Weight Loss Support - How do you find the motivation to continue once you've already cheated?




luckystreak
05-01-2012, 06:45 PM
The past 2 days were horrible, we had a huge party at my house and I ate ALOT, and yesterday I had a get together with new friends and felt a little pressured to drink some beers which were a complete ~400 additional cals to my day.

Today, all I keep thinking is "I blew it" and I dont even want to go the gym because that means knowing I gained weight.

I never had these issues when I lost the 30lbs because I was so on point all the time that every day was a good day. This is new to me.


SweetScrumptious
05-01-2012, 06:54 PM
Today, all I keep thinking is "I blew it" and I dont even want to go the gym because that means knowing I gained weight.

Your statement is quite contradicting? You don't want to go to the gym because you gained weight? Going to the gym will help you lose it! :)

The ~400 calories you over consumed is nowhere near a pound of fat (3500 cals). Sure, maybe the scale shows you went up one? But scales fluctuate because your body fluctuates throughout the day.

Just bite the bullet, put on your shoes and go! You will feel SOOOO much better that you were able to go to the gym on a day you were trying to talk yourself out of it! Take that mind tricks! (the other day I talked myself out of going for a jog. It was starting to get dark out. I literally sat up, walked to the door to go for this jog and turned around and sat back on the couch. 10 mins later... I said NO! and stood up and went on the treadmill... since it was getting dark out by then... I felt SOOOOO awesome for doing it when I was 99% convinced I wasn't going to do it).

luckystreak
05-01-2012, 06:56 PM
Your statement is quite contradicting? You don't want to go to the gym because you gained weight? Going to the gym will help you lose it! :)

The ~400 calories you over consumed is nowhere near a pound of fat (3500 cals). Sure, maybe the scale shows you went up one? But scales fluctuate because your body fluctuates throughout the day.

Just bite the bullet, put on your shoes and go! You will feel SOOOO much better that you were able to go to the gym on a day you were trying to talk yourself out of it! Take that mind tricks! (the other day I talked myself out of going for a jog. It was starting to get dark out. I literally sat up, walked to the door to go for this jog and turned around and sat back on the couch. 10 mins later... I said NO! and stood up and went on the treadmill... since it was getting dark out by then... I felt SOOOOO awesome for doing it when I was 99% convinced I wasn't going to do it).


I think I'm going to go.

And yup, contradiction - thats me. I know most people find the strength to work out when they feel they need to - not me. I love working out when I see progress, and hope.. it gives me the drive I need. Once I fail at something I quit. Its terrible but I'm trying to change it.


astrophe
05-01-2012, 07:05 PM
It takes 3500 calories to make 1 lb.

400 calories is 1.14 ounces.

Sooo.... you are going to throw in the towel over that? The weight of a letter?

Keep it in perspective, hon. Just go to the gym and get on with your plan before it REALLY blows out of control from the moody beating yourself up eating that follows. It hardly ever is the original thing -- that 400 cal is not THAT big a deal.

It's the guilt binge after with skipping workouts that does one in.

A.

erh12275
05-01-2012, 07:14 PM
I screwed up for the first time over the weekend...ate about 400 extra one day and another 1000 the other. I was to the point I was saying...oh why not...I ate such and such already. But, you know...I started thinking. If I do bad on a test I don't drop the class...I just do better on the rest. If I ruin my favorite shirt with ink I don't throw out all my clothes because it might happen again. Don't be so tough on yourself. You have done great and everyone deserves a little fun sometimes. Just dust yourself off and continue on.:hug:

kaplods
05-01-2012, 07:43 PM
I immediately get on the scale, because I know that a person cannot gain more from a food than the food weighs. In fact, it's only possible to gain about 90% of a pound from a pound of fat, and only about 40% of a pound from a pound of carbs or protein, and 0% from a pound of fiber or water.

As a result the food weight is always going to be significantly more than the fat weight that is possible from that food, so by getting on the scale immediately, I have what I used to call a "start fresh" or "do-over" point, but since one of my mottos has become, "there is no starting over or starting fresh, there's just moving on. So now I call it my "moving on" point.

But in my mind, I now have a new number to compare the future number to (and I get to celebrate as I see that number go down).

When it comes to weight loss, we've all been taught to binge after a mistake, but if we treated mountain climbing like we do weight loss, no one would ever survive it, because when you stumbled you'd have to throw yourself over the cliff so you could start fresh from the bottom.

With weight loss, you've got to learn to pick yourself up and keep moving forward or you'll never reach your destination (and most of us don't because we keep throwing ourselves to the bottom so we can start fresh).

Another destructive weight loss myth that is difficult to "unlearn" because it's so pervasive, is that only the ultimate goal counts for anything. Getting close to goal counts for absolutely nothing, and gaining is seen as no worse (or very little worse) than not losing. So when we feel like we can't lose, we feel that we might as well be gaining (and at least then we'd get to eat what we want and not worry about exercise).

But the fact is not losing (that is maintaining) is not only better than weight gain, it's also better than weight loss.... yep I said BETTER - because if you can lose but can't maintain the loss, the yoyo dieting that results may be worse for your health than just being fat, and because when you regain, you tend to gain more than you lost in the first place (so in a very real sense, I dieted my way to nearly 400 lbs).

And yet, while maintenance is the most important part, there are very few books or even chapters in books dedicated to the subject (Refuse to Regain is one of the only two books I've ever found on the subject. It was an epiphany book for me, and I highly recommend it to anyone - even if they're not at goal weight yet, because weight maintenance truly should begin with the first pound lost).

By making maintenance (not gaining) more important than losing, I ALWAYS have the motivation to keep going, and hardly ever have the temptation to transform a small screw-up into a big one. Because when I gain 5 lbs, maintaining the 100 lb loss is much, much more important to me than punishing myself for the 5 lb gain.

My first goal is "not gaining," and my second goal is "losing just one more" and then when I add that one more pound lost, it becomes just another pound to "not gain."

I don't always think I can lose more, but I'm always pretty confident that I can keep off what I've lost so far... but to do that I have to do almost the same amount of work as I need to do to lose, so I can't "give in" to the binge or I'm undermining both goals, the small goal (weight loss) and the much bigger, much more important goal of not gaining (weight loss maintenance).

The cultural tradition of "starting fresh..." (tomorrow unless the week is mostly over in which case starting fresh Monday unless the month is almost over, in which case starting fresh the first of the next month, unless the year is mostly over then starting fresh at the first of next year....

These aren't just idiotic things we've decided to do for no reason, we do these bizarre (as welll as destructive and counterproductive) "rituals" because we've been taught to. It's the way weight loss is traditionally done in our culture, and the traditions and rituals are so ingrained, we don't even know why we're doing it, we just do it because that's the way weight loss is attempted in our culture. It's just the way things are, and the way we subconsciously end up believing they should be.

It takes conscious effort and conscious creating of new and effective rituals to take the place of the old, ineffective and destructive ones.

Maybe weighing yourself immediately isn't your best new ritual (some people can't get past the ritual of beating themselves up over the number), the important thing is creating a new ritual that is more important to you than the old one. It's hard, because it's human nature to follow along with everyone else, but when it comes to weight loss you can't be a sheep, you've got to be top dog/alpha wolf. You've got to be independent of the cultural brainwashing we've received - but to make that change you've got to recognize the destructive rituals for what they are. "Autopilot" and you've got to get rid of as much autopilot as you can, because most of our autopilot instincts (when it comes to weight loss) are wrong.

shapedself
05-02-2012, 09:48 AM
It's just one day. Relapse is normal. Don't use it as an excuse to eat more crap.

jenjulia
05-02-2012, 02:34 PM
I understand how you feel because I've been there too. But just keep trying. Don't give up. Keep moving your feet and trying to eat better. If you get too caught up in being perfect, you'll start to feel like you are failing at everything. Give yourself a break! ;-)

djs06
05-02-2012, 02:44 PM
I immediately get on the scale, because I know that a person cannot gain more from a food than the food weighs. In fact, it's only possible to gain about 90% of a pound from a pound of fat, and only about 40% of a pound from a pound of carbs or protein, and 0% from a pound of fiber or water.


I do the same thing! I tell myself it won't get worse if I stop now. And I make myself go and work out the next day, no exceptions. That has been key to keeping me on track- I don't want to put in the time and know I did something good for myself while simultaneously throwing away that effort.

I also agree with finding your own rituals that keep you going. What's going to work for you isn't necessarily going to work for me and vice versa. For awhile it's "just keep swimming," but after you get to know your habits and what motivates you to keep going, you'll have an arsenal of tricks to fall back on. Just keep at it!

Martine
05-02-2012, 02:46 PM
Luckystreak, since you probably have a good idea how many extra calories you ate, you can figure out how much longer to work out to cancel it out, so to speak. Think of it as extra incentive to have a great workout.

I'm a perfectionnist and get down on myself if I cheat just a tiny bit, but I'm better now at talking myself through it and convincing myself to keep looking ahead and not back.