Weight Loss Support - Grappling with goal weights




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RoseRodent
04-26-2012, 09:53 AM
I know people choose a whole variety of different goal weights for all kinds of reasons. I have two figures that go back and forth for me. One side of things is to set a goal that is on BMI grounds, the first weight that is inside the 20-24.9 BMI. Not because I believe in BMI, I think it's a real crock for many people, but because it means that at my thousands of medical appointments, nobody will ever mention my BMI. I've seen the stupidity that brings out in some people, that when I had a BMI of 25.1 I was sternly warned about virtually instantaneous death, at 24.9 (a whole 3lbs lighter) I was apparently going to live forever. Logic tells us that it isn't about the 3lbs.

So that weight makes a certain sense, but I also worry that I will never be properly happy. I felt sezy and confident when I was 140lbs so it's always been a goal weight for me ever since, with 4lbs for leeway that's why I set it at 136. The idea is to be happy with my image, particularly my photographic image. I want to appear in family photos without looking like the fat person in the group, I don't want to worry about pictures capturing my fat. But this may never be a reality, as I seem to suffer from fat photo syndrome. Impartial third parties agree that photographed in a wedding picture alongside my (UK) size 24 mother, my size 16 frame dwarfed her, I looked giant!

And what's really important is to be confident and happy with my size as an example to my young daughter. Can I ever be properly, genuinely, deep inside, happy with a higher goal?

People who have changed their goals, how did you feel about that? Does the nagging to reach your original goal weight ever go away? I want to make a decision and go on and replace my clothing, as being still on my journey I am cycling the same 3 outfits over and over. No, I cannot possibly afford to replace my clothes more than once, even second hand. and while I am uncertain about the merits of the last 15lbs or so I don't think I will find the motivation to get there, it will always be OK not to do it, then the next day I will wish I'd stuck to my guns to meet the original goal. What processes did you go through?


UnderTheMoon
04-26-2012, 10:12 AM
I am not close to meeting my goal, but I am on my way. I have a stern goal of 155 pounds, but then I got a membership at a gym and met with a personal trainer. I cannot afford a personal trainer right now, but as a new member to their gym they have complimentary services. One of these services is to get to know me and my goals and discuss how to get me there, show me how to use the equipment, etc. When I met with my trainer and said my goal was to weigh 155 he kind of looked at me and asked me why. I replied that it was my weight when I was happiest and felt most healthy and beautiful. He then talked about muscle vs fat and how muscle weighs more and increasing muscle mass = weighing more, so it isnt about the weight its about other factors. So I said "A size 6-9, however much I weigh at that point is ok, i just want to have the range froma size 6-9 (US)". He thinks I will reach that at around 170!! Thats a whole 15 pounds heavier than I expect!

So how does this affect me? I dont really know. All I know is that I have my favorite pair of old pants that I used to wear and I still have them.. When I can slip those pants on and button them without fat hanging over, thats when I succeed :) I suppose its all on how you look at it! Your goal is for you, and when you can look in the mirror and feel healthy, beautiful, and happy than I would say thats your goal!

sontaikle
04-26-2012, 10:19 AM
I had a lot of different goal weights throughout my journey, but I also had never been thin in my life (except when I was a very young child) so I didn't have any prior experiences to base my goal weight on. I lost weight slowly throughout high school, college, and graduate school but I have no idea how much or how much I weighed at my starting weight. All I know is I started to change my habits my junior year of high school after ballooning up to a size 18 (and I probably needed a 20).

Before I even started my journey I kept a pair of size 14 pants (that are probably equivalent to a 10 today) that hadn't fit me since middle school. I thought that if I could fit into those then I would be fine. Well when I did I still wasn't happy and now those pants are ridiculously large on me!

My first goal weight was to lose around 40lbs because that's all I thought I needed to lose. Unbeknownst to me, my scale was weighing me in at 10lbs heavier at the time, so I thought I was 200, aiming for 160. Still overweight at my height but I thought I would be happy there (in reality I was 190, aiming for 150 at the time). Nope! When I hit that I decided to aim for 20lbs more.

As I went down I kept moving my goal weight until I hit 135 (in reality, 125). I was really happy, but thought there were some things I could work on. I decided to focus on fitness and finding my maintenance calorie range. I continued to lose weight after hitting 125 and got down to 115. I'm really happy where I am now even though I never thought it was possible to get down this low.

I'm not sure immediately setting 115 as my goal would have helped me get down here. I guess it would be different had I been 115 at some point in my life (well I was, just when I was an overweight kid I guess). I found that when I focused on healthy habits and fitness that my body seemed to just want to naturally settle at a lower weight.

It's been an interesting journey all the way down and while I can hem and haw about what I might have done differently, I'm not sure that in the end I would have chosen to change anything.


juliana77
04-26-2012, 10:25 AM
I set my goal using the BMI method as well, mostly for having a lack of any other method to come up with a number.

I would have a hard time calling "goal" without getting to that number. With just 15 lbs to go, I know that 149 is in the ballpark for me, but I won't know until I get there whether it's right.

So, it's my goal and will remain my goal. After I hit it, I may choose a different goal. Maybe it will be too hard to maintain, and 155 will be the happy place. Maybe I won't be quite happy with the size I end up at and will want to continue.

In your case - I think it's fine to switch to maintenance for a while. This doesn't have to be a permanent decision. If you are happy where you are - celebrate it! Buy some new outfits, see how you settle in. If in 6 mos or a year you decide to get back on the losing wagon, then do it.

Good luck to you, I know it's a struggle.

Beach Patrol
04-26-2012, 11:21 AM
I am within 13 pounds of my goal (140 lb) However, my super-secret goal is 130 lb, which I do not have the confidence that I can make that. It seems I can't even make the 140 goal. In fact, I have been "maintaining" right at 153-155 for months now. Since T'giving!! - So I'm starting to question "is my body at its so-called natural weight?" I really do want to make goal. But I am simply not willing to cut my calories or exercise more than I have been ... at least, not right now. Maybe I'll change my mind in a few weeks, or months, or hellfuzzyfire, maybe tomorrow! ;)

But really, for right now, I'm OK with my body, with my success thus far, even if I'm not at 140. So I may just stay here awhile longer, or heck, forever.

The cool thing about weight loss? - you can change your goal whenever you want! :D

freelancemomma
04-26-2012, 11:35 AM
a 20). I continued to lose weight after hitting 125 and got down to 115. I'm really happy where I am now even though I never thought it was possible to get down this low.

I had a similar experience. My original goal weight was 155 lbs (I'm 5'11"). When I reached 165 lbs my weight loss slowed down, so I briefly considered revising my goal weight to 165 lbs. But then the weight started dropping more quickly again, and kept dropping until I reached 145 and now 140. It may seem low for a person of my height, but I'm by no means scrawny and I feel very good at this weight, so this is where I'll be trying to maintain.

F.

getmydivaback3
04-26-2012, 12:29 PM
I set my goal based on the size I was when I felt sexy in my clothes, which was before I had my last 2 kids. I want to be at 175 pounds. It's seem to be a lot compared to others goal, but I'm 5'9.5 and a pear. I'm okay with my hips and thighs being a little larger. I was very happy with myself then, but this time I would like to be a little more toned, and I can't seem to get up the courage to get rid of all my old clothes that I could wear back then. So basically I set my goal based on the size I felt the most happiest.