Weight Loss Support - Do you ever feel like an imposter in your diet?




munchievictim
04-26-2012, 05:41 PM
This may be weird, I don't know. Im doing really well and on plan right now, with all the determination and motivation to keep going. But I have to tell myself EVERY DAY to take it slow, not to get too emotionally dependent on the number on the scale, but to stay accountable and honest with myself so I don't slide backwards.
But I'm afraid I will, of course. I have before. I've been doing really well for months at a time and gained back double what I lost. I feel like there's dieting-me and real-me. And that I can only carry around the dieting mask for so long before, you know, I fail. I'm just afraid of the day I don't get up and weigh myself and think about how many calories are in my breakfast. I know that the key is to take it one day at a time, and try every day. I guess the switch just hasn't flipped in my head that I am getting healthy, I am a healthy person.
How about you guys? Do you ever feel this way? Has your switch flipped yet? If it has, how long did it take? Any advice?


redbird92
04-26-2012, 06:16 PM
I'm right there with you munchievictim! I can totally relate. Wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I could use some myself! I have always succeeded in weight loss only to gain it back... and then some! I have lost the same 20-25 pounds at least 4 or 5 times over the past 8 years or so. Each time I vow that I will NEVER gain it back because it feels so great. However, somewhere along the line that all goes out the window. I can't quite figure out why I don't stop myself at the first five or 10 regained. I guess after that point I feel so self defeated that I just give up. Then at some point, as the scale climbs higher, I get disgusted with myself and get motivated to do it all over again...which is just where I am right now. I really want to lose it and keep it off for good this time but I'm afraid I'll repeat past history despite my desperation to be done with dieting for good! I can't quite figure out how to make that "switch" flip for good and maintain a healthy lifestyle after losing. I'd also love to hear any revelations from those who have lost and maintained.

freelancemomma
04-26-2012, 07:33 PM
<<I feel like there's dieting-me and real-me.>>

That's exactly why I've chosen the least restrictive eating plan possible. I've noticed that a lot of people on this board have complicated regimens that involve restricting many foods, eating macronutrients in specific proportions, eating at certain times, etc. That wouldn't work for me because it's not the real me! I watch portions and loosely count calories, but don't have any forbidden foods or restricted food groups. By and large I like healthy foods, but if on a particular day I feel like white bread rather than whole wheat, I have the white bread! If one day I feel like a banana and melted Nutella for breakfast, that's what I have. As a result, I don't really feel there's a big gap between dieting-me and real-me. Perhaps something to consider.

Freelance


LockItUp
04-26-2012, 07:50 PM
I feel that exact same way all the time. I don't trust myself yet. Like I trust myself today, I know today I'm doing good and will eat decent and get my workout in, but I can't look too far ahead. I am trying desperately to stay "in the middle", because where I go wrong is when I get too extreme because it always rubberbands back the other way. One thing that I have realized about myself recently is that I gain weight to punish myself in a way, obviously it's not exactly that simple, but in essence it comes down to that. Also I am a chronic overeater/binge eater which of course goes hand in hand with my gaining weight. That is something I am constantly trying to understand and figure out as far as the whys.

Natasha22
04-26-2012, 08:27 PM
I think you've made a great step in your diet by admitting you're insecure about your motivation. These feelings are perfectly normal. You can diet and still stay true to yourself, accept your weaknesses and rely on your strengths. I have a friend who as soon as she started her diet she suddenly "loved" boiled vegetables and fish. The same person who in the past wouldn't touch fish because she didn't "like the taste". It seemed a bit hypocritical to me, but in the end I decided I shouldn't judge, maybe by constantly telling herself she loved healthy food she actually ended up loving it.

In the end, you're in control of your own choices, but don't put too much pressure on yourself. Just try and do your best to live a healthy lifestyle, take it one day at a time, there's no point in stressing over how you'll be in a few months time. You'll know when you get there.

KittyKatFan
04-26-2012, 09:40 PM
I feel this way. I have been in this situation before too, where I have lost a significant amount of weight and gained it back. Twice.

This time, I just tell myself that things have to be different. In the past attempts, it was more about looking better. I'm older now, so while looking better still matters, this weight loss attempt is about my health. I just have to get my weight under control or I will die early and probably with a lot of complications along the way. It's that simple.

Just don't give up. You will have bad days and may slip, but don't feel guilty or upset. Just get back on plan and keep going. You can do it!

guacamole
04-26-2012, 09:52 PM
I always feel like I am one binge away from losing it all. I don't trust myself to stay on track for the long haul and feel fearful when the scale either doesn't move or goes up. I will say, that the longer I am on this journey, the more I am trusting myself to stick with it. I take it day by day.

thistoo
04-26-2012, 10:06 PM
I always feel like I am one binge away from losing it all.

Me too. And I know it's true, because I've regained nearly all of my weight and I'm fighting to get it back off again. The thought that I'll fight this battle every day for the rest of my life is terrifying.

chubbybunny29
04-27-2012, 12:20 AM
In my early 20's, I lost 50lbs, and by my late 20's, I regained all of it, and 30 more pounds. So I def. know what you're going through!

I think it just comes down to doing what you can live with. I can't handle never eating in a restaurant again, but I can handle eating more veggies every day, and not eating french fries. I can't be a runner, but I can handle doing some squats, etc.

munchievictim
04-27-2012, 02:53 PM
It's amazing that so many of us struggle with these insecurities. I also am terrified I'll struggle every day, and that one week of letting my binge tendencies go will undo a month or a year of eating well. Im trying so hard to not try so hard! What is that about? It's such a struggle for me to just eat normal and even after a month on plan, if I hear about someone's crazy binge, I WANT TO BINGE! I should be grossed out by the idea, but I want to just cut loose and eat until I'm sick. Does that fade with time? At least get less difficult to resist?

thistoo
04-27-2012, 03:44 PM
Does that fade with time? At least get less difficult to resist?

I think it does get less difficult to resist, and for some people it seems to go away completely. I am not one of the lucky ones. I still have conversations with myself regularly about ignoring the urge, even after giving up all grains and all sugar. I understand the emotions behind why I overeat, and I have psychoanalyzed myself to death many times.

Yet the compulsion is still there for me, and it's not always triggered by the same things. It's scary, but the alternative to dealing with it is to gain and gain and gain, and I don't want that either.

LockItUp
04-27-2012, 03:47 PM
It's amazing that so many of us struggle with these insecurities. I also am terrified I'll struggle every day, and that one week of letting my binge tendencies go will undo a month or a year of eating well. Im trying so hard to not try so hard! What is that about? It's such a struggle for me to just eat normal and even after a month on plan, if I hear about someone's crazy binge, I WANT TO BINGE! I should be grossed out by the idea, but I want to just cut loose and eat until I'm sick. Does that fade with time? At least get less difficult to resist?

Gosh I hope it does!

Back in 2005/06 I lost 60 lbs, from 193 to 143. Then in 06/07 I gained it all back, then in 08 got pregnant and gained 43 more lbs, then lost that plus some down to 175 in early 2010, but then started talking about having another baby and went back up to 193, then gained 43 lbs with my 2nd pregnancy (had my son this past December). So I've been down this road several times, and even prior to 2006 had had several small weight losses and gains. My pattern doesn't allow me to trust myself yet. My hope is that doing things differently this time will allow "real me" to trust "diet me" and vice versa. Until I really do try to take it one day at a time (cliche as it may be). I still struggle at times during the day, and some days are better than others, but I do have a different mentality this time, which I really really hope will make the difference long term.

Steph7409
04-27-2012, 04:45 PM
I'm older than most of you (I'm 54) and I'll just say that I've given up hoping that I'll ever truly overcome my problems with food, but it can get easier and we can be successful. I've been trying to strike a balance between not being too hard on myself and not being too self-indulgent. It's okay to go off plan, but it's not okay to stay there. It's okay to fail sometimes, but it's not okay to look for reasons to fail so I can go back to eating like a crazy person. I'm trying to recognize that I'm a compulsive eater and to find strategies to cope with that. Calorie counting on Lose It has been a great tool for me, as has participating on this forum.

As for feeling like an imposter, YES. But I think that feeling goes away with time. The more that I act like a person who has a "normal" relationship with food, the closer I am to being such a person. I hope.

freelancemomma
04-27-2012, 04:49 PM
I should be grossed out by the idea, but I want to just cut loose and eat until I'm sick. Does that fade with time? At least get less difficult to resist?

I suspect the urge to overeat will always be with me. What HAS changed for me is the ability to resist temptation. By no means is it perfect, but I can keep tempting foods in the house without succumbing, for the most part, and I can get myself back on track after a couple of binge-y days. Knowing that I have this capacity has given me **some** confidence that I won't keep yo-yoing. In my experience, a lot of it comes down to habit. We can get into the habit of not resisting, which leads us to believe we "can't" resist, and we can get into the habit of resisting, at least some of the time.

F.

freelancemomma
04-27-2012, 04:51 PM
It's okay to go off plan, but it's not okay to stay there... The more that I act like a person who has a "normal" relationship with food, the closer I am to being such a person.

I love these thoughts. BTW, I'm also older (55), and I've yo-yoed several times in my life.

Edited to add: I just reread your post and found another great concept: "The burden of inaction." I absolutely love that and will pass it on to my kids.

F.

Amy23
04-27-2012, 10:35 PM
It's amazing that so many of us struggle with these insecurities. I also am terrified I'll struggle every day, and that one week of letting my binge tendencies go will undo a month or a year of eating well. Im trying so hard to not try so hard! What is that about? It's such a struggle for me to just eat normal and even after a month on plan, if I hear about someone's crazy binge, I WANT TO BINGE! I should be grossed out by the idea, but I want to just cut loose and eat until I'm sick. Does that fade with time? At least get less difficult to resist?

If you need to binge, and feel that the temptation's there, find a way to work a cheat day into your diet. Only if you feel you can handle it -- I know what it's like not to be able to stop.

I don't think the urge to binge will ever go away, but I do believe the consequences change. If you've been a perfect little dieter for months and then have a big binge, the physical consequences can be not-so-pretty. Both times I had a cheat meal I, a) couldn't eat half as much as I used to, or thought I could, b) got a migraine/vomiting/diarrhea. TMI! I know, I know. But I'd hate for someone to feel as sick as I did that day. Do what you need to do and what you think you can handle.

It's better to have an off-day, where you don't count any calories and eat whatever the heck you want and get straight back on plan the next day, than to wait until you can't rein in your urge to binge any longer and go tumbling back down the the dieting mountain.