General chatter - Childbirth TMI horror?




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krampus
05-01-2012, 04:38 PM
A friend linked me to an article on Cracked.com today detailing the horrors of childbirth. I can't believe anyone voluntarily puts themselves through this! It can't all be this bad, can it? Moms, how was it for you?

http://www.cracked.com/article_16508_6-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-childbirth.html


oksanella
05-01-2012, 05:09 PM
I had a natural child birth , most of the things listed in the article can happen it all depends on how well u are informed and prepared. About the placenta i dont know i was too busy looking at my child so i did not see it. After-all its all worth it.

XLMuffnTop
05-01-2012, 05:10 PM
Oh lord. If child birth was awful every time, people would only have one child (if that) and be scarred for life. Childbirth is messy and for some it isn't a pleasant sightif you're not the one actively participating in it.

Not everyone poos during delivery, yes babies first poos are black (meconium), yes episiotomies may be necessary. And the placenta issue? Um, I don't know what my child birth looked like because I couldn't see it and I sure as heck didn't want to have it filmed. My husband only started paying attention to that area once the baby started to crown. Before that, you're looking at an upset, pained woman's vag.

Seriously, this stuff is just not a big deal, non-issues or you just do what you need to do to have a healthy pregancy/birth.


mandalinn82
05-01-2012, 05:17 PM
Episiotomies are on the way out as standard procedures. Lots of birth centers don't require continuous fetal monitoring, either.

But the placenta is fairly icky, poop happens, babies do tend to have coneheads after vaginal birth, and the bills can be high (obviously that is going to depend on your insurance and what you consider "required" for a newborn and what you can get hand-me-down or at showers, etc).

astrophe
05-01-2012, 05:24 PM
I think this article is exaggerated. To me it reads like the man writing it is not comfortable with babies or women's bodies. So why is he the one writing about birth? I don't get the vibe he respects women's bodies or women writing like that "to be funny."

If he's a dad writing about his stunned discoveries? Dude, you had PLENTY of time before birth to read up on it and learn! What, leaving it all to the wife? Now you have these "horrors nobody tells you" before birth? Slacker much for fatherhood?

Yes, some people poop. Some do not. I did not. Poo happens. So what? Just go pee/poo before it's all stations go and then there's no pooping while delivering. Prob solved!

Meconium poo -- never saw it. DH changed those and he said it was icky black but it cleared up. Such is life. Not a biggie. If you signed up to become a parent, changing baby diapers shouldn't be a surprise.

Placenta -- Biology has squishy things. We live in squishy bodies. So? (And I never saw mine.)

Episiotomies -- some do, some do not and from what I understand a healing tear is better than a healing cut. But I didn't have one, so I can't tell ya.

Cone heads -- they go back to round later. That's the shape to get thru the canal. So? Hardly alien!

Fetal Monitor -- I had that. Annoying, but not a big deal. Seriously.

Bill in hospital -- Yep. Pretty high. Thank goodness for insurance! But what do you think it is to adopt? (It can be lower with a homebirth.) If the birth sticker shocks ya, what about raising child to majority? Hello, research before you become a parent? Google "cost of raising child" leads to plenty of calculators.

I find it funny no mention of vomit. Because that I DID do -- I was very hungry but could not keep anything down after a point. So I'd have it and vomit and feel happier. LOL.

Bottom line? Women's bodies are designed by biology to do fine giving birth. Trust body. Though my birth wasn't exactly ideal since I would have preferred being at home (high risk pregnancy changed the game) not all pregnancies are high risk and most people can have the birth they want to have. Even my situation in hospital -- it was fine and I love having my kid.

Just don't read goofy articles and believe the exaggerations. Cracked.com isn't exactly great journalism.

A.

Vex
05-01-2012, 05:30 PM
I had my son at 25 weeks with a cesarean after 2 weeks in the hospital on bed rest. I would have traded any of that messy stuff for a full term pregnancy any day.

The bill after that and the subsequent 4 month stay in the NICU for my son was well over 500k.

I don't look at insurance as a bill pretty much anymore, just paying back what they paid. :/

.

Sakai
05-01-2012, 05:32 PM
As I'm just about to have my first, I can't really say if it is that bad or not but I didn't "voluntarily" choose to put myself through what is about to go down. I don't really have a choice, this baby has to come out some way.

As for the things they listed, I knew about all this long before i ever got pregnant. I hear about the poop thing all the time, but have never personally talked to anyone that it happened to (that they know of)
i've seen dozens of pictures of the afterbirth, looks like bloody, giggly liver...not very bad if you ask me.

Getting cut though, is the one thing I am afaid of. (again i knew about these before getting pregnant) But it's no longer something that Dr's do each and every time. Some believe that rippping naturally is better than being cut. (something about less infection and faster healing) But I guess it depends on how big the baby is and/or how small you are.
And that wire being "screwed" into the baby's skull is a tiny suction cup. If I'm thinking of the right thing.

I think this list should be 6 horrors of childbirth they never tell MEN about. because any pregnant woman or woman trying to get pregnant is gonna research the heck outta it.

krampus
05-01-2012, 05:49 PM
Haha I know there are merits to procreation on top of "ew poop" (if you can't handle poop, how will you handle 1-2 years of diapers?) - I just thought it would be funny to hear everyone's gross-out TMI stories from their experiences!

ICUwishing
05-01-2012, 05:49 PM
I'm afraid to read it, krampus. I honestly do not want to remember ANYTHING about that day except the magnificent baby that came home with me. Despite all the preparation and reading, and knowing that all this stuff can happen, I have never felt less in control, or more like some sort of weird medical experiment. Perhaps it was the hospital. Regardless, there is no force on earth (or otherwise - I've often said if God approached me for the next Immaculate Conception, humankind was doomed) that could convince me to go through it again. :D Not a single millisecond of regret - just not gonna happen ever again. EVER.

cherrypie
05-01-2012, 06:14 PM
your body protects you from really being aware of most of it the same way you would be if you were in a normal state of mind.

ValRock
05-01-2012, 06:29 PM
Hahahaha Yes and no.

Placenta. When I had my daughter they thought it would be funny to show mine to me. I threw up in the dish it was in. It's disgusting.

Episiotomies. Had one with son - 127 stiches. Didn't have one with daughter - No tearing. That is where I stand on that. And. Ouch. Just ouch.

I didn't poop either time. My husband has no tact and he would have told me. He was, however, in the bathroom doing his business when my daughter was about to be born. The nurse had to scream at him to get out there or miss things. Baby poop is unavoidably disgusting.

Alien heads - Both of mine were born with perfectly round heads.

Fetal Monitoring. I only had this with my first. It wasn't a huge deal.

Bill- outrageous. The amount it cost to birth my son could have purchased a house. I'm glad we're military.

Reading all that... why did I do that??? :D I know, cause they're darling and I love the snot out of them!

PinkLotus
05-01-2012, 06:55 PM
I had a very positive experience when I had my baby. It was painful obviously,and kinda gross, but it wasn't horrible!
Episiotomies - I didn't have to have one, and apparently most hospitals try not to do them unless they absolutely have to. They also told us at our prenatal class that you can refuse it - though I'm not sure how many people would refuse or do refuse.
My baby came out with a lovely, round shaped head :)
I live in Canada so I didn't see a bill or even hear how much it cost.
I would do it again for sure!!

Natasha22
05-01-2012, 08:44 PM
The article was funny in my opinion. Obviously, when a woman decides she wants to have a baby, she will do a bit of research before and be prepared for what's coming. I think the experience itself is so painful, you couldn't care less about pooping or having an episiotomy. Plus, doctors are so used to it, I doubt any of them get grossed out. If I ever have a baby, I will not allow the baby's father to assist, that I am sure of. I'd rather have my best friend there with me.

GlamourGirl827
05-01-2012, 10:36 PM
I think that article was meant to be funny, but its really not that bad! I've had 2 kids.
Placenta- didn't see mine. After I pushed both my kids out I was so over come with the relief/joy feeling, I don't even remember delivering the placenta.
My doctor does not do episiotomies, but I tore with my first son. I didn't even know it. I was in labor for a few days with my first and pushed for like 4 hours! The baby was not in distress, and my doctor said if I was up to it I could continue with a vaginal birth, so I did. By the time he was crowning, I probably could have had my arms chewed off by a pack of wild squirrels and wouldnt have felt it. My husband was telling me as a was pushing that I was tearing/ bleeding, but I felt nothing!
It did burn for a week or so after, when I peed :(
Poop happens. I didn't because with both kids I had the urge to go while laboring, so I went to the toilet. So nothing was left when it came time to push. But you know what? Doctors and nurse see EVERYTHING! Nothing is new for them, trust me, I'm a nurse. We don't even bat an eye at those things.
You know what's really frightening is just the uncertainty of labor. Things can go wrong. Maybe its being a nurse that makes me worry, but I'm afraid of the baby decompensating or getting the cord wrapped around his neck, or getting caught up under the pevic bone, or having some kind of health issue that they missed during prenatal care.

novangel
05-01-2012, 10:51 PM
I've had worse pain than child birth but it was definitely no picnic. The worst part was that it lasted 32 hours, that's a long time to be in pain no matter how high your tolerance. I would go through child birth again over raising another child though. ;) I don't have it in me for a second round.

juliana77
05-01-2012, 11:30 PM
I asked to see the placenta. I think that kind of thing is cool. I loved doing dissections in biology and even thought about majoring in it.

I pooped. Who cares, it happens and they are used to it. I had an episiotomy (we were trying to get him out fast at that point - he wasn't tolerating labor well) and I tore too - they stitched it up, it was fine. He had the fetal monitor in his scalp; his hr kept dropping and they needed to monitor closely. It is what it is. Thy also used the vacuum so his head looked weird... Not a true cone head since he was sunny side up (normal birth position is face down - of course mine had to do it the hard way lol)

Oh, the bill. It was $12 and change for my meals. Go Navy lol

Sum38
05-01-2012, 11:42 PM
Interesting; I can recall the horrid pain I went through with my broken ankle, but not the pain I went through giving birth to my 10 pound baby (naturally).

Both of my kids were so worth it! I guess love overshadows the pain.

junebug41
05-01-2012, 11:49 PM
Interesting; I can recall the horrid pain I went through with my broken ankle, but not the pain I went through giving birth to my 10 pound baby (naturally).

Both of my kids were so worth it! I guess love overshadows the pain.

I was just thinking about this! There's about an hour and a half that I've blocked out of giving birth (no meds). I've had to block out a good two weeks of my broken ankle ;)

Also, some of that stuff is not the norm. If episiotomes were that common place, they're on the way out now. If you go med-free you can avoid fetal monitoring.

It's just how it's set up. If it was that horrific no woman in her right mind would do it more than once and if it really is that bad, we're biologically wired to forget. I think it's baby smell. Spend a good week around good baby smell and you'll forget just about anything. It's intoxicating. Throw in a baby laugh and forget about it...

valalltogether
05-02-2012, 12:00 AM
euughh..

i'm gonna have to do this one day and i'm really scared. but thanks for all the insight, it's been real. lol

alaskanlaughter
05-02-2012, 12:04 AM
both of my labors were long, exhausting and very very painful...not everyone's is like that though...i was in labor 22 hours with my first son and 25 hours with my second son...and i mean active, painful labor...i had an epidural with both boys, the first one didnt work, with my second son it worked...ive been through all of it, i even asked to see the placenta with my second son because i'm curious and nothing really grosses me out....you know some ppl even take it home, cook it and eat it?? haha! (i didn't)

although i love my sons dearly and dont regret it, i would NOT EVER go through childbirth again or the ensuing sleepless 292 years with them...i'm too old for that lol...i didnt want any more kids after my first one, but my DH (not the same dad as the oldest one) wanted one child and i wanted him to have his own child...if DH had said "hey i dont want any kids, im fine" than i would have been Just Fine not ever going through childbirth again lol

alaskanlaughter
05-02-2012, 12:06 AM
euughh..

i'm gonna have to do this one day and i'm really scared. but thanks for all the insight, it's been real. lol

not everyone has horror stories of childbirth....its just that no one ever posts about "i had a quick and easy birth" etc...my coworker had 5 kids and all her labors were quick and easy, probably why she had 5 LOL

mandalinn82
05-02-2012, 12:08 AM
Val - I'm going to have to do this in a couple weeks. Just remember that women's bodies have been having babies for hundreds of years, and a lot of them had more than one, so it can't be that bad, right?

XLMuffnTop
05-02-2012, 12:22 AM
Honestly, the worst thing about labor that still makes my stomach clench to this day was the needle in my back for the epidural. I wish I hadn't done it but I was induced. Going from not-really-in-labor to slammed with contractions doesn't give your body time to produce it's own pain coping endorphins. That's really the only thing I'd change if I could.

junebug41
05-02-2012, 12:32 AM
I would also like to add that sometimes ignorance is bliss. I remember going on the hospital tour and seeing the mirror at the foot of the bed so you could watch it all. I was TERRIFIED of that mirror. My midwife said something about "looking" and I screamed (the only time I raised my voice) that I did NOT want to look. I do not regret this decision. As far as pooping, I may have, but I don't know. I haven't asked and no one has offered that information.

So really as far as I know I did not poop and everything is as it always has been :)

mandalinn82
05-02-2012, 12:53 AM
FWIW, my wife, doula, and I have a firmly discussed "Don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to poop.

shcirerf
05-02-2012, 01:36 AM
I gave birth to, twin boys, that weighed 6 pounds and 1 and 3/4 ozs, and 6 pounds and 1 and 1/4 ozs. It was a rather uneventful pregnancy. I was healthy as all get out. However getting that BIG, did get uncomfortable towards the end.

I won't bore with the whole story, but went to the hospital at 2 am. Boys were born at 6:35 and 6:39 am. No meds at all with the first, they gassed me for the second, I was exhausted and he was wedged crossways, up under my ribs.

I did tear, and had 8 stitches. Art, the first baby, had a big ole fluid filled bruise on the back of his head from the forceps, Dale, according to Dad, came whooshing out, looking like he was sliding into home plate!:D

It is messy business, and not particularly pretty. But, I grew up on a farm with lots of animals, so I knew that.

There is no way anyone can tell anyone else to what really expect, you just have to do it. It's different for everyone.

All in all, I would not trade the experience for anything in the world. If we would have had anymore, they would have, God willing got here faster than 4 hours after knowing what to expect.:carrot:

To this day, and I'm a Gramma now, I would HANDS DOWN rather have a baby than a bad toothache. Drs. are there when you're in labor, unlike the Dentist, who says, here's some antibiotics, deal with the pain and come back in a week for more torture!:?:

On the whole tooth thing, Had a bad tooth in Jan. Got an appt. figured on an extraction that day, nope, come back in a week. Ok. Go back. Tooth breaks apart, get some, get some more, one root bound up in upper jaw, ok, remove some bone to finally get tooth out. Things seem ok, 5 days later get up, the left side of my face, looks like chipmunk on crack hoarding nuts. Antibiotics, pain meds, yada, yada, blah, blah, I could have had a baby and been home and happy and mostly healed up, and something to show for it besides a hole in my head.

Pepino
05-02-2012, 01:46 AM
BWAHHAHAHA this is the best thread ever!

I've only had one so far but I tell all my friends...it's not that bad!!!! ANd I was in labour for over 30 hours...

The thing is, contractions only last a minute or so, so you know the pain will end and to me that makes it very endurable because you know you will get a break soon.

After twenty some hours I wanted the epi because I was tired and I did NOT want to feel the pushing part. The epi DID NOT HURT AT ALL!!! The IV hurts more than the epi and everyone I know who had the epi has said the same thing...that the IV hurts more.

Pooping...no idea if I did! I was only pushing for an hour but they told me to push as if I was pooping so that is what I did. I probably did poo LOL but all I saw was the blankets I piled on my belly. I didn't see anything!

I did end up tearing in 3 places but that was because of my NOT listening the doctor when she said "he's crowning...little push" instead me in my own head was like "I'M GETTING THIS DONE" and did a big push and thus caused my own tearing. Of course I didn't feel it at the time but STICHES HURT LIKE A ***** WHEN YOU PEE afterwards.

I wanted to see my placenta because I was curious...I even asked. BUt I was so distracted that I ended up missing it. I didn't even push it out. I guess it just magically came out LOL.

Honestly, after giving birth I felt like I should become a surrogate mother becasue I didn't have any trouble pushing baby out LOL. My friends think I'm nuts.

Oh and my little guy was TOTALLY a cone head ha. But he was still super cute. And that goes away really fast...even within hours it looked significantly less coned.

So my take home message...just get an epi and you'll be fine. ha ha awesome thread.

lostangel05
05-02-2012, 02:05 AM
This article seems pretty juvenile. Childbirth is not something that should be looked at as a horror thing. Both of my experiences were good. Of course there will be pain and a little gore, but then you get handed this beautiful little human being that grew inside of you. You see his or her face for the very first time. All the work and the unpleasant parts are more than worth it.

lostangel05
05-02-2012, 02:11 AM
I asked to see the placenta. I think that kind of thing is cool. I loved doing dissections in biology and even thought about majoring in it.

I pooped. Who cares, it happens and they are used to it. I had an episiotomy (we were trying to get him out fast at that point - he wasn't tolerating labor well) and I tore too - they stitched it up, it was fine. He had the fetal monitor in his scalp; his hr kept dropping and they needed to monitor closely. It is what it is. Thy also used the vacuum so his head looked weird... Not a true cone head since he was sunny side up (normal birth position is face down - of course mine had to do it the hard way lol)

Oh, the bill. It was $12 and change for my meals. Go Navy lol

I saw one of the placentas too. It's nature..what's not cool about it? I also went number 2 when I gave birth to one of my boys. The nurse told me herself...it's nothing they haven't see happen during birth before. I think I had an epi with one of the boys. Both births, I had to have some stitches, but with an epidural...I felt very little of that part. My oldest had the fetal monitor and the cone shaped head from the vacuum assistance (he was stuck under my pubic bone). But all that was left after was a small dot from the monitor. His head did return to normal shape. I paid $20 afterwards...also mostly thanks to the Navy and medicaid.

mandalinn82
05-02-2012, 02:44 AM
This article seems pretty juvenile. Childbirth is not something that should be looked at as a horror thing. Both of my experiences were good. Of course there will be pain and a little gore, but then you get handed this beautiful little human being that grew inside of you. You see his or her face for the very first time. All the work and the unpleasant parts are more than worth it.

The article IS from a humor site, so that might be to be expected.

cherrypie
05-02-2012, 03:14 AM
the truth no one ever tells you is that by the end you are so uncomfortable that if someone handed you a sharp enough knife you might just cut that thing out yourself.

you really are in a different headspace that is hard to describe, time has no meaning. I pushed for two hours and didn't know till I asked my husband. you have no modesty at all, the janitor could come in and watch and it wouldn't bother you in the least. It comes back after a few days. Your memory also becomes spotty. I can remember asking to see the placenta, but have no memory of what it looked like.

FattyFatFat
05-02-2012, 04:43 AM
I dunno... I guess it's different for everyone. I felt pain, but it was bearable, and I refused any drugs (never trusted them for some reason) and gave both to both my sons naturally. One thing for sure though... despite what some say, it does NOT get easier the second time around. O_o

sacha
05-02-2012, 07:59 AM
I had a traumatic labour, worst than most women, it took me 2 years to mentally recover from it (it included medical malpractice/birth injury).

The reasons listed in that article don't really make for a 'bad' labour. A lot of those things simply just don't matter to most labouring women. I *WISH* all that bothered me was the alien head or feces. Those things are not even noticed at the time, I didn't even notice the episiotomy. When you have contractions, your brain/body does not allow you to think about superficial things.

berryblondeboys
05-02-2012, 02:34 PM
My mom had a horror labor story with me and because of it I was terrified of birth. I always said I wanted drugs so I didn't feel anything, but most of all, I really, really didn't want to have a C-section.

Well, when we were deciding on having a baby, I started researching and quickly learned that if I wanted to avoid a c-section, I should also avoid drugs.

So, I did everything I humanly could to avoid a c-section. I exercised, did the Bradley Method, went to a nurse midwife (for delivery in a hospital), ate right, decided on no drugs and so on. In the end I STILL prepped myself for the "what if I need a c-section anyway).

In the end, I gave birth naturally in the hospital. Was it a perfect birth? No., but it wasn't a horror either and not nearly as bad as stories made it out to be. Did I poop? Yep. but again, I barely noticed it and they cleaned it up so fast I didn't even realize it and had to ask my husband. In the end, labor (the intense stuff) is a foggy memory almost immediately. I wouldn't call it painful, just really, really intense.

Second time around was much faster (7.5 hours versus 22 hours), but again, not perfect in a different way, but again, natural and smooth and wonderful. My 8 year old and MIL and husband were all there and my MIL who is a doctor commented on how calm it was. It doesn't have to be a medical nightmare.

Latchkey Princess
05-02-2012, 08:08 PM
Wow, really, terrifying? A bit dramatic, no? Let's address point by point from my mother of three pov...

6. Placenta - Too busy looking at my baby to bother to look at it or even really notice when it was coming out. On my third the midwife asked if I wanted to see it, I politely declined and that was that. It is, however, an amazing thing. It's what kept that little baby alive for most of the 9 months it spend in the womb. Absolutely mind blowing, no?

5. Episiotimy - It's possible to need one, but doctors are using them less and less as a preventative measure. And midwives typically don't use them unless necessary. I tore with my last two (my first was a c-section) and really it wasn't too bad at all. I honestly think them cutting me would have been more traumatic.

4. Feces - What can I say, sh*t happens. The nurses clean it up before you even notice it (you're too busy pushing out a baby). And unless someone in the room with you is really insensitive, no one is going to point out that you crapped a little while you were busy bringing a human being into the world. To avoid it you can do an enema, but that's possibly more uncomfortable than knowing you pooped on the table.

3. Alien Shaped Heads - Depends on how fast the baby is born, but most of them do have at least a little bit of a cone shape to their head. As a mother, all I can say is it's the last thing on your mind when you see that little miracle. And it goes away, it's not like they'll go to school with their head shaped like a traffic cone or anything.

2. Fetal Monitoring - Also a choice for the mother. I chose intermittent monitoring with my second, they checked me occasionally with a doppler. That's it. With my third they HAD to do the scalp monitor when they couldn't get a good read with the doppler, and good thing they did because his heart rate was erratic and dropping because of how fast he was coming and they needed me to push him out ASAP.

1. The Bill - Yup, this one actually is terrifying. But good insurance can help with that.

Most of these things aren't scary with a little foreknowledge and a doctor/midwife willing to listen to and work with the mother (pushy doctors are the worst and are the reason I had a c-section with my first). And once you have the baby, nothing matters that much anymore anyway.

ETA: About my births, my first was a c-section, zero labor. My second was a sucessful VBAC, was in light labor for a weekend, hard labor for about 8 hours before she was born. Labored in a tub and later on got an epi, 3 pushes she was out. My third was another successful VBAC and I was only in labor with him for 4 hours. He came fast and hard, had an epi about 3:50 into it (so it wasn't all that effective when I was pushing). I pushed maybe 3 minutes with him.

kirsteng
05-02-2012, 09:24 PM
I'm also a mom of 3. Had my first with an OB, second with a midwife in a hospital, and third with a midwife at home.

Epidurals? None. Does it hurt? You betcha.. but you kind of leave yourself and are in a 'zone'. But yeah, it hurts. I wouldn't trade that though for not having felt each of my babies slither out of my body.

Episiotomies? None. 2 small tears. One required one stitch, the other was small enough that they didn't stitch. Only the one with the stitch hurt. When in doubt - leave well enough alone!

Poop - not once

Fetal monitoring - none

Cone heads? - none - all had gigantic big round heads

Baby poop? Yup, two of them did it on my stomach in the aftermath of birth. So what if it's black? I don't even think it smells - it's just kind of weirdly black.. and there's only a little bit of it.

Placenta? Yup, saw it the last two times with the midwife. Have pictures of it. Had the placenta of my third baby in the fridge in a yogurt container for a few days before we buried it in the garden. It's a miraculous thing, one that it harbours life, and two that my body was able to grow a perfect ORGAN just for the sake of having a baby. Miracle.

THe bill? Nope - I'm Canadian so I don't ever even see it. But I do know that midwife assisted birth is by far the cheapest, especially without drugs. Home birth obviously the cheapest, and it's a beautiful experience. My older two children (then aged 4 and 6) were able to be there to witness the birth. Awesome.

So don't feel scared and out of control, all you first-timers.. it's a beautiful experience that YOU can decide on so many things.

PS Go see a midwife! ;)

sacha
05-03-2012, 07:18 AM
One thing a lot of people don't understand about childbirth pain, is the absence of 'fight or flight' -> you know how you yank your hand away from a fire or paper cut? You don't react like that. It's impossible to describe. It's more painful than you can ever imagine, but ... it's as if your body knows it is "okay". Hard to say.

I'll remind you all again in 5 months LOL

sontaikle
05-03-2012, 08:46 AM
I've read that article and the only thing that worries me is the pooping. Yes, the pooping. Why? I can just see my family NOT LETTING THAT GO for the next 30+ years.

Sum38
05-03-2012, 09:09 AM
I did "go". My nurse cleaned me up so quick that I did not even know about it. Nurses ROCK!

My DD formed a cone head much later when she was sleeping on her side. My DS came out looking like a football player with broad shoulders. He was so big and strong that he had neck muscles and was able to hold his head up since day one...now you should see that kid...all legs and arms and no body fat :lol3:

What was gross tho, the belly button..hehe...

Love my kids and I would do it over and over and over again just to have them....

What sucks tho; each time they get hurt, I feel, actually feel, pain for them. :) I count my blessing each day that I was lucky enough to have children.

4star
05-03-2012, 09:41 AM
I've read that article and the only thing that worries me is the pooping. Yes, the pooping. Why? I can just see my family NOT LETTING THAT GO for the next 30+ years.

LOL! Just don't let anyone in the delivery room who can't keep things to themselves! You can demand your respect in this case as it's your body and bodily functions on display. If they would tell your secrets, just don't let them in. They just wipe it away quickly to keep things sterile so you'd likely not notice.

And don't worry ladies, most men aren't this out of touch. My friend's dh came out in tears talking about how amazing she was to give him children. It can be a beautiful thing for someone who's in the right mindset.

The school-aged "what's grosser-than-gross" stuff was just something weird that happened not anything "terrifying or mind-scarring" like this author percieved it. But gosh, if birth was that traumatic for him, I am surprised he got past the periods part in the first place to concieve the child. :lol3:

MiZTaCCen
05-03-2012, 10:36 AM
I'll stick to adopting...I don't know what it is but OMG **** no am I letting some little monster grow inside of me only to maybe possibly rip out of my stomach like an alien and kill everyone...lmfao clearly over active imagination here...not to mention feeling it move...Child birth just isn't for me....

now watch within the next two years I get knocked up haha....

booskibabe
05-03-2012, 10:44 AM
Placenta. Didn't see it, didn't want to.

Episiotomies. Had one with my first, his head was stuck on my pelvis as I pushed with him for 3 hours. I think it was a second degree tear, and yes it hurt for awhile, but it healed eventually. I tore with my second instead of getting cut and it was much less severe and healed way more quickly.

Poop Yes, both times. And that was one of the parts that really freaked me out, but like others have said, it's cleaned up immediately so you don't notice it much. It was almost a reliefe - pregnancy caused awful constipation for me! lol (How's that for you tmi?)

Alien heads - Because my son was stuck for awhile and ended up having a vacuum assisted birth, he had quite a conehead, as well as a bruise on his head. Poor baby. :( My daughter had a gorgeous, perfectly round head, but she came out fast. (A few minutes of pushing with her vs 3 hrs with my son)

Fetal Monitoring. I had continuous monitoring with my son, because my water had broken. My issue with it is that it makes achieving a med-free birth more difficult since you can't move around that much with the monitors.

I had intermittent monitoring with my daughter, which helped a lot! I was able to move around as much as I wanted, which helped both to speed things up and helped the pain. I also got to use the jacuzzi with her and now see why some midwives call it a "water epidural". All I felt was pressure, no pain, and it definitely helped move things along.

Bill- outrageous.

After my son's somewhat difficult birth - pushing for 3 hours was not fun at all - I was really nervous about the second time around. But it ended up being easier, as I knew what to do this time. Besides, once everything started happening I embraced it, I just wanted it over and to be able to hold my baby.

fitness4life
05-03-2012, 10:51 AM
No one gives you a medal when you have natural child birth.

I say, get an epidural. Before going to the hospital; enema in private = no worries on the delivery table. Episiotomy won't hurt when administered, but healing can be painful. However, your va-jaja has been stretched beyond belief so it'll be painful, but not beyond what it's designed for so suck it up and you'll recover.

I threw up. I carped on the table (for the first one, and then I learned.) I don't speak about it. It wasn't traumatizing.

Complications can be scary. All of the above is not complicated.

It's most important to prepare for the possibility of complications.

After my 3rd (of 4), I knew something was terribly wrong when post partum my nurse pressed on my gut and blood squirted onto my socks. I was in shock from blood loss and emergency surgery was required. I woke up in the middle of surgery to hear the doctor say, "I can't find the source of the bleeding, order a blood transfusion. Oh! Here it is! A tear in her cervix." He stitched it up and I recovered just fine.

Pretty scary. But I wasn't going to die.

The thing is, when my doc inserted the fetal monitor when I was in labor, HE tore my cervix. I felt it and complained and he dismissed it.

Had everything gone wrong and I actually died, it would have been major medical malpractice law suit.

Just be vigilant about your own body and the health of the baby. No one will advocate for you better than yourself.

krampus
05-03-2012, 11:23 AM
I have no maternal instincts whatsoever but should I opt for procreation, I will absolutely relish every disgusting aspect of it. I'll even go so far as to eat a bunch of beets or something to make it extra vile! :D

Suzanne 3FC
05-03-2012, 04:04 PM
:lol: @ krampus!

I had natural child birth. My son was 3 weeks late, hard labor lasted 16 hours, and he weighed 9.5 lbs.

It was beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing. It hurt, but never enough for me to raise my voice. When he finally did arrive, he came out quickly and there were no complications.

I hope expecting mothers don't get the wrong impression by this thread. Childbirth is icky and can be painful. But it's beautiful and most people have good experiences.

WebWoman
05-03-2012, 04:38 PM
My first child came 6 weeks early - I was in the labor room practically before husband could park the car and get scrubs on. No time for pain meds, but Dr. did do an episiotomy. The cut was quick and not a big deal because of the other pain. I did see the placenta and thought it was interesting - did not gross out. The doc then gave me some local numbing stuff and put in a few stitches so the Vag would heal at normal size and not all stretched out. No poop for either of us and Perfect baby :-)

The next pregnancy was twins and they came about 3 weeks early. Had an epidural (yea!) and had a vaginal delivery, 10 minutes apart. The worst part was being given Pitocin to make the contractions more intense, given before the epidural. Labor pains suck! Perfect babies, TWO placentas, but no poop. They did push down on my stomach after the last one was born to get the placenta to deliver, but no big deal.

Arctic Mama
05-03-2012, 11:59 PM
That was an awful article, and no it isn't that bad. Placentas, IMO, are quite cool. Also with the feces and such? It really is no big deal. Fetal monitoring only sucks when they restrict your movement and act as though you're both dying because you had to roll over :mad:

Episiotomies are unnecessary, too, and as already noted here are on the way out. As someone who has had a four day labor ending in a c-section, a two day VBAC with an epidural, and finally an unmedicated VBAC, none of them were bad enough to make me not want more children, even immediately thereafter. And that's not even counting the blessing of the kids, themselves! Birth is incredibly awesome, but it is intense. That article is the kind of nasty misinformation and horror campaign that unnecessarily freaks parents-to-be out and doesn't prepare them with any really knowledge or wisdom. I know it is the type of stuff on the site, but it was junk.

Arctic Mama
05-04-2012, 12:14 AM
Oh, and epidurals and spinals? SUCK! The sheer ease of recovery and bounce back from labor for both of us made not having medication SO worth it. They can be helpful in some circumstances - I needed an epidural in my second labor to stave off exhaustion and relax enough to complete dilating - but just getting them without an immediate or emergent medical need beyond discomfort? Given the side effects to both mom and baby, it isn't worth it (in my experience, anyway).

Natural is the way to go, I hope I don't have another birth that needs augmenting because natural, unaltered labor was the best of the three ways I have now had children.

Pepino
05-04-2012, 01:39 AM
Oh, and epidurals and spinals? SUCK! The sheer ease of recovery and bounce back from labor for both of us made not having medication SO worth it. They can be helpful in some circumstances - I needed an epidural in my second labor to stave off exhaustion and relax enough to complete dilating - but just getting them without an immediate or emergent medical need beyond discomfort? Given the side effects to both mom and baby, it isn't worth it (in my experience, anyway).

Natural is the way to go, I hope I don't have another birth that needs augmenting because natural, unaltered labor was the best of the three ways I have now had children.


See and I have the complete opposite view. I had an epidural and thought it was great. THe only downside in my view was that the hosptial I gave birth at has a policy that you have to have an IV and a catheter if you have an epidural. Other than that it was wonderful and I could still feel giving birth just with way, way less pain.

I really don't know why anyone would want to go the natural route to be honest. I wouldn't want to feel the pushing out part of the delivery. Plus the beauty of the epidural is that because it is directly to your spine they can give such a low dose of medication that it doesn't affect the baby at all.

At the hospital the nurse told me that they deliver around 500 babies a month and 75% of the women have an epi. So they are very common and safe. Although, if I have a third child since it *should* be easier I'd be willing to try it without just to see what it was like LOL

:D

mandalinn82
05-04-2012, 02:16 AM
I really don't know why anyone would want to go the natural route to be honest. I wouldn't want to feel the pushing out part of the delivery. Plus the beauty of the epidural is that because it is directly to your spine they can give such a low dose of medication that it doesn't affect the baby at all.

There are a lot of well-researched pluses to not getting an epidural. For example, unmedicated labors are typically shorter, you have a lower risk of fever (meaning you and baby won't have to be given antibiotics unnecessarily in case of infection), you have greater chances of breastfeeding success (fentanyl in epidurals, specifically, is associated with early breastfeeding problems), and you don't run into any of the (small, but present) risks associated with the epidural (particularly blood pressure drops).

There are pluses to epidurals, too, and in many labor circumstances, they may be necessary (a mother who is so tense from pain that her cervix can't dilate may save herself from a c-section, for example, by getting an epidural so she can continue making progress). There are trade-offs with either decision, and there are definitely important, scientifically-backed reasons to decide either way, depending on priorities.

Arctic Mama
05-04-2012, 02:37 AM
You hit it on the head, Mandy! You're obviously very well read for your upcoming birth (I'm so excited for you and the wifey!).

The side effect rate of epidurals on mothers is much higher than is usually reported (anything from pain/neuropathy to headaches and all the way up the chain to infections) and it does indeed affect the baby, some more than others and depending on the dose/duration/skill of administration. Epidurals affect the balance of hormones in labor and in my case made for longer recovery after birth, more breastfeeding issues, and lingering pain. I was up and walking fifteen minutes after my unmedicated vaginal birth. My epidural birth was hours in recovery and a rougher nursing relationship in those first few hours. My spinal was administered well but I did end up with some side effects, too. Things like compromised respiration are factors with both spinal blocks and epis, as well, and that can be frightening and unpleasant to a mother. I also push a heck of a lot more effectively when I am getting full feedback not dulled by medication.

It is a very individual thing and my epidural was definitely necessary for the exact reason Amanda mentioned, but opting for them without medical necessity is something I have learned is very unwise. But I believe there are very specific physiological reasons for birth and the process and seek to interrupt that as little as possible, unless it becomes a health and safety issue (distress, exhaustion, malposition, infection, etc). It is one of those things each mom has to look into, but I've had pretty much every birth type under the sun, from starting out as a homebirth that transferred and ended up a c-section to prodromal labor for two weeks ending in an ultimately quick and mother-led natural hospital birth. So my perspective has obviously come from my own learning and experiences and every mother is going to have a different journey. This is where seeking out as much quality information on the process as possible is so helpful -making fully informed decisions is the best for everyone involved, regardless of what the decision ends up being.

But as for me, NO opting for medication that isn't indicated by the severity of my condition.

junebug41
05-04-2012, 08:20 AM
I believe that catheters and IV's are a given at all hospitals with epidurals. I had surgery the previous year and my bladder was bruised from the cath. It was not a fun recovery. That was one of the reasons I chose to forgo the epi and it was the right decision for me. They have their place, but I wanted to interfere with my son's arrival as little as possible and didn't want any of the variables added with the epi. I tell ya, being free to do whatever I wanted (what my body cued me to do) - eat, dance, walk, etc... was wonderful. I think getting one is a personal decision and they definitely have their place, but I wanted to consider all of the factors and risks.

sacha
05-04-2012, 09:41 AM
See and I have the complete opposite view. I had an epidural and thought it was great. THe only downside in my view was that the hosptial I gave birth at has a policy that you have to have an IV and a catheter if you have an epidural. Other than that it was wonderful and I could still feel giving birth just with way, way less pain.

I really don't know why anyone would want to go the natural route to be honest. I wouldn't want to feel the pushing out part of the delivery. Plus the beauty of the epidural is that because it is directly to your spine they can give such a low dose of medication that it doesn't affect the baby at all.

At the hospital the nurse told me that they deliver around 500 babies a month and 75% of the women have an epi. So they are very common and safe. Although, if I have a third child since it *should* be easier I'd be willing to try it without just to see what it was like LOL

:D

Well, there are side affects. My son had severe shoulder dystocia and due to my epidural, I was unable to do any of the maneuvers to get him out safely, so he was born with a birth injury.

Natural birth hurts like **** but quite honestly, unmedicated is safer in the majority of circumstances. I am having a home birth with this baby because it gives me the best chance to stay mobile and unmedicated in case the dystocia happens again.

Perhaps it is a cultural difference. In the US, it seems epidurals and being on your back in the hospital is preferred. In many places of the world, most women recognize that being free, mobile, and feeling your body is the safest way to deliver. To each their own, but it frightens me how 'medical' the American system is and how much nurses push pitocin and epidurals.

Sum38
05-04-2012, 10:19 AM
Childbirth is like religion or politics, each one has to do what is best for herself.

I was medicated to a point that I felt nothing with my DD, I chose to have no meds with my DS, and have the full experience. I don't know which was better. I love the outcome regardless. Those two and my hubby (and doggie) are the best things in my life.

I don't know which way I would go today, if I were to have another one...I hope not because I am way too old...hehe....but I would think about it and make a choice that would suit ME the best.

krampus
05-04-2012, 12:19 PM
Perhaps it is a cultural difference. In the US, it seems epidurals and being on your back in the hospital is preferred. In many places of the world, most women recognize that being free, mobile, and feeling your body is the safest way to deliver. To each their own, but it frightens me how 'medical' the American system is and how much nurses push pitocin and epidurals.

Well duh, they can make $$$$$$$$$$$ off anyone who doesn't have excellent health insurance!

Sum38
05-04-2012, 12:47 PM
Well duh, they can make $$$$$$$$$$$ off anyone who doesn't have excellent health insurance!

Quite the opposite...people with a great insurance get the works, because it is guaranteed money ;) better the insurance, more money.

krampus
05-04-2012, 01:29 PM
Yeah, that makes sense I guess.

We like to take medicine anyway, speaking in giant generalizations as a country. A lot of people like to think you can even drug yourself out of obesity.

midwife
05-04-2012, 01:31 PM
Well duh, they can make $$$$$$$$$$$ off anyone who doesn't have excellent health insurance!

In 13 years of caring for laboring women, first as a nurse and then as a midwife, I have never ever ever seen this at all. :( I would wager most labor and delivery nurses do not even know what type of insurance a woman may or may not have. The only reasons I note insurance types is because if a woman wants a tubal sterilization and she is receiving federal or state funding for her care, she will need a particular consent or if her insurance will not cover an indicated medication, I can help her find the most affordable option.

thundahthighs
05-04-2012, 02:28 PM
I was open to the idea of natural childbirth (no epidural) and then I got over 5cm dilated and was pretty much like: "Oh eff no, give me the epidural 5 minutes ago!" and then all was bliss again.
We did experience some negative side effects from the epidural, but I had been having contractions and had therefore been awake for 24 hours when daughter was born... pushed for 3 hours... I would not have made it without the epidural. I was told I might need a c-section as it was - that epidural allowed me a vaginal birth. So that and the sudden lack of screaming white hot pain was pretty awesome. :D

If you don't want to poop, give yourself an enema when you begin to labor.
The baby will poop at some point, that you can't stop.

And I don't recommend looking at the bill directly. You need a rig like for watching a solar eclipse.

berryblondeboys
05-04-2012, 02:49 PM
Part of the problem with American way of birth is that women are not allowed to move as freely as they do almost everywhere else. It's a LOT harder to handle labor on your back, in a bed and if you add pitocin? That is NOT normal labor.

We make it so much harder on ourselves than need be.

sacha
05-04-2012, 04:03 PM
Part of the problem with American way of birth is that women are not allowed to move as freely as they do almost everywhere else. It's a LOT harder to handle labor on your back, in a bed and if you add pitocin? That is NOT normal labor.

We make it so much harder on ourselves than need be.

For sure, I spent 3 days on a bed with straight pitocin and I actually spent 2 years mentally recovering from it, it was horrific.

PinkLotus
05-04-2012, 04:54 PM
I had back labor, and ended up getting an epidural because the pain in my back was so excrutiating, I literally couldn't move. And my contractions were coming in on top of each other, meaning I didn't get any relief from the pain, not even for a minute. I also got the epidural because I'd been up for over 24 hours and needed rest so I would have the energy to actually push the baby out. In an ideal world, I would have loved to have a drug free labor. But it didn't work out like that for me.
Everyone's labor is different, and different things work for different people. There are definitely risks involved in having an epidural - people just need to educate themselves beforehand, and then decide what's best for them.
If you (people in general) can do the drug free thing, that's awesome!! If you can't, that's awesome too.
Back to the original subject of the thread - I would (and will) happily go through it all over again to have another baby!

Arctic Mama
05-04-2012, 07:08 PM
Back labor sucks, and so does pitocin! I have had back labor with all three and pitocin with two - I feel for both of you!

Sum38
05-04-2012, 07:51 PM
Part of the problem with American way of birth is that women are not allowed to move as freely as they do almost everywhere else. It's a LOT harder to handle labor on your back, in a bed and if you add pitocin? That is NOT normal labor.

We make it so much harder on ourselves than need be.

Very true....each time I got up to go to bathroom during my son's labor, I dilated. Looking back I wish I had just walked around my room. He was 10 pounds and gravity was doing its job :)

Blueberries
05-04-2012, 10:17 PM
I had back labor, and ended up getting an epidural because the pain in my back was so excrutiating, I literally couldn't move. And my contractions were coming in on top of each other, meaning I didn't get any relief from the pain, not even for a minute. I also got the epidural because I'd been up for over 24 hours and needed rest so I would have the energy to actually push the baby out. In an ideal world, I would have loved to have a drug free labor. But it didn't work out like that for me.
Everyone's labor is different, and different things work for different people. There are definitely risks involved in having an epidural - people just need to educate themselves beforehand, and then decide what's best for them.
If you (people in general) can do the drug free thing, that's awesome!! If you can't, that's awesome too.
Back to the original subject of the thread - I would (and will) happily go through it all over again to have another baby!

Ugh... I had that with my second, and it was the worst thing I've ever felt. My first was an unmedicated 42-hour labor, and it was WAY easier than the 10 hours my second time around. I'm fairly anti-epidural (and knew after my first time that I could handle it), but I did get one with my back labor. I tried everything, and had been wanting a water birth (in the hospital), but even the water was doing nothing to ease the pain at all. Once I finally relaxed, I went straight to 10 cm... it was crazy! With my first, being in the tub took almost all the pain away. I recommend laboring in water to everyone! Even if your hospital won't let you birth in it (and some won't, mine's pretty progressive), at least labor in there. It's (usually) amazing!