Weight Loss Support - Ever convince yourself that you could live with being fat?




reallystruggling
04-30-2012, 07:11 AM
Have you ever just sat there and tried to convince yourself that you could live with being fat??

After countless diets, never successfully losing weight and being the 'fat one' for so long, I've tried to just tell myself that 'you love food too much, what's the point in trying to fight it?'

I was just wondering if anyone else had these thoughts before or is it just me?

BTW, I've just recently decided I want to lose 100 pounds by June, 2013 and I'm really looking for a buddy!! Please PM me if you're at all interested!


pluckypear
04-30-2012, 07:36 AM
Yes I have had these thoughts. However time and age are catching up to me. I no longer care about the aesthetic piece. And to be honest I believe we can be hot and fat. lol But my knees are in pain from orthotic arthritis and I get exhausted from climbing the stairs when the escalators are down. I don't want the health side effects of being obese. And it gets worse with age.

sontaikle
04-30-2012, 08:31 AM
I think learning to love yourself is important before you can begin a weight loss journey. Hating yourself thin is a horrible way to get there.

My life was fine when I was fat. I was physically active, I had a wonderful significant other, awesome family and friends and I refused to let my weight hold me back. When I got my eating on track and lost weight, things just got even better.


Amy23
04-30-2012, 08:43 AM
This is a great question.

I've had many moments where I've convinced myself that I could be perfectly fine staying fat -- but after a few weeks or months, the reality of being fat always gets me down. Especially when I think about all the things I'm missing out on. All the things I have missed out on. I've always wanted to just live. To enjoy being young and free; to find a boyfriend; even to have a family one day. But being fat has made all of those things harder for me: it robbed me of my confidence, made me a recluse, and stopped me from partaking in some things I truly would have enjoyed if I'd felt just like everyone else.

Losing weight is the best thing I've ever done. I'm slowly rediscovering my confidence and what it feels like to have hope for the future. I can't imagine stopping now!

toastedsmoke
04-30-2012, 09:02 AM
When I was in high school and elementary school, I wished I wasn't fat, but I was also not miserable about it. I just accepted it and it just was. I moved on from it and leaved my life. It didn't affect my quality of life or even popularity, once people figured out that I wasn't susceptible to teasing and there was more to me than "being the fat girl." I was resigned to being fat. It didn't really start to bother me till my sophomore year of college and it escalated from there and really started to hurt my previously good self-esteem. (I often say I was wayyyy better adjusted at 16 than I am even now!)

When my weight began to bother me emotionally and I began to realize I wasn't going to be a teenager forever and there were health considerations, I decided to do something about it. That was my resolution in January 2009, and I'm still on that journey now.

Nadya
04-30-2012, 09:46 AM
Sometimes. On days that I felt good for some reason or another I'd say to myself, "This isn't so bad, just be happy with things as they are". And when I felt bad, I'd just tell myself to deal with it because I'd probably never lose weight. I didn't believe that I actually was until I dropped close to 15 pounds and thought, "Okay, maybe I really am doing it this time..."

pixelllate
04-30-2012, 10:06 AM
Until I got to college, yes. I thought it was normal to cry in the dressing room all the time. I had thin friends/family but I just thought it wasn't an option for me to just...lose weight. even now, I still have to work on not feeling helpless when I go home. But once I lived away from home in college, something snapped where I thought "I don't have to be this way"
Oh and I never really thought I was all that fat, I am very good at denial and told myself I was just a "little large" Then I saw pics and couldn't run away, and even then throughout high school I thought it was just something I was to be forever.

krampus
04-30-2012, 10:57 AM
I think the reason I stayed overweight for so long was that while I knew I wasn't in shape at all, I didn't care enough to do anything toward losing weight. My life was pretty good, so what if I was 14 and too fat for juniors' XL tops? The 12 minute run in high school was grueling and took me out for an hour or two afterward - and I hadn't even touched a cigarette at that point!

After the first yo-yo my brain didn't catch up to my body and I still felt like a hot young thing or an "after" picture. I was bigger and in worse shape than most people at my college, but I didn't really care. Bad pictures were bad, but I only had one chin, so it could be worse. My friends and boyfriend were all good people who didn't care about 25-30 extra pounds, so it didn't feel urgent. So what if I was lying about my clothes size, telling people I was an 8 when I was really a 10-12? The discontent was always lingering, but it only reared its head once in a while.

debigulating
04-30-2012, 11:34 AM
I don't know that I ever phrased it to myself in that way.... but in a way, yes. My big yardstick has always been how I feel and how active I can be. I've always been able to keep up with my friends on hikes or even beat them uphill. I've been able to lift, carry, climb, run, stand, walk - do whatever I needed to do without complaint. I was never someone who was going to feel limited by her weight, to the point where I didn't really think of my weight as much of a problem until recently. It was only recently that my sedentary life and continued weight gain started causing big issues for me - back and knee pain, for one, but I also just felt WEAK. It was humbling. I couldn't help out like I used to when we moved. I got winded going upstairs. I had to call for others to slow down a bit for me. That, to me, is not okay... and I know the only remedy is getting down to a healthy weight and getting fit via the gym.

Beach Patrol
04-30-2012, 11:40 AM
Never. Being thin feels SO MUCH BETTER than being fat. And I'm not talking about all the cool clothes I can wear (altho that IS pretty cool :D ) but I'm talkin'bout the general PHYSICAL feeling - doing everyday things is much easier... climbing the stairs, walking from the parking lot to the office, carrying heavy grocery bags, doing my own pedicures (today I'm wearing Purple Passion!!!! :dizzy: ) ****!, rolling over in bed is easier! And I LOVE that my doc has given me good grades (lower "bad" cholesterol, better tri-g's, lower blood pressure, etc.)

Plus, anytime I've ever been overweight, I've just felt so.... BLAH. Depression seems to get to me easier when I'm fat. Apparently there's something "oh-so-real" to that idea behind the body & mind being connected. ;)

LockItUp
04-30-2012, 11:45 AM
I have *tried* to convince myself that I could live with being fat, and maybe for brief moments I've decided "meh it's not so bad", but really it only lasts for a moment because I'm miserable like this.

I am not the type that still dresses cute when I'm overweight, i just wear jeans and oversized t-shirts, so I never feel attractive at higher weights. I've tried to buy cuter clothes when I weigh more, but I just don't like the way I look so I don't end up buying them.

So I answered "Sometimes, but I know I could never be happy being fat forever", but really it has only been for moments here and there.

valalltogether
04-30-2012, 11:52 AM
occasionally i will start to think it's "not that bad" because maybe my clothes have had time to stretch out, everything fits well, etc,etc..

but then, i have to go clothes shopping, or i end up in a photo and i realize...

yep, its bad

reallystruggling
04-30-2012, 11:54 AM
I'm so glad all of you are sharing this with me! I made an account for 3FC months ago, but i only started being active on this site for 2 days. Thanks for participating in this thread and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE!!!

:)

berryblondeboys
04-30-2012, 11:56 AM
I "used" to say I could be happy fat. I was plenty happy just maintaining my high weight (was between 255 and 275 for EONS). I 'said' as long as I could eat, be healthy and do everything I wanted to do, then that was fine with me.

Well, I just didn't know better. AND... eventually the weight caught up with me and my health.

Now that I'm slimmer and more fit, I realize how much I 'didn't do' because of my weight. I realize how limiting I had made my life. I was a fool.

Now I realize I could never be happy unfit and heavy and I make other people in my life unhappy too. Any of us who think our weight doesn't affect our loved ones? That's very short-sighted.

Elladorine
04-30-2012, 12:02 PM
Whenever I've let myself into the mindset of settling at being fat, I think it was mostly a case of sour grapes. I've spent an entire lifetime being obese and much of it was spent feeling like I wasn't worthy of being treated like a regular person. So many times I've thought, "well screw it, I'll never be thin anyway" and would use that to justify not being accountable for myself. I also felt justified in knowing that I could still get around just fine and figured that was all I needed.

But I was partially fooling myself. Well yeah, I was getting around fine, but I never had the energy I wanted and was always looking for a place to sit down. Finding clothes that fit properly and are at least somewhat flattering has always been a struggle. On a trip to a theme park, I found I wasn't able to fit on some of the older rides (and that was after I'd already lost 75 pounds, I can't even imagine how much worse that day would have been at my highest weight)! I nearly passed out once while driving down the road, most likely because I so out of shape.

I've had to learn to love myself after years of anger, resentment, and low self-esteem. I've dealt with being repeatedly sexually molested as a child, combined with emotional eating and using my fat as a cloak of invisibility towards men. While I hated being fat, it gave me a sense of security, and it eventually became a sense of security for my ex as well. He didn't want me to lose weight, as he was afraid I'd get confident to attract someone else's attention that was actually good for me (heh, guess he was right). I still struggle with that all that in my head at times, but I'm making my will to be healthy stronger. Getting hit on is still scary, but the social awkwardness is easier to deal with now than when I was younger (plus it doesn't hurt to have a ring to flash at guys giving me unwanted attention, lol).

I can wish that my life was better in the past, but that doesn't do me much good. What I can do is take steps today to ensure that I have a healthier, happier future. :) I don't want to spend the rest of my life sitting on the sidelines because I'm too tired to participate in all the fun stuff.

LeilaJey
04-30-2012, 12:08 PM
Ahhh yeah the other day when I was really tired I though "screw it, I'll just eat crap all the time and be fat" because eating nice food is easy but being fat isn't.

Overall I must have been convincing myself of this even though I wasn't happy.

reallystruggling
04-30-2012, 12:14 PM
The funny thing is that i've never understood why it's so easy to gain weight but so hard to lose it... then a few days ago, i read an article that used a metaphor about money. 'it's a lot easier to spend money than to earn it'

Likewise, I didn't become 230 pounds in a week, so there's absolutely no way I can lose it all in a week...

Keep sharing guys!

luckystreak
04-30-2012, 12:22 PM
Have you ever just sat there and tried to convince yourself that you could live with being fat??

After countless diets, never successfully losing weight and being the 'fat one' for so long, I've tried to just tell myself that 'you love food too much, what's the point in trying to fight it?'

I was just wondering if anyone else had these thoughts before or is it just me?

BTW, I've just recently decided I want to lose 100 pounds by June, 2013 and I'm really looking for a buddy!! Please PM me if you're at all interested!

I remember even along my weightloss journey I'd convince myself that being overweight is not a huge problem and you know what, if I were 50 I'd think my body is amazing. But I'm not. I'm 20. And I don't want to rob myself of my beautiful youth, I want to be able to run around in a bikini with confidence, I want to be able to put on an outfit and not struggle to hide fat, I want to smile and take pictures without turning to the side or at a certain angle. This is my peak and I want to take full advantage of it.

Murrishmo
04-30-2012, 12:45 PM
ReallyStruggling, I totally know how you feel. I have the same goals so if you need a buddy I need one too. I'm so new to this forum I can't figure out how to PM though.

reallystruggling
04-30-2012, 12:52 PM
@Murrishimo

I just tried to PM you, but it said that you've chosen not to receive PMs !!! What's up with that??? You really need to fix that if we're gonna be buddies!!

but ANYWAYYYYYY

Hey!!

I'm Annie, I'm 17 and I would love to be your buddy!!

Do want to just communicate using 3FC and PM each other once a day??

btw, to reply to this, just click the 'reply with quote' button on the bottom right

-so glad you're looking for a buddy!

Murrishmo
04-30-2012, 01:31 PM
I just posted something in the help forum because I went to options and I didn't see anything about private messages.

I'm glad you need a buddy too! I'm 28, and I weighed less than 130 pounds until I turned 25 and suddenly I stopped dieting and exercising for various reasons and now I'm 220 pounds! So I want to lose the 100 and get back to exercising every day which is what I used to love.

I'd be happy to support you and help you do the same :D

kaplods
04-30-2012, 01:40 PM
None of the poll options really describe my thoughts. I have been overweight nearly all of my life, and nearly all of my life I've tried to diet, but it wasn't like I put my life on hold to do it (at least once I realized that doing so was a bad idea).

I've come to realize that being fat isn't the worst thing in the world, and I don't really care one way or another about my actual weight. If I could be active, healthy, and feel great - I don't care what the number on the scale is or isn't.

In fact, that's why my weight loss "this time" isn't so much my goal as a side effect of eating well and being more active. Sure it's nice to see a slimmer me in the mirror, but the feeling great and being able to do more of the active things I like to is the real reward. And the number is almost completely incosequential (except to the small part of my psyche that has absorbed the cultural obsession with the number).

JohnP
04-30-2012, 01:55 PM
I've tried to just tell myself that 'you love food too much, what's the point in trying to fight it?'

I love food too. This is a big reason why I intermittent fast.

This weekend I fasted Saturday until about 6:00 PM and had a very large dinner ... probably around 2500 calories. Sunday I ate a lot ... no clue on the calories but probably went over 4000 for the day. Today I am going to be fasting again all day until dinner which will be around 800 calories.

Thus - the total for the three days is around 7500. My maintinence calories for a day is around 2700-2800. Thus for the three days I'll have actually been in a small deficit but I really enjoyed Saturday evening and Sunday.

Just something to think about. You can be skinny and love to eat food ... you just can't eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

Bloopers
04-30-2012, 04:29 PM
This sounds kinda sad but I went to a highshool full of overweight people and I was never the largest one in the class and so I took comfort in that. I was fine with the way I looked, although I did at some point feel sad that I couldn't fit in that little cute sundress some girls could fit into. I've had people call me fat, but I didn't care because it was usually my family or relatives. I thought a little meat on my bones wouldn't hurt and the last thing I wanted to be is a skeleton walking around. Besides the clothes factor, I was really comfortable in my own skin. My main reason for losing weight at this point has to do with concerns of my health detoriating in the future if I don't do something about it now.

reallystruggling
04-30-2012, 07:02 PM
@Bloopers, I surprisingly agree. I didn't go to a high school with a ton of kids and specific cliques. My school was small and I never EVER got bullied for my weight. But now I realize that the rest of the world will certainly not be as kind, and I need to start dropping the pounds not for others, but for myself this time.

Kery
05-01-2012, 06:18 AM
I can't say I've always wanted to lose weight--it had never been a big concern for me--but I just can't afford being fat, for health reasons, so I just have to deal with it. I tell myself that at least I have a choice; it's not as if I had, say, diabetes, and it was really a serious matter... but I also know that if I cover my eyes and go with the old "having some meat on my bones isn't such a big deal", I could very well end up with such health disorders. Not to mention my stupid Facto V Leiden problem, and if I don't control my weight, it's likely going to be bam-thrombosis-shazam! in some not-so-far future. So yeah. My health matters too much to me to convince myself that I could live with being fat.

Just something to think about. You can be skinny and love to eat food ... you just can't eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

So true. Tell you what, I love food too. (What can I say, I'm French, it's in my blood. ;)) But one thing I derived from healthier eating is the desire to eat GOOD food. All in all, it evens out in the end: I don't feel like eating as much as before precisely because I allow myself to eat really tasty food at times, and so I feel satisfied. No more processed, junky ersatz! I want the real deal, the *good* deal! :lol: