than the steroids that Mom had blamed it on (the steroids were prescribed when I was first diagnosed with asthma).

Whenever I have kids, I hope I can pass my newly-found healthy attitude onto them. :dizzy:

theox
05-04-2012, 12:17 AM
My parents' attitudes and actions shaped my "food issues". They kept a lot of processed crap in the house, sent me to school with Lunchables and those non-juice juice drinks, allowed us to drink soda at lunch and dinner every day, and treated going out to eat as both an indulgence worth a caloric splurge and a normal reward for making to the end of the week. My mom likes bland food and doesn't like cooking, and couldn't be bothered to actually cook balanced, interesting meals - she prepared the same few carb- and fat-heavy, nutrient rich plant material light, boring, near-tasteless dishes every week for years. My dad didn't do anything about it. And there were always desserts on hand - rarely fruit-based, usually cookies, brownies, or ice cream. And, even though my mom's day started later than the rest of ours and she got home hours before the rest of us and we called an hour before we started home, she couldn't usually be bothered to get up off her *** and start preparing dinner so it would be ready or close to ready when we got home - at 7 or 8 at night, usually (we left home around 6:30am). We were pretty damn hungry by that time. In that sort of environment, coupled with the other stuff I had going on, is it any wonder I tried to stock up on as much of the tastiest (and, as it happened, the carbiest and fattiest) foods available to me? They also didn't teach me what appropriate portion sizes were and kept the serving bowls on the table. We were usually allowed to have as much as we wanted.

My parents did a good in a lot of ways, but imparting healthy eating habits was not one of them. I've had to learn most of this stuff on my own (which is relatively easy) and make healthy eating practices a habit (which has been pretty hard). I find it mind-boggling that two well-educated people who were at healthy weights as youths themselves (they've got a middle aged spread thing going on now) didn't recognize that their young child had a weight problem that wasn't going away on its own, that was getting worse over time, and that MAYBE they should take some responsibility for fixing. But no, suddenly I'm in my late teens and over 200 lbs., and I'm getting yelled at for displaying the horrible food habits they instilled in me, not being active enough (they discouraged me from playing sports as a child), and being berated for making poor nutritional decisions because they'd never taught me otherwise or demonstrated what a healthy, balanced diet looks like. My dad asked me what my ideal goal weight was recently, and when I told him, he said (in a voice that indicated doubt and a lack of confidence in me) that I would be...thin at that weight. Yeah Dad, I will be. They gave up on me 20 years ago, and they gave up without a fight. It makes me extremely angry if I think about stuff like this too much.

Pepino
05-04-2012, 01:26 AM
Great thread!

I feel I actually have a good healthy attitude towards food BUT I do have grievances with how my parents fed me as a child.
I feel angry and resentful about it because study after study shows that how you ate in your youth has long term health consequences...even if you completely change as an adult. :( :( :(
But I also feel guilty for feeling resentful because my mom was on her own most of the time working more than full time and she had constant severe migraines. She doesn't like cooking...and chooses to be ignorant about nutrition. So in some ways it wasn't her fault but in some ways it was.

Anyway, we had fast food a few times a week MINIMUM. We ONLY ate processed foods...we RARELY had fruit and vegetables...and when we did have vegetables they were smothered in something unhealthy. For years, I only drank high sugar juice and nothing else as a youth. This wore away my enamel and my front teeth are basically transparent. That really bothers me.

For a snack my mom would BUTTER WHITE CRACKERS!!!! I used to eat that alll the time! Pretty much every unhealthy thing you can think of is what we ate on a regular basis. After every swim lesson my mom would give me a full size snickers bar even as a very young child.

OH AND HERE'S THE KICKER!!!!!! I strongly remember constantly asking for Fruit Loops and Kool-aid at the grocery store. My mom NEVER once bought kool-aid because she said it was "too unhealthy" UM BUT KFC AND MCDONALDS EVERYDAY IS FINE??!?!?!

I'm still shaking my head over that one. I do not know what was going on in her mind.

I just hope I can undo the damage all that sugar and trans-fat did to me. And I will never do the same to my children.

lovemydoggiesx2
05-04-2012, 03:51 AM
This is a great thread. it is nice to see how all of our eating habits have developed over the years, and what started us on this path.

My story is similar in aspects to the others. My Mother and Grandmother to this day still both have eating disorders, so I learned at an early ago what I thought was a ¨normal¨way to eat. My mother is an anorexic binger. She generally eats once a day in the afternoon, and it is usually a handful or patatoe chips or french fries and a beer. Nothing else. She cooked for us everyday growning up a healthy combo of foods but never ate with us, just sat there, still to this day it´s like that. My Grandmother eats once every 2 or 3 days but when she does man oh man is it a binge. She will eat 1 box of cereal with a gallon of milk, or 5 bags of popcorn, or 12 loaded tacos. No joke. My Mother has maintained about 120lbs all my life. My grandma used to be about 175, but these days is more like 160.

I started to be chubby about 6 years old spending the summers with my grandparents. My Dad was so mad and would yell every summer that I wasnt going back, because all they did was feed me and make me fat. I wasnt allowed to have seconds at dinner, and they would always tell me to eat fruit, when others ate junk. I wasnt really allowed to drink water, I know it sounds silly, but with 7 kids, it´s been the same. We could only drink milk or juice and I think the calories hurt too. My mom packed our lunch for school everyday. A normal PB&J, chips, fruit, cookies and juice box. And breakfast on the weekends was always elaborate.

When I was a teen I started binging, and extreme dieting. I finished high school and was 135. By the time I was 20 I was 180 and have yo-yo´d from 180-145 ever since.

Aud007
05-06-2012, 07:32 AM
This post got me thinking and made me realize we had good eating habits at home. My mom didn't like to cook so we'd often have pre-packaged food but she would always serve with a huge bunch of veggies. For dessert, we would have yogurt and stuff and its only in high school, when we saw our friends with cakes and poptarts, etc. that we wanted to include that in our lunches and my parents agreed...not good! ;-)

What I can see now that I didn't see before is the way my father now deals with food. He has a sweet tooth (strong!!) and he feels bad about it so he tries to have others have a super sweet dessert with him (to make him feel less guilty). I am able to say no...my 10 year old son is not, I have to interfere and to ask my father to stop. For my father, a treat has to be sugar, be it candy or cake...so for every occasion, he gets my son chocolate, ice cream, etc. Even though I told him not to...he kept bringing candies, etc. We had a huge discussion and I think he now gets it. I told him that what he brings...I put in garbage :-) He changed candies for books, bike ride, movies and believe me, my son enjoys even more, he gets to spend quality time with his grand-dad!
(please don't get me wrong...my son has his loads of treats - maybe a little more healthy, but it's not associated with success or sadness)

Elladorine
05-10-2012, 06:34 PM
He changed candies for books, bike ride, movies and believe me, my son enjoys even more, he gets to spend quality time with his grand-dad!
That's awesome! :carrot:

This reminded me of a moment from my childhood that still makes me sad; a friend and I were bored and wanted more than anything to be taken to the roller rink (and this was at a time where my parents insisted that I get more exercise). When I asked my mom, she said maybe another time, and when I pointed out that we didn't do enough as a family, my dad snapped at me for arguing. I remember crying, not because I was told no the one time, but for being snapped at when I knew I was told no 99% of the time.

We seriously didn't do enough together as a family besides eating dinner and watching TV. No going to the park, no museums, no theme parks, no vacations, no biking, no walking, and certainly no roller rink unless a friend invited me. I don't think I ever asked to go again after that. :(

Kaala
05-11-2012, 12:51 PM
My parents are divorced and when I was little I spent every other weekend at my biological fathers' house. It was not a good place for a child to be and often there was not enough food available to me. My mother would hide snacks in my bags and I remember not only always having this gnawing hunger but also having to sneak around when I went to eat.

When I was 11 I ended up in the hospital for a month on an IV unable to eat due to surgery for peritonitis. I remember then, too, being hungry in a way I can't describe and fantasizing about food almost constantly.

When I came home from the hospital I was fed and I just ate and ate.

I felt then, and still feel that I am always one word away from the ability to eat being taken from me.

kaplods
05-11-2012, 01:51 PM
In my twenties I thought a lot about what I thought my parents "did wrong" when it came to food/weight issues. And yet of my parents' four children, only I ever had a weight problem in childhood and young adulthood. And none of my siblings' children have a weight problem either.

I'm not sure there's anything my parents could have done to have prevented my obesity. I think they may have been able to help me more effectively, but they had no experience with childhood obesity, so they couldn't really do what they didn't know - especially since they consulted the "experts" who should have known the best way to deal with childhood obesity (though I'm not very confident that's true even today).

What I remember most vividly from childhood is being constantly hungry and being very jealous of my younger brother, because while I was being constantly admonished for eating, my parents were constantly pushing food on my brother (the only person in our family to be underweight as a child).

My brother and I were both adopted (our sisters are our parents' bio-kids, who came along when my brother and I were in junior high).

Because of the pattern, I suspect a strong genetic component. I'm sure that having one overweight child and one underweight child was extremely stressful for my parents, but as a child it felt a lot like my parents loved my brother more than me. Of course, he thought the reverse not only because he was always being nagged to eat when he wasn't hungry, but because I was the "good girl who got all A's" and he got in trouble a lot and didn't do that well in school - today he probably would have been diagnosed ADHD and dyslexic (because his daughter was).

I remember once at a grocery store when I was about 5 and my brother was about 3, a stranger came up to my mother and started screaming at her. Because I was very fat and my brother was underweight, the woman assumed that my mother was overfeeding me and starving my brother. The woman said something to the effect that my mother should stop feeding me and start feeding my brother. I burst into tears because I really thought my mother was going to stop feeding me. I was already was hungry all the time because of the "diets" I was being put on, and the prospect of getting fed even less really scared me.

My mother didn't defend herself, she just walked away - and I could tell she was deeply hurt and ashamed, and it felt like it was all my fault, especially since my mother didn't comfort me and just let me cry, which made me really think she really was going to stop feeding me. To this day, I regret that my mother didn't tell us that that lady was crazy and didn't know what she was talking about.

In terms of the food in the house, it was all reasonably healthy (not always low-calorie, but pretty typical for the times). I remember going to my cousins house and being astonished at the amount of junk food sitting on their fridge top). In our house if there were chips at most two bags would be open (and usually only one), ande there was never more than two or three choices. On my aunt's fridge there were so many bags you couldn't count them and most of them would be open.

In our house, at dinner there was probably too much food (both parents had come from farm families were portions were large because they needed to be), but the food was relatively healthy (probably too much butter sometimes), but there was always a large salad with a vinegar and oil dressing (rarely creamy dressings) and two vegetables (often more because Mom always made so many veggies that we would have leftovers. So we'd get two new veggies and there'd be small dishes of veggies leftover from other meals).

Mom and I were usually "dieting" so we didn't always eat exactly what everyone else was eating. I learned to count food "exchanges" by the time I was 8 years old (and joined Weight Watchers for the first time with my mother).

There were a lot of "horror stories" to reflect my parents mixed emotions about food and weight loss (when my mother went "off" the diet I was her binge buddy. Then she'd feel guilt and regret and she'd say 'we shouldn't have done that,' and so I absorbed the food=guilt message though if I ever tried to not participate in the off-plan foods I'd sometimes feel like my mother was mad at me). I was hungry a lot, so I'd sneak food and then get in trouble.

My brother learned he could "frame" me by stealing food and blaming me. My parents would say "he has no reason to steal food, because we would gladly give it to him, because he needs to gain weight." They didn't get that his goal wasn't the food, it was getting me into trouble for something I hadn't done.

I remember two incidents vividly. One was oreos that had been returned to the cookie jars with the fillings licked off. I pointed out that I would have eaten the whole cookies (my dad was so quick to agree "she's got a point there," that I was rather hurt). My brother didn't get in trouble, but I didn't either, my parents deciding that they couldn't know for certain who was responsible.

The second time, my mother found soda cans under my bed. It was before diet soda became popular. My brother and I were only allowed soda if we asked first, and never more than one can a day. I was able to prove that the cans weren't mine because they were all rootbeer and cream soda cans. Thank God for the cream soda cans, because I detested cream soda (and while I'd drink rootbeer if there was nothing else left, orange soda was my favorite). I pointed out that if the cans had been mine they would have been flavors I liked, not my brother's two favorites.

For the first time, my parents realized that my brother really would do things just to get me in trouble. And it started a bit of a war between my brother and I, where we would each hatch complicated schemes to get the other in trouble.

If I could have my parents do one thing differently, well I guess it would be two things. It would be to have been more consistent with their food messages (because they still "pushed" food on my on special occasions - so I often felt unable to win where food was concerned) and to be more understanding about how difficult it was for me to control my own eating.

I remember even as a child asking that some foods be locked away or kept out of my reach and my parents saying that I had to learn to control myself around food (even though my mother wasn't always able to do so well, herself). I was also sometimes punished for whining about being hungry. I would have liked a more sympathetic response.

I think the "dieting" mindset worked against me, because I learned that I had two choices. Eating absolutely eveything in sight, or being so hungry that I couldn't think of anything but food.

serendipity907
05-11-2012, 02:10 PM
My parents divorced when I was a baby and I grew up with my mum, for a large part of my childhood we were poor and we simply didn't have the money to always have much food in the house. I would go to school and envy all my friends amazing lunches, and be quietly upset that I had hardly anything to eat.

This continued into high school but it was worse as my mum had become very unwell at this point, I no longer took any packed lunch and rarely had money to buy anything-If I did it was only enough for a chocolate bar.

This lasted all through my school years even though by my final year our situation had changed and my mum was well and we had more money. I just took it as normal to go to school hungry.

It made me really loathe school for yet another reason, and it always seemed so unfair and difficult. I love being an adult now, since I know I'll never be in that kinda position again-I take care of myself now. The worst part of it all really was wondering why my dad never did anything to stop this-He never had any money issues and I know now he should have provided for me.

imnotperfect24
05-12-2012, 01:45 AM
Great Idea for a thread!

I dont know if this has anything to do with my issues now.. But when I was first born I got sick and was not able to eat.. Like they had to force me to eat because I would of died.

When I was around 4 I stuck both my hands on a kerosene heater and had to be fed all my food because I couldn't do it myself. I couldn't eat like a normal person.

Around 12 or so my brother got into drugs real bad and my parents would spend most of their time trying to get him the help he needed. I think this is where most of my issues come from. I wasn't neglected my parents loved me but I feel that since they had to spend most of their time on him I used food to make up for it. I started gaining weight like crazy at this age. I took food up to my room. My room was upstairs and the stairs led down to the kitchen. My parents room was on the other side of the house. My parents never said anything because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. (What they admitted to me later) I wish they would of because I was only a child I didn't know what I was doing was wrong.

My brother terrorized me. Not in a way that a brother normally fights with a sister.. I mean really terrorized me. He would come home late and jump on my bed yelling and screaming waking me up. (Just one example).

nataliegm
05-12-2012, 04:34 PM
My mom's partents did to my mom what she did to me. "you clear your plate or you'll eat that at your next meal." "you grandmother made that pie because you were coming and you're going to eat that tiny little slice" things like that. My mother told me about 4 months ago that she was sorry for making me clear my plate when I was little because she sees now what it did. she is in therapy working through some stuff.
I think I turned to food emotionally because of little things bothering me and then as I got older I held on to that. When I met my husband I was a size 16. We got engaged and then i found out I was pregnant about 2 months later. After that I found out it was twins. My twins were born very early and one of them has numerous health problems, including kidney failure and cancer. So the eating got out of control. I feel like maybe if i hadnt learned my eating habbits for my mom I would have handled all of the stress better. Now i'm a size 22. I have 105lbs to lose to be at the upper end of my healthy weight.
I hope I set better examples for my kids... eesh