General chatter - Man, I feel like an idiot...




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mimsyborogoves
04-29-2012, 08:25 PM
So as most of you know, I graduated from college yesterday. To celebrate, I went over to my brother's house and well, I got pretty damn intoxicated, lol. Fun fun fun, right?

Well, I have a REALLY bad habit of drunk dialing, especially guys. I texted and called two of my male friends last night, one of whom is a potential romantic interest and the other is someone I've been friends with for like 3 years. I know I annoyed the crap out of both of them, and I got into a really big argument with the long-term friend about it today because apparently it almost caused him and his girlfriend to get in a really big fight (but I have issues with that anyway; that's another story for another time) and as far as the other one is concerned, I texted him again today to apol=ogize for being a nuisance last night, and he said it wasn't a big deal and he wasn't worried about it, but he made a point to IM me and tell me he didn't want to talk when I got online today, which makes me feel kinda iffy about that now.

I know that in my drunken state of mind, I didn't really think that what I was doing or saying was wrong, but now that I'm sober I really, really regret contacting them last night, knowing that I wasn't sober. I feel like I may have really messed things up with the romantic interest, and as for the other guy, I think he'll forgive me, but I still feel really bad for stirring things up between him and his girlfriend, even if my intentions were seemingly harmless. (I think the worse thing I said to him was I loved him -- apparently that's a huge no-no. =/ But I figured, if we've been friends for three years, I ought to be able to tell him I love him with no problem, right? Or am I wrong?)

I don't know how to remedy these situations and right now I feel like a child who's in big big trouble and deserves to be punished. I don't think the other guy deserves me, and I just hate myself right now for being so stupid. I don't know what to do to make them or myself feel better. *sigh* Like the title of the post said, I feel like an idiot.


wtfudge
04-29-2012, 09:19 PM
Well, so, if another girl called up my boyfriend and told him she loved him, regardless of friend status, I would be really angry cuz who does she think she is? :P so yeah, I'm sorry, but that was a no-no.

As for your romantic interest, I have no idea what you told him so idk :P I feel like it's not a terrible situation with him though :)

theox
04-29-2012, 09:19 PM
:hug:

You apologized to them, which is pretty much all you can do. Unless they ask for an apology again, you should probably just let it drop and give them some space for a while. How they respond is up to them. In the meantime, maybe you could figure out a plan for kicking your drunk-dialing habit, since it's causing you problems. No reason to make the same mistake twice, right?


guacamole
04-29-2012, 09:55 PM
I think the advice to give these guys some space to cool off is the way to go. In my experience, my women friends who get tipsy and drunk dial men, target men that they have feelings for but are too shy to tell them when they are sober. It's an easy out to blame it on the liquor if the guy reacts poorly. Most men are hip to that game, and realize that there is at least a hint of truth to the feelings that were declared during the drunken phone call. So there are a few issues, #1 Men usually don't like game playing - if you like a guy, tell him straight out sober. #2 If the guy isn't into you, he will feel uncomfortable hanging out with you after you've expressed your feelings - saying you were drunk isn't going to help him feel less uncomfortable. #3 If the guy has a girlfriend and she heard the drunken phone call, now he has to do damage control on the home front.

Bottom line, you aren't the first woman to make this mistake and won't be the last. Just chalk it up to experience and if they contact you again, great, if not, move on and learn from it.

chickadee32
04-29-2012, 10:19 PM
Well, first, congratulations on your graduation!

Second - I know how you feel. :hug: Pretty much every time I get drunk I feel like an idiot the next day. I may not have been calling people in the middle of the night, but I undoubtedly did or said something stupid (or many stupid things!) that I wouldn't have done/said if I had been sober. And I'm 33! The only thing that has changed as I've gotten older is the frequency with which it happens; I rarely get intoxicated now, as I hate feeling that awful regret I ALWAYS have the next day. It's just really, really not worth it. (though apparently I need repeated reminders, as it still happens a few times each year)

Give your friends a few days breathing room, and things will be fine. And you'll be feeling better in a few days too, I promise. :)

astrophe
04-29-2012, 10:24 PM
I don't know how to remedy these situations and right now I feel like a child who's in big big trouble and deserves to be punished. I don't think the other guy deserves me, and I just hate myself right now for being so stupid. I don't know what to do to make them or myself feel better. *sigh* Like the title of the post said, I feel like an idiot.

You apologized. That's good to start. Whether they allow you to make amends -- that's in their court, not yours. Make peace with that and see what they decide. They may choose to continue the friendships and overlook it, or it may cost you that friendship because they don't want to deal in this kind of drunken behavior.

The other part of the puzzle though? KNOWING you get this way when you have to much to drink... do the next step there. Don't drink that much. Find other ways to celebrate.

Problems solved for future then -- you won't be in drunk dialing state again and feel awkward again about it.

*shrug*

If you only do the apology bit, and don't deal with the drinking bit, and you keep on with the beating yourself up over it -- you are in a feedback loop. And only you have the key to break out of that cycle.

A.

Arctic Mama
04-29-2012, 11:54 PM
Sorry honey, but the way to remedy these situations is apologies and learning - ie: don't get that drunk! I know I won't be in control of myself or my mouth if I'm drunk, which is why I have never in my life gotten more than slightly tipsy! It's not worth the money, calories, or potential social embarassment!

fitness4life
04-30-2012, 09:20 AM
Ugh. I'm not a drunk dialer, but I know that regretful feeling. Usually what happens to me is I run into someone at a later date and they repeat an entire conversation that I have little recollection of. OOoo it's really hard to fake remembering exact words. I HATE it.

I agree with everyone's posts.

Seeing that you have posted some rather major things recently, I just want to say that you are going through some MAJOR worrisome changes and it's OK to feel anxiety and self-doubt.

BUT, take this time as an opportunity to see what you're made of. How will you deal with graduation, finding a job, keeping an eye out for the right man to settle down with, all that your future holds that you want but don't know how it's going to end up - all of that - and put the drink down, get your bad-arse in gear and tackle the world!!!

You are in a scary yet great time of your life. Make the most of it. It's the best chance of your life time to start YOU. Yes, we get second chances, but this is your first. Make it great.

MiZTaCCen
04-30-2012, 09:31 AM
If you guys have been friends for three years, and we're never romantic and it's only been platonic, then yea you saying I love you in a friendship way isn't an issue. I have a best guy friend who I love dearly and we tell each other that we love each other and miss each other and it doesn't matter because we ARE just friends. Theres no romantic history with us, there's no romantic nothing with us, we're like brother and sister. So I don't think you did wrong there. If the girlfriend has an issue with that, it's her own insecurity. theres a difference between love and being in love.

Other than that, you apologized they'll come around when they're ready. I know when I'm drunk I tend to be text drunk dialer too and I'm blunt sober so I can be much much worse drunk lol so I stay away from booze or getting that **** faced because of that. hah

berryblondeboys
04-30-2012, 09:35 AM
And if you ARE going to drink that much - turn off the phone or hand it off to someone. NO ONE likes talking to a drunk in person or on the phone - NO ONE.