40-Somethings - The man I'm dating wants to eat out all the time!




cbigsis
04-23-2012, 11:33 AM
How do you deal with trying to eat well when others in your life do not?

It was much easier when I was losing weight before I started dating. I did not have to worry about eating with others for the most part. I had dinner with my kids but I was in control of what that was and could make sure I had healthy food and could control my portions.

Now I have been dating this wonderful man for the last year and half and managed to maintain pretty well. When he was not here I ate very carefully and had more time to get my workouts in so when we were together I could take the time with him. He LOVES to eat out and I can usually find fairly healthy options but its still not as healthy as what I would have at home and then I always have leftovers to eat for another day or two as well. So in trying to lose some more weight I don't want to tell him no, I can't eat out all the time and take away something he enjoys. but its reallllly hard to not want all those yummy fattening foods I smell!

What do you do when you feel pressure to eat things you know you would not otherwise but don't want to hurt other people's feelings?


Justwant2Bhealthy
04-23-2012, 09:13 PM
Invite him to your house for dinner -- simpy becuz eating out too much isn't healthy for anyone -- you or him. :)

lyv33
04-27-2012, 09:04 PM
I agree with justwant2be or just keep chosing healthy options from the menu.


Sum38
04-27-2012, 10:09 PM
Does he like ethnic cooking? Suggest cooking together and trying out new recipes. Cooking together can be so sensual.

mariposssa
04-27-2012, 10:12 PM
Usually...I cave and give in and eat the crap. I have tried all the techniques and tricks. You know, order salad with dressing on the side, order an appetizer as your meal, share a meal with my dd, put half in a box to take home, order off the ala cart meal, etc. But, usually if I am there in a restaurant surrounded by people indulging in all that delicious smelling food...well, like I said before I just cave. Next thing I know I am pigging out on bread or chips and salsa or whatever. :o

usmcvet
04-28-2012, 10:02 AM
Salad with chicken breast and oil and vinegar works for me. Let him know how you feel and pick places with good options for you. Have fun too!

Sally Pineapple
04-28-2012, 11:13 AM
I had the same problem with my boyfriend.
I started cooking for him and after he would remark on what a great dinner it was I would ask him how much do you think it would cost if you paid for it at a restaurant? He would say the price and then I would tell him how much it cost to prepare and he was shocked at how much cheaper it was and with the economy these days we eat at home and hardly go out anymore and he enjoys a nice bottle of wine at half the price and the quiet of no screaming kids which you can get when you go out. :)

cbigsis
04-29-2012, 01:15 AM
Thanks for all your suggestions!! We do cook together some and I think I will suggest us doing that a lot more. Its another healthy activity we can do together. I know he really enjoys eating out so maybe if we just keep it to once a week. Maybe he will get used to it.

mari, I cave too! Its so hard not to. But I guess if I really want to lose this weight then its got to be my responsibility not to... sigh... If we can keep it less often though I think it will be easier.

kaplods
04-29-2012, 01:39 AM
I met my husband through a personal ad I placed, where I fully disclosed my weight and my desire to get thinner and healthier, and that I was looking for someone in the same boat, or willing to support it.....


And while I tried to continue dieting while dating, I still gained about 20 to 25 lbs during our first year of dating.

Eating (whether at restaurants or special dinners in) is such an ingrained "courtship ritual" in our culture, it seems almost impossible to date without gaining weight.

And my husband and I both did and do still love eating out, even though we're both working at weight. It's something we don't want to give up, so we continue to eat out frequently but we do it much differently than we used to.

When we were dating, my husband always wanted to impress me, so he'd encourage the "whole shebang"... before dinner drinks, appetizers, meal, dessert, afterdinner drink...

Now when we go out, even though we're now both dieting, one of us may be splurging while the other might be choosing to eating light. Or we both might be splurging, or we both might be eating light, but we try not to let our individual choice pressure the other into making the same decision.

We don't do the many course meals anymore. Often we'll order appetizer soups as meals (especially at asian restaurants - where an appetizer soup for two is the perfect size for dinner for one).

We will sometimes share a meal, or we'll only eat 1/3 of our meal and get two more meas out of the leftovers.

There are a lot of ways to make eating out work. Sometimes I find it easier to eat on plan in restaurants than at home.

shcirerf
04-29-2012, 01:43 AM
If this man is this wonderful, he should be willing to compromise with YOU, when you tell HIM, that in order to lead a healthy life style, you have to watch your food choices and take the time to work out.

Healthy choices are a win, win for everyone!

mariposssa
04-29-2012, 02:17 AM
My husband is OP with me...we both watch our carbs and put the miles in together. We usually only go out on the weekends and I tweaked our plan with some room for that...so Saturday is our higher carb day. It is not a cheat day; but for dinner we eat at the high end of our carb range. Then, Sunday is actually our CHEAT day and we eat whatever.

We went out tonight to our favorite Hibachi Grill buffet. I did fine. Hubby splurged quite a bit. On another day it could have just as easily worked out the other way around. Yesterday, I was HUNGRY all day long and I kept eating more protein, protein, protein instead of feeding the carb monster. I think that actually worked to my benefit today because I just wasn't all that hungry. Plus, a weird thing I have found about me is that I do better at buffets. I know that would trigger some overeaters. But, for me...there are so many quick and easy good options right in front of me that most of the time I end up making good choices. It is the restaurants that pimp baskets of carb crap before the meal that always trip me up. :dizzy:

lyv33
04-29-2012, 11:15 AM
I have to say that I know it's hard, because when we go out with people everyone orders the regular food and it looks and smells delicious. We went to the Cheesecake Factory a couple of weeks ago and everyone got the best looking food. I ordered from the skinnylicious menu and had the skinnylicious hamburger with an arguala (sp) salad with balsalmic drsg for 500 calories. It was delicious. I had not had a burger in a year and it was just so good.

I stuck to my plan because I now know that I want to stay smaller. I was miserable heavier. I felt bad and looked bad. I look good now and feel amazing. I hate to feel full and I hate how I feel when I eat fattening foods. It has taken me a year to mentally become this strong and I don't think that I will ever go back to the way I was. I wish you luck.

eguestx0
04-29-2012, 12:43 PM
Order something healthy and only eat half of it. As soon as the server brings my food out I ask for a to go box and I box up half of the meal right away. That way I don't over eat and I have lunch for the next day (:

lyv33
05-02-2012, 01:14 AM
Order something healthy and only eat half of it. As soon as the server brings my food out I ask for a to go box and I box up half of the meal right away. That way I don't over eat and I have lunch for the next day (:

I don't know about anyone else, but as soon as I get the to go box home I eat what's in it. It's like when I go to Subway, and I go almost everyday for lunch, and I order the 12 inch sub and intend to eat only 1/2 of it for lunch, but 30 minutes after I have eaten it I have to eat the other one. It's like an obsession with me. So, I never order a 12 inch sub unless someone else is with me and they are going to eat it. It's something that I have had to learn along the way.

usmcvet
05-02-2012, 04:42 PM
I don't know about anyone else, but as soon as I get the to go box home I eat what's in it. It's like when I go to Subway, and I go almost everyday for lunch, and I order the 12 inch sub and intend to eat only 1/2 of it for lunch, but 30 minutes after I have eaten it I have to eat the other one. It's like an obsession with me. So, I never order a 12 inch sub unless someone else is with me and they are going to eat it. It's something that I have had to learn along the way.

Me too. And as I am doing it I am telling myself to stop! So I've stopped asking for containers for certain things. Like chocolate chip pancakes. My kids almost never finish theirs. Last time we had breakfast there, I did not eat of their plates and did not ask for a container because I know I would be the one eating the leftovers. We are all different and need to tweak things for ourselves.

LAgreeneyes
05-02-2012, 04:46 PM
If this man is this wonderful, he should be willing to compromise with YOU, when you tell HIM, that in order to lead a healthy life style, you have to watch your food choices and take the time to work out.

Healthy choices are a win, win for everyone!


I agree. Well said.