Weight Loss Support - Feel so ashamed




View Full Version : Feel so ashamed


surfergirl2
04-29-2012, 10:35 PM
I've gained 10 pounds over this winter and whenever I see friends, I can't even enjoy the company, all I can think is how ashamed of how fat I am. I know that's not what they're thinking but that's all I can feel. It makes me want to hide at home and eat alone.


surfergirl2
04-29-2012, 11:07 PM
The thing is that this is the opposite of helpful. Feeling ashamed just makes me want to eat out of sadness, instead of work harder to lose weight.

redbird92
04-29-2012, 11:09 PM
I can relate! I gained about 10 pounds this winter too which means that I have officially gained back all the weight that I lost a year and half ago. I am SO self conscious about it and feel completely embarrassed that I let it get to this point.
I'm back in the groove now and have lost about 7lbs but I am so mad at myself for letting the weight creep back on after all that hard work!


toastedsmoke
04-29-2012, 11:20 PM
:HUG: Are you sure this is solely about your weight? Stop and analyze if there's anything else making you feel down and deal with whatever that is. If it is about the winter weight gain, try not to feel ashamed. It's so negative and limiting. Okay you've gained 10 lbs but you can lose it. It's temporary.

Give yourself a goal of a day, just a day to stay on plan. There's very little that's more empowering and more positive than taking the first step to change something that's making you unhappy. After that day, then take on the next day, and then the next. Take it one day at a time.

If a day feels like it's too much, then give yourself a goal of your next meal or your next food encounter. Make a good decision, it will make you feel better. Make yourself go out. If you don't feel up to working out, go for a walk, see people, even if they're strangers. Don't hide out at home. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself. Give yourself a manicure or a pedicure or a facial... something that makes you feel pretty.

I think naturally our emotions go through cycles that are normal but also consider that if you're feeling very down and feel unable to pick yourself up, it might be a good idea to talk to someone.

surfergirl2
04-29-2012, 11:25 PM
No, it's not just about my weight. I've already made an appointment to see a doctor about depression. I just feel so ugly and not worthy of friendship, even thought logically I know that a person's value has nothing to do with how much they weigh. I just feel so gross inside and out, and by that I mean in my body and my brain. I hope things will get better after I talk to the doctor.

twinieten
04-30-2012, 12:21 AM
Depression doesn't help with when you're trying to lose weight! To be so upset with 10 pounds, I don't blame you for considering depression and going to see your doctor.

I used to feel like you. Unworthy of friendship, unworthy, period, of anything. I felt dumpy and ugly and just really bad about myself. When I reached a point where thoughts turned to tears at the drop of a hat, I went out and got a nutritional supplement called 5HTP. It's a serotonin precursor and really did the trick for me. Later I learned that people who are actively dieting to lose weight find it to be very helpful with cravings. I guess for the emotional eater, it can really help.

I think regular exercise has also helped to keep those feel good hormones flowing. Since I've lost about half my weight, I feel so much more confident and better about myself.

BTW, I gained 10 pounds from about January to now. I'm stuck, and haven't been able to move below 170 to even get back to where my ticker is. We all do it. We all go there. Don't kick yourself over it. Just keep moving forward. It's only a bump in the road. You'll get there! :hug:

surfergirl2
04-30-2012, 12:35 AM
Thanks. I try to remind myself that there are tons of people, like you guys, also struggling with their weight and they are not worthless people.

I tried 5htp but I found it made me really tired. An odd side effect I guess. I'm now trying Sam-e, another supplement. I'm basically desperate to try anything, even just for the placebo effect, until I can get to the doctor this Thursday.

MOLE
04-30-2012, 07:09 PM
It is normal to gain weight, lose it, and often times re-gain weight back....it's frustrating, but no big deal only because you want to take steps to get the little bit of extra weight off....I think MOST people plump up a little during the winter--I know I do! Hang in there!!!

Bethedee
04-30-2012, 10:12 PM
Oh my gosh, that happens to me too. I feel just the same way sometimes, like my best friends in the world will notice that I've gained wait, or maybe even think I just let myself go now >.< I feel like those are the times I end up awkwardly inserting comments about whatever workout class I'm in. But when you think about it, you don't really notice when your friends gain weight (unless they're super skinny to begin with, and with those people honestly, not the worst problem in the world). They don't notice either.

astrophe
04-30-2012, 10:27 PM
Good for you! I'm glad you are looking in to the depression thing.

That seems to be the bigger health issue than the 10 lbs right now. Your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about the 10 lbs, and not the actual pounds.

don't feed the bad dog. (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/253979-one-wins-one-you-feed.html)

GL!
A.

shapedself
05-01-2012, 11:57 AM
Sorry you're feeling so shitty. I hope whatever you decide to do turns it around for you.

summerlove
05-01-2012, 12:38 PM
No, it's not just about my weight. I've already made an appointment to see a doctor about depression. I just feel so ugly and not worthy of friendship, even thought logically I know that a person's value has nothing to do with how much they weigh. I just feel so gross inside and out, and by that I mean in my body and my brain. I hope things will get better after I talk to the doctor.

Oh :hug:

Been there. Struggled for years with it. I tried supplements, exercise, counselling (this helped a bit) but I finally bit the bullet and went on medication. I still wish I didn't need a pill to make me feel better, but that's life.

You're a stronger person than you think ;)

LozzCowell
05-01-2012, 12:44 PM
I'm so sad to hear you're struggling at the moment surfergirl2, and you're taking the right steps by talking to your doc.

I had the same problem about a year go now. My friends were all skinnier than me and it would really get me down. Anyway, they turned out to be complete and utter cows. So, I dumped them all!! EVERY LAST ONE!!

No-one deserves to feel unworthy of friendship, and NO-ONE should be, well, bullied for how they are. So, I kicked them all to the kerb. Best thing I've ever done!!

Surround yourself with positive things and positive people, who you love you for you and don't pick at you for how you look.

Look after your mental health, and the rest will follow. Trust me, it will happen.

Keep your chin up. :hug::hug:

Charmed7
05-01-2012, 01:53 PM
Surfergirl - when I read your first two posts, I thought depression. Then I kept reading and saw you acknowledge it as well. Talk to your doctor about seasonal affective disorder. I have that, and it's amazing how bad the winters get, and how much weight I gain.

Try to get moving outside as much as possible. Walk, bike, run whatever. The sun can help lift your mood, and the exercise does wonders too!

Good luck!
C7

cbressler1976
05-01-2012, 02:36 PM
I just wanted to add that at 5'7 155 lbs isn't really fat..... I think like you have stated that you are depressed....

guacamole
05-01-2012, 02:50 PM
I think most of us on this board can relate to at one time feeling ashamed and worthless because of our weight. However, as others have said, if we looked deeper we realized that the weight was just a symptom of our feelings and not the main cause. It's great that you are going to see a doctor/therapist. Many time, as the real emotional issues resolve, the weight starts to come off too.

surfergirl2
05-01-2012, 03:53 PM
Thanks so much everyone. I realized a while back that being depressed about my weight wasn't helping...so i decided to accept who i am. So i feel fine when i'm alone and in my sweatpants so my clothes aren't a constant reminder of how fat i feel. But i still have it in my imagination that others think i'm fat...which i doubt is true. Anyway yes i think it is all a symptom of depression. Hopefully the doctor's visit will go well on Thursday.

losermom
05-01-2012, 06:36 PM
surfergirl, how do you feel about your friends if they gain 10 lbs? Do you not want to see them as they are now worthless to you? Of course not! You are worthy--of friendship and love! Your friends want to spend time with you regardless of your size because they find your friendship valuable. Spending time with your friends is good for your mood and may help your feelings of depression. Don't hide yourself away. Trust me nobody can tell + or - 10 lbs.

surfergirl2
05-01-2012, 07:27 PM
surfergirl, how do you feel about your friends if they gain 10 lbs? Do you not want to see them as they are now worthless to you? Of course not! You are worthy--of friendship and love! Your friends want to spend time with you regardless of your size because they find your friendship valuable. Spending time with your friends is good for your mood and may help your feelings of depression. Don't hide yourself away. Trust me nobody can tell + or - 10 lbs.

That's so true. I don't value them less if they gain 10 pounds. But like i was talking to a guy friend who was SOOO fit (and probably weighs like 30 pounds less than me... a GUY) and i just felt so ashamed and unworthy of talking to him (i'm NOT interested in him, just a friend).

Natasha22
05-01-2012, 07:39 PM
I think it's wonderful that you've decided to see a doctor. I do feel like you're on the right track because you're acknowledging the fact that this has less to do with your actual body weight and more with self esteem and self worth. Most people gain weight during winter, it's natural, plus you have a healthy weight for your height. Sometimes, the only way to deal with issues like these is to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to interact with people. It may be uncomfortable at first (like the situation you described with your guy friend), but this is the only way you'll realize that people appreciate you for who you you are, not what you look like and each human being is worthy of friendship and love.

grabec
05-01-2012, 07:39 PM
Wow, I was so glad to find these postings and all the encouragement. I so relate to feeling embarassed. I have put on a lot more than 10 pounds in the last few years. Then I put on another 10 just this year. It has been horrible and my self esteem has plummeted. I too am embarassed for people I know to see me as I look like an elephant compared to where I was. It is the pits. I am glad I am back reading these posts. They are so hopeful. Thanks to all of you.