Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - My breasts are downright depressing lately




chickadee32
04-25-2012, 05:23 AM
Seriously. I'm convinced the last few pounds have come entirely from my breasts, and they look AWFUL. My ribs are showing through, my sternum sticks out with a big bump and it hurts under my bra, and my boobs are just saggy bags of wrinkly skin with some breast tissue at the bottom.

Why can't the fat come off my legs instead?? They're still really big (my thighs measure 21.5 inches, and my calves measure 15 inches); there's plenty to lose there!!

I feel like I'm going to need some serious plastic surgery at some point. The sagging skin on my thighs and stomach were always my biggest worries, and I really thought I would be more ok with my saggy breasts, but they've gotten much worse these past 10 lbs. It's depressing. I may look better clothed now, but naked I feel like I looked better 20 lbs ago.


melodymist
04-25-2012, 06:11 AM
I feel exactly the same. I've gone down 2 Cup sizes!

Raven132
04-25-2012, 09:02 AM
Mine will probably shrink down to nothing. They have never been perky, so no surprises there. No brilliant advise, just wanted you to know you're not the only one.


sontaikle
04-25-2012, 09:20 AM
I can sympathize with you. Mine are kinda empty looking too.

I noticed that they've gotten better than they were about two months ago, but they're still kinda...bleh.

The right bra helps and stuff, but the bra does have to come off! Haha.

runningfromfat
04-25-2012, 11:01 AM
Ah, chickadee32, it's hard. I so wish I could pick where my weight came off too (hello, my stomach has plenty right now!). I know we've talked about proper bra fitting before, do you think you need new bras maybe?

But I hear you on the deflated thing. I have a lot of wrinkled skin there and am hoping that they firm up a bit after weight loss. I've heard it can take up to 1-2 years for your skin to tighten up as much as it will after major weight loss.

I can't make the surgery decision for you, that's a really personal one but definitely research it well first. I haven't taken skin removal surgery off the table for myself either but I want to wait until we're definitely done having kids first because I don't want any chance of not being able to breastfeed again (and my stomach wouldn't have the chance of getting loose skin again from a subsequent pregnancy).

FWIW, I don't think 21" thighs are big at all!!! Mine are something like 23" (I think, i haven't measured that recently) and I can wear size 4 pants so... 21" doesn't sound big to me at all. ;)

rainydays
04-25-2012, 11:18 AM
My breasts are exactly how you've described, and I've got 22" thighs, so I hear you! It would be great to be able to spot reduce!

DCHound
04-25-2012, 09:35 PM
Holy ghost lady, you've lost 150 lbs!! Of course your boobs are going to shrink too. Go to your nearest quality department store and get fitted by a pro for a good bra and invest in it. Yeah they are expensive but it's an investment. A good bra will do WONDERS for you and boost your self confidence and self esteem out of this world.

Who gets to see you without your bra on? Generally 3 people - you, your doctor and your significant other (assuming you have one). And they love you and care about you. So WHO GIVES A FLYING FIG what you look like without a bra on??

Can I put this any more clearly? You lost ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS. Who CARES what you look like without a bra?? You are AMAZING. Boobs are important for child rearing and otherwise merely decorative, fun or inconvenient depending on the circumstances. Just love them, be glad you have them, and get a good bra. :)

Fo sho. :)

chickadee32
04-26-2012, 09:59 PM
My hormones must be nuts right now, because I'm all teary-eyed reading your replies. This place is just so great sometimes, and you ladies are amazing. I feel so much better after reading what you have to say - the support, and knowing that I'm not alone in feeling this way (I know that logically, but it doesn't always really sink in, you know??).

runningfromfat and DChound - lol, I made this post the other night after spending about 2 hours trying to shop for a new bra! I really like my current one (Wacoal), but I just bought it a month ago and now the cups are too big AGAIN. I tried going down a cup size in the same exact style, but I must be in between cup sizes or something because it didn't fit right. So then I tried on about 50 other bras (some other Wacoals, lots of different sizes, and then lots other brands in the wrong size that I shouldn't have even bothered with) and not a single one worked or looked good. It was so frustrating! My underbust is 31 inches and the 32 bands fit best in the Wacoal (in some styles the 32 bands even seem too tight), but I cannot find the right cup size, or style, or something. It made me really upset - I'm happy to spend the money on a good bra, but if I can't find something that works in the store (and there seem to be few options for my size) then I'm afraid of ordering a bunch online and still not finding one that works and wasting all the time and money sending them back.

I will certainly research surgery intensively if I ever decide to go that route, but I am definitely a few years away from making a decision on that too. We're still trying to have children and I wouldn't do it until after that for the same reasons you mentioned runningfromfat, and I do want to see where my body settles out after I've tried to maintain for a good while.

On the thighs - lol, I think if you include all the extra skin that is hanging down from them, they'd be larger in measurement! I can barely get my legs into size 4s - I bought one pair the other day (of really stretchy jeans), but they are still too tight in the thighs to wear just yet.

DCHound, thank you - you're right, that's the head space I need to be in. My husband doesn't care. I just used to have nice boobs, lol, and I'm mourning the loss of them. But I'll take these ones at this weight any day over how I used to feel, that's for sure. :)


And I did buy a really good sports bra tonight at a running store, and it fits well, so that was good. I suppose that at least it's nice now to be able to wear any sports bra without needing a second bra beneath it for the added support!


Edit: And btw DCHound, I'm in Gaithersburg too. :) Congratulations on your amazing weight loss!!!

runningfromfat
04-26-2012, 10:08 PM
Hmm... I wonder if it's the type of bras that you're trying? It sounds like the 32 band is good, but what are the problems that you're running into exactly.

One thing that happens often after major weight loss is that your breast tissue is softer so you might need a high center gore and bras with narrower, deeper cups. Otherwise it could be an issue with the brand itself (each brand has its own quirks that you learn after awhile). Let me know what the fit issues are and maybe I can help. ;)

chickadee32
04-26-2012, 10:47 PM
runningfromfat, thank you!! I would love the help.

My current bra is a full-coverage, molded cup in 32DDD, and now the tops of the cups are empty. It does well at holding in the fat/tissue that can slip out to the sides, which is why I like it... but the top of the cups are hollow now. When I tried the 32DD in the same style, the fat/tissue was going out the sides and I had to keep tucking it back in. That also seemed to be the case with the other bras I tried - if the top of the cups fit, stuff was spilling out the sides.

I was tending to stick with the molded cups because they give me a little more confidence in the shape of my breasts, but I did try some ones without molded cups... and either I spilled out the top or sides of the cups, or didn't fill out the cups completely and there was puckering/wrinkling or too much space.

At one point I really wanted to find a bra again that would give me a little cleavage, or that I could wear with a lower v-neck top without the tops of my bra showing... but I think I've realized that's unrealistic :lol: and I'd just be happy with even a good-fitting full-coverage bra. And actually, I would LOVE one that doesn't come up so high in the center... that's the part that is irritating my sternum with the way it sticks out.


Edit: I thought I found the actual bra I have, but I looked at the straps and it's not the same one (I tried on that one too; I know those straps). The closest I found to the one I have is this: http://www.wacoal-america.com/shop/bras/full-busted/inspiration-underwire-bra_855187.html?index=1&searchCategoryId=22002&totalResults=6&displayMarkdownsOnly=false

sontaikle
04-26-2012, 11:55 PM
chickadee have you tried plunge bras? From what you're describing my breasts seem to be similar and I've found that plunge bras work better than the full coverage ones. I also spring for molded cups for the same reason you do.

chickadee32
04-27-2012, 01:23 AM
sontaikle, I would LOVE to find a good plunge bra. That was the style I always wore before the weight loss. Is there a specific one you'd recommend?

runningfromfat
04-27-2012, 07:51 AM
chickadee

For good plunge bras:

I think you really might like the Freya Deco (http://www.brastop.com/SetDetails2.aspx?setId=3711). It's a moulded cup plunge bra that gets amazing reviews. In the Deco I'd recommend sizing down because it runs large in the cups so go for a 32DD

Also, Ewa Michalak plunge (http://www.ewa-michalak.pl/)s are AMAZING. They're seamed instead of moulded but I think that might actually be a much better fit for you. What happens when you have moulded bras is that your breasts have to fit the exact shape of the mould whereas a seamed bra adapts more to your breast shape. That's why (in my case) it's pretty much impossible to find a moulded cup bra in larger cup sizes because there's just too much breast variation to take into account.

I know that Freya and Panache also carry other plunges in both sheer cups and seamed so they might be worth a try.

It sounds like to me that you might have full on bottom breasts (hence why you're struggling to fill out the top of the cups but sizing down makes the cups too small in general. In that case a balconette with a lowish center gore really could be a great option for you (and again Ewa Michalak has those in seamed, padded cups which would fit better to your breasts).

Another option, but they do have a higher center gore, is the Curvy Kate Show girl range like the Thrill Me or Tease Me. However, those do show up underneath shirts. I posted a review recently of the Thrill Me (http://braslessinbrasil.blogspot.com.br/2012/04/curvy-kate-thrill-me-30h-deruffling.html) and ended up cutting off the ruffles, and was really happy with that.

Elliemar
04-27-2012, 08:08 AM
Awwww chickadee I sympathise! I used to have great boobs but they seem to have imploded during the alst few lb when I still have plenty refusing to come off my stomach or thighs.

Have to agree with DCHound - you've done phenomenally well and that's really more important. :)

jomatho
04-27-2012, 08:37 AM
I am reading and learning so much from all these posts about boobs and bras. I am TRYING to hold off until almost to goal to get new bras, but may not make it that long, especially at the slow rate I am losing now :lol:
Anyways, I have a couple questions
What do you guys like about the plunge bra, what are the benefits and who should wear one? I don't think I have ever tried one of those on. Is it more for someone who has more tissue lower on the breast?
Also, what is a gore? I haven't heard that term yet. How do you know what kind of gore a bra has?
Just learning and dreaming of the day I am at goal in an awesome bra :cloud9:

runningfromfat
04-27-2012, 02:14 PM
I am reading and learning so much from all these posts about boobs and bras. I am TRYING to hold off until almost to goal to get new bras, but may not make it that long, especially at the slow rate I am losing now :lol:
Anyways, I have a couple questions
What do you guys like about the plunge bra, what are the benefits and who should wear one? I don't think I have ever tried one of those on. Is it more for someone who has more tissue lower on the breast?
Also, what is a gore? I haven't heard that term yet. How do you know what kind of gore a bra has?
Just learning and dreaming of the day I am at goal in an awesome bra :cloud9:

Jomatho- did you look into altering bras in the meantime? It really can help both your posture and the effects of gravity in the meantime. ;)

Plunge bras have their purpose but it really depends on your breast type. Personally, I can't wear them very often at all because I have very soft breast tissue so my breasts don't stay in place! They breast tissue spill towards the middle instead... even in perfectly fitting plunges.

That being said, they can be a good option for women with firmer breasts, especially breasts that are full on top. Often women with this time of breasts struggle to find breasts that don't cut into their breast tissue on the top without getting a bra that the wires are too wide/can't fill out the bottom. Thus, plunges are less bra so it cuts back on this issue.

The center gore is the part of your bra that sits between your breasts. In a plunge the center gore is very low so your breasts are pushed together (and if you have very soft breasts that can mean your breasts actually touch while wearing the bra). A high center gore would mean that your breasts are separated at all times (really good for soft breasts to prevent spillage towards the center but can be irritating for firmer breasts because it could actually work against the breast shape).

It's really important, though, that the center gore sit flat against your sternum (and you can't pull it away from your chest when your bra is fastened). If it doesn't sit flat it normally means that your cups are too small and/or your band is too big. In some rare cases women have such close set breasts that they can never get the center gore to sit properly but on most women this is not an issue.

jomatho
04-27-2012, 03:58 PM
Well, thank you for that explanation!
I have no idea what type of breasts I have :dizzy: Let's see, they are big, they are much softer now than they used to be, but still have a lot of dense tissue (fibrocystic). They are lower now than they used to be, but I would say the tissue is pretty evenly placed. I fill my bras out completely top and bottom and if the cups are too small I tend to spill out the middle and end up with 4 boobs, I hate that. I have never had a bra where the gore sat against my sternum, but that was before I knew how to measure. I will know better now.
I am thinking a plunge would not work for me, I have trouble keeping the girls out of the middle as it is.
Yes, I have been altering my bras, just cinching/zigzagging a little off the band every once in a while and the straps as needed. It is working for now, but I am itching to get bra shopping. I know I will lose more off my boobs though if I ever get to goal, so I hate to spend good money yet.

shcirerf
04-29-2012, 01:57 AM
I sympathize with the bra issue.

My poor girls are old, and long, and basically like half set jello poured into a balloon. I tried on 13 bras today, bought 2. Not perfect, but the best I could find in my local Wal Mart. There is no other store where I live that sells bras.

Need a trip to the city.

chickadee32
04-30-2012, 12:19 AM
runningfromfat, thank you!!! I REALLY like that first bra (love the wider, thicker straps), and am going to order and try it. I also read your post about the soft breast tissue, and I definitely have that issue... so I'm wondering whether a plunge will work for me at all at this weight since I haven't tried one (haven't found one!) in so long. But we shall see. I'll also look at the seamed cup ones and the balconettes with the lower center gore (I used to love balconettes as well, and the low center gore sounds like it will really help with my sternum).

Ellie and shcirerf, thank you, and even though it's nice to not be alone, I'm sorry you're having these issues too! I wish we could just pick and choose where the weight comes off and keep the nice boobs all filled out with fat. :lol:

jomatho, given your descriptions, let us know what you end up getting and what kind of bras work well for you! It can only be helpful for others here too who might read the thread. (I wouldn't have known about the soft breast tissue thing had runningfromfat not mentioned it!)

runningfromfat
05-05-2012, 07:41 AM
chickadee- no problem! I really hope you find something that works for you. ;) I think plunges can be ok for special occasions but you might have to readjust often when you have softer breast tissue. I don't own a plunge at the moment but will probably pick one once I hit goal and my breast size stabalizes but as an everyday bra it's not something I'd recommend. :)

shcirerf- yes, definitely try the city! Walmart is going to have a pretty small size selection. Also, don't be afraid to order online. Brastop and ebay uk normally have some great prices.

jomatho- if you've never had a center gore that lays against your sternum that your bra size has been pretty far off this whole time. Most likely you need a much smaller band with bigger cups. hopefully you hit goal soon and can get some awesome bras! ;)

ChickieBoom
04-25-2013, 12:51 PM
Just found this thread and although it's old...it's exactly what I needed just now. I need to stop comparing myself to these ridiculous perky celebrities that have probably all had plastic surgery.

mimsyborogoves
04-25-2013, 05:29 PM
I've been having breast depression as of late. They're so deflated and bleh at this point that even my partner has started ignoring them when we're intimate because they just don't do anything anymore -- for either of us. All I can do is hide them in a bra because they're just nothing special anymore and it's really upsetting! I want a boob job.

CherryPie99
04-25-2013, 06:00 PM
Even at my heaviest I had small boobs and now that I've lost weight they are really small (but not droopy fortunately). But I work out a lot so my DH has turned from a boob man into an a$$ man LOL :D

Mii
04-26-2013, 12:23 AM
Mine were a 38D when I was at 230 and now are something like a 38 C/D? I am losing volume when I wear a D-cup bra.

Depressed b/c I thought it was one of my better features - I have an average bum / face / etc.

:(

Tibbits2u
04-26-2013, 11:50 AM
My breasts are horrid ! They are just bags of loose skin now..all wrinkly and droopy..they aren't even symetrical anymore..I am really going to need to see a plastic surgeon when all is said and done. oh well for the time being its nothing that a good padded push up bra cant fix !

ChickieChicks
04-26-2013, 02:48 PM
I know surgery isn't an option for everyone, but I had my breasts done after in,ost the weight, and it has been such a great decision. We could only afford one surgery (boobs or tummy tuck) and my breasts were a bigger issue for me. I lost all volume and was left with empty, limp tissue. My pec muscles and ribs were visible and they were making me feel deformed. I can deal with stretchmarks everywhere, sagging skin in areas, etc, but for ME, the breast issue was too much for me.

I didn't need a lift, just a volume change. Seems to me that unless someone is VERY naturally gifted, it is just not possible to be tiny and have large breasts. Maybe thatis why it can be considered desirable...hard to achieve and "rare". I am pear-shaped and I feel the surgery has balanced me out.

LisaMacG
04-27-2013, 08:35 PM
Oh, I can relate! I was a D cup pre-weight gain, then a DD to DDD with excess weight and now, I have ugly - NOT sexy, deflated balloons. The one thing I felt good about my body was my BREASTS.

I am struggling so much right now with my body image. I thought when I lost all this weight I would go back to having this great 36-26-36 body. I am more physically fit than ever. I work out with a trainer 2 x per week and actually have biceps and definition in my shoulders, something I never had. I do have some sag in my arms, but it is the rest of me. I do have a small, flat torso, but that is about it. My butt sags, my tummy has skin hanging over, and my thighs are awful. I am even putting silicon padding in my bra. On top of that, my face, which most said was "pretty" 20-30 lbs ago, now just looks OLD and wrinkled. I look even worse when I smile! :(

Sometimes I feel like crying. I don't want to just look good in clothes. I want to feel sexy and I can't knowing what I look like underneath. For my face to fill out, it feels like my only option is to gain weight, which I do NOT want to do. In fact, I want to lose about 5 to 10 more. I think that maybe if I lose more, some of the sag will go away. The other option is lots of plastic surgery. I am actually okay with that. Although I haven't worked out the money part yet.

So, I kind of think I should get plastic surgery...tighten things up (remove some of the fat in my problem areas)...maybe get a mini face lift and then gain a little weight back. Now this next part sounds twisted...I always told myself it was about how I looked not what the scale says...but NOW, something visceral in me recoils at the thought of gaining a single OUNCE. On top of that, I like the sound of "145 to 155" more than "175," which seems to be where my FACE (not my body) looks its best.

I just spent so many years being invisible and unattractive to the opposite sex that I thought it would be different when I lost the weight. Now that I have, I want to feel like men find me attractive and I am beginning to feel like I am going to be unattractive no matter what. I am so upset with myself. I feel like I wasted my attractive years in a bowl of ice cream!

I probably sound like a cry baby. I am NOT sorry I lost the weight. I just WISH I had done it sooner. I am really struggling with this and it is something that none of my friends or family understand.

Oh - I forgot to say my age - 45.

charliee
04-30-2013, 11:13 PM
I feel for you LisaMacG, as someone who started where you were and still has a long way to go, it is a daily struggle to not focus on all the imperfections that I'm going to be left with after "abusing" my body for so long.

At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that we are not celebrities, we will never have perfect bodies. But that doesn't mean we can't have bodies that we are happy with. I don't know how long ago you reached you're current weight, but it's going to take time for your body to settle. You've got great definition in your biceps and shoulders? Awesome, now start working on your thighs and butt. You can sculpt them with training just like you did your arms.

You're open to plastic surgery (me too, I'm gonna need it for my breasts for sure), which means you can fix some of the things that are a problem for you.

In my opinion the most important thing you need to remember about being attractive to others is being attractive to yourself. If you think you look good, others will pick up on it. You've lost a lot weight and despite a few imperfections I'm sure you look great.

So go get your hair and nails did, buy yourself some sexy/naughty/pretty/bright coloured/whatever works for you lingerie and take a few selfies in the mirror. Then compare those photo's to your before pictures and I'm sure you're gonna be impressed.

You're not a crybaby. Everyone dealing with losing a lot of weight goes through this. It doesn't matter that you didn't do it sooner, you DID IT! And you should be proud. You're amazing! Don't forget it!

Ija
05-10-2013, 12:39 PM
I felt the same way, watching "the girls" shrink down to size AA, untile there was nothing left of them. Even as I was enjoying my weight loss I was so discouraged by losing that part of myself. I tried to accept it but I didn't feel feminine at all. So... for the last couple of years I've been saving up some money for an augmentation and finally had it done five weeks ago. I AM THRILLED! The surgery wasn't a cakewalk and I was in a lot of pain for a day or two afterward, but it was totally worth it. My shape is more balanced and I'm not self conscious about my shrunken chest anymore.

Surgery isn't right for everyone but it was definitely right for me. Even though I have implants I feel more like "myself" than I have in a long time.

ChickieBoom
05-10-2013, 01:16 PM
Let's see...I was always quite chesty...a 34DD in high school and college. My breasts were never perky but I was fine with them and if I lifted my arms in the air...they looked pretty good.

Then I started gaining weight and my girls grew and grew. At my heaviest I think I was a 40H? And those bras were probably getting too snug.

Now I'm a 34G and my breasts are downright pitiful. There's so much loose skin...they don't even look that perky in a pushup bra.

I've started looking at my naked body in the mirror...really looking at it. It could be better but it could be a whole lot worse. I was advised not to get my breasts done until after I've had kids (which isn't something I'm planning in the foreseeable future) but I don't look half bad with my clothes on so for now...that's going to have to be good enough.

franciejones
05-12-2013, 11:32 AM
Boobs....ugh..just the bane of a womans existence if you ask me. lol I miss my young boobs...and I have considered getting them "fixed" but ..in the end..I think it is just a waste of money. You know if you get implants you have to get them changed out every ten years? What the heck is that? Planned obsolecense? (sp?) It's a marketing thing..but anyway...somedays I think I would just rather have them hacked off so I could sleep on my stomach comfortably. lol

whiskey
05-14-2013, 01:42 PM
I've never had perky boobs as they've always been large and unwieldy. I think that when I start losing more weight they are going to get even worse looking. I pretty much told my husband that I'm going to get surgery the moment I have children and finish breast feeding.

Kscott
05-15-2013, 02:47 PM
Seriously. I'm convinced the last few pounds have come entirely from my breasts, and they look AWFUL. My ribs are showing through, my sternum sticks out with a big bump and it hurts under my bra, and my boobs are just saggy bags of wrinkly skin with some breast tissue at the bottom.

Why can't the fat come off my legs instead?? They're still really big (my thighs measure 21.5 inches, and my calves measure 15 inches); there's plenty to lose there!!

I feel like I'm going to need some serious plastic surgery at some point. The sagging skin on my thighs and stomach were always my biggest worries, and I really thought I would be more ok with my saggy breasts, but they've gotten much worse these past 10 lbs. It's depressing. I may look better clothed now, but naked I feel like I looked better 20 lbs ago.

Breasts are fatty tissue--and that's where most women lose weight first--(unfortunately.) It's a common complaint--but really it's much better to lose the fat--have loose skin--because let's face it, most people are going to see you clothed versus naked anyway--ha.ha.

NightValeRes
08-08-2013, 01:23 AM
I'm in a similar situation. 100 pounds down and my D's are now As. (My thighs are at 24.5 so I've got you beat! ;) ) I'm embarrassed and self-conscious about my lack of boobs, but slowly coming to terms. I've been maintaining about a month and I've started weight lifting (arms, abs, butt, etc.) It may be wishful thinking, but I think they're already starting to look better.

Your post was made a while ago, so hopefully you have some insight about any long-term changes/adaptations that may have occured!